Friday, September 30, 2005

Light Up My Life

I am a drift wood aimlessly floating in the open sea.

Every morning I wake up and I go about my routine like the gears of a clock systematically move every second of the minute of the hour of the day. Where have all the drive and passion for what I do gone? Has the fire been extinguished by the cold gush of the rigors of the previous months?

I feel cold, eyes unable to focus in front of the minds I need to feed. Can they tell? Can the see my hollow self as I bare the syllabus in front of them. I want to give more and yet to no avail. My spirit is unwilling.

Lord light up my desire again to serve in Your name, to glorify You.

You have planted me here and I wish to bloom and grow for You. Shower me with guidance for I am beginning to wilt...

Amazing... that's what You are. A few minutes after I wrote you have answered my call. Thank You for taking the time to direct me to a course again. Thank you for reminding me why I do what I do. Leave me never my Lord for I am lost without You.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Let's Get Physical (Physical)

I had fun yesterday jogging at the sports complex with tananantanan... my baby!:) Yes, after more than a month we got to jog again!


Tiring but nonetheless refreshing afterwards. Hope we can consistently do this! We were so tired and hungry that we found ourselves at Wai Ying later that evening munching on some dumplings and other oh so heavenly yet sinful food hehe... maybe not that sinful since some of our orders were steamed and not fried.

After jogging he dropped to do some push-ups... wow can he do push-ups!I was daring him to do crunches. I positioned myself and he refused to do it with me since he just finished a round of push-ups. I started mine while he was trying to check if there were contractions in my abdomen and well... there was minimal contraction and that was when he showed me how to do it really. Darn! The correct way was indeed much more difficult. Whew! my abs feel tighter today. I should keep on doing that.

Yesterday he posted a friendster testimonial for me. Call me cheesy, but I cried reading it. I was surprised and I was touched by the words that he said.

I really feel blessed. I do. I pray that the Lord continues to shower us with love, joy, trust and understanding.

Monday, September 26, 2005

I Need A Hero!!!

After the 4:30pm mass a co-faculty of mine and I went to the Center for Arts Foundation, Inc. They were opening the new venue near GMA (near is a relative word... I should remember that). We got off the GMA station and went down the wrong side so on we went to climbed three gargantuan flights of stairs. Afterw which, we walked a gigantic block and then we saw the sign.

The concert was okay but it was hard to have fun when I was also thinking how I was going to get home. I thought my cofaculty was going to take me home. It was only that night that he made clear to me that he was not taking me home. I could take the jeep from EDSA but... well it scared me of course especially since it was already late. I felt bad but I also understood that my cofaculty lives in Laguna. Still a part of me was gritting... I did not want to call *** for favors like this. I did not want to disturb his relaxation at home. I also do not want to be overly dependent and needy and I know he needs his rest but I was left with no choice. I texted him if maybe he could pick me up...

Where have all good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

He texted me an instant yes. My heart jumped because though I would have understood if he texted me a no, I'd be hurt. I was holding my breath until he texted me that he can pick me up. He was going to pick me up! I told him I'll take the MRT with my cofaculty to Ayala and then I can just wait somewhere near Oakwood. A few minutes later I called him up, he was already in Ayala. He said he would wait for me at the escalator going to SM. Wow! I cannot believe this guy... To think he was watching a TV show when I texted him. He did not even wait til the show was over. He is my hero, my prince, my true love. I only had to text him once... I did not even have to call to ask him to pick me up.

Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me

Up Where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there’s someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood

I really thank the Lord each day that He gives me with him. I am and will always be grateful that our paths met.

Thank you for being the hero I have always hoped for. I have always known there's one out there especially made for me.

I love you so much baby. I mean it every time.

Holding On To A Hero - Footloose


Last Saturday was such a blast!!!

In the morning I woke up invigorated, I thought I might jog with my baby that morning but I saw how topsy turvy the unit was and I did not want my mom to hit the roof again because everything's a mess so I decided to clean up rather than call *** right away. We both slept late because I attended the prayer meeting while he went to Gilligan's Festival Mall with his officemates to eat and have a few drinks. He got home really late because he had to drive his friends home.

It was already eleven by the time I finished cleaning up and it was only at that time that I called ***. We were supposed to jog that morning but when I called him up I got "Uhhhh... Hello? Hmmm..."*cracking voice* I knew then no jogging was going to take place. I didn't mind though, I got to clean the unit already and that's as good as any exercise for me! Whew!!!

He picked me up past twelve... I wore the new dress my mom bought me. I particularly like it coz it's sporty so I wore it with a pair of rubber shoes. :)I love rubber shoes... I'll wear them all the time if I could get away with it except when I have to swim of course.

We got to videoke from 1:30pm to 5:30 pm with some of my co-faculty members. It was fun. I hope *** had as much fun. I enjoyed just sitting side by side with him. These days, I miss him more than usual. It's like I want to be beside him all the time but I know that should not be the case.

After the videoke, we went to the Meralco Theater to get our tickets. We had to get there an hour before the show to get the tickets because I just reserved through the phone. *** got us there in 30 minutes. He's a very skilled driver, unlike me. :) Let me rephrase that we have different skill sets... where his skill set includes getting us to where we need to go without getting lost, mine includes evading cops after counterflowing and beating the red light. Which one of us is a better driver? I'll leave that up to you!

We picked up the tickets, I went to the restroom and lo and behold, JR and Iya were standing there signing some autographs. I immediately went through my bag for a pen and I had them sign my tickets. They were nice enough... I even had my picture taken with JR. Iya was really nice calling JR to sign the tickets for me. My boyfriend was soh supportive the whole time hehe... That's what I like about him, I can be myself around him. I don't have to pretend at all.

We went out to Pho Hoa to have some dinner and then we went back to the Meralco Theater. *** was nice enough to get the car for us coz we were all running late. We made it in time though with lots of time to spare. We were supposed to sit with Aga according to the ticket guy. I was able to get the Center tickets because there were people who backed out... I was given the tickets beside Aga supposedly... I found out later on that Aga was not Aga Muhlach but some old guy hehe... Nah... There were two vacant seats so perhaps they were supposed to sit there. We had the best seats in the house!

The musical was great! I had fun watching it. It amazed me how much hardwork they really put into it. I can imagine how difficult it was to master the steps, the delivery, the coordination of everything. The creativity of stage acting and production has never ceased to amaze me!

I was also very glad that *** and I were able to share this together. For a while I thought musicals do not interest him but as it turns out, he enjoyed it as well as I did. It feels good to be able to share with him something I enjoy. I really should learn how to bowl...

On the downside... I got to see my second ex there with his ex who happens to be a former classmate of *** whom I think liked *** back in high school. You might need a diagram for that. It was awkward but I think everyone handled that well enough.

My Saturday was amazing. Everything kept falling into place. We would look for a good parking and a nice spot will suddenly become available. We wanted the best seats in the house and suddenly we can have them. We could have gotten there late but we arrived minutes before. It was the death anniversary of my beloved lola last Saturday. I have a feeling that it was her who was also looking after us. She was always the generous and loving lola. I love you lola. I know you are in the loving arms of the Father Almighty.

Thank you baby for the wonderful time! My words are not enough to paint my happiness last Saturday. You are everything I have every dreamed of in a person. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I look forward to more moments with you! I love you very, very much!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

A Day of Gold

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Today is the 50th birthday of my favorite aunt of ***. She's so bubbly! I like her husband too. I got to see Mama again as we all fondly call his grandmother who is already 82 but can still host a party and have everyone sing and laugh, teach line dancing to the tune of Don't Break My Heart My Achy Breaky Heart, sing and dance 'Til There Was You, read and commentate for masses, not to mention that she's always all made up and dressed up... She can put Imelda Marcos to shame! I wish I could be as kewl as her when I reach my golden years err... platinum?!

I was soh nervous and anxious on the way to the party. We had to drop by at the airport because my fave tito and his son (***'s godson) were waiting for a lechon from Cebu. For the one and a half hour that we were waiting inside the running car (My fave tito of his did not want to turn off the engine because it was hot) my tummy was doing a world-series gymnastic routine... I was fearful of meeting his mom for the first time. Yep, today was the day...

When we got to the party, almost all the guests were there already. His mom and his sisters were there already. I greeted Mama first and then I was introduced to his mom. I kissed his mom and his mom's other two cousins. His mom was warm and friendly. We occupied another table with his sister and his sister's boyfriend. I was a bit thankful for this because I was at this point still afraid of his mom.

The program began with the speeches. Followed by the dancing. His mom asked me to dance with Mama and I did not refuse hehe... Being the game person that I am I boogie-d with Mama until she told me she was exhausted already. I panicked when she told me because she has just been to the hospital the the week before due to over exhaustion and mild stroke. She asked me to dance with ***'s mom. We danced and we both seemed to have a great time.

His elder sister plays the organ at St. Joseph and that afternoon, she had to play for a wedding so we all went to go to St. Joseph. It was my first time to get so close to the bamboo organ, I even got to touch the keys... I was tempted to play Mary Had A Little Lamb hehe... I had fun. I even got to meet ***'s teachers because they were distributing report cards today too!

We left St. Joseph after the meet and greets and proceeded to ***'s house in LP because my beloved has not taken a bath yet. He failed to do so because early that morning he was already asked to pick up the lechon and that took up most of the morning... by the time we all got to the party he could not leave anymore because the people there would not let him.

It was also my first time to go to his house. They had three very aggressive dogs but they did not do anything to me so that was okay. I got to meet Manang, their househelp who was also very nice to me. Now, I don't have to fear calling *** at home because now we're friends.

Once he was all freshened up, we (***, his sister, his sister's bf and myself) went back to the party as his mom instructed us to have dinner there still. We sang on the videoke some more, line danced, danced the swing and the boogie, had dinner and then watched Big Brother.

Saturday was indeed a great day... :)

Hope to the Lord his family likes me coz I sure like them a whole lot!

After I got home, everything went downhill... My mom was pissed.

Is she jealous? I really don't know. Things have not been the same lately. She seems to be always on our (*** and me) case. I hope things will fall back into place so we can all be happy again.

Monday, September 05, 2005

And So On And So Fourth...

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I had it all planned out. I had a surprise that I wanted for him. He has been surprising me for so long... This time around, I wanted to do something for him. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen turn of events, I was unable to carry out my plan. Being the person who rarely plans, I was immensely disappointed when the way I envisioned things did not materialize. I consoled myself but I guess concealing is not among my talents.

He had to pick up his parents and my surprise required us to be at a certain place by 7pm. By 7pm he had to be home to pick his parents up. He fetched me at 530pm to get some fruits so we can visit his friend who was found to have a malignant tumor in his thyroid. The flow of traffic was rather heavy so going to UST was already impossible. Instead, he drove me back to the condo. He wanted me to come along to pick his parents up but the idea of sitting in a car with his parents scared me... I mean what do we talk about? I don't want them to think also, if ever *** fails to get there before 7 that it was all because of me. I just want my slate as spotless as possible.

While we were in traffic, he gave me an orange gerbera from Designer Blooms. There was a card attached to it and I was glad because the last time I got a card from him was months ago... :) I gave him a card and a letter (being the wordy person that I am). I did not have a gift for him since the gift was supposedly the surprise... Oh well... Maybe next month.

I gave him a wallet instead which took me a while to find. :) But finally I found it and I do hope he liked it. He was looking for a wallet a few days back and I also saw that his wallet was a bit worn out already.

Our fourth month celebration lacked the luster that our previous months had but it reminded me that we don't need a flashy celebration for us to be happy.

He came back for me after he drove his parents to the terminal. After he picked me up I was okay. I was very glad that we are together and happy.

The following day, I asked him to pick me up from RP because I had to buy drinking water for the house. After he left the unit at around 1am, I heard the bell ring. I looked in the peep hole and saw nothing. I was a bit alarmed because if that were him, he could have shown his face. I was thinking it was him, that maybe he forgot something. I even called my brother and my brother was so alarmed he almost called security. A few more minutes, *** called. I asked him if he was the one who rang our bell. He said yes. I told him I did not open the door. He asked me to open the door, and there... I saw a giant bear clad in a blue striped sweater. Similar to the small bear he gave me when I finished my thesis. I was so surprised I gasped out loud and let out a shriek... the units along the all must have heard it for it echoed for a while.

I named the small bear Thesis because he gave that to me as a congratulations gift for finishing my thesis. I named the big bear, Proxy because he's his substitute for when he cannot be around for me to hug. He smells of his perfume... hmm... I am so in love with him. I love hugging Proxy!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

A Saturday of Firsts

This Saturday was a bunch of firsts... I didn't know so many firsts can be crammed up into one Saturday but hey I am not one to complain. I am glad we shared the following firsts last Saturday:

  • FX ride together

  • Trip to Binondo together

  • Dine at Wai Ying together

  • Walk in the rain under one umbrella together

  • Trip to Divisoria together

  • Shopping at 168

  • TAS Trans bus ride together

  • Singles Apostolate Prayer Meeting together

The trip was great.

It actually started out as a small talk at the Singles Apostolate Encounter Weekend. My co-apostolates were talking about 168, a mall that sells really cheap shoes. Being the thrift that I am I just had to go. By thrift, I mean buying stuff when they are cheap, regardless of whether I need them or not.

Anyway, I told *** about my plan of going to Divi to go to 168 and then he offered to go with me. He is soh sweet!!! I love that guy soh much! DV shopping is supposed to be stressful but not for me, well at least not when I am with my baby. He took care of everything carrying everything I bought... He is not the typical guy who hates shopping... well maybe if he actually does hate it, he doesn't show it. He never showed disinterest in what we were doing, in fact on several occassions (most of the time actually) he was helping me decide.

We rode the FX going to Binondo because I did not want him to drive to Divi given that I do not know where in Divi 168 really is and I know getting a vehicle in that area is like banging your head to a jagged boulder.

We had our first FX ride going to Binondo, it was a relatively smooth ride and we even saw the manager of La Casita. We asked him where 168 was but he was unable to give us instructions... I was optimistic though that we will be able to find our way. I suggested to eat lunch at Wai Ying since I promised a few months back that I will bring him there when I am done with my thesis. Lo and behold, finally I am! :)

We had a heavy, hearty, yummy lunch (Those adjectives are all the juvenile words that I can muster to describe our feast)! It rained as we ate and it was still drizzling after we got out of the restaurant. It was a good thing I brought an umbrella. The people we asked said we can walk to 168. Fortunately, a woman was able to give us a more detailed set of instructions and my boyfriend was sensible enough to pay attention and remember them. If it were not for him we could have gotten lost and found our way to Recto or some other remote, unheard of area. As we walked, he held the umbrella over our heads. He really took care of me.

When we got to 168, my eyes where sparkling with delight or at least I felt like they were because I was ecstatic (there were no mirrors around at the time)! I wanted to buy one pair of girly shoes, but I ended up buying three pairs of shoes and two girly bags! All for my budget of 1210!

We went home by riding a jeep outside 168 and then we alighted in front of Manila City Hall and took a TAS Trans bus from there. It was fun how he never really lost his cool though it was a bit humid and it was raining. It took a while too before we could get a ride but he was fine with it. He even said we could always go back again.

We put everything that I bought in the unit and then we proceeded to St. James to attend the Singles Prayer meeting. He was reluctant to attend because he knew no one but he yielded after I asked him over and over. The prayers and even the songs were ok with him save for somebody whom he thought gave him a cold shoulder... That guy has some explaining to do... But I'd like to think he just did not have a good day.

He drove me back home to Taft where we hung out for a while.

Thank you baby for that amazing Saturday!

I had so much fun!