Monday, January 31, 2011

Straight or Gay

I am writing this post via iTouch so it is bound to be garnished with typos.

I had a hair cut today. I loved how they straightened my hair. I really looked nice. I was admiring myself all day like the real vain person that I am. *hahahha* Soh many people paid me compliments! Students, staff, faculty members, guards name it!!! I enjoyed the attention and this made me want straight hair even more. I considered this actually but they said I could not swim in the pool or in the beach. Right then and there I knew The decision was a no-brainer. I choose swimmng over vanity any day. Well... After everyone thought I looked purrty in my straight hair I began to question myself haha!!! And then my friend told me about the aquathlon at Ateneo! I am soh joining that!!! :) *prances about* Forget the straight, shiny beautiful hair! And then more people oohed and aahed and I was confused again haha!!!

But. Today I realized there are people who love me just the way I am. :) While I am now questioning their judgement * hehe*, I am extremely honored to have people like them in my life because their love transcends my imperfections. They love me inspite and despite of who I am. In weird cases even FOR my imperfections. Weird I know but I guess this is a miracle that the Lord gives me everyday.

This is on top of the kind of love He gives me, no ifs, no buts, just plain unadulterated love.

Thank You Lord for blessing me with so much even though I am ungrateful for most parts.

Straight or Gay

I am writing this post via iTouch so it is bound to be garnished with typos.

I had a hair cut today. I loved how they straightened my hair. I really looked nice. I was admiring myself all day like the real vain person that I am. *hahahha* Soh many people paid me compliments! Students, staff, faculty members, guards name it!!! I enjoyed the attention and this made me want straight hair even more. I considered this actually but they said I could not swim in the pool or in the beach. Right then and there I knew The decision was a no-brainer. I choose swimmng over vanity any day. Well... After everyone thought I looked purrty in my straight hair I began to question myself haha!!! And then my friend told me about the aquathlon at Ateneo! I am soh joining that!!! :) *prances about* Forget the straight, shiny beautiful hair! And then more people oohed and aahed and I was confused again haha!!!

But. Today I realized there are people who love me just the way I am. :) While I am now questioning their judgement * hehe*, I am extremely honored to have people like them in my life because their love transcends my imperfections. They love me inspite and despite of who I am. In weird cases even FOR my imperfections. Weird I know but I guess this is a miracle that the Lord gives me everyday.

This is on top of the kind of love He gives me, no ifs, no buts, just plain unadulterated love.

Thank You Lord for blessing me with so much even though I am ungrateful for most parts.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


I know that I am not in the most ideal situation right now and that I have a lot that I am thinking of but I thank You because You still make it possible for me to consider myself as one of the most blessed people in the world.

Thank You for the people You have surrounded me with. I am touched.

Thank You for hugging me from the inside. I know it sounds really weird but I am crazy, giddy, happy. :)

Thank You.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Zooming Out

Today was a slow day but I made progress. Small progress but hopefully tomorrow will be better. It seems that the longer I am doing this, the more I fear for my topic's novelty. *sigh* I hope what I am working on is still a valid topic otherwise, I do not know what I am going to do *hehe!*.

I was unable to hear mass today because I was too lazy to wake up this morning. Tomorrow should really be different. I need to reset my body clock. Pimples are subsiding so I think I might have been able to identify what was causing the pimples. I hope they would all just disappear. I have enough things to think about.

Something has been nagging me for a while now. I want to volunteer at a nearby organization. I have not identified yet which one and when I can actually volunteer. I am thinking, the best time to do this would be on a Sunday morning. So instead of just sleeping in, I might be able to put myself to good use or maybe on a Saturday morning. Hmm... I would love to participate in an organization that involves kids.

I hope I can get enough zeal to do this because it has been nagging me. It has come to my attention that the reason why I am so restless is probably because I am focusing too much on myself instead of focusing on helping others.


I want to teach young kids to read. That is what I want to do. I know, I am in the wrong course and who would want to do that right? Maybe I can teach Sunday school. That would be interesting. I am even willing to tutor Math or English... But I want it to be nearby so I can just walk to the venue. I do not want to have to commute anymore. Museo Pambata is interesting too. Yes, I think that is still walking distance *hahah!!!*

Enough of this.

I will try to get some work done.

Pampers and Huggies

I feel like Doogie Howser M.D. typing in the dark like this. I can almost hear the faint background music except Howser's interface was way cooler because he had this black screen, green blinking prompt (was it green or am I color blind or biased because I like green better than blue?). Still not bad.

I have a confession to make. I have bummed around for the past few days. Really bad I know but I felt I deserved it because I got to submit Chapter One. I know, I might have given myself more pampering than I deserve but I will make up for this by working my ass off this week.

Just today I got to see many movies! :)

I finally got to see The Tourist. While the reviewers were not raving about this movie, I liked it. I liked how Depp was able to play the dorky American teacher so well. I love how refreshing it was for him to play a down to earth person. Jolie was ravishing in every scene. She is just overflowing with sexiness. Just the other day, my friends were talking about man crushes. Jolie is my woman crush. :)

I also got to see Little Fockers, I had little expectation and that is what I got. I was able to laugh because I am not uptight but the movie is definitely not worth going to the theaters for.

Finally, I got to see Love and Other Drugs. Men would watch this for the butt and boobs exposure. I am a woman and I found Hathaway's boobs worth looking at. Wow. :) The ending made my eyes well up a bit. But that is probably because I was a bit emotional.

Maggie: I have so many places to go.
Jamie: You will still get to go but I might have to carry you.
Maggie: I need you more than you need me. That is unfair. I can't ask you to do that.
Jamie: You didn't. Let's say there is an alternate universe and there is a couple who are healthy and whose only problem is spending their money and being guilty about having a cleaning lady. I do not want that. I want this. I want you. I want us.

Awww... I thought that was really, really sweet.

I was especially emotional last Saturday night. I do not know what is up with me but I cried. I was lonely. I should not have been I know but I was. All of a sudden, I felt alone and lonely. I missed being hugged. Do not get me wrong, I used to have these problems in the past but in the past, I was younger and so were my other siblings and it was easy to get hugs out of them and then there was Tickle Me Elmo. :) I do not think Elmo would work anymore now.

I do not know. I guess, I just wanted a reassuring hug and I could not get one and that made me sad to tears. And then I had a dream that cheered me up. Towards the end though I got shot so that woke me up.

I realized that I am a person who needs affection. While I pride myself for being self-sufficient and not clingy, I actually, need affection and warmth. Though I have always known that I am more of a hug person than a kiss person. I now know that hugs are not wants.

It does not feel great too that I am gaining weight, my hips are expanding faster than the universe is and my face is giving birth to new volcanoes everyday. I feel like Big Bang is taking place in my entire body and I want to stop all these. I think I just need a good run. I only got to run once last week. This is probably just withdrawal.

I really need to run tomorrow. No ifs, no buts.

Or maybe Tuesday.

Hmm... Tuesday might be good.

Oh and yeah, thank You Lord for the hugs. You are the only one who can hug me from the inside. :) Thank You for the gift of people who give me hugs that are beyond the physical ones. I know You will help me get through this.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Black Swan

I am restless today and itching to go and watch a movie but nothing nice is on.

Yesterday, I thought there were a lot of good movies showing but after watching the reviews and looking at the trailers, I have decided not to waste my time.

I wanted to watch Little Fockers but after seeing the trailer, I just decided not to. If the trailer is not that funny, it is probably not a funny movie.

I also wanted to see The Tourist because Jolie just looks uber hawt in that movie! I like Depp too. I mean, I love him in his most eccentric roles but Jolie comes first in my heart. The reviews however, dissuaded me to watch this.

Since I was watching trailers anyway (Read: wasting time), I have decided to see the trailer of Black Swan because Portman fell in love with Millepied while training for this film and also (yes this comes second), she won a Golden Globe for her performance. I saw the trailer and immediately wanted, nay, obsessed about watching the movie!!!

I want to see this movie!


It is not going to be shown until February 23. *darn!* Even then, I might not be able to catch it at a movie theater (and might not want to even) because the erotic scenes might be cut out and I do not want to see the neutered version.

I am going back to work.

In Awe, Creeped Out

I am still waiting for comments on my document.

In the meantime, had a mini vacation today because I did not work on my document *thwaps self*. Instead, I had a PhD class as I surfed and learned about Natalie Portman and learned about the Intellitar of VirtualEternity. I also had a meeting regarding an upcoming show which ought to be fun because there are a lot of us partiicpating! :) The thing I enjoyed the most, and well served as choco sprinkles all week are conversations I had on the side. *big grin* Cheapest but one of the most enjoyable vacays ever!

Natalie Portman is pregnant right now and is engaged to Benjamin Millepied, a ballet dancer. I find her one of the most beautiful and smartest in Hollywood. She is a Harvard Psychology graduate for crying out loud! She also took graduate courses in Israel! If that is not enough, she has an Erdos number!!! Kewlness!!! :) Oh and yeah, she has published a research on infant psychology she co-authored with other Harvard researchers. You can look it up if you look for her real name, Natalie Hershlag. I am in awe. :)

I also learned about VirtualEternity. It is a company that will try to immortalize you by creating an avatar that looks and sounds like you. It will ask you for your life story and from that narrative, your relatives may be able to have conversations with you. Voice synthesis still needs work but if they perfect that... wow... it is super creepy! It can become mainstream someday though... Given that it is hard for all of us to let go of loved ones. I am creeped out! :)

Thursday, January 20, 2011


I just printed the latest version of my chapter one and forwarded it to my adviser here in the Philippines and my adviser in Japan. I hope it gets good reviews. I am seriously tired of reading the crap I have written over and over... I really tried to get as many papers related to my work. I am yet to finish writing my chapter two but that is easier to write especially since I have created my table already.

I have to prepare for a presentation in my special class for next week because I will be the one to hold the class. I have two masteral students who needed this subject and while I really did not want serious academic load this term, I think this class would help me as well. I am teaching advanced machine learning this trimester and I need semi-supervised learning as well for my dissertation so this will be hitting two birds with one stone. If only it did not have to eat up my time as well. I have to be creative in managing my time.

Quitting FB is one of the best decisions I have made this month. I really got to do more work. I also got more rest. If there is an addiction in my body still left, that will be watching series. I still like watching How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Lie To Me, House and just recently Cougar Town. I know, this is three and a half hours of my week. On February, Glee will be back so that is another half an hour added to this so that's four hours of my week. That is half a day's worth of work. :) Oh well... Small steps. :)

I have to go now and get some sleep. I also told myself I am going to try to get at least seven hours of sleep everyday. Last night was a success. Tonight I am not so sure.

Oh and yeah, I got to run again last Wednesday! After not being able to run for a lohoong time! :) I am back in the same cooped up environment but I do not mind for now.

I would still rather run outside but because I have not much choice, indoors will have to do. At least I get to listen to an audiobook.

Still listening to Nietzsche. I do not agree with him but I want to know what he said and why he said them. I will be able to finish tomorrow morning if I do get to run. After that, I have to find another book that I can listen to as I run in the morning. Otherwise, running would be uberboring.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Is the word to describe me... err... lethargic rather. I have been living a lazy life for the past two days. I have been sleeping and sleeping getting less work done much to my annoyance and ahem... enjoyment (?). Sleeping is good. They say we should all get a good seven at least.


I will try to get my good seven tonight but I doubt that I will get it tonight because I woke up late today and I am still at the University writing parts of my dissertation proposal. I need to wake up early tomorrow so that finally I can run! I have not run in days and it is very disappointing for me.

I also want to finish my dissertation proposal this month. I plan to finish chapter one this week and chapter two next week. I am doing chapter two in parallel with one. I hope I can pull this off. I am just polishing my chapter one so it should be able to work.

I have to go home now if I am to really get that seven hours. I always wake up at around five-ish so fat chance I will get that. Maybe I should just aim for six and work my way from there. :)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Finger Clickin' Good

Thank You for the gift of technology.

Technology has given me my job and so much more. It connects me to loved ones near and far. It has broken down wall and it has paved roads and built bridges over seas and land. It helps transcend distance and time boundaries. I love it because it has allowed me to give and receive more love than I can.

I know I have let go of FB for now but I have other means thanks to technology.

People I love near or far are always in my heart and mind and are always, I know, just a few finger clicks away. (Now that did not sound right!)

JapaNice Food

I know my posts have been about food since yesterday but I have been eating a whole lot. *sheepish grin*

Tonight we ate at Tanabe at Remedios Circle in Malate. This is my second time there and while I find the ambience Japanese and there were a lot of Japanese people there too, the food was not really as Japanese. I did not find the Oyakudon very impressive. I have had a Tempura Udon in the past, it was a decent Tempura Udon but it was not spectacular. I think what is stellar is their California Maki, which ironically, is not really Japanese as the name suggests. If you go to Japan, you will not be able to order this. I love their service though and I like it that they always give you sweet and salty fried fish and cold noodle soup as appetizer. :)

I still prefer Nemoto, a Japanese restaurant along Buendia corner Taft. It is really very Japanese. While eating you may also browse through manga and ahem... adult magazines. The only downside is that the Japanese smoke in the restaurant and they do not have a special non-smoking place. Their food is really good though and the price is more reasonable than Tanabe's. I always order the same thing... Udon. :) I like my Udon. My friends tend to order bento boxes but I find the bento box a tad bit too big and I still find the Udon very satisfying. I think I have only tried the bento box once.

I have also tried a Yakiniku restaurant at Little Tokyo, I did not get the name but it is way too expensive in that place but the food there is super yummy. One of my colleagues promised me we will visit one of the eat-all-you-can Yakinikus in Manila in the near future. I cannot wait! I like hanging out with my friends... I get to eat from different places!

Speaking of eat-all-you-can, I think Zensho really is the best deal around for eat-all-you-can. I love their tepanyaki! :) Just thinking of it makes my mouth water... *yuhummy*

Ajisen at Robinson's Manila is another Japanese restaurant but I do no think their Udon is any better than Nemoto's. I like their Corn Salad with Fish Roe though. Yum. I love fish roe *fishies please forgive me but I really love it when they pop in my mouth*. I always have Tempura Udon there as well. :)

Recently, I was also able to try Konbini at Connecticut St., Greenhills, San Juan. I was not impressed with their Ramen. Their gyoza was alright but it was not very impressive either. The cute thing about this place is that they have grocery stuff from Japan and the price is pretty much like Japan's. I wish they would also have Shiseido stuff. I like their lip balm and they only have it in Japan. :( They also sell fruits from Japan, except they are just too darn expensive!!! *sigh* I wanted the giant strawberries...

Yoshinoya, while very few people like the food here is actually comparable to the Yoshinoya food from Japan. I ate at Yoshinoya from Osaka twice and the food is almost like the ones they offer here in the Philippines so it's not so bad. If you want to enjoy reasonably priced Jap fast food, I say go for Yoshinoya. No. There is no Tokyo Tokyo in Japan. :)

All this talk about food has made me feel more full than I already am. I really have to run tomorrow!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Not a Pan

Since I got back from my Europe trip in 2010, I have been craving for chocolate croissant. I have been getting my supply from Delifrance and French Baker. Delifrance's chocolate croissant has more chocolate but it is more oily. French Baker has less chocolate but it is not that oily. I am not sure if that means less butter. I am not a connoisseur after all. :) I just love chocolate croissant. I am a pan au chocolat enthusiast. :)

I have been trying to find Alexandre a French guy-owned patisserie at the Fort but I have not been able to find it. It is at the corner of 32nd and 2nd Street if you want to visit it. I finally got to visit the new shop at MegaMall's Atrium. It is a chic place BUT their chocolate croissant is super fail! I was soh disappointed. I could already tell when I first saw it. But, when I tried it... I was even more disappointed. I am not sure how the owner calls it croissant and sleep at night. The croissant is the most bastardized version I have ever tried. Far worse than the one I tried at a cafe in Hong Kong. I cannot blame the HK cafe, they are not supposed to be experts. But a French cafe?! Really...

I got to try the classic cheesecake with raisins and while this cake is better than the chocolate croissant it is not enough to redeem the cafe. We also got the Lemon Tart because it resembled the cheese cake my mom used to make and it tasted nothing like what my mom used to make. Our fault. The lady did say it's not cheese cake but the crust we thought, was made of tea biscuit. We were wrong. The pizza though, ironically was really good. It is the only redeeming thing this cafe has to offer.

The hot chocolate I ordered is supposed to be a specialty of the shop but it's nothing better than the ones Starbucks has.

All in all, Alixandre was a disappointment, I am soh not a pan(sic).


Not the Itialian Ciao, the Taiwanese Xiao.

We were finally able to try Shi Lin. My sister calls it poor man's Din Tai Fung but it really does taste and look a bit like the original Din Tae Fung. I was able to try the Xiao Long Pao of the first Din Tai Fung in Taipei courtesy of a Taiwanese partner in 2007. It was my first time to try Xiao Long Pao. It just sent me to 7th heaven when I tried it along with the other dumplings at Din Tae Fung. I have been wanting to let my family share the experience ever since.

When we went to Hong Kong, I researched where in HK Din Tae Fung is and I found out that there is a branch at Silver Cord, a mall very near our hotel so we ate there. Twice. My sister and my mom loved the food there soh much.

Last Sunday, I brought my sister and brother to Suzhou because they also serve Xiao Long Pao there. It's not as intricate as the ones in Din Tae Fung since the wrapper is too thick and the Xiao Long Pao too big but it's really good nonetheless. My sister enjoyed the Taiwan Beef Noodles and the Xiao Long Pao. It is not like the ones of Din Tae Fung but it is still Xiao Long Pao. I also enjoyed the Kuchay Dumpling, no soup inside but still yummy. I also usually order the Hot and Sour Soup. *yummeeh!* I was also able to try their Fried Rice and it's not that bad either.

We went to the Podium this afternoon and tried Shi Lin. The food price is reasonable. If I remember correctly it's 105Php for the 6-piece Xiao Long Pao. We also tried the Shrimp and Pork Shaomai and it also tasted good. My mom loves the Shrimp and Egg Fried Rice. That also did not disappoint. Service was wonderful and it was not very crowded when we went there this afternoon.

Apart from how far Shi Lin is, I have no complaints.

I love their food and I hope to be back soon. :)


Friday, January 14, 2011


I have finished the third version of my chapter one but I am still going to polish that, I have to add more citations. I have not finished writing my RRL yet but I hope I will get to finish that soon as well. It is pretty hard really for me to build momentum so that I can introduce my problem statement and objectives. It feels like I do not know how to write. I think my third version is better now though. I keep on reading it over and over. I will go over it again tomorrow and see what I can do.

There were so many moments this morning when I found myself smiling for no specific reason. Guess I woke up on the right side of the bed. I was able to get away again today to my quiet place so that I can work. I should make that a habit. I can call it my "creative time" just like what Randy Pausch said.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


Wow! I have a new follower in this blog! *woot!* *haha!* I am soh pathetic! Anyway, no declamation pieces yet because I am busy with my dissertation. :)

I am happy Cougar Town is such a new series because I was able to finish all episodes in a very short time. More than the fact that it is new, I am happy because the episodes are only twenty minutes each. *whew!*

I was able to find a research similar to mine. This justifies that my area is valid but this means too that I need to work really fast and I have to justify the novelty of my work. I hate this sadomasochistic activity that is review of related literature. I still get crushed every time.

My FB abstinence is still on and no withdrawals yet on my part. I guess this is my good trait. It is easy for me to quit on stuff. The way I just decided to one day quit carbonated drinks and have not taken any intentionally for more than a decade now... fourteen years now to be exact. I can also easily quit people which has worked to my advantage and otherwise.

I was able to find a nice work paradise here at Shalom because my cube is just way too cold for me to be productive there. I will go back there though after class most probably because I think Shalom closes at five. I plan to do these excursion work sessions because I find that I am more able to concentrate at other venues such as but not limited to coffee shops, yogurt shops and library. I really hope to finish and nail this dissertation. I really do. The more I read, the more I am hooked. The more I want this. :)

Oh please give it to me. :) I receive it dear Lord. :)

Thank You for another beautiful morning! It is exactly the type of morning that is meant to be shared. Got to run again, this time following a different route.

Thank You Lord for sending me people who have my back. I really appreciate those who look after me in little way and in grand ways. Thank You. I recognize them as Your gifts. I hope I do the same for them.

I have to run to class now! :)

*happy happy joy joy!!! *

Monday, January 10, 2011

Surprises and Shockers

I had another beautiful morning. Now if only I can do something with excavation of pimples growing on my face my mornings would be nothing short of wonderful.

Once more, breakfast was perfect and well, I had a nice sweet afternoon snack too *yehey!*. I really love it when surprises come your way when you least expect it.

I do not like it too when shockers just come up to you and threatens all the beauty of a happy trimester. I hope I will not be forced to teach something that I am not prepared to teach on the trimester that I have dubbed as a happy term. Please. Please. Please.

Still, tonight I rest with a smile on my face because I have so many friends who are trying their best to keep my term happy. :)

Thank You for all the blessings!

Speaking of shockers, I have decided to deactivate my FB account today so that I may be able to focus more on my dissertation proposal. I really need to propose this term. I must. I must. I must. :) I have to create soft deadlines for mois tomorrow.

Oh and yeah, I got to run again today *yay!*!

Sunday, January 09, 2011


While today was a tad bit gloomy, it was a rather productive day. It is actually pretty weird that I am not the only one who thought today was gloomy, another friend thought so too...

I am happy because I got to finish a report I had to finish. I have also started to read another paper, which I was not able to finish yet because I started watching Cougar Town and it is driving me insane.

It is soh funny.

A think I want to put up more declamation pieces on this site. After all, most of my hits are coming from people in need of pieces. I like declamation pieces. Yeah, I can make that a small project. I could include some tips as well. :)


I think I need an outlet aside from my dissertation and occasional runs.

Riding on Faith

After many days of having to run within a cooped environment, I was able to run out into the open again yesterday morning. It felt great to feel the cool wind against my face. I must have looked like an idiot running while smiling. It felt great!

I also had a nice breakfast. Something I no longer do for a long time now. I usually just rest or get to work after running.

Thank You because it was really a beautiful morning for me yesterday.

In the afternoon, I was able to finally finish reading a paper that I needed to finish reading but I have more papers that I still need to read so I should really be working now to finish a report and then I will be back to reading more papers. :)

In the evening, I cried. While I was listening to gospel music I used to sing along to in the car way back in college. I cried because I realized that I have no control over what will happen next. Everything is now up to You. I am at Your mercy and I just have to hold on to Your promise. I cried because I surrender everything to Your Will. I have done all that I can and now everything is up to You. You know the desires of my heart. You are the only One who really knows me.

On a lighter note, I dreamt last night that I was with my college friends and some colleagues. I have decided to ride a really old cheap bike. I was having such a difficult time pedaling but I had fun nonetheless. I do not know what that dream means though... :) I think I dreamt about this because I saw a boy last night who rode his bike so carelessly, I was afraid he would get run over or fall.

I guess at the end of the day, I am also like that little boy who rides his bike so carelessly. I can do so because I know that no harm will come upon me because You are with me always.

Thank You.

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Sweet Surprise


Thank You for the sweet surprise! I really needed this! :)

Also, thank You because I was able to run today!


Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Enveloped Gifts

Yesterday, I went back to work and I got my evaluation from last trimester. I was very happy because I got comments! :) Some students do not take time to write comments anymore because they really do not have to but I received many pages worth of comments both in the academic and nonacademic courses that I handle.

They were really good late Christmas presents. I am glad that my students appreciate what I do for them. I am truly a fortunate person to have such a great job.

What is even better is that this term, I do not have academic courses to handle! I just need to attend to three sections of nonacademic courses, the content of which I know by heart so that I can focus on my research *yahoo!!!*. I can smell best trimester ever! :)

I hope that I will make this trimester a truly productive one. So far so good. I think my Chapter one has taken shape, I am just adding a few more details and I think it is good to go. I am constantly at work with Chapter two though.

Here's to moving forward!!! :)