Daily Dose

I had a very busy day today. I was almost nonstop from morning 'til night! Nonetheless, it was a beautiful day.

I had a great time teaching again today. I like the feeling of seeing my students improve every single day. I want them all to learn and to pass the subject. I hope they will really try harder. There is soh much fulfillment in seeing a student do new things that before he could not do or was afraid to do. *sigh*

I also had to meet with my favorite thesis group. They are my favorite for two reasons, first, I think they work hard and second, their topic is part of my dissertation and DOST project. I thought it was a fun meeting that we had. In between that meeting I also received good news. I hope everything really works out.

During my lull time i was able to visit the site of Chico Garcia ! i have missed Rush Hour soh much! I mean I find Delle and Chico really funny plus the Rushers and their entries are also too funny! :) It's nice that Chico compiles the Top Ten entries on his blog and I get to read them even months after the Top Ten happened. I found the possible titles for Manny Pacquiao and Sylvester Stallone's movie funny! I found these to be hilarious:
1. Pac You
2. Buksingin Mo Ako Lalaking Matapang (Akin Ka Balboa) *wahahah* Sorry, I still find it hilarious up to now! :)
3. Mani at Rambu-tan (Para Sa'yo ang Mubing Ito)
4. Get Ready to Rambo

*hahaha!*

Seriously nuts! :)

After reading this, I had to get to class again and as I was walking to my class, alone, mind you, I had this big smile pasted on my lips and when no one was looking I was still laughing! *hahaha* The titles were crazy!!! Crazy I tell you! :)

As if these were not enough, I also have the Lord to thank for my wonderful nonacad class. I have the most fun block in my nonacad class! :) I love them! They will make anything fun. I supply activities that are meant to allow them to have fun but if the block had a snooty attitude they will not work even if I brought with me Time Zone! I love that they are soh game.

After my class I had a meeting where we discussed the questions for the exam. They loved the problem that I contributed. They said it was a very cute problem. *yey* Thank You Lord, I know You have much to do with that! *wink*

Anyway to cap off my day I had a nice bible study session. I really need all the guidance and I think all the sessions help. :)

Thank You Lord, today I felt your hug not just from the outside but from the inside as well.

Thank You.

Cheeeeessssy!!!

I know this is cheesy and unoriginal but this pretty much sums up all that I am feeling right now:

Heart, don't fail me now!
Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turnback
Now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
Or how a road can seem so long
How the world can seem so vast
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you

This is from the song Journey to the Past. Not really going anywhere, am staying here in the present, nonetheless, I need to be strong for what is ahead.

Day is going A-ok so far!

Thank You Lord. :)

Messed Up

I really did not get to do much today because I had to cram for my paper *haha*! It's not because I did not start early, it's just that the paper was too long. The next readings are even longer... argh... I got another 4.0 today! *yehey* I know it does not matter if, I'm an auditing student but it still feels good to get affirmations every once in a while.

We discussed about emotions again tonight. Apparently, those people who get uprooted from their source of support have problems regulating emotions... I can soh relate to this. *sigh*

I have nothing much to say tonight really. I do not know why. Perhaps it's because I spent most of the day reading and writing a paper. I feel unready to sleep yet and yet it's already early in the morning. My sleeping habit is all messed up and so is this entry and sadly, these are not all in my list of messed up things...

Good night!

Just a Quick One

I have a really thick paper to read! Arggh... I just finished with the other thick paper and I can feel my eye lids falling. :) Yet, I find time to blog. This is really very addictive and therapeutic. Wow, oxymoron.

I had a great time teaching today! I mean, I seriously enjoyed my lectures. :) How vain of me I know *hehe*. I had fun because I think I am getting through to them. Thank God! I hope they will practice more on their own so they can finally get it. Teaching computer programming is like teaching toddlers how to walk. It's really a very emotional process for me. It embodies all the nice and horrible things that teaching offers.

I have so many things that I need to do, the list goes on and on, but I have much to be happy about so I must not complain.

Thank You Lord.

Now going back to that paper...

Eureka!

Whew!

Thank You Lord for providing me ideas tonight. After I took a bath, ideas came rushing in. I guess, this is a way of telling me to take a bath before I start working too. :)

I am so relieved that I was able to prepare a presentation for tomorrow for the mock DOST presentation. I was also able to think of a COMPRO exam programming problem on 1-D arrays. I was really having great difficulty thinking of a problem. Whew! I came up with the problem while I was hearing mass. Thank You Lord!!!

A man from Mindanao who also belongs to the group Mamamayan Ayaw sa Aerial Spray spoke during the mass. He was asking for support so that we will sign a petition. They are being sprayed with pesticide through the aerial spraying that was being done by plantations in Davao. I think this is really terrible. Some of the residents that got sprayed on lost their eyesight, some got skin diseases, who knows what other harmful effect the pesticides have? My sister said she will boycott the company that does this. I am yet to find out about the companies who use this. I tried looking for them on the Net but I did not get anything. I hope they will really fix this problem. This violates the Clean Air and Clean Water Act!

After mass we went straight to the mall to have dinner. Guess where? Joey Pepperoni. I know I told myself I will not return for a while but my sister requested that we dine there. I had All You Can Eat Pasta. I had two plates. I swear I felt soh guilty afterwards! I should not have eaten that much! Anyway, their service was fast at least in my experience, I had only two plates. My brother had three and he said the third plate took forever to arrive. You might be wondering why I was not there, that's because my sister and I decided to scoot after finishing our two plates. We really needed to walk off the food. I know, like that can happen *haha!*. We can wish, can't we? My sister's 2nd plate was carbonara and it was terrible according to her. My brother and mom tried it too and they too were displeased. So word to the wise, do not order carbonara. :) Meat sauce is not excellent but definitely better.

Their service improved but if you ask me, I would still go for Sbarro. I mean their pasta tastes great! I think I am saying this because I do not really eat as much as my brother. Half an order is already good for me at Sbarro! :)

Before eating, we dropped by the Marian exhibit and marveled at all the different images of Mama Mary. It's October, universally known as the month of the Holy Rosary after all. :) I should try to say the Holy Rosary this month. It has been a while. I used to say it everyday. What happened?

Lost

Waaah!!!

Got a deadline tomorrow and I need to write something but nothing is coming. All I have is a flat line. My brain has not been most cooperative lately. I really should start observing correct sleeping habit. Argh... I feel like i know what I need to write but I cannot seem to begin.

I feel like an empty vessel floating in the sea, not knowing where to go. I really need direction badly. Maybe I just need focus. I might already have a direction but I am not focusing. Must...

Must think of a reason why I am doing this. When I have that, this should all make sense.

Against the Tide

I just finished reading Time Traveler's Wife and I found the book nice. It took me such a long time to finish it because books that interested me more kept on coming, books such as Like Water for Chocolate, Man's Search for Meaning among others. Finally, I have given it the time that it deserves and somehow in between reading it and putting it down, it has grown on me.

I enjoyed the love story immensely. It was mostly about waiting and defying time. I have never been good at waiting but hopefully, with all the things that have happened to me already I have learned a thing or two about waiting.

I now wait for what the future holds. I wait with faith and with hope.

I Am Loved!

Today marks my first bible study session this trimester. I have to look after two groups. I was actually hesitant in accepting a group, because of the things that are going on in my life. However, the head, who also happens to be one of my spiritual advisers told me that there is not enough people. I even have to take two groups this term. So I did.

Tonight we discussed Romans 3-4. I love, love these two chapters because this is really what I need right now. The chapters assure me that the Lord loved me first. Even before I was born He loved me. He is willing to forgive me all my grievances, all I have to do is have faith. All this time, I was feeling inadequate, the chapters assured me, we all are inadequate. We are all sinners but because of His grace, His greatest gift, Jesus Christ, we have all been forgiven. Truly, the Lord is soh loving.

I also love the gospel today. The gospel said, if somebody knocks on your door tonight and asks for food because he had visitors would you give him food? Even if you think at first that you do not want to give, if the guy persists, would you not eventually give him food? So much more your Father. If you sinners can give food to those in need, how much more I? Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. :)

I love it.

Beat It

OMG!

Michael Jackson beatboxing!!!



I accidentally posted this to my other blog!!! I was that excited!

Musings of the Unamused

I just saw Fame tonight and it is really amazing how the movement of the human body, the sound of a voice can touch your soul. I am being my sappy self again haha! Can't help it! These past few days, I have been too contemplative to not be oversentimental. We have been waiting for this movie and it did not disappoint me. I saw dance, I saw art, I really wanted to jump off my seat and dance *haha*! Thank God I still have some restraint left in me. Who would have thought right?!

My sister was a bit disappointed that they did not sing Fame in the movie but I thought it was alright. The songs they plugged in were good. Fame is a tad bit dated and no amount of revision will make it up to date. Sadly. It's still my favorite Videoke song though. :)

A part of the movie struck me the most though. That part where one of the characters defined success. Success is to love what you are doing, who you are working with, knowing that you are making a difference, an impact in other people's lives. To love what you do to the point that you fly out of the door to do what you do. This thought led me to introspection. I had to ask myself if I love what I do. Actually, I do but due to some personal issues, what I do seems to have taken a backseat but starting tomorrow, I am rekindling the passion. I love it that I can touch people's lives. I love it that they acknowledge that too. I forgot to post here, I got the 2008 Students Search for Outstanding Teacher. *beams* I was not expecting this at all... Apparently, if you give what you do so much love, the love comes back. I hope I am still as good as they expect me to be, lately, I have not been giving a hundred percent of me. I have been distracted and it sucks that some parts of my professional life has to suffer. It has got to stop tomorrow.

I was discussing stress in one of the nonacademic classes ( I always have three and then I get two sections of academic load) my schedule is more manageable this way plus I really enjoy these nonacad classes. Anyway, I was discussing stress and one of my students wrote something that for me is a cry for help. This is not the first time this has happened though. I will talk to her very soon.

On the brighter side of things, I took a side trip to Hush Puppies and purchased comfy but cute pair of black heels that I can wear to class. They're not the super glam type but hey, they are comfy. I think I can stroll around the mall in them. Yup, that comfy! :) I will still get my Esprit shoes repaired because I really love them and they are still in pristine condition. I gave them to my mom first for safe keeping. :)

I know these past few days I have been asking about meaning and existence. I have decided to make it more simple for me. I have decided to make my own bucket list. I think we all should make one. This way, I know I cannot hit the bucket yet because i have not done the following yet.

1. See my grandchildren and regale them of stories of my past
2. Go to France and really experience romance.
3. Explore beaches.
4. Join Amazing Race Asia *haha!* like they'd take me! Hey, this is my bucket list let me be with my imagination.
5. Go on an African Safari.
6. Go to Russia.

This is all I have for now. Will add more next time.

This bucket list made me smile a big smile this week. Frankl is right, future makes you want to live in the here and now, now matter how dreary it may be. I am exaggerating of course, my here and now is not as dreary as the others but I have definitely been better. Still, in this world, all things come to pass. This too, will come to pass. In the meantime, I have my bucket list to hold on to.

Random Rants and Raves

I am still in the middle of my work day but I find a need to blog as I am overcome with nostalgia for my younger years. Oh, how I wish I can turn back time so I can enjoy my youth. I am not even thirty yet and hear me talk much about regret. I wonder if I am where the Lord wants me to be. I wonder if all that has happened are things He really wants me to go though. If this is still all tapestry of His great plan.

This morning, I was a bit frustrated because the other morning when I presented to my class the topic on pointers I really thought (because they were so convincing) that they really understand pointers already. Lo, and behold, this morning I gave them a very easy exam and a lot of them did poorly. *wah!* I had to explain again this morning. I gave them assignments and exercises that they can sink their teeth into. I am hoping they will really try to practice. I am still hopeful. I find pointers very fun! I hope that they will also be able to appreciate them. I mean they are intimidating at first but eventually, when they get the hang of it, I am sure they will do great!

Since the typhoon, i have been fixated to Facebook. I keep on checking for updates. You cannot blame me, it can really get you hooked, why with all the videos people are sharing that are sometimes funny, amusing or tear-inducing... I remember the You Can Let Go Now Daddy video. That almost made me cry. I have also tried Farm Town, it was fun for a few days but now it has gotten old. I am not playing Fashion Wars anymore as I find it boring now. I am glad too because I have not been doing a lot of productive work since then.

I better start reading one of the papers in my PhD class. I got a 4.0 on my first paper. Which does not matter much because I am an auditing student *haha!*. Still, it makes me happy! I'm soh shallow!!! :)

I also got in touch with one of my friends today. It was so nice to hear from her after such a long time! I hope we can have a nice long chat because I have so much to tell her and so many pictures to share as well. *sinister laugh*

My favorite Esprit shoes quit on me today. I am hoping I can still get them fixed because I love, love them. I remember when I first saw them in Hong Kong, I just could not leave without them. I think I had to borrow from my little sister just so I can afford them *haha!*. I was running out of cash and I did not want to change my dollars anymore. :) I really have to get them fixed. It's a good thing, my ridiculously priced heels are here in my cubicle and they did not get wet when the university was flooded. The flood did not get into my cubicle thank goodness and very nice people placed the stuff on our desks.

Thank you so much for saving my stuff! :)

This is all for now...

I know I keep on saying goodbye but I just remembered... I am excited about something tonight! I am watching Fame tonight *yey*!!! :)

Questions

i have read some of my entries from the past and I just realized how sloppy my blogs have become. I used to really pause for a while and organize my thoughts, now I just rant and rave without thinking about structure. I really must fix this problem.

I took a trip down memory lane and it is quite surprising how things really do not end up as one plans. Sometimes we feel like we know what is in store and yet years later, you find out that all there was was an illusion. Is the illusion of a future but an incentive for us to keep on trudging on to the unknown? I know you might say I am still not over Frankl but it really makes me think. Did I convince myself to conjure up all those thoughts just so I can march on to what they call "future"? Did I sabotage my own future because of this illusion? Was it then that I had an illusion or is it now? Did I sabotage my future then or am I sabotaging it now? Such are my questions. i do not have answers and I will not even pretend to know the answers. Reading my past blogs made me realize how useless it is to pretend to have answers when we really do not have an idea what they are.

In the meantime, I have my here and now and so I shall focus on this. I know that the Lord's hands will hold me and He will never let go no matter how much I try to evade His love for me.

Good night everyone! I still have five hours to sleep. I hope the Sandman visits me as soon as I close my eyes.

What About Love

Why is it that when we see the hero and heroine in love stories they barely talk? I mean they do talk but they do not have conversations beyond "date" conversations. The characters get to know each other by finding out about their likes, dislikes, their past, what they want in their future but after they have exhausted all these topics the story ends.

What happens after?

What do they talk about then?

I ask because I also do not know. Do they talk about the daily humdrum of life? Do they talk about happened to their respective days?And then do they sleep and wake up the next morning and go through it again? After that, what next?

What is there beyond that? Of course, you can build a family, but what of those who cannot have kids?

It makes me wonder what there is beyond all this? Do you not after a while become tired of this? What keeps monotony at bay?

Where is the meaning in all of this?

Man's Search for Meaning is screwing with my thoughts again. I better prepare for tomorrow.

Meaning

Yesterday was like the first day of classes all over again! My day was kind of hectic but I had a nice evening. It was a wonderful surprise. I actually got a first peek at one of my friends' big decision and it was flattering that I was the first to see! :)

I am happy to have been back, the last few days have been kind of depressing. i realized that much of my meaning is attached to my work and that made me feel a tad bit melancholy. I mean, is this all there is to it? I try to get my PhD, I try to write papers, I teach, what else is there?

This brings to mind Viktor Frankl and logotherapy. I need to find my meaning. I need to see my future. I have an idea of what kind of future I want but the future is unsettled, obscure and vague and right now I want something real to hold on to.

Just a thought.

I mean really... what am I here for?

Trying hard not to break into that Avenue Q song. *smiles*

Pizz-a Be With You

After hearing mass we went straight to MOA for dinner. Please do not ask me what I did all day because everything is a blur. I was too busy napping. :) Anyway, we went to Joey Pepperoni as per my sister's request. It was my first time there. I am kind of disappointed.

Firstly, the food is not as Italian as I had expected. The food was adjusted to fit the palate of the Filipino. The spaghetti bolognese was sweetened, it actually reminded me of the spaghetti served at our high school canteen. My two siblings opted for Pasta All You Can. You can choose from three types of sauces, meat sauce, pesto and alfredo (?). I opted for Chicken Parmiagna and it took them forever to serve it. I was soh hungry already so it was good that The Works pizza came already. The Parmiagna is not that impressive either.

The service was slow and poor. There were many times when they made mistakes like when they gave my brother's order to another person, they gave me Carbonara instead of the bill that I have requested for among them.

I hope they will improve their service. In the meantime, it might take a while before I go there again.

Another friend of mine at another one of their branches and was disappointed too. At least they're consistent.

Wedding - Pepeng

Pepeng did not hit Manila thank goodness!

The wedding of my friend pushed through. They had it at Saint Peter the Apostle Parish beside the school that my first ex attended *haha*! It was actually my first time there. The homily was okay though one of my colleagues thinks that the priest should have focused more on the bride and not on the French groom. This was actually fine by me, what shocked me was when the priest during consecration stopped for more than five seconds to say, "you were asked to kneel, not to sit". I felt bad because there might be people there who had bad cases of arthritis, also there were people there who might be Protestant (because the groom is Protestant). He, unfortunately, did not stop there, he also said,"If you cannot respect the customs of our Church, please get out.". I understand why he might be offended. The consecration is the most important part of the mass. This is the part where the transfiguration takes place, where the wine becomes the Blood of Christ and the bread becomes the Body of Christ. I am just disappointed because he could have said it in a nicer way. I am sure getting angry is alright. Even Jesus got angry at the merchants but I am sure before He got mad He considered so many things... Oh well... I was embarrassed for a while. We should be embracing these people who come to our Church even if they are of a different religion. I mean, it should be taken as an opportunity to show them how we do things. *yikes*

After this, we went to Dezaato Pan at MOA because reception was not until 7 in the evening and it was only past three when the ceremony ended. I had Choco Otaku which my friends liked! One of my colleagues said he was going to bring his girlfriend to that place because he loved it. After Dezaato Pan and so much laughter, courtesy of the wackiest couple that I know, we went to Time Zone and played basketball! I think I am improving, last time I was there I scored only 23 but yesterday I scored a whopping 44 points! I was only three points short of getting at tie with the best player that I know! *woot*

I also got to play Dance Maniacs with one of our youngest faculty members *haha*! I hope nobody would post that on YouTube. Somebody got it on video!!!

After TimeZone, we had to rush to Century Park Hotel where the reception was. I was the emcee so they dropped me off first. I was so nervous I had to drink red wine to calm my nerves and loosen my tongue(works every time). I think things went well! I had fun being an emcee as well. Afterwards, we still had so much supply of adrenaline and so we proceeded to the Cavern KTV and we spent three more hours singing/howling there! It was really fun! I hope the cellphones of those who took videos will never get lost! *haha!*

Another interesting thing, the bride joined us in her wedding gown! You do not see that everyday! :)

I was soooh tired when I went home but I could not sleep until three in the morning so I spent all day today trying to regain my energy!

It was a good wedding!

Paper Hangover

Whew!

I am finally done with my paper! I have to read it again to make sure that I am really making sense but i have to read it another time so I can have a more different way of looking at it. I really liked the article by Frijda on Laws of Emotions because I really think that these Laws apply for me. I have also read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy and their ideas really match. Even the book of Stephen Covey called Seven Habits of Highly Effective People essentially say almost the same thing. I like it that Frijda though she said that these laws are mechanisms for us to feel emotions, we can choose to be above them by using our imagination. This was seconded by Covey when he said that the only thing that separates us from animals is our imagination and consciousness. Our ability to react differently from what nature dictates to us is the natural reaction. Frankl also mentioned this; At the end of the day, when you are naked and humiliated, what you have left to live for is simply your future. Future of course may be in the form a sweetheart, a book waiting to be published or just freedom. Regardless, it is something that you look forward to, something you live for to experience. This brings to mind what my brother said years ago, he said, if you want to make a man unhappy, give the man all that he dreams of. It may be true, for after you get all you dream of, what else have you to live for. Perhaps this is the reason why human is programmed to keep on wanting more, most of the time to a fault. If we stop wanting, we just might have nothing to live for.

Another point that was raised is the fact that there is what is called Hedonic Asymmetry. This says that joy is not felt as long as sorrow is felt. When you feel liberty after years of captivity, the length of time that you will experience joy because of freedom is not as long as you have experienced anguish and sorrow in prison. This is a bit sad, however Frijda said, humans are not programmed to be happy but rather they are programmed for survival.

Another sad thing I got from Frijda is that we will succumb to habituation. This is the reason why love loses its magic. We get used to the feeling that it is no longer exciting anymore. Love is then taken for granted. This however, is the reason why we feel numb after being shown certain things we cannot stomach before. This was how the holocaust victims were able to survive their horrendous experiences during the war. This is, unfortunately, also the reason why the soldiers were able to nonchalantly torture and kill innocent people. This disturbed them at first but eventually, they get used to it. This is the sad way humans have been programmed so that humans may survive. Frijda, noted that we can rise above this by imagining how it was before. This however is unnatural and requires a great deal of conscious effort.

Schadenfreude was also mentioned in the paper of Frijda as an emotion. This was mentioned in Avenue Q as joy in other people's misery. Humans are also plagued by the Law of Comparison. We compare our situation with others and if they are better off we feel bad about ourselves. This seems to say that we are doomed to be unhappy species. It seems that we have been programmed to be sad.

I do not have a Psychology background. These are just some of the things that I have read. It saddens me that this is how we seemed to have been programmed. As much as I would like to say I am above these laws. I feel that most of the laws apply to me. I am not above them. Sadly too, there are moments in my life when I did not even try to rise above these laws.

I realize tonight that I am, while I have ineffable freedom, enslaved by the basic instinct of my psyche. How sad.

On the brighter side of things:

They say Pepeng already changed course and may leave earlier than predicted. *yey!* Please do leave and do not come back.

Another Typhoon!

After Ondoy, another typhoon is set to hit us. Tomorrow is my friend's wedding, I hope it changes its course otherwise, it will be such a hassle to everyone. She has people from Europe coming over, she even has a friend who came from Singapore just to be my co-emcee! It will be unfortunate if the wedding won't push through tomorrow but more than the wedding, there are still so many people who are rendered homeless because of Ondoy.

We have not recovered from Ondoy, I really hope and pray that Pepeng will change its course. There are still places that are still submerged, houses that cannot be inhabited because of the mud, dirt and water. Some of the streets are still impassable and if this typhoon is as strong as they say, I pray that it never really hits the Philippines. Too many people are suffering.

Please Lord, let the typhoon change its course.

Fun Day

Today may not have been so productive but I had a lot of fun!

Half of the day was spent sleeping *thwaps self*. I know I can be such a sloth when there are no classes. Afterwards, I checked my mail and I found out I had to write some things about all that kept us busy last week for our website. I was able to do all the write ups save for one because I need input from another member of the team.

After finishing, I took a bath. *hehe* I know, I do not like taking a bath right after waking up. I'm too lazy even to take a bath! Very bad! Anyway, after taking a bath I decided to check on my shoes that I have left on the floor of my cubicle because they were my teaching shoes. I bought them for an unreasonable price and I could not imagine them floating on flood water hehe... Good thing someone lifted all the things to higher places so they were not damaged at all. They are in pristine condition and I plan not to leave them on the ground again. :)

After getting the invitation for the wedding of my friend, my friends decided to eat out. I came along and I told them we could eat at Kalye Juan. They wanted what I had which is Bangusilog. Some of them even tried my salted egg with tomatoes! :) I am not sure if they were happy with their food though.

We decided to have dessert after. One of my colleagues asked us to have ice cream and so we did. I owed one of my friends an ice cream for a favor he gave me so I treated him. After eating, since this was very near an arcade place we decided to play! We got to play basketball, dance maniacs, the punching bag thing, even the one peso coin machines where you drop a peso and the one peso slides off. We also tried the machine that grabs stuffed toys. That was fun too... we got nothing haha! I also had a round of air hockey! I lost... Boo! I do not always lose. Maybe it was my bag and because the person I was playing with cheated and got first blood! :)

Still... I had so much fun! Hope we can do that again some time!

Weird

I have not taken a bath. For those who know me. I am a bit lazy to take a bath when there is no place to go to anyway much to the demise of those who want me to go to work! Haha!

I have been busy all day though because I had to finish some write-ups for the visits of the Professors, the workshops and all, basically all that kept us busy last week. So aside from Facebook from time to time (I am becoming dependent, very bad!), it was all i got to do. That and watch the contraband version of The Ugly Truth! The movie is still making me soh giddy! I love the movie! *sigh* Super chick flick! I hope my friend would watch it too so we can be super giddy together!

I have to start preparing for the emcee stint. I have emailed my co-emcee, I hope we will be able to wing it! I cannot wait for the day I just really hope I can fit into my dress!

This is all i have to write so far maybe I will write again later. :) BTW, got my Gap the other night for a road test, I think I should have gotten a pair in a smaller size, Gap's sizes are way too big really... Is that done on purpose so I would feel good about myself?! Last night, while checking out a pair of Aldo shoes, I realized I am not a 38 but a 37. All my life, I have been buying 38 shoes and last night, I was clearly a 37! Tried on a pair of Zara shoes and even there I am a 37. Can my feet shrink?! Super weird!!!

Ciao!

Mall Hopping

I spent the whole day yesterday inside the house, monitoring all the activities on Facebook and reading papers for my PhD class. When nighttime fell, I prepared for the dinner with my friends with my friend's new husband and groom (for the third time), her in-laws and family members. The dinner started pretty late so it ended late as well. No matter, we had good food and good company and I got myself some scoop that I can dish out when I do my emcee stint at their reception. I hope I do not get the details of their respective stories mixed up!

I have been doing this a lot lately. It feels like all my thoughts are scattered in different places, disorganized like most of my things. My clutter is creeping up into my brain as well. Or is my clutter merely a reflection of my thoughts? Wait a minute, I am sounding like some of the papers that I am reading. Must stop now.

Today, I got to spend part of my day with my mom and sister. Today (or so we thought) was the last day of the Citibank promo where we exchange our charge slips for movies! So, we went to MOA again to watch a movie. We opted for The Ugly Truth. I love, love, love this movie. It was so funny we were all laughing and for some, howling already because of their witty lines. I also liked the story, I was all giddy still minutes after the movie ended.

Right after the movie, I had to rush to Makati to meet up with my friends. Tonight was the despedida of a batchmate of mine who was going to Japan for his PhD. They also saw a movie but they opted to see Surrogates. Instead of watching that, I decided to just catch a chick flick and then join them for dinner. As it turns out, the Surrogates was not that great. My mom already told me it was not good so I am soh glad I got to see Butler and his sexy self in one of the funniest movies I have seen to date.

I will definitely watch it again on DVD with my sister. Another highlight of the movie was the trailer part *haha*! Yup! Michael Jackson's This Is It got us all super, duper excited!!! We already have tickets... Oh yeah I have told you about that already! We plan to watch it again and have inquired already. They will be showing this only for two weeks! We plan to get more tickets via Citibank, they are going to allow us to claim tickets until November! *yey*

When I got to Makati I still had time to stroll around GB5. I got to try on shoes, almost bought a pair of 4-inch heels! Thank goodness they did not have my size! *haha!* I felt tired after trying them on! I just had them for less than a minute! I cannot imagine being an emcee all night in them! I also got to visit the new Fully Booked at the basement of GB5. It's a charming place. I got my colleague a journal that he can use for when he goes to Japan. I am a sucker for notebooks!

When I met up with my friends they were at Time Zone and they got me to try out some arcade games! :) It was really fun hanging out with them. Afterwards, we ate at Bubba Gump's where I got to order Bourbon Street Mahi Mahi. The guys went for the Baby Back Ribs and then we had my colleagues fave dessert. While there it almost felt like we were cast of How I Met Your Mother! :)

I told them I should be Robin, but they are arguing that I am more of a Lily. *boo!* I want to be the Robin! :)

Just a side story, on my way to GB, the taxi driver of the cab I was riding was flagged down by a traffic enforcer. He was not given a ticket instead, the traffic enforcer in Makati asked for money. They got a hundred bucks off this poor driver. I cannot believe they choose to do this after a big tragedy has befallen us. *sigh* I gave the driver an extra hundred to compensate for what the enforcer got from him. When he was pulled over, the driver politely asked why he was asked to do so, and then the enforcer started yelling at him. I think something should be done bout this Mayor Binay. You tell people what a good job you have been doing at Makati and yet the traffic enforcers are like this. My taxi was not the only one that was asked to pull over, during the short time we were asked to stop, there were four other cabs that were asked to pull over as well. Shame on them really. Shame.

This Is It

I cannot believe I have forgotten to mention this on my blog!!!

Yesterday, my sister, mom and I bought tickets already for Michael Jackson's This Is It! I am so thrilled! Counting the days when we can finally watch! People have started buying the tickets! We got ours for free thanks to Citibank! *woot!*

As a side note: The university has not announced yet if there will be no classes 'til Saturday so we are still waiting for announcements.

Lately

No classes again today. This means I do not have to finish my paper 'til next week but because I want to finish anyway, I will try to finish the paper today *really hopeful haha*.

I have dinner tonight with friends since one of them will be getting married. I am the emcee and my program is not ready yet, good luck to me! I will have a co-emcee but he won't be here 'til two days before the wedding *haha!*! I am sure we'll be able to pull it off. To make matters even more interesting, the groom is French and I hope I can pronounce all the names correctly.

To top it all off, I am being asked to sing a song well, a duet with one of my colleagues! I know this other guy could sing, no doubt about that but the thing is... I can't! I will be so high strung I don't think I will be able to carry a tune so I hope they will change their minds soon.

I got to do grocery shopping by bulk yesterday with mom and sis. My sister had a stroke of genius and decided to help out. I was planning to do it when classes resume but she could not wait, which I really, really admire. So we headed off to the grocery store and delivered at DLSU. I was amazed by how many students were there and my the many donations they have amassed. Amazing!

Today, I got a phone call informing me about a network job for Red Cross. I am still waiting for further instructions. I am more than willing to help, I hope I will be able to deliver though. :) It has been a while though so I am wondering if things are going to push through still. It's in Ortigas and that's a bit far for me but if they found Network guys already that's fine by me too. In any case I am all set and ready to go.

There have been some announcements that classes might not resume until next week. I am not sure if this is true at all. But if it is, that means we will have to pay for this during the term. This means we will have to rush second term again and have all those make-up classes on days when we are not supposed to have classes. Oh well... This is all for the better though.

I am touched by my friends whom I have not heard from for so long who have contacted me just to see if I am alright.

Thanks! :)

I hope all the others who are affected are now finding their way to recovery. I am happy to see soh many people reach out... Seriously, there are just soh many of them! Filipinos are really amazing!

Aftermath

The rain has been non-stop but I am relieved that the it has stopped pouring. I am a bit nervous though because they say another two will follow suit. I hope, the storms will change their route.

I would like to request everyone to offer a prayer to those who perished and the families who were left behind. One of my students' mom and aunt were trapped inside their house in Marikina. I was told by my brother that the flood water in Marikina went up to 12 feet in 5 minutes time and so people did not have time to save themselves.

I think it's because of the water they released from the dam. I hope they realize that what they did was wrong. They could have released water days before this happened. I think it was really irresponsible of them to have done that. Many people died and I hope that there will be investigations regarding this.

Our village was flooded too, it got into the house but thankfully, it got only up to the first step of the stairs. The cars were jacked by my supermom so the water did not get t them and aside from the treadmill that got wet, everything else is fine. I was praying for the rain to stop and so were my other students and am just glad the rain stopped.

Thank You Lord because you made the rain stop. I pray Lord that You will help us rebuild everything. May we use this as an opportunity to spread the love.

Thank You.

Plead

I had to in the house today all day because it was really pouring outside. It has not stopped raining yet and a lot of people are suffering. I hope that the rain would just stop. A lot of people are already asking for help.

Lord, please take care of all of them. Please make the rain stop. Spare us Lord as we already have so much to worry about. This country has suffered too much already.

I know You will not forsake us.

Thank You.

Art - eh!

Okay, last Thursday I did not log in at all because I felt so exhausted from all the activities that I have been doing for the past two weeks. I got to go to the hospital though and then came home but after a while, my sister asked me to accompany her to Makati to get a pair of shoes. We ate at Sizzling Pepper Steak, I do not know if she liked it or not but she did not finish the beef so, maybe not. I think she was turned off by the cooking part. :)

After strolling for a bit at National Bookstore, we went home and then I rested again.

It was also Thursday that I finished reading Like Water for Chocolate. OMG, the book is sooh good. It has now earned the next best fave book for me slot. I love The Little Prince and next to that will have to be Like Water for Chocolate. I love how it was written and how complicated the story was. It was not black or white. Everything was gray.

I was an emcee again yesterday so it was tiring but I got a reward after. We saw the first show of Spring Awakening and I thought it was great. I loved the songs. There were still some songs where the actors were off key but that's probably because it's their first show. They will get better. I still have questions in my head though like if what I saw was real or if it was Jell-O. It jiggled a lot. I was the only one who saw it. I think I had the best seat in the house! *haha*

It was like High School Musical only the theme is very disturbing *haha*! This was definitely a thousand times better than Fantastix! :)

I hope to see Avenue Q, a second time on March but first i have to see Sweeney Todd on Rep! Very, very excited about that too! :)

Good Morning World!

What do you know?!

I am ready to go and with time to spare! I am going to be an emcee today so I have to really be early. I slept very late last night doing what nots and what have yous and I did not think I will be able to wake up early. Somehow my brain was still conscious because it realized I had to wake up.

Today is the big day. Gosh, I hope what I will be presenting is okay. I do not want to displease the heads of the labs in Osaka *hehe*. I am still thinking if I should finally go. Here, it's so comfortable and happy, there it's cold and unknown.

We will have to see.

I have a feeling that today's gonna be a good, good day! *bad case of LSS lyrics are all wrong hehe*

A Day In The Life

I should really be sleeping already but I just have to detox. I got to talk at the symposium today. I think it went well... Only, I had to rush after the talk to get the handouts for my class and then proceed to my class. I was already a few minutes late for it because the symposium started late in the afternoon. I love, love, my new MacBook Pro, I bring it everywhere now. Only I still do not have the VGA adaptor that I need so I borrowed a colleague's. It was out of stock over at MOA. I presented using my Mac and using Keynote. I am still feeling my way through Keynote but I think it's fairly easy. Of course, I still think I should have just gotten the Office for Mac. *thwaps self*

After my class I had to rush for the Emotional Development class. Yes, that class that I had to write a paper for last night! I had fun. The class is very relaxed. It's nice to have different classmates from a different field for a change. They think so differently and so we have different ideas floating in the room! :) I also love our teacher. She speaks so well and I love how she elicits reactions from students. Only, I have to read tons and I mean tons of paper. The last time I photocopied the materials that I needed to read, I had a hard time carrying all of them also, what I paid to the photocopy lady was the most amount I have ever paid for, for photocopy. :) Still, I think it's interesting. I am also an audit student so I do not get a grade for this. I am not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing but I am done with my course work and so what can I do?

By the time my day was done, I was pooped but I had to prepare for my emcee job for tomorrow's workshop. I also had to prepare my presentation also for the workshop. Will I be introducing myself since I am the emcee too?! Speaking of! I still do not have an opening prayer... I will write it tomorrow morning. Must remember.

I just finished with my presentation and I hope things will go well tomorrow. The Japanese profs will be there so I must not mess up! *yikes!!!*

This is all for now... I know life can be so boring...

On a brighter note, a friend of mine is getting married and I am going to be one of the emcees at her wedding. Gosh, I hope I will not look like a pink hippo in my dress. I am also being asked to sing! *Aggghh!!!* I am hoping that will not happen! I started shaking the moment I was asked *haha!*. It did not help that I was asked a few moments before my presentation earlier! I am excited nonetheless!

A colleague of mine will be leaving for Japan soon too so we are planning to go to a bar ala How I Met Your Mother *haha!*. I have a feeling we will end up at Starbucks! *haha* We're also watching Spring Awakening soon! I have seen some of the songs on YouTube and I am very, very excited! :)

Before those though, I have to face tomorrow and my presentation and Friday where I will again be the emcee for another symposium. It's a good thing I have a few dresses and a few shoes in stock or else... My black stiletto died on me already so I am forced to play with my colorful pumps in the meantime until I find black shoes that I will fall in love with.

What a mouthful. It almost seems my day was exciting. :)

I have other exciting news not fit for posting yet because word has not gotten around yet. I do not want to be the publisher but will definitely share it next time! *thrilled*

Done!

Whew!

Finally done with my paper. Might add things tomorrow if things come to me still. I have to do a lot of things tomorrow, I hope I will remember to do them.

Not So Psyched!

I thought Psychology was easy. It's not. I'm taking Emotional Development right now and I am not finding it easy. Sure it is interesting but it is also very challenging. I am still doing my assignment. I have just gotten peace and quiet and hopefully, I can finish in a while. Thank goodness I am done doing my presentation for tomorrow. *yikes*

This week is a bit challenging but we are all hoping that next week, it will be better. Save for the make-up classes that await me for calling off the classes this week. Which reminds me I need to make a pink form for my students on Wednesday.

Counting Blessings

Sooh glaad that my students are done with the bar code system. At least we have something to show the Jap professors.

I am also done with one presentation. I will worry about the other one tomorrow. For now, I have to do my PhD assignment. I have four papers to read. The other one, I have not even seen yet. *yikes!*

GTG! :)

Procrastination at its Worst

I need to write a presentation and my brain does not seem to be working. I think I will just do it tomorrow. I will have to go to school tomorrow anyway. I need to supervise my group.

Hm... Will have to really finish before evening, there might be a dinner tomorrow night with the the Japanese professors. Gosh I am too lazy. I will try to finish at least one presentation tonight. How hard is this?

I am just being lazy. :)

Movies!

Last Wednesday, my sister, my mom and myself went on a movie date. We went and saw In My Life and we all loved it. Okay, Luis Manzano's acting is not yet at par with that of John Lloyd's but it was a good first. :)

The story was more about the lover of the son of Vilma and Vilma. The story had its surprises which delighted me. Normally, when you see a movie, you more or less know already what is going to happen. I think the best scene of the movie was that of JL and Vilma. It was brilliant! There were a lot of comic scenes as well that made me laugh 'til I was in tears! I think this movie is worth watching in the theaters! I cannot divulge more details because I might spoil it for you. I hope the Filipino cinema industry will make more movies that are worthwhile.

Another movie I enjoyed a few weeks ago was Kimmy Dora. It was really, really funny! In fact, until now, I still laugh when I think about the movie. Yup, it's that good. I really cried from laughing! :) I love watching movies with my sister because she laughs as hard as I do and it just feels soh good to laugh!

I also got to see Up. This movie was beautiful. I loved the love story between the old couple. I loved how they met when they were young and they got married and grew old together. The movie was also funny but more than that I thought it was romantic. *awww...*

I saw Time Traveler's Wife with my mom and brother. My sister was working on a project then. A funny story while we were waiting for the movie to start is this. There were two unattended pieces of luggage and this made me panic. :) So I went to tell the guard. The guard just went up and asked the seatmate of the owners of the luggage. Note that the seatmate do not know the owners, they said they just went down to go to the restrooms. Just like that, the guard left without bringing the suitcases with him. My mom went to check the comfort room and when she found no one there, she informed us. I was of course alarmed. A few moments later, the owners arrived and I was a bit relieved. One of them brought down the suitcases and that made me feel more relieved. But. He came back again with the suitcases. During the movie, there were beeping sounds that I was hearing which made me jump every now and then. Later on it turns out it was a phone of the person seated behind me. I think I would have enjoyed the movie more if I was not as anxious. I am reading the book right now. :)

I just realized, I am not used to writing on my blog so much anymore. I feel tired.

BTW, I have been watching movies for free thanks to CitiBank! :)

Shopping with Sis!

Last night, I got to go out with my sister. It's amazing how I can go shopping with her now. Often she gets to buy more *haha*! I love going on food trips with her and just laughing at almost anything. From the odd clothes that we see, to really mundane observations! I really had a great time last night!

I also got to buy a new pair of jeans! Love, love GAP jeans! I might stick to GAP from now on. I love how they fit and how they feel on my skin! I should have known all this time. Grab is okay but the fit is not that great on me. :) Plains and Prints were on sale too so I got myself two tops! Yey! I especially love the other top that I got, it's so different from what I usually buy and even my sister loves it so... :) It has to be good!

I am still struggling to lose all the weight and all the lower ab flab but I think I am doing better. Planning to go back to swimming again (when will I stop planning and actually start doing?).

I also got two books from Powerbooks because they were on sale! *woot!* I got Wicked and Son of a Witch! Can't wait to read them.

I just finished Leonardo da Vinci by Freud, a book I borrowed from the library. It's very interesting. I am amazed by the thoughts they can conjure up given just a few lines from Da Vinci's notebook, describing his dream about a bird! :) I was reading Time Traveler's Wife but I have not continued in a while. It's my brother's copy (that he borrowed) and I haven't snatched it away yet. :) I also want to read Like Water is to Chocolate. Maybe I will read that first. :) Janine has been asking me to read it forever. Maybe I will read it finally!

Janine went food tripping at Dezaato Pan! They offer really interesting stuff there! I especially loved Choco Otaku. I love the cookie on top of the bread and then the liquid chocolate in the core of the bread. The cakes were okay too though I did not like the Japanese cheesecake. It had more flour than cheese. I still think my mom's cheesecake is the best in the whole wide world!!!

Next week will be crazy so I plan to take it slow today. :) Unless of course, I run out of things to do then I will work.

All for now!

Loong Day

It seems to me I have been blogging more here than in my other blog. No muse for my other blog. It has been a while since I have experimented on something. I have been too busy. This week was no exception.

I had to write a paper this week, while it was only the first week of the term, it has been very hectic already because of the symposium that is to happen next week. In fact, this long weekend is not going to be a long weekend for me because I have to go to the first day of the symposium. My group still has to finish a module hopefully they can do it on Saturday. They will have to demonstrate by Monday afternoon. I hope they will be able to make it work.

Today, I was also the emcee for the faculty orientation. It was interesting that Lence was there. Apparently he was doing his Masters before he moved to Intel. Now, he is doing his thesis while teaching part-time. Today was a rather long day. I had to listen to talks I already knew about and was not particularly interested in... Except for the talk of Br. Armin which I found very inspiring and the talk of the student from the student council which also pulled a heartstring. :)

I am annoyed that I am gaining weight again... Rapidly! I did not get to run for three weeks since the visit to the derma. Which reminds me I was supposed to go back this week but I was too darn busy. I will be super busy again next week. With the four papers I have to read for PhD class and the emcee jobs I have to do for two workshops for the conference. I have two oral presentations, also next week. In between all these, I do not know how I will catch my breath!

I hope everything will go well next week. Speaking of oral presentation. Maybe it is high time I begin writing the presentations.

I will not be meeting my COMPRO2 classes next week. *sad* I hope they are practicing and reading at home though.

This is all for now! I think I will take a nap first.

*sigh*

Today was really hard for me.

I hope it will get better.

Psyched!

Today, I am supposed to be cramming but am not. :)

Very bad. I still do not have the results to my experiment, I have nothing new to add to my paper and I feel very lost.

On the brighter side of things, I got to attend my first ever PhD class today dealing not with CS but with Psych! Totally different environment and teaching style! I am kind of scared because I do not know how I will do in the course because it's really a different discipline but I have a feeling that I will learn a lot. I already have a long reading list and I do not know how I am going to juggle all the things I need to do and reading but I hope I will be able to manage. I am just auditing so I guess I should not worry too much. :)

This is the second course I am auditing. Fun!!!

I discovered something nice today.

Before the Clock Strikes Twelve

It is currently 11pm in the evening and am trying struggling to write a paper for the upcoming symposium we are about to have. *yikes!* My work shrinks to lilliputian proportions compared to the papers I have already read. I wonder if it is even worth publishing. My adviser is prodding me to go publish it but really now... Is it worth anything?!

Experiment is still running on Mac. I let my Vaio rest for today. I am thinking if I should just leave it running in one of the servers at our lab. Maybe that is what I will do tomorrow since I only have one class. *woot!* Wonder what my schedule for my audit class in PhD would be? I know it does not sound so appealing that I am still taking audit classes even though I am supposed to be done with course work but you know what? It's fun! Especially since this term I will get to take up emotion theory. Someday, if I still have enough brain cells left, I might take up Psychology. I want to start my own preschool someday...

How dreams change. I used to want to be a newscaster, a theater actor, now I want to be a preschool teacher?! *haha* do not get me wrong though, have not given up on acting and broadcasting. Maybe on the radio. Who knows... For now, I have this PhD to deal with *haha* Should I put my life on hold?

A part of me is regretting not going to Osaka when I was given the offer. Maybe I need time away from all the teaching so I can get my PhD done. Hmm... I still do not have the data so I really have to stay for now.

First day of classes was great. I have the same set of students in one class and a new set in another. My new PERSEF class is from ECE and I think they are all nice. They have very high expectations and I hope I can meet them. They're fun but I can tell they take everything seriously. Something, very rare in kids nowadays. OMG, am talking like an adult! *help*

The Japanese professors are coming this Friday and so on Saturday, the lab is planning to make a day trip to Tagaytay. Wonder if it will be fun to go... Thinking about it because the whole Friday I will be an emcee to an orientation. *boo* I used to enjoy these things but now, they're not so fun anymore... I would much rather sleep in. *haha sloth!*

I have to get back to reading papers I can only hope to produce someday.

Going back...

I have decided to remove the Shout Out box because people were posting things that may offend others. If you need to leave a message, do so by posting comments.

It has been a long while since I have posted something here... I kind of miss just typing away and contributing to the nonsense in the virtual world. Anyhoo... I am going through something right now and I hope that it will come to pass as all things that are difficult to deal with.

On the brighter side of things, I now have a MacBook Pro yey! I know I used to not like the idea of owning a Mac because the software is very expensive and everything I felt, was eye-candy... Software is still expensive and it still offers so much eye-candy my sugar level shoots up but it's also a sleek machine. I can run my experiments on it and it just gives me performance. I have not moved from my current Vaio to my Mac yet because my iWorks have not arrived yet from mail. I think I might have made a boo boo getting iWorks when there is Office for Mac. Darn it. But iWorks looks so cute. I found out that Numbers is not as powerful as Excel. I will have to find out first. Push comes to shove, I have to just get Office for Mac. Darn! Oh well, I have to chalk it up to experience and charge it to my card! Boo!!!

There's a big symposium (for our lab anyway!) so I will be very busy again! Term break started last Tuesday and ended last Tuesday because I have to start working on my experiments and paper again! :) Fun, fun, fun! Don't get me wrong, I am really having fun! As in, the time of my life! The laboratory has been renovated and it now looks more like a research lab! *woot!*

My dad got back from Saudi and got me a really fab Gucci bag! Picture later! :) *woot!* I love it, I carry it around everywhere, except when it's raining, then I carry my Coach bag, the one that I got from Thailand in my last trip. The shantung is not the best choice as it gets worn out easily (well, the edges anyway). I rarely use my Louis Vuittom because I feel overbagged(is there such a term?) when I use it hehe... I use it on special occassions or when I have to wear something formal. :)

Last term as a teacher was hard because I had to handle Computer Programming for the first time in soh long. We used a new method of teaching last term and we only had 18% failure rate and so we were very pleased. I hope this coming term will be as good!

I guess this is it for now, I have to get back to my paper hehe... Oh my... Experiment is running really slow on Vaio. :)

Oh yeah, planning to learn LaTex too. Shame on me, it has taken me forever to shift. :)

Happy day to everyone! :)

Live Simply, Simply Live

For the past four years I have stopped my spending journal. Something I have started some years ago after reading How To Live Simply by Bo Sanchez. I recall, it was during this time that I hardly made a purchase and even when I did I had to think it over several hundred times. That was then of course. Oh my, how much I have changed over the years.

Never has it occurred to me that I will lust after LV things. I'm fortunate that my dad gave me my LV fix but I have spent some moolah on other things that I could not have if I were only paying attention. I remember using my Presto until it looked really old and it did not bother me at all, or using my age old jeans and even that did not bother me at all... While I am happy with some of the changes I have gone through, I am not so happy with the materialistic monster I have become.

Slowly, I would like to make the 180 degree turn and try and live simply once more. Of course there are some things that will take a while to let go or maybe even never but at least I want to lessen my expenses. I want to re-learn practicality without being stingy.

I have read Bo Sanchez' book again and I have re-learned that people respect me not for the things I have but for who I am. I will never be happy unless I am happy now. Finally, there is more to life than material possessions. :) There's more but I have not finished the book yet.

A part of the book asked me to enumerate fifty things I am grateful for today. Why don't you do the same? It's a wonderful exercise. :)

Cheerful Worker

Since I got married, I see to it that my lunch is fish. Today, I wanted to have fried Bangus with gravy (Gross? I don't blame you but you have to try it to like it.). I could not help but notice the infectious cheerfulness and enthusiasm of the cook/salesman in the canteen. I was amazed because in that whole canteen, he was the happiest and yet he has the hardest job if you ask me. I mean he has too cook what we order on the spot so he is exposed to heat.

I hope I can be the cheerful worker that he is.

God bless him for making so many customers like us happy and for making us realize that we should find joy in what we do.

My One Term in Five Days

The last five days, we had our trimestral break.

I spent the last five days in a conference room from 9am to 5pm and the last five nights (more thant actually) staying up reading papers. I have lost sleep, and the chance to unwind during the break, and yet, I truly enjoyed. It seems that the break was longer than five days because I spent it learning new things.

In the process, I think I might have stumbled upon what I want to be my life's work. I might have found (with the help of our mentor) the topic I would like to work on for my dissertation. With only one more subject to go, I have to think about this already.

I was very inspired by the works that I have read about and the ideas shared in the conference room. Truly that class has to be the best class I have ever had in my entire PhD program. We will have to see if my last subject can outshine Emphatic Computing.

Perhaps it's because I have missed attending classes, I have stopped for two trimesters. Or maybe it's because this is really what I want to do. Though I did not get to rest at all during the break, I feel renewed. Eager to finish my tasks, eager to complete my requirements, eager to teach. I feel excited again about everyday.

I feel really, really good these days and I hope this will never end. :)

Returning to a Journey

As I packed my bag to return to my interrupted journey, I came across this quote:

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. -Marie Curie

I do not find it comforting to know that this came from a woman who died of cancer due to her experiments. I guess a reasonable amount of fear is enough for me.

I got this from the paper of R.W. Picard, who I would like to dub as (like I have every right to, but this is my blog so leave me be) the mother of affective computing.

As I go back to school (I have been an OSY for quite some time) and to make up for it, I am enrolling this term break to a weeklong PhD class that is equivalent to one trimester. We will be meeting eight hours a day for five days.

Fear can be good sometimes I think, it was fear that drove me to get all the papers that I have to synthesize (eight all in all, counting one masteral thesis from MIT) and all the papers that I have to review before our classes begin. *sigh*

Inspite all this, I cannot help but feel very excited. I am finally, going to be the student of one of the legendary teachers. He just finished his PhD in Japan and is now back for this week long course.

So fear or no fear, I must trudge on and finish what I have begun. Only two more subjects to go and off I go to the scary, land of no return, dissertation.

I have reached my cheesiness quota for the day. I must end this now.

Rants of a New Wife

I have been married for 17 days. Details of how I got married will soon be posted, among with the wedding preparation details at Getting There .

On the day of the wedding, I could not contain my excitement. I was my usual giddy self, yes, even in my gown. Underneath the layers and layers of Duchess Satin I was still the unruly me. Some of my relatives took notice but before they asked me to at least pretend to have a single bone of grace in my body, they remembered that it was after all my wedding day and I will be how I want to be no matter what. :D

To catch a glimpse of how I was on that day, here is our video.

It has been a bit difficult on my part, I'm sure it's hard on Vince too. We are now staying in Paranaque at Chateau Elysee and the conveniences of my life when I was still single are now gone. For one, I no longer have access to a multipoint heater when I bathe or wash my face. I also have to now worry about what breakfast we will have, at least before we got our refrigerator. Now, I am back to my Fitnesse breakfast. He now shares the same breakfast with me, as there is nothing else on the menu. We do not have a stove yet or a pot where we can boil water so I cannot have my regular dose of green tea.

These days, I have to adapt to his schedule. If before I can spend half a day sleeping, now I have to wake up as early as he does to take a bath and head for work. I feel like I am working for an office. *sigh* One of hte perks of teaching is getting to wake up really late!

We do not have cable nor Internet connection, we don't even have curtains!

I think the biggest move for me though is having to change my name. I mean, while some girls dream all their life of changing their last names, I never did that. I never thought of changing my name and now I have to. Well, legally speaking, I don't. In fact, there is no deadline for changing names after getting married but it is more convenient if I have at least one ID that says my last name is my husband's last name. Maybe my license is what I will use.

In spite all these adjustments that I have to make, I am grateful that I am doing all these so I can grow old with Vince. Everything worth doing takes time and effort, and I would like to think that this is indeed one of them.

Another Declamation Piece

I Demand Death
Anonymous
My hands are wet with blood. They are crimsoned with hte blood of a man I have just killed.

I have come here today to confess. I have committed murder, deliberate, premeditated murder. I have killed a man in cold blood. That man is my master.

I am here not to ask for pity but for justice simple, elemntary justice. I am a tenant... My father was a tenant before me and so was his father before him. This misery is my inheritance and perhaps this will be my legacy to my children.

I have labored on a patch of land not mine. But I have learned to love that land, for it is the only thing that lies between me and complete destitution.

It is the only world that I have learned to cherish. And somewhere on that land I have managed to build waht is now the dilapidated nipa shack that has been home to me.

I have but a few wordly possessions, mostly rags. My debts are heavy. They are sumtotal of my ignorance and the inspired arightmetic of my master, which I do not understand.

I labor lika slave and out of the fruits olf that labor, I get but a mere pittance for a share. And I have to stretch that mere pittance ot keep myself and my familty alive.

My poverty has reduced me to the bare necessities of life. And-the constant fear of rejection from the land has made me totally subservient to my master. You tell me that under the constitution, I am a free man-free to do what I believe is just, free to say what I think is right, and free to worship God according to the dicatates of my conscience. But I do not understand the meaningof all these for I have never known freedom. I have always obeyed the wishes of my master out of fear. I have always regarded myself as no better than a slave to the man who owns the land on which I live. You tell me of the right to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But I have known no rights, only obligations; I have known no happiness; only despair in the encumbered existence that has always been my lot.

My dear friends, I am a peace-loving citizen. I have nothing but love for my felowmen. And yet, why di I kill this man? It is because he was the symbol of an economic system which has made him and me what we are: He, a master, and I, a slave.

Out of a deliberate design I killed him because I could no longer stand this life of constant fear and bein a servant. I could no longer suffer that htought of being perpetually a slave.

Here is another touching piece. This was also written by someone anonymous so I suppose it is alright to post this here for those who need a piece. I am still searching for the pieces that I have loved from childhood.

Happy Feet

Just wanted to share a picture we took from the mall. We were both pretty pleased with our new shoes, we could not help but take a picture! :)

Quick Blog

Hannibal Rising

I have finished the Thomas Harris' book and enjoyed it immensely. I could not put it down. It is way better than the movie as it allows you to creep inside the mind of Hannibal. He is such a genius and to peek into his thoughts was more than enthralling. I would want to read the whole trilogy but I am not sure if we have it in the library.

The Rainmaker

This book by John Grisham was a bit of a disappointment for me. I did not like the ending at all, I felt like it did not make much sense. I do not know if the effect Grisham was going for is to try and make a full circle out of the story or what. Also, I feel that the love story angle was totally unnecessary. I learned a lot about insurance litigation though so I guess it was not a complete waste of my time.

I am still waiting for the cheaper version of Kinsella's Remember Me. It's supposed to be a light romantic comedy (I think that was redundant but I will let it be), and I do not know if by the time the cheaper paperback is released, I would still be interested.

"Vacation" is around the corner but my planner is already bleeding black from all the other things I will have to do on the side on summer. Workshops, trainings, among so many. I hope though to still be able to rest a bit. I appreciate work as well during summers because I really get depressed when I am not doing anything. Mom is planning to leave the country again but there are no definite plans yet. Knowing her, she will be announcing our departure at the last minute.

I am trying to learn French right now through this web site. I am also planning to enroll at Alliance Francais once I find time for it. The schedule is a bit tight and I do not know if I can make it.

A Confession

My very long vacation was not very productive and I am not very proud to admit it. It is just that it makes me feel better to confess.

I was hooked by the book In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner. I have seen the film but I was very curious to find out if the film did the book justice. I am glad (though not immediately) that I read the book because as always, the movie obscured so many important details. Though, being fair to the screenplay, these were things a bit hard to convey on the big screen without the overly used voice-over thinking-aloud style. Nonetheless, the idea of reading a book of a movie adaptation is always a good idea, it's like seeing the behind the scenes of the movie itself.

I liked the book, the ending left me teary-eyed and wanting to cry. I am such a sucker for sibling stories. The books is about two sisters whose mom died when they were young. Seems like another one of those stories but Weiner was able to introduce other twists like the little sister having a learning disability and their mom's death not being an accident at all etc. It's a nice read, if you do not have much to do.

Which brings me to my confession. I have tons of things to do. I have got to stop reading! I borrowed In Her Shoes from the library. When my feet lead me to the library, I tend to shop for books. I thought it was a great idea since I have been buying books the past few weeks (I used GC's or I bought when the books were on sale but even so...). I got myself a John Grisham, Rainmaker and Hannibal Rising... Tsk... Movie adaptations again. I was going to get Romeo and Juliet but the library had a terrible copy all worn out and yellow and part of the book was cut-off so the last word in every line was truncated.

Tomorrow is back-to-work day and I have to face the list of things I must do again.

Declamation Pieces

For a while now, people have been asking for declamation pieces. I havea tried searching on the net for possible declamation pieces and found none. This afternoon, I found myself some time to spare so I headed to the library and got a book on declamation pieces. After reading some of the pieces, I feel compelled to post some of them because they have been used during my grade school days. No luck finding Vendetta and Birthday Gift though but I shall search again when I find the time.

In the meantime...

I think this is a nice piece that can slightly be modified as performed so that it is more dramatic.


Guilty or Not Guilty
Anonymous

Logistics Nightmare!

I have just had a nightmare of a week!

I had not one, not two but eight foreigners come to my university. I was the only one who arranged everything and they are from not one, not two but five countries! I had a professor from France, Korea, Singapore, Thailand, Taiwan!

If there is anything that I have learned from this experience, it is that, logistics is not really my thing. I had eight foreign visitors from my research group this week but of course, preparation started a week before as well. They had to change booking arrangements so the hotel booking drove me crazy. They were coming from different countries and different flights so transfers from the airport to the hotel also drove me mad. Then, I also had to take care of the logistics of the talk I asked as a favor from them for our students. I was thinking having foreigners from different universities abroad at the same time in one place, our university, no less, was a great opportunity for students. I requested networking students to attend as the field of the professors were mainly wireless technologies.

For the past few days, and I have reason to believe this is due to stress, I have been involuntarily waking up at three in the morning.

The talk was alright, I really did not expect much participation from the students but hopefully they got something out of the talks. They were also presented opportunities to study in Korea, France and Taiwan which I think is pretty good. There are also attractive PhD scholarships in Singapore. Internships are available as well.

I have been asked to go on an internship program in Singapore but because I am getting married soon, I declined for now. I might go next year before we aim to have a baby. The professor said there's no hurry since the project is going to span two years.

If it is any consolation, the foreigners loved the food here. On their first night, I brought them to dampa and on the second night I brought them to Gerry's grill. I mean even the French guy loved the food! Now that is flattering! The Korean was crazy about our fruits here as there is none in Korea. The weather also cooperated.

The second night that they were here also happened to be my birthday which meant that I was very stressed on my 28th birthday and I was brought to tears by the logistical nightmare I had to face! I had a car that can take four people but I had seven (one went to Subic) people to transport. No one was willing to drive for them and so I had to ask my mom! Fortunately, my mom was more than happy to help me and so she drove them to MOA.

My sweet fiance, with a chocolate cake in tow followed us to Gerry's so he can have dinner with us but mainly to help me drive the foreigners back. I love my mom and Vince! They truly are the wind beneath my wings!

To make this long story short, everything worked out thanks to the two people I love.

It's nice to know that there are people who, no matter what the circumstance can be counted upon.

I love you.

Cynic Child

What has become of the world?

People steal and deny it without batting an eyelash. I hate not being able to trust anybody. Trust and you pay dearly for it. It's terrible.

I remember a time when I was in kindergarten. It was dismissal time and my mom already got my bag and lunchbox in our car. I was still in school for a reason I can no longer recall. Then I saw a man and a child. The man had with him a screwdriver for who knows what reason in one hand and a bright yellow lunchbox in the other. Upon seeing that, a scene started playing in my five year old mind where the man opens the lock of our car with his screw driver and takes out my bright yellow lunchbox. I began wailing and screaming saying that the man has stolen my lunchbox.

I must have embarrassed my mom greatly because I sure got a nice scolding after. As young as that age, I knew trusting someone comes with a price, betrayal.

While I was probably one of the most cynical five year olds there ever was... even that cynicism did not prepare me for what the world has become.

Amazing Race? Filipinos No Doubt.

Perhaps by now, everyone has seen the Amazing Race Asia's final leg and so blogging about it is no longer a spoiler.

I was very sad that Rovilson and Marc lost. I mean, I had a feeling that they will not emerge as champions though they kept on getting to the pit stop first in most legs otherwise, the race would have been very predictable. Call me a bit negative but it was really all too good to be true if they won.

While I am bordering on depression right now, I am still very proud that Marc kept his cool and did not knock every tooth out of Rovilson's mouth after they lost. I am proud because they never cheated (I think), they were always good-natured, well, save for the time when they yielded the moms but nobody liked the moms so that's alright (haha! I am so evil!).

Collin and Adrian may not be the team I rooted for but I am glad they won still because I think they really worked harder than Marc and Rovilson especially with the handicap. I mean it was probably hard navigating the foreign roads with one of them unable to speak and hear properly. While Marc and Rovilson had a great time with the quad bikes, Collin and Adrian had to carry their bike and at a point one of them got squished by the bike! So with all due respect to the hard work Marc and Rovilson put in, Collin and Adrian really earned the 1st place spot.

Marc and Rovilson had the time of their lives and I think that's a prize in itself. They're the only team who truly enjoyed the trips as though they were really in it for the tour. They got moustaches, hid in bushes, stripped in strip bars, I mean really, how many teams in Amazing Race Asia and the Amazing Race did something like that?! They are already winners and for this, I cannot help but love Marc more than ever! (Next to my fiance of course... *sheepish grin*)

The sisters won 2nd place and I think they deserved it too. I mean, one of them got a concussion and they kept on getting entangled into so much drama.

Bucket List

i have seen the Bucket List. As always, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman did a good job. The movie reminded me that I will not be around forever and while I am still young and clearly do not have any idea for how long I can stay here on our planet, I have decided to write a tentative Bucket List. Things I would like to do before I kick the bucket. I have done some things already actually.

1. Audition for a newscasting stint. Check! (twice! :))
2. Perform on a big stage. Check! (several times but only the Meralco Theater stage counts)
3. Marry my fiance
4. Earn my PhD
5. Travel the world with my fiance
6. Have kids of my own
7. Teach my kids
8. Own a two-storey house and live there with my loving husband and kids
9. Play a major role in a foundation for the youth at risk
10. Dance the salsa with my fiance
11. Celebrate our golden anniversary
12. Publish a paper in a journal
13. Send my kids to college
14. Write a book
hmm... I'm sure there's more. I'll add to this list more next time.

My new Shopaholic book is calling out to me... Read me! Read me!

Turning Bag-o-holic

Last year, my dad fulfilled one of my dreams hehe... He gave me my first LV! I do not have a second one yet but I won't mind having another one! While I am very happy with it, I am now obsessing over Burberry! My dad asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said I'd like a Burberry bag! He called yesterday and I asked if he was seriously giving me one, and he said yes!

Since, I have been happily thinking about my LV bag and how it's about to have a Burberry sister, I have decided to get to know it more. I found out that it is called LV monogram canvas Alma and its shape was invented (yes, this is the word from their site) by Gaston Vuitton. They have it in multicolor monogram canvas and Damier canvas too.

After almost a year of having it, there have been many occassions where I have been glad I had a nice bag to use. I don't really buy myself a lot of bags. Really! Contrary to the belief of my brother and sister and mom, most of my bags have been given to me. Most of them are not really meant for formal events so, I am very happy to have my LV bag for these things.

Now my LV bag is another thing to pass unto my child someday... vintage.

Thirty-three

I believe last night was one of the funnest(let it slide ok... I feel like Elle Woods today... it's funner! hehe...) things that we did in the longest time! After being so stressed for so long (we still are actually), we got to unwind for a bit!

We celebrated Mardi Gras at Gumbo Midtown. We reservd two weeks ago when I had my nails done before a wedding at California Nail and Day Spa. The price 600 Php for two people and it was already a three course meal so we thought it wasn't that bad. Plus, if we came in our costumes, we get a 500Php GC!

I went in my Tomb Raider costume and won my GC! Also, they sang for us because they knew it was our 2 years and 9 months together! They sang Can't Take My Eyes of You and asked us to dance. They also gave us two sundaes with a candle each! Yey! As if that's not enough, they even gave Vince a crown and me a New Orleans headband! Usually, guests do not take these home but they were given to us! More yey! I love Gumbo for their Four Seasons Salad and now, I have more reasons to love Gumbo!

Since it was Mardi Gras, they also gave us some beads! No, we did not have to flash anybody to get those! :) I thought it was pretty fun! Hope they'll do it again next year! Totally every centavo's worth dinner!


Before we ate, Vince already mentioned P.S. I Love You. I thought the movie was the movie version of a Sweet Dreams pocketbook. It was a really sad story of a Paul Strobe or something and the girl and him met at Palm Springs. The guy died in the end. Apparently it was not the SD book and a common friend said it was a nice movie and it stars Butler and Swank. I decided to give it a shot.

After dinner, we sprinted to the cinema and made it to the trailers! The movie lived up to the hype and it made me cry in record-breaking five minutes! I know, unbelievable. It was really, really nice. A bit cliche but the delivery and presentation is too nice, you'll let it slide.

*sigh*

I do not know what is up with me, but I have been mushy the past few days. No thanks to the Kinsella books I have read.

Thank you baby for the 2 years and 9 months we have spent together. Thank you for the lifetime you have promised we will spend together. Thank you for asking me to promise the same before the Lord and our family and friends. Thank you for bearing with me and for staying strong for us.

I love you.

Stressed?

No, I won't offer you Milk Tea. :)

There are several ways a person can handle stress. There are those who, like the egg when boiled, hardens while there are those, like the coffee, turns the hot water into coffee. While some people change themselves, others tend to change their environment to cope.

I got that from a site that I visited last year.

Stress can manifest physically as well. I have a colleague who, while doing his PhD in Japan, suffered nosebleeds (and this is not because he had to learn Japanese). The doctors could not find what was wrong with him. Lo and behold, after he graduated, his bleeding stopped.

This should be a reminder for those who find the adrenalin rush of tons of work exhilarating.

This is a warning for me because I keep on jumping at every opportunity that comes before me. Hey, as they say, strike while the iron is hot. I cannot agree more. I say I will keep doing this while I still have the energy and youth. I will slow down when I can no longer carry on like this. I am at the prime of my life.

Who says you only have to choose one?

Life is a shopping spree and i want all that I can have.

So sue me.

More Books!

She's Come Undone

I am not the kind of person who buys a lot of books. I love reading don't get me wrong, I am just a thrift when it comes to books. I always think of how big our library is and why in the world I am in wanting of a book not in the library.

This Christmas though, I got a copy of She's Come Undone from Vince's sister Veena . Thanks Veena! As I did not feel like working at all during the holidays, I decided to curl up and read the book. I finished it after two days! I could not put it down. I kept on waiting for things to get better for her. My pace should clue you in on how miserable her life was. it took that long for the character to redeem herself. *sigh*

This book should come with a warning. People easily depressed should not even touch this book. Seriously though, there are so many points in this book that one can ponder on. It was a sad read but it was still,definitely, very good. It's a story of evolution and adaptation. It portrayed how indeed, life is a jungle, the wild, where the strong preys on the weak and where the weak eventually evolves into something that can thrive in this place called society.



How to Find Your True Love

Firstly, I was disappointed to find out that Bo's book is already 350 Php. Not that it's not worth it. It's just that before, his books were just 150 Php each. I bought hte book anyway because I have been trying to find a copy for a long time. It was out of stock in most National Bookstores that I have been to! I know you might be wondering what I am doing reading this book. No, I am not trying to find another true love. I am simply checking if how I found my future husband was the right way of doing it. The answer? A resounding yes.

I think I did most of the things that he adviced in his book:

1. Take responsibility of your life.
Long before, I have resolved to save up for my life in the future as a single woman. I, like most girls, also wanted to get married but I am aware also that there is a possibility that I might not be meant to marry so instead of splurging on outfits and other things, I saved and invested.

2. Know what is stopping you inside.
This has never been my problem haha! Seriously though, I chose not to have a boyfriend during my college days so that I may be spared of the long sermons from my mom. I promised her and my dad that I will not get into a relationship until after college.

3. Talk to Lots of Guys.
Most of my friends are guys. Though I come from an all-girls school, I have had guy friends from childhood and it also helps that I have a brother. It was never hard for me to be friends with guys. Also, I joined the Singles Apostolate and I found myself having more friends there male and female. I also joined Center for Arts where I had more male and female friends.

4. Have as many friendly dates as humanly possible.
I did not have as many friendly dates as possible but I did go out on dates.

5. Be Attractive.
In Bo's definition, smile, look approachable, and put on a bit of make-up but make sure you look natural. Bo says an amazing personality never fails to capture a heart but you have to capture his attention first and it does not hurt to look attractive. Hey, Bo's words not mine. :) I think I looked okay. Though, as I recall clearly, I was in the worst state when my fiance first saw me. It was at ATC after the Discernment Seminar at St. James and we (Bhennie and I) were waiting for the prayer meeting. I was having a bad hair day. I let my hair down and I could not braid it because I had it layered and some parts were way too short. I have not seen my fiance then but we have talked a great deal with each other already. Oh, and if that is not enough, I discovered there was a hole in the right armpit sleeve of my shirt! I was not particular about how I dressed especially when I attended prayer meetings since I felt like I should just go there to pray and not for anything else. This was also a phase in my life when I was trying to practice simplicity. I refrained from buying new and branded things. (in case you are wondering, I am no longer in this stage hehe, though it may look it sometimes)

Suffice to say, I looked terrible the day I met him. I was wearing a UP shirt (so he thought I was from UP) yes, the one with the hole. A high-waist cargo pants that I have had before college. A pair of Nike running shoes, I had my hair down and it looked like a hurricane just hit it.

6. Know what you want in a spouse.

My fiance asked me to create an Excel file of all the things I want in a boyfriend and all the things I do not want. Needless to say, I did not agree to do this. Still, he found a way to ask me and so to make it fair, we alternately told each other what we wanted and did not want in a partner. The first thing i said was patience, patience and more patience. Now he knows why. :) I love you baby!

7. Enter into courtship.

My fiance was purposeful but he did not make this clear to me immediately much to my annoyance. I do not like it when guys just drop hints. For me it's say it out right or just leave me be. Anyway, after we got that behind us, he became purposeful. We knew how to create space by allowing each other to continue each other's activities. I let him do his sports he let me do mine. We do not control each other's lives and I think this is one of the real reasons why we are still together. Well, aside from his enduring patience and love. ;)

8. Trust God and enjoy life.

Being the paranoid, cynical, pessimist person that I am, I worry all the time. I know that I should not worry about tomorrow and that I should live in the now but it gets to me all the time.

I think, more or less I did it right hehe...

Oh and yeah, if there is one thing I learned in the book that I should always remember... guys love affirmations. They like being thanked and being recognized for their actions.

Now there's a tip. :)

The book really is overflowing with so many wonderful things to ponder on and put into practice. Bo though has a condition for you to read the book, that you are in your mid-twenties and above. :D