Monday, October 14, 2013

Nocturnal Musings

It's late at night and am cramming. Of course I want to blog.

Escapism is my thing.

Just saw a post of a friend and realized something. When you love somebody, it does not matter how you spend the most special day for as long as you are together.

Just a thought I want to remember. This would be a good barometer. You know for next time.

Friday, October 04, 2013


I thank You dear Lord for helping me do very well in the task that was so new to me. I know that I could not have done it without Your help and without the help of the angels you have given me aka my team.

I learn everyday and I am blessed because I know You are the one making all this possible.

I pray that You may guide me as the time nears for me to make a very big decision.

Please guide my heart and mind that I may go to where I will bloom. Allow me to bloom where You have planted me. In the deepest recesses of my heart, I can feel that I am where You want me to be. Please let me be right. Please let me tell the people around me. May they understand me and my love continue to flow in my life regardless of my decision.

Please hold my hand as I cross the street. 

Thank You.

Monday, July 29, 2013

I need to do something new and it is out of my comfort zone.

I need Your help. There is no way I can go through this without You.

Thank You very much.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Before Midnight

I just saw Before Midnight and I was impressed by how great their marriage is. I was happy that they were able so show a nice semblance of what it is like to be married instead of overly romanticizing it. Delpy's character reminded me of my self.

A bit neurotic. Worried about a lot of things while just taking in so many things and keeping them to myself.

The character of Hawke was amazing as well. He was great in trying to make his case. He was not perfect, a bit judgmental and I was in awe of the tolerance Delpy had.

I guess, at the end of the day, if I ever get married again, if I see something like this, I will be okay.

This is what a marriage is all about. It's about laughing, talking fighting, walking out, coming back, walking away, getting fetched, loving and living and growing old together.

In spite all that has happened to me, I am still hopeful.

At least I have that.

In the meantime, I have to take a bath and have a great time... before midnight.

'Cause after that I have to sleep and then get my ass to work.

Here's to hoping that in between sleeping and working I will get to find my Hawke. :)

Spreading Wings, Wetting Feet

All my life I have not been too far away from my family. I did not want to work abroad because I did not want to be too far away from the warmth of my loved ones and from the comfort and convenience of home. Without going abroad, I am left on my own as my sister explores a new horizon. My mom has chosen to hold her hand as she wets her feet along a new shoreline.

I am sure things will be okay but it takes a bit of getting used to. This small box that we used to live in suddenly feels too big. The once too noisy place has now become deafeningly silent.

I just need to shake this off. I will learn to appreciate this newfound independence albeit forced. Things will work out just fine. I will learn and I will live.

Monday, July 15, 2013


After a really long time, I find the urge to type away again in front of my screen. So many things have changed. For instance, I am not typing away in front of the MacBook Pro that I have been so accustomed to seeing before me. Instead, I type away on a 17" Lenovo that can be upgraded to a 64MB memory. It's a server on my shoulder.

As I type, my newly digitally permed wet (I might add) hair hangs by my shoulders much to my annoyance. I have to take the good  with the bad. I am not so afraid to experiment anymore. Too old to care I guess.

As I type this, I can say that I am now free. I have finally seen the end of the tunnel. It's bittersweet. I see that I am now where I have dreamed to be but I have not thought beyond getting here. So I am here and yet so clueless as to what I should do next. I just know that I am grateful for being here.

As to where my next journey will take me, I leave that unto You.

I knew You were holding me all this time. Thank You for never letting go even at times when I felt I have wronged You immensely. Thank You.

I see life in a more different light. I hope to be worthy of this new chance. At love. At life.

I am blessed.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Owww -pportunity

I have not been attending to my dissertation because I do not have my equipment still. Argh!

I also have been busy with something else. I have been at it for some time now and it may be taking its toll on me.

I know You are carrying me in the palm of Your hands dear Lord.

Thank You very much.

Monday, February 18, 2013


Reading Tuesdays with Morrie right now and I want to remember this:

Life is a lot of pulls back and forth. Things hurt you even though they should not. You take things for granted even though you know you should not. It's a wrestling match but love always wins.

Sent from my iPod

Wednesday, January 23, 2013


I feel like my chest is about to burst but I have to focus on the task at hand. Focus me. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

12 to 15

Oh my. Three days have gine by and I just realized last night I may need to overhaul my DB. Aaargh!!!

The simulation I plan to do is still very blurry to me.

I better step it up.

Sent from my iPod

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Day 10 to 11

I was able to create synthetic data, modify my db design, increase my contextual info, identify rules based on synthetic data.

Will create a more elegant design tomorrow.

Thank You Lord for sending me an angel/slave driver/mentor/tormentor to push me when I am dead tired, sleepy and high on antibiotics. I am happy because I worked instead of sleeping.

I feel Your love.

G'night world!

Sent from my iPod

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Day 9 and 10 - A Series of Interesting Events

I have created a new class and am now populating my database with synthetic data. Hay. I am thinking how I should go about the input. I want to automate it but then I also want it to make sense. 

Thrilled about a movie that is to come! *woot!*

Oh, yesterday, I had an interesting dinner at an interesting place. I would never come back but it's off my bucket list at least hahaha!!! 

Also, I saw an older man make a shady deal with a very young teen *sigh*. We tried to follow them - think pretentious private investigators turned extortionist. 

Interesting day. 

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Day 8

I am retyping this. For some reason all that I wrote earlier got deleted letter per letter, before my very eyes. I am using my iTouch so am not sure how that happened.

I did not get to do any programming today but I did decide to directly plug in my data into my DB. I will later just make queries so as to get pertinent data that I will convert into CSV so I can build a model.

I finished the program for a hosting job.

I got to spend time with mommy.

I got to eat yummy mangoes. Thank You Lord for the mangoes, the sponteneity, the great company.

Also, thank You for the early morning blessings! :) *woot!*

Sent from my iPod

Day 7

Got tobrun errands today. Pampered myself a bit. Created my database tables.

All in all not so bad.

Thank You Lord for the blessings. U raise up to You the desires of my heart.

Sent from my iPod

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Day 6

I was able to hear an early mass with my mom - early means 9am haha! After which, my mom and I went to McDonald's, we both miss eating after hearing mass, I call this the Simbang Gabi hangover. I saw one of my past students there with another girl. This student of mine impregnated one of my students. She had to go to school with her big tummy. She had to withstand the stares and glares but she pulled through. I saw her baby once and the baby is so pretty. I saw both students together at Bubba Gump's once. After that, I heard the guy was with somebody else already. Today, I saw him with another pretty girl.

I felt bad. I hope my student and her daughter are both doing well.

I designed my table today. I was hoping to program some more. Okay fine. I will try running the database along with my classifier for tonight before I sleep. 


Oh and yeah, went to the gym today and did Body Combat, Body Jam and HipHop. I think I am getting the hang of HipHop. :) 

Day 5

I am going to use Derby and not MySQL anymore. Next task is to write code that will convert my .csv into a database.

Also, along with my tech angel I was able to check my list of equipment.

Thanks so much for all the help today dear Lord.

I really appreciate angels you send my way.

Thanks too Lord for all the party loot You sent my way. It was a wonderful surprise.

Sent from my iPod

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Day 4

I finally got to deposit the check. I finished the letter as well requesting equipment. I also installed drivers yesterday. I hope to test them later.

I love my Mac but it has soh many issues.

Oh and yeah, I had a boatload of chicken yesterday! Yahoo!!!

Sent from my iPod

Thursday, January 03, 2013

Day 3 Update

Okay, done with the setup. I was able to build a static classifier already. I now need to make it incremental. Hmm... Maybe I should start with the zoning first or the database. Maybe the database would be a good place to start. Hmm... 

Will rest for now. I have Muay Thai tomorrow. *woot!!!*

Day 3

I still was unable to deposit a check I have been aiming to deposit since January 2. However, today was not a waste because I got to spend the day with my mom. We were able to see the movie she has been wanting to see. Also, I was able to finally, finally make the program run. It's a really small step but I have been having birth pains with this small program and I am glad I am through the hard cold start. :)

I have missed this high. 

I am not yet done with today and I am so happy because it is showing much promise. Yahoo!!! 

Thank You Lord. 

Day 2

I am stuck with my program. I better be able to fix this by tomorrow. I am also developing a cough which is terrible. I hope it goes away. I have been popping vitamin C like an addict and still...

I was able to go to the gym today. *woot!* I need this. I have realized, not without much difficulty, that if I do not exercise I become depressed and crazy. 

I sent and filled out an important document today. Please let everything work out dear Lord. I cannot help but feel that You are making all these happen. I know that with Your grace I can do anything. 

Thank You Lord for this day. 

I have only 363 days left of my sabbatical!!! Time does fly!

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Books! PS

I forgot, I also read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. 

I love the lessons in this book. Must-read for students. I also think Ramon Bautista's book is a must-read book for students. There are just a multitude of lessons to be learned. 


Since I got my Kindle, I have read soh many books! I am soh happy!!! I just figured I would list them down so I will not forget books I have read already.

1. I Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
I am so pleased to have been able to download this because I do not need to get it from the bookstore. The reprint (the cheaper version has not been made yet). 

2. Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
I enjoyed this book thoroughly. This is a really long read but it makes you understand Steve Jobs and his products more. He is arguably a creative genius but since this is my blog, I'm calling him a creative genius. 

3. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
This was given to me by a friend and this is, hands down, one of the best books I have read! 

4. A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning
   A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Reptile Room
   A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Wide Window
   A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Wide Window
   A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Miserable Mill
   A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Austere Academy
  by Lemony Snickets

I know I am too old to be reading this but I never had these books while I was growing up so let me read them. The first three were turned into a movie but the next few books are very exciting to read even for an adult like me. 

5. Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo by Ramon Bautista
I did not read this on my Kindle but this was super funny. 

I am currently reading Two Dave Barry books one from an actual book and another on my Kindle. I am also reading the next book of the Series by Snickets. Books are so addictive!!! ;) 


Day 1: Update

I was able to do an update of an important document today which is really part of my to-do list today. I also came up with little steps towards an experiment for my dissertation. I was unable to completely do all that I have planned as the table I use for my laptop was occupied by New Year fruits. I have 364 days left until the end of my sabbatical. I intend to make each day count. 

I have hopes for this year and I do pray that the Lord may will them to materialize into fruition. 

Tomorrow, I need to build a temporary model so I can try and see if my "adaptive and intelligible" model will work. 

For now, will try to get some sleep. 

Thank You dear Lord for the brand new year. Thank You because each year You give us a promise of a brand new beginning. Thank You for never forsaking me. Mama Mary, thank you for always interceding for me.