Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Christmas So Far

Last Sunday, I was able to hear simbang gabi 1. I did not sleep the entire night, I decided to wait for the simbang gabi of 4:30 am. Hmm... After that I went straight back to bed. Sad to say, after two early morning masses, I could not do it anymore. A lot of activities were slated for me that Monday, the third of the nine masses to be completed.

I have never completed all the nine masses, closest I got was six masses out of nine. I hope next year I'll get to finally complete it. I really want to. Not because I have a wish, I did not make any wish for all these years that I have been trying to complete them. I just really want to.

Also, last Sunday I got to go to Market! Market! with my boyfriend and my not-so-little sister. It was the first time in so many months that they got to spend some time together again. My sister's comfortable around him, I mean she laughs and jokes about and that's enough for me. My other two exes pissed her off, so much she won't even bother a slight smile. Kudos to my boyfriend a.k.a. Boyoyong hehe...

My sister who insists she's all grown up insisted that she go around the mall on her own. I had to make her call my mom so I know that it's okay to let her loose in the mall. Hmm... Apparently she is a bit grown up already. *sigh* She has grown up so fast.

She bought her classmates and friends some gifts while I also scouted for gifts for my brother and some friends. I'm still not done shopping, it's quite a shame really, I got so many gifts from friends and I did not give out a lot of gifts. I did not have much time with my teaching load at NCC.

Speaking of NCC is okay. I mean my students do their assignments. Sure they're late most of the time but we're doing good. We're still on schedule. Like we all have a choice, we really have to follow the syllabus or else... Time will not wait for us.

Anyway, after Market!Market! we dropped my sister off because she has believe it or not, her quarterly exams. She's doing okay in school even without studying much and she figured since she's in her senior year, she doesn't have to work her ass off. Why did I not figure that out then? She's so smart I tell you. :D Going back to my always-interrupted part of the story, I got to go to the Christmas Bazaar and I got myself some stuff. My boyfriend was able to buy gifts for his godchildren and officemates... Note to self, must buy gift for my inaanak within striking distance. I got to buy two bags! I also saw really cute Precious Moments dolls! I told my sister about it and she was telling me how she wants those dolls. Oh well... I thought she wouldn't appreciate them. Maybe we can go again some time before Christmas. We can ride the bus because I sure don't want to drive going there... super traffic. Or maybe we can go early during the day to avoid the hassle of playing Trip to Jerusalem with twenty cars.

My boyfriend and I decided we were just going to take a peek at the bazaar since I had so many things to check and record and he had to go home early so he can prepare for the following day and spend some time with his family too. Lo and behold, we spent three hours in the bazaar, maybe even more. I lost track of time.

After the bazaar, I felt kind of sad when I realized my boyfriend was sad because he was going to go home late again. I mean it wasn't my idea to go there that day. I already told him we did not have to go. I could have gone on my own anyway. That way he would not have to feel so bad that he was going home late again.

This made me re-evaluate things. Am I stealing too much of his time from his family? True, most of that week was spent outside of his home. Monday last week he came from a basketball game and picked me up. Tuesday, he was color coding and I figured maybe I could come around and pick him up this time around only to realize when I got there that he drove his father's car. We decided to have coffee instead, and this made him go home a lot later than he should, or probably intended. Wednesday, he picked me up again and I think we went to MOA to have some Starbucks stickers (remember my addiction, I don't go there to drink, I go there to acquire stickers)... or was it Blue Wave? Thursday I went to MOA to have dinner with co-faculty members. I got to drive someone else's car that night hehe... My palms were all so sweaty! But I pulled through! He met us there since he also needed to buy a gift bag for his Kris Kringle. He got home late again since I had some hot choco and he had coffee (guess where... ) and then Friday, he picked me up again from UP so he got home late again. Saturday, we went to MOA to meet someone and to buy some presents and then Sunday.

I guess he did really not see his family. Anyway I figured that so this week, I decided to let him go home early. :D That way, he get to spend time with his family and I get to spend time with my siblings and friends. A relationship after all is about growth and we grow through others too.

1 The simbang gabi is a Filipino tradition done nine days before Christmas. It begins December 16 and the last mass is December 25. According to our chaplain, the Misa de Gallo is an offering to Mama Mary. Most Filipinos believe that if you wish for something, and complete the nine masses, their wish will come true.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Sticker Crazy

I have gone down to the level of those who drink at Starbucks to get a freaking planner! I don't know... I just got sucked into the blackhole and now I have degenerated into void.

Thank you baby for loving me still and for holding on to my hand and getting sucked into nothingness. Thanks for gulping down more sugar and caffeine than you have to, or need or want just so I can have my @#$@$@% sticker. :)

I don't know what the sticker does to people but it has somehow motivated me to freaking drink unreasonably priced hot chocolate cups. It has even made me contemplate about drinking coffee. :D Blech... I thought about it until I felt my pulse rate increase, then I was reminded why I should steer clear of coffee.

I have gone sticker crazy so if you don't want your Starbucks receipt... I can use them. :)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Driving Myself Crazy

I never thought I would miss driving soh much. I haven't driven in a long time since I live literally a few steps away from where I work. I missed being able to listen to my car radio, smiling and talking to myself. I know it's really weird but I do talk to myself while I am in the car. Thanks to the wireless devices I don't look so weird now as I did ten years ago. :)

It is so therapeutic to drive! It feels so great! At least I was thinking this ten minutes into driving going to UP.

After that thought, everything went downhill. Literally.

There was even this one car who had a bumber sticker that said, "Don't act stupid", there were little letters but I couldn't read them anymore. This car cut two lanes so he can turn right when he was in the lane for turning left! I can pretty much guess what the small letters say, "like me".

Driving in the Philippines can be so infuriating! I got to UP in less than 1 hour even with the bugger traffic at Quirino and a bit in Araneta Ave. It's around 30 minutes less than the travel time if I take the MRT. This is minus the stairs workout care of MRT and LRT and the sauna at the jeepney terminal.

Still if you ask me, I would take the LRT, MRT and jeep. It is soh much cheaper. It only costs me 44 Pesos to get to UP if I use public transportation. I don't know yet how much it costs to take my car. However, going home is another story. My mom is not comfortable with the idea of me taking a cab at 9pm. My boyfriend isn't happy with that either. In fact, he hates the idea so much so that even though he works in Makati, he bothers to pick me up. :) Thanks baby!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Love on a Higher Level

My boyfriend loves me and I love him.

That alone should make me happy. Still I find my self finding faults in an almost perfect relationship. My boyfriend has surrounded me with so much love and yet I am searching for romance. I look for surprises like those he gave me in the past when we were still starting out.

Now that I think about it, he has not ceased surprising me. He surprises me by picking me up at UP without me telling him to. He just shows up every night to make sure I do not take a cab home. Still the knight in shining armor. He surprises me every time I pick a fight, he would always pick the words to use, fix what's wrong and patiently listen even when I refuse to speak a word. He surprises me whenever he is willing to give in to my requests and preferences. He surprises me in so many ways that I cannot enumerate all.

There was nothing wrong with him. It was me. I failed to see the romance in all the love he was pouring out on me. I am glad I have realized this before everything has gone.

As I was wondering and fumbling about this, I came across an e-mail of his that's almost a year old. It's a forwarded message but it's a really nice one. I don't normally post forwarded messages and most of the time I do not bother to read them but this might help you as it helped me.

This is my favorite part in the passage:

"That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in
between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never
been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and
romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the
relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's
our life... Love, not words win arguments... "

The whole passage is pasted below.

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature,
and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to
admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before,
has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a
little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his
lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into
marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to
him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything
in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted
cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even
express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody
it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have
started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if
can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want
flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that
picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"

He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by
listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with
his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table
the front door, that goes....

My dear,

"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the
reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and
cry in front of the screen, I have to saved my fingers so that I can help
restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to
home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save
eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every
month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by
autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your
eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip
your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also
hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine
the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the
color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more
than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting... and
as I conntinue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied,
open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread
and fresh milk...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly
with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I
have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in
between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never
been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and
romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the
relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's
our life... Love, not words win arguments...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Through the Darkness, Let Us See Your Light

Last Sunday, I was at St. Luke's to visit my boyfriend's uncle. He has had Lung Cancer for four years now. He does not smoke, does not drink and yet he was struck by this fatal disease.

A few weeks ago a two-month old baby of a co-faculty vomited. Two days later the baby went into coma and died after a week. The baby was found to have aneurism caused by a congenital disorder.

A few months back, a friend of mine, after one year of marriage had a daughter. Two days after giving birth, his wife suffered a heart attack. She was a dancer and was healthy.

Another friend of mine gave birth a year ago. This year, the father of the baby died due to dengue.

I say a prayer for their souls. I also say a prayer for those they left behind. I say a prayer for myself, for my loved ones, that we may not have to experience such things. I do not think my faith is strong enough.

In times like this, I do not know what to say to them, so I just keep quiet hoping that somehow, they know that I am very sorry for their loss and that I know that there is nothing I can say that can lessen the pain in their hearts.

Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord
Let perpetual light shine upon them
May they rest in peace.

I pray for those they have left behind that they may continue to be strong amidst this great trial they are facing. Keep them with you Lord that they may not go astray. Give them strength from day to day. May they feel your love through other people, through events of everyday. I raise them up to You Lord. I raise up to You my fears and anxieties. I raise up to You my loved ones that You may keep them healthy and away from harm and away from untoward accidents.

Thank You Lord for all the blessings, for the people around me and for all the love You give me through them everyday.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

A Series of Random Events

Still not finished with my report. I move in such a sluggish pace. I got distracted by the Magic Sing. I got to sing with my sister today. Now that is always fun!

I was supposed to go to Divisoria today with my friend but she had a sudden bout of high blood pressure. She got it earlier than usual. So instead of going to Divi, we went to her place instead so I can see my godchild who was unfortunately in a bad mood today due to his bad cold and cough. Poor thing. I hope he gets well soon.

After the visit, I got to go to a salon in our building's ground floor. For a long time now, I have been thinking of getting a hot oil. Yes. My hair has never tried it before. It was my first time today and I have to say it was rather lovely. :D It was cheap too. Well, I think. I got mine for five hundred which came with a foot spa, pedi, hair cut (I did not avail of this because I do not trust them yet, so far Propaganda is the only one I can entrust my hair style to since I have curly hair, I got a trim instead). I paid for an additional manicure. I did not like the manicure though, the woman was rushing and she got me so scared. No tip for her. The woman who took care of my hot oil treatment, blow dried my hair which is probably next to the suffering one can get from hell so big tip for her. It was my second time today for a foot spa and surprisingly, it tickled less this time. Anyway, I can't imagine how heavy my foot's weight was on the woman's thigh, plus I cannot imagine having to scrub other people's feet for a living so big tip for her too.

Over all, I will be coming back for the foot spa and the hot oil but no more manicure from that cruel lady. She did not even have customers waiting. Agh!

After the visit to the salon, I got to see my baby! He just got out of his bowling tournament where his team finished fourth out of so many teams! Hurray! We went to MOA to shop for Kris Kringle. I ended up at Terranova and since they had this sale adn there was this cute blouse for only 299. I just had to get it!

Might come back tomorrow for more finds. :)

So though my day did not work out quite as planned, I liked that I was able to still have fun. Maybe even more fun than I have hoped it would be.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Just Humming

It's 3 in the morning and I have just finished half of my repor on my PhD! My teacher sure was not kidding when he told us that the report this time around will be longer than the first. Whew!

I have been slaving away in front of my computer since 12 midnight because I got to spend half past nine til 12 midnight with my Prince Charming. No, we did not go to a ball, what I was wearing was far from a gown (a.k.a. flip-flops, shorts and a shirt) but my heart danced to the beating of our hearts. Holding his hand in mine, I felt everything was calm and certain as though midnight will never come.

It was an ordinary date and we're ordinary people but what we have is special and that's good enough for my heart to sing...

So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of
So this is love, Mmmmmm
-So This is Love, Disney's Cinderella

I thank the Lord for sending me a miracle that is you.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Window Shopping

Lately, my boyfriend and I have been finding the Mall of Asia rather small. We have the shops memorized like the back of our hands already so we have decided to take our window shopping to the next level, the more literal sense. Only, we're not just shopping for windows now but the roof, door, walls, the entire thing! We have been checking out condos and houses lately.

So far, we have only gone to one site, since my schedule has been so hectic for the past few days. We visited Chateau Elysee just last Saturday. They have developed the clubhouse already, they have a 25m lap pool. The buildings are only 6-storey high and the place looks fairly nice. It reminds me of Saudi Arabia actually. Houses looked like that in Saudi.

The payment scheme I think was also fairly easy so my boyfriend and I were thinking if maybe we should have a unit reserved. We're planning on reserving two. Each is 20 square meters. We told ourselves, we'll think about it for a week.

When we were checking out the condo where I live with my siblings now, I was able to picture myself living here. I felt that it could be home. When I visited Chateau, I felt that same feeling but I also had a few concerns like some cracks that I saw, the road to the Chateau is rather narrow so it might be a source of traffic in the future. There will be 6 buildings there and if each unit will hava a car, I am sure the traffic in the morning won't be so good. The site though is very charming and yes, I can picture my own kids playing there. It's better than a condo because the kids will have a place where they can play.

Then of course, there's the thought of not having our own land. It's just after all a unit that we'll be getting. However, the place looks safer than an actual village, I think kids will love it better there than in an actual village. The kids can ride their bikes inside the compound. Hmm... Now where do they store the bike? I must raise that concern to my boyfriend.

I will pray about this so that we may make the right decision. It's exciting to look at houses with the man that you love. :) It's a glimpse of the future that we are going to share after all. This is better than shopping for clothes!

A Humbling Experience

Last October 16, 2006, I embarked on a journey. I just jumped in without knowing the implications, cost and risk. I knew it will dramatically increase me market worth. It will make me versatile, allowing me more choices in terms of career. I had no idea what was to come.

I have agreed to take on the challenge of taking two semesters of Cisco Networking Associate training for instructors in two weeks. Now, I have taken one semester for a student before and on the third day of my training I got sick. Now, I have forgotten how hard it was that I got sick, all I remember is that I got sick and got better and passed the final exam and skills test. I thought I could pull the two semesters off with PhD reports and projects, teaching load, committee work in tow. I was able to pull off the first sem with some nice co-faculty members substituting for me and my boyfriend putting up with my tantrums and of course very little sleep. I loved what I was learning.

Come Sem 2. I knew I was drained of my energy already. I just wanted to get it over with. I still studied but half-heartedly this time around. I did not really love what I was doing anymore. The things I learned were just things I had to learn and nothing I really wanted. The skills tests were fine but the final exam was not. The day I took it, I was so dizzy and tired that I just wanted it to end but when it ended, the outcome was horrible!

It was a very humbling experience for me though. I had to study again, this time loving every word. It was hard for me to bounce back but I did not have much choice. I had to take it again in a few days. I had to read eleven chapters again. I was humbled and depressed. I only had God to look unto for guidance because I knew by this time, that no matter ho much I try to exhaust myself, I will not do well if not for his guidance.

My boyfriend was feeling helpless not knowing how to help me get through it. Worse part is, my first take was on the eve of our 18 months together. He tried to understand me, I know he did but it was something only I can help myself with.

A few days later, I took it again and with the help of the Lord and so many people praying for me, I got a really good grade. Whew! Now that's done, I'll be sure to read Semesters 3 and 4 ahead of time. I'll be sure to pray to the Lord for help and I'll be sure to love what I am learning because in the long run, it is really all that matters.

Thank you to all those who prayed for me, gave me pep talks, and were nice to me for the duration of my review.

Thank you baby for bearing all you had to while I was in distress. Thanks for patiently waiting until my schedule cleared again. I would not have bounced back if it weren't for you. I love you.

Last October 16, 2006, I embarked on a journey expecting to learn Cisco but I have learned so much more.

Monday, September 25, 2006

When an Eagle Takes Its Flight

There are days when the height frightens me but you have a way of nudging me enough to take my flight. I have moments of self doubt but your faith in me overshadows anxiety. You make me believe I can do anything I want, that I can conquer the world. I sense your fear whenever I spread my wings to explore the horizon, to own all that I can, yet you never stand in the way. You let me wander to the unchartered, trusting that whenever I do, I shall always find my way back.

And I will always do.

For my heart murmurs your name and my soul longs for your warmth. My wings will take me not to greater heights if not for your love, if not for your trust. So let me soar above the blue canvas and let me do so for you. Let me paint my hopes and dreams and know that when I do fly it is because your love has taken me so high.


Thank you for the words you say, but more thanks for the words unsaid, the actions that spell out love in ways more than one. I am grateful for the things I see you do for me and more for those things I do not see. Thank you for the thoughts you share and for those you keep to yourself for now.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

It's Raining Blessings

The previous post was written September 8, 2006.

That was PMS talking. I just posted it because I thought it was kind of cute and besides, that might prove useful one day when I need to see a psychiatrist.

When it rains it pours.

I'm not just referring to the nightly downpours that we have.

I got my letter of permanency the other day. At long last! Along with the letter came so many blessings!

  • I was invited to be a guest lecturer of systems analysis and design at NCC

  • I was invited to be Software Engineering specialist of the SPIDER (Sweden's Program for Information Communication and Technology Development for Developing Regions)

  • I was invited to become the Cisco QA for the Philippines

  • I was invited to take CCNA for instructors

  • I was invited to go to Palawan for the CIO conference of the Commission on Information Communication and Technology

  • The partnership with an adjunct faculty from Monash University was approved

  • My baby still loves me!

Of course, these will be a lot of work but I am already very excited.

I have enrolled Graph Theory this trimester and I don't know what will happen next. Hopefully, I will be able to do good in my subject and be able to deliver in my other activities. I hope I will not neglect swimming. I can see I have already neglected my Aikido. I hope to be able to come back soon. I miss it terribly. I am glad, I am back to swimming, stair climbing and crunches.

I cannot help but thank the Lord for all of the blessings that He is sending my way.

Thank You Lord.

It's raining blessings and I'm not complaining! :D

Missing the Beat

What do you do when you begin to question what is? Is it a reason to panic when doubt eats you up because you begin to wonder if everything that you have worked so hard for is beginning to fall apart?

I have always been the pragmatic one. I look ahead and I worry of what is to come. When I worry of what is out there, then I begin to doubt what is in the now. In the past, I have taken trips into the future, but lately, the loneliness in the struggle to paint a better picture of what is to be is taking its toll.

When finally, this was brought into the open. Gently, the cold fact revealed itself to me, I realized that I will just have to learn how to look past this because though we may be dancing to the same music, we were dancing in a different beat. While dancing in the same beat without stepping on the other's foot is already difficult, it gets harder when you are not in the same beat.

It is not my wish to stop dancing, nor do I pray to follow a different beat. I do not wish for another partner but I do pray for acceptance, that I may see beyond this and that we may eventually, without forcing ourselves find our feet one day move to a common beat, the beating of our hearts united as one.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Pains and Joys of a Term's End

Term break has begun officially last Thursday. It spans 11 days and currently I am on my 5th day of vacation. Well not really a vacation because I have so much to do. In fact, I have much to do, I decided to post my to do list. This way, if I am unable to do my tasks, I will have to face the embarassment of not being able to do all those that I promised to do on my blog. All these I have to do in, the remaining 6 days that I have. Oh my...

So much for a break. I'm counting my blessings though. I can't imagine how I'll manage all those if I had to teach as well.

Last term went well for me. I'm really blessed and I thank the Lord for that. Last term did not go so well for some of my students though. It was by choice if you ask me.

I had students who failed because they cheated in their project. How was I sure? They used servlets. These students were not taught how to use servlets. I taught them beans and jsp because servlets might be too complex for them given that their OOP foundation is very weak. To all those who graduated years ago, I am talking about a different specialization.

I knew they did not do it so I asked where in the program they call the doGet method. I knew they will not be able to answer that because they will not be ablt to find the explicit call in the program anywyhere. Eventually, (after draining me of my energy) they admitted that they cheated. You'd think it would end there. No. They were asking for a compromise. Wow... Talk about bargaining. I made it clear that they are in no position to ask for a compromise... Hello!!!

I asked them to write a letter admitting what they did. I did not tell the Discipline Office but I gave them a 0.0. A zero in the project is an automatic 0.0 since the project is 40% of their grade.

The did write me a letter which I got days later. They apologized but in their letter they stated, "... we believe we can prove that we have learned something in our subject. If indeed we did not meet the objectives of the course, we will gladly accept our punishment.." Aggh... How do you make these people realize that the objectives have nothing to do with their getting a 0.0. They cheated. In the handbook it clearly states that that merits a 0.0. Arg...

These students I remember to throw tantrums when they cannot run their Resin or their jsp files... I checked some programming assignments and found out that they also cheated in their homeworks and they have the gall to tell me they deserve to pass.

I did not want to look at their code anymore, until I got curious about an error that showed in the Resin window. I asked the students. I knew what was causing the error and I wanted them to realize where the error was coming from. Unfortunately, the student began to tell me things that were irrelevant, making it apparent that they did not do the project.

They later on admitted that they did not do the project. How stressful it was to fail these students. To think I have spent so much time trying to help them learn the concepts. One of these people came to me regularly, asking me things that were as basic as passing parameters and creating constructors. I have not been as disappointed with my students as I was this first term of this school year. Sometimes, I just want to say... what a waste.

On a lighter note, a student of mine in Personal Effectiveness (similar to ORIENT before) texted me, telling me that she failed. It touched me, that she asked me...

Miss, I need your advice. Kasi I'm not sure if comsci should be my course. I'm really sad cause I failed compro and algtrig. At first I only thought that I would fail compro but I didn't expect to fail Algtrig. I used to believe in myself because my family and friends had high hopes and now I let them down. I act happy, I fooled them into thinking that it's okay. I'll do better next time but right now I don't think I can. The only think I can do well is to cheer people, make them feel better.

I am glad that she saw me as someone she can talk to. In the end, she realized that it's not yet too late and failing these subjects does not mean she is going to be a failure all her life. I told her of a friend I had who failed COMPRO and when she took it again, got a 4.0. I told her that this girl is now enjoying programming more than ever and is receiving a very high salary. I asked her to reevaluate her performance during 1st term. It may be, that there were things she should not have done but did or things she should have but did not.

I know where she is coming from and how in college, failing a course seems like the end of the world but it's not. I know so many who failed a subject or two or even more who have good jobs and are having fun. In the end, it's not the grades that will matter in college but what you learn that will. Of course, I do not tell my students this, this is strictly need to know basis because they might not take their studies seriously anymore.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Movies Move


This film made me appreciate my job even more. I realize that I am living the life I want. No fastforwards, no need for rewinds and definitely, I find no interest to skip chapters of my life. I like the way it is going.

Sure, I might not have the most money or the most powerful position but I have clients who are younger than I am, smiles and laughs with me. I don't have to call them sir or ma'am and most of all, I do not have to suck up to them. It makes me happy when they get what they want. When I do get clients I do not like, I know I only have to bear with them for three months and then I would not have to deal with them again.

While the others need to go to work early and stay put until the end of the day, I can come to school later so long as my schedule permits. I can do what I want most of the time, provided I finish all my deliverables, hence I find time to attend to my Aikido, swimming, reading, DVD marathons, dating and so much more.

And so even if at times, people look down on my chosen profession, I just quietly count how blessed I am that I have this job. While so many search their whole life of something that can make them happy, I have found mine at an early age. I guess it's true what they say, teaching is addictive.

On a lighter note, my boyfriend and I were looking for Rob Schneider's cameo, as he always has one in all Happy Madison films starring Adam Sandler but to no avail. I found out later on that he's supposed to be Prince Habibi... The big nose definitely derailed us.

The Devil Wears Prada

I loved the outfits showcased in thsi film! I mean... Wow! Is there an opening to a fashion magazine post? Sign me up please!

Why is it that Hathaway always plays this person who is in need of a makeover? She always gets one, except in Brokeback Mountain where her character was beyond help. Her bare breasts still flashes somehow when I see her face. That flesh exposure was unnecesary and tasteless if I may say so.

This movie made me fear the industry even more. The politics and the brown-nosing is something I was not designed to do. It's against my principles. The signature bags, shoes and clothes had their appeal of course, but they're just not worth my precious sleep at night.

I enjoyed this film but I think the part reason why I was entertained aside from the glamour of the clothes and accessories is the little game my boyfriend and I were playing. He was waiting to gloat at the weakness of Hathaway's character, Andyin resisting a guy in the film and I, being the girl had to stick it out for Andy.

This is a good film. I wonder if the book will entertain me as much. Our library doesn't have it. Darn. I'll have to buy one if I want to read it. It can wait. I'm currently reading Pride and Prejudice. To sidetrack a bit, I have finally read Jane Austen's Persuasion and apart from it being a satire of the old customs in England before, I found it rather boring. Not as boring as Scarlet Letter, Austen tells the story in less words but I guess I was expecting more romance and found none. People in her era are so frigid. Pride and Prejudice is proving to be a more interesting read.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

I was not so happy with this film. Maybe the fact that I saw this after watching Meryl Streep has affected my judgement but really. Most of the jokes in this film moved around sex and flirting. I don't know why I expected more from this film to begin with.

At the end of the film, it's really just an empty flick with a cute title.

My boyfriend and I like to binge on movies a lot. We find it therapeutic I guess. I love watching with my boyfriend, it gives me an excuse to snuggle up to him, not that I need an excuse hehe...

Monday, August 07, 2006


I saw Sukob with my boyfriend. I only wanted to spend time with him. Believe me, I'm not just trying to be conio when I tell you I did not have much interest in watching it. I was more excited to be with my baby who has been busy with work lately.

That was until after a few minutes into the film. After the first few minutes, the film had my full attention. It was like a rollercoaster ride and I should know because I have been on soh many rollercoasters! Dang it just kept on making me jump and shriek... I think I even waved my hands in the air out of sheer shock! My beau was probably blacking out already from all the screams I was belting out in his right ear.

It's a shocker film alright. I do not recommend the film to people with poor heart conditions... Really, the movie houses should have a warning sign outside. People with heart problems should not see the film.

It pretty much followed the formula of Feng Shui. The protagonist starts out as happy as can be and then she realizes she is cursed. The protagonist finds out that what she has and finds out about an antidote but then the antidote won't work. But wait... a few more popping-out-of-nowhere-watchamacallits, gory deaths and ugliest dead bodies later, the protagonist will realize there is a way to rid herself of the curse and just when you think everything is all better (of course all horror movies should have the "unexpected" ending) it's not.

When I put it that way, the movie seems formulaic... oh wait it is. It's almost not scary but add really good background music (which was really good by the way, well it's that or I am just jumpy), and Kris Aquino's skillful, mastered over the years since her Myrna Diones story, just the right pitch to make the hair on your back stand kind of shriek and it makes a frightening movie. Make sure you empty your bladder before watching this because you just might not be able to hold it in (No, I do not speak from experience.). It doesn't hurt to bring someone to hug too, it would be great if that someone smells good, has great biceps and oh so cuddly!

I enjoyed the film but I do not want to ever see it again. Ever.

Ponder - ain

It was raining hard as we waited in the car. The rain drops trickled on the windshield making rhythmic tapping sounds. The raindrops as it flows down the windshield like tears rolling down one's cheeks seem to hypnotize me, drawing me in.

He reclined his seat and then mine so I can rest my head on his chest as we waited for the rain to stop. I was in my nook . The place where I feel loved, warm and safe. Soft music was playing in the background in spite my insistence that he turn it off before he discharges his battery. Being the engineer that he was, he did not listen. The tapping of the rain against the body of his car and the steady beat of his heart, were music enough for me. It was as romantic as it can get, lovers stranded in a car in the middle of a flooded parking lot.

Gathering his thoughts, he asked me, "Remember when you told me that you fear that you might end up being ordered around by your husband?" Of course, to this I replied a resounding and definite yes. I grew up in a matriarchal household and I do not have plans of marrying and becoming an underdog in my own home.
Well, I thought I'd tell you that I don't want to be an underdog in my home too. I do not want to be "under" my wife. You know what I mean?". I asked him to define "under" but instead of formally defining it, he just told me I knew already. Yeah, maybe I have an inkling...

I know how he feels, he must be thinking I will not lift a finger when it comes to household chores. I have after all, said it a thousand times. I do not cook, I do not like cleaning the house, I do not like domestic chores. Sure, I said all these things but I did not really mean I will do not do these things at all. I had to end his suffering, so I told him, I do want to learn how to cook. More than anything, I want to be able to take care of him, love him and be a good wife to him and a good mother to his children. He need not worry about that as I do not need to worry about him ordering me around as he always assures me. Though, I did clarify that I will want him to wash the dishes if I cooked. :)

It was only during the moment that I was saying all these out loud that I really felt that burning desire to do all these things. I do yearn to take care of him. I look forward to cooking for him, waking him up in the morning, loving him. I look forward to that day when I can contribute to his dream of having a home. I do. As the rain poured outside the car, I came to the realization tHat I have found the man whom I do not mind to cook for or take care of. I have found the man whom I can truly say I love.

As it rained harder, we talked about what we dream of doing for each other one day and it just made my heart swell in gladness and gratitude.

After we poured our dreams out to each other, as if on cue, his phone vibrated. His friends were already in the restaurant. They have braved the rain. while silently, I worried about my five hour old shoes, he told me he was going to carry me so I would not have to worry about my shoes.

He carried me on his back as he held his umbrella. It was like one of those romantic Korean films except I could not keep myself from laughing and shrieking as we ran for the restaurant.

I got a little wet from the rain but I have never felt so warm in my life. Now who wouldn't want to take care of a man like him?

Monday, July 17, 2006

Car Trouble 101

Today, as we were entering the North Wing parking of SM Mall Of Asia, a car rammed us from the back thereby, causing several scratches in the fiber glass part of my brother's 2001 RAV4. Now I know that the damage can be ignored and I know that my brother would probably not have it repaired but how the accident happened is something I cannot turn a blind eye to. Let me expound. We were in line so we can get into the building while a black Honda car was trying to cut the line. My brother was already ahead of him but he was insistent in cutting the line. He should have braked already but did not and so, inevitably, he hit the left rear of our vehicle. My brother alighted the RAV4 a few seconds after we got rammed. The other driver who is in his early or late forties, am not sure, chose not to alight. He waited for my brother to knock on his window. I supposed he wanted to pretend that his car never touched our vehicle. He did not even want to check if damage has been done to his vehicle. When finally he alighted his car, he insisted that it was neither of us at fault. Another interpretation of what he was saying is that it was my brother's fault because his car backed up. Hello! My brother's car is automatic. This provoked me. Real bad.

If there is anything I hate the most, it's liars. I hate that he was lying to us, not admitting that he was in the wrong. That he really was cutting the line, which explains his very awkward position in traffic. He refused to accept logical reasoning and I was hopelessly trying to explain to him. I was really nearing hysterical. In retrospect, I regret the way I treated him. It was un-Christian of me. I am sorry but I am only human and very vulnerable to losing my patience. I do not have patience for people who like to pretend that there are no laws of Physics that we mere mortals have to follow whether we choose to or not. I hate having mimicked the way he spoke because I was getting frustrated that he seemed to not understand what I was saying. It was indeed racist of me to mimic his poor Filipino. I hate talking to foreigners who cannot speak fluent Filipino or fluent English. If you can't speak either language, get the hell out of our country. Okay, that was just inhospitable but I just do not like it that he is in our country and yet he has the balls to lie about what has transpired. After a few minutes of discussion, he finally admitted that it was his fault, if we really wanted it that way, he said. He was willing to pay for the damages for 500 bucks. What?! I do not think we can have it repaired for a measly 500 bucks. I explained to him that there is a Toyoto Manila Bay five minutes away from us and if he truly believes that the damage is not as big as we think it is then we can easily prove that by going to Toyota Manila Bay. He insisted that we go to a place that he knows that repairs car. I told him that we cannot possibly agree to that because that will just inconvenience us further. He was insisting that we do that. Seeing that this will not be settled any time soon. I asked one of the guards to call the police. We were lucky because the police got into the accident area soon and they saw that we were rammed from behind and so it was not our fault clearly. It was the other car's fault. He told us that if we cannot settle the matter then and there, we will go to the Task Enforcers Group Office to discuss the matter. There will have to be trials and it will be a long arduous process thus, inconveniencing both parties. We still argued some more until he still would not settle and so my brother and I decided to just go to the TEG office. Then he settled. He gave my brother 2000 bucks for the damages. I originally asked for 3000 bucks which was the estimate for the damages done on my friend's car similar to what we had. It took us several minutes to settle this. It was exhausting and I hated it.

We could have had a normal conversation if he only chose not to lie but I guess that's the reflex of anyone in the wrong, be defensive. I know I should have been more patient and more civil. I guess, my quick temper got the better of me, as it always does whenever I get into an accident. I feel bad about how I treated the man, especially since he was older than I was. I was being self-righteous and I am sorry for that. However, I also know that this experience would teach him better. I hope it will. I just do not like how he behaved in traffic and how he behaved after he inconvenienced someone. The least he could have been was to be apologetic but instead he pinned the blame on us. I was really shaking earlier, not because I was scared, but because I was so mad. I was angry that he has reached that age and he thought he could manipulate us and the events that have transpired. He thought he could really brainwash us into believing that we were in the wrong. Sorry mister, but that is no way to treat the youth of today. If you think that you are talking to clueless people, you're not. Next time, just admit you're wrong to save yourself from a long painful discussion. Next time, I will also learn to just call the police and be civil about it after all, I did not get anything out of it but a tanned skin and probably a couple of wrinkles.

Oh well... You live, you learn.

Friday, July 14, 2006

If there were a pageant for procrastination, I'd be one of the contenders hehe... I just like to take things in my pace. No rush. The scenery is nice when you don't rush. Well... most of the time it is. It is currently 4:21 in the morning and I am yet to accomplish the things I had hoped I would today yet tomorrow is another day err... today is another day. Before I officially end yesterday, since I end the day by sleeping at the end of it -- oh just indulge me, just one more post.

For the simple things you do that makes ordinary days super, I want to thank you. Thanks for carrying my stuff when we walk around the mall.
For having my best interest at heart even when you have to overlook yours is something I cannot thank you for but I have it on my tab so I never forget I owe you. Did you know that you make me feel so beautiful when you gaze at me the way you do? If you did not, I want to thank you anyway.
For each time you have gone out of your way just so you can make me happy I want you to know I am grateful.
There are a million more things to thank you for like reaching for my hand when I need you to, or when you need to or for no reason at all gives me the assurance that you need me. For putting your arms around me, for always having a ready smile for me and for having the soothing tone always regardless of whatever mood I am in are all priceless.
I may not write everything down but I have everything in my heart. I just wanted to think of all these things before I went to bed so in case my mind forgets, I'll have this blog to look back to and when I do, I'll have gratitude in my heart.

Work In Progress

I just realized tonight that I have not been giving my best in my Aikido classes. I always come to class unprepared. I do not practice outside class time and most of all, I do not review my lessons. I have not even mastered my vocabulary. My teacher would say Japanese words and I am still clueless. I have become the type of student I do not like. If I were my own teacher which, figuratively, is true, I would scold me. As such, I resolve to study outside class. I would take down notes now, outside class though, I do not want to look like a nerd in our dojo. I don't understand why we're not encouraged to take down notes... I'm not kinesthetic... I'm visual!

I also noticed about myself, it takes me years to really apply something. Take for example skating. My mom enrolled me at a roller rink when I was four. I was not learning at all, I just kept on falling so I stopped my lessons. I was able to glide when I was nine- five years after my lesson. I learned how to swim when I was eleven. I had a ten-day learn-to-swim program. I was able to swim after but not as instructed. I only got to swim properly ten years later. I was enrolled to learn how to play the piano when I was five, I am still a work in progress but I can read notes better now than when I was five. It was only when I turned 17 that I actually showed interest in learning how to play. I was never interested in the piano when I was five. I was so bored then but I went because I thought I had to. I did not know how to dance, at least not until I was 19. I did not even know how to feel the beat and timing was very difficult for me. I'd like to think I can now dance better. I could not sing a single song from a videoke machine without someone guiding me back when I was 19... I'm still not the best singer there is but at least now I can sing on my own. :)

Maybe it will take me more than five years to be able to get good at Aikido but I know someday I'll get it. :)

Oh yeah, there is something I never did learn- volleyball but then again, who cares? :D

If the Price i$ Right

Everybody has a price, what's yours? -Pirates of the Caribbean

In the world we live in, there are times when we are given a price for something. A comfortable life for your loved ones for the time you spend away from them. A good promotion for every year you spend working instead of living life. A low grade for every moment you spend having a good time instead of studying. The comfort in being in a familiar shore for the price of never knowing what is beyond the horizon. The list just goes on and on. It makes me wonder if, in paying the price, we do get what we have bargained for. Everything has a price, it just a matter of knowing what it really is worth.

Will the same apply to a person? Does everyone really have a price? Can we really exchange our very selves, our integrity, dignity, for a price? If so, what price is high enough?

I know it was just a movie, but, I like to get my money's worth by trying to digest what can be digested from a 150 PhP ticket.

#0000 or #FFFF

I like Pirates of the Caribbean because it is so much like the real world. I extend my aplogies to purists out there but what I like about the film is that characters in it are not black or white. What is good or bad, who is good or bad are blurred in the film. One minute everybody is against a character, the next, everybody is on the side of the character in question.

In real life people who are self-righteous would like to label the right and the wrong, however, not everything can fall neatly under the right or wrong category. For the aforementioned reason, we have debates, lots of them useless debates that in the end resolves nothing. There are cases though where debates are unnecessary, thanks to a baseline called law. Sometimes though, I feel that the law is too harsh that it loses its meaning and purpose.

Jesus never said do the right thing, He asked us to do the loving thing. When wa always use the law to judge right from wrong, we can sometimes lose sight of what is loving and what is not, forgoing the welfare of the person in question.

In life we pass judgement on others, and others pass judgement on us. It's sad because people tend to be black or white when they do. We are more complex than black or white. We'd have a much broader spectrum if we had more compassion in our hearts.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Passing of a Storm

"When I am weak then I am strong"

Paul said this in his letter to the Corinthians. I could not understand him better as I listened to this with my boyfriend beside me. We had a fight the night before. Not really a fight. More of me throwing a tantrum. I was depressed, I think I was PMS-ing and took it out on my poor, innocent boyfriend. I was bored to death yesterday and in retrospect, I now know that I shouldn't have been bored because I have so many productive things that I could have done but did not. Instead, I chose to sulk and feel bad and wish that my boyfriend was by my side. To clarify, we had a movie date last Thursday and another movie date last Friday. Still, I could not get enough of him and I wanted to see him yesterday but I did not tell him I wanted to see him. I did not want to admit to myself that I was being needy and clingy because I just don't want to be like that. Most of the time, I am not like that... well except when my hormones choose to wage a war against my sanity. Obviously, yesterday my sanity lost the war and kaboom my victim of a boyfriend had to deal with his crazy girlfriend. Thank goodness I have such an understanding and mature boyfriend, he talked some sense into me after three hours, maybe more. I was asking for a Sabbatical from the relationship because I was being too needy and clingy and to cure this, I need to detach myself from the object of my "addiction", I told him. This is how I became a non-softdrink drinker. I was getting so fat from all the softdrink I was taking so I stopped completely and I haven't taken a bottle for more than nine years now. I used to not eat fries too... but since he became my boyfriend, I occassionally give in but I still know my limits. I used to not eat chocolates too because I got so addicted to them too before. That is how I handle things. I get rid of bad habits by depriving myself. Call me an extremist, maybe I am. I was not asking for a breakup. I would never want that, I simply did not want to miss him so much that it hurt. I don't want to be too needy because that is just bad. Why am I being so clingy? Because a part of me is anticipating the work that he has to do next week. He will not be going home for five days for a system upgrade. He will be staying at a hotel with his officemates so that nobody will need to go home anymore. Everybody will be on duty all the time. In short, next week, he won't have much time for me and it hurt me that he did not even drop by last Saturday to see me when he knows he won't have time for me next week. I could not take it anymore, so I broke the silence and told him about how I felt.

Thus began our long and arduous task of resolving the matter. He spent hours convincing me that getting rid of him for one month will not solve the problem. He assured me that it will just make things worse. In retrospect, he might be correct. Here is what I suggested. We both take a sabbatical. I do my stuff for one month, alone. He does his stuff for one month alone. No calls, not text messages, no seeing each other for one month. Right now, I am grateful that he really held on last night. I am also grateful that he was able to talk some sense to me. I felt the Lord guiding us both last night. It was just a really bad episode of PMS. Today I am great. I am happy as I could ever be. Perhaps his calling me up before six in the morning helped. He called me up so we can jog at the oval in the Rizal Memorial Stadium. I was touched that he woke up really early so we can jog. It was my first time in the oval and it was really fun jogging there. My right foot hurts a bit as I type right now but it was really fun to be able to work out with my baby. We heard mass at the Shrine of Jesus, The Way, The Truth and The Life in Macapagal and then we walked to the Mall of Asia to eat at the Pancake House. I had my fill of French Toast and Country Sausages. He knows that's my comfort food whenever I am sad hehe...

Thank you for being strong during a weak time in our relationship. I thank the Lord for being there when I was misunderstanding you. I am glad that though I was being unreasonable, I am glad that with all the things said and done, we got out of this storm unscathed and our relationship still intact and stronger than ever. I want you to know that I am very grateful that I have you in my life. Never would I want to lose you. Thank you for having the patience to listen to my rants. You have no idea how much I appreciate you. Thank you for accepting me as I am. Please know that I will do my very best to not let that kind of episode ever get in our way again. I love you baby. Thank you for not losing your patience, thank you for not hurling hurtful words at me when you had every excuse to do so. Thanks for not screaming in my ear, for not hanging up on me. Thank you for holding on. Most importantly, thank you for letting me know how much this relationship means to you.

Though we had a tough storm the other night. I am glad we walked out of it still standing tall. Now I know there might be strong winds, and we may yield and bend every now and then, after the storm we will stand tall.

In Summary

Within the past few days I have:

  • Gone to Subic and...:

    • Swam in open water with my boyfriend and his badminton friends

    • Stayed at a nice company house courtesy of my beau's badminton friend

    • Binged on Tostitos and salsa (This is my latest addiction)

    • Ate at an "Original" Razon's in Pampanga (We loved their puto and of course their specialty, palabok and halo-halo)

    • Saw The Eye all over again with screaming smashers

    • Sang 'til the wee hours in the morning

    • Sang some more the following day until we were ready to hit the road again

    • All in all I had a smashing good time with my boyfriend and his friends

  • Gone to a Wedding and...

    • Got to be a secondary sponsor

    • Suck all the breath in my body so I can fit in my tube top

    • Freaked out for fear of being late for the march

    • Was a total nervous wreck until my number

    • Sang with a live band

    • Had a great time after my number laughing my heart out

    • Rode with two co-faculty and my bf to Laguna and back

    • Sang, sang and sang some more

    • Went malling after we got back to Manila (at this rate we do not take vitamins yet)

  • Worked a whole lot and crammed even more...

    • Finished the Review of Related Lit of POS Taggers

    • Reported about a POS Tagger my partner and I like

    • Reported on Machine Translation

    • Finished the Review of Related Lit of Corpus Builders

  • Watched movies with my boyfriend and...

    • Saw United 93 with my bf and we both hated it (By far the most horrible film ever written). Especially if you have seen Loose Change

    • Saw The Lake House and loved it. I am going to read Persuasion by Janet Austen, it seems like a good read. I am also going to watch Il Mare (Is this how it should be spelled?) The Korean film where the movie is based because I loved it! Never mind that Keanu is gay or that Jessica Zafra says that Sandra Bullock has only two states in this film, perky and Prozac. I love how it highlights patience in love. True love should be patient. Darn. That is something I need to work on. I highly recommend this film. Not a heartbreaker. I was able to predict some parts but the ending was such a nice surprise.

    • Saw Failure to Launch with my beau and it was a cute and funny film as promised in the trailer. The plot was not as I expected it. I did not expect a Hitch-type of character there but it was all good.

    • Saw The Inside Man and loved it as well. Really good film. I was at the edge of my seat all the while.

    • Saw Superman Returns and loved the new Superman guy who happens to be kind of cute. I don't know why I kept on guessing if they changed something about Superman like did he evolve to something or are they going to change his weakness. It's like for a while I forgot that what I was watching is just really an adaptation from a comic book. The movie is still for kids and so most parts remain the same. That and a little twist in the end. Lex I think is not at all that bad in that film because he did not kill anyone, at least not directly. Maybe I have seen too many heartless villains.

    • Fell asleep while watching X-Men 3. Gee, I don't know why this always happens, I have nothing against them in fact, I love the X-Men cartoons... Maybe I just don't like how they were portrayed in the film or maybe I was just tired... yeah right!

    • Saw Da Vinci Code and enjoyed it but not as much as I enjoyed the page turner book

    • Enjoyed each and every film with my boyfriend. It feels nice to be able to watch a movie with my head resting on his strong shoulders. It's nice to have arms wrapped around me when it's cold, hands to hold when the film is crushing me inside and eyes to gaze at during mushy moments.

  • Threw a tantrum...

    • Stayed on the phone for hours

    • Argued endlessly with me beau

    • Realized how blessed I am to have an understanding and loving boyfriend

    • Admired my boyfriend's ability to understand my quirks and topaks

    • Woken up by my boyfriend who woke up extra early so we can see each other on a Sunday

    • Jogged around the oval of Rizal Stadium at 6 in the morning

    • Heard mass with my beau at 9 in the morning

    • Had breakfast at my fave breakfast place, Pancake House

    • Completely enjoyed my Sunday morning with the man I truly love! The man who chooses to understand me when it is easier to judge me.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Hong Kong Trip

I'm a bit late in my blogging because I have been, as always too busy.

May 5, 2006

Morning of May 5, we were at the airport, falling in line at the Business Class of Cathay Pacific because my brother's ticket is Business Class due to problems with booking. He was not included when we booked and so at tha last minute we could not squeeze him into Economy Class. As I was taking pictures, my brother said that my sister's passport was expired. I passed it off as a joke but then my little sister reacted and my brother did not retract what he said. It was then that I realized that my sister's passport was expired. I felt bad for her because she was the most excited for the trip. If anything, I think she's the only one excited for the trip.

I was not so eager to leave because I'd rather be with my beau on our anniversary than in some foreign land filled with Chinese speaking people. My brother's girlfriend was leaving the country in two days and he admitted to everyone that he would rather stay here in the Philippines but my sister wanted to go so badly. My heart went out to her as tears welled in her eyes.

Knowing that all flights were booked already, I knew there was no chance that we can leave the following Monday. After that Monday, I would have other activities already that I can no longer escape from. My mom and sister alighted at the Depertment of Foreign Affairs before going home. They were going to process my sister's passport. It was Friday, and the passports normally get released after three working days. They were taking their chance anyway.

Lo and behold, I got a phone call from my mother stating that my sister's passport will be released! I had to book our tickets again but no booking was available so I had to book for Business Class tickets for the three of us as well.

Thank God, we were able to leave at 12 noon that day. My sister got to go, after all the hassles that she went through.

We stayed at Disneyland Hollywood Hotel for a night. We spent the rest of the day at Tsim Sha Tsui. Hong Kong is pretty much still the same as I remember it. The following day, we went to Hong Kong Disneyland Resort. Of course Disneyworld and Disneyland in Anaheim are better than HK Disney. I have to say though that HK Disney is better than Tokyo Disneyland. :) That night, after we witnessed the fireworks display, we transferred to Holiday Inn Golden Mile. It's near the Ocean Center which is good. I have that place memorized. There were some nights when I went out on my own to go shopping at the Esprit outlet store. :)

The day after Disney we went to the Victoria Peak and dined at a posh resto there. While dining, we noticed something in my mom's drink... It was a cockroach... a very small cockroach. We informed the manager and the manager offered to let us dine for free but my mom paid anyway. To think they charge more than six times an ordinary meal in HK!

After the visit at the Peak, we heard mass and then we went to 188. It's a building of Anime and video games. My sister's eyes sparkled in delight. We stayed there for hours until I can barely walk properly. :) Good thing I was wearing my trusty Havaianas at that time :D!

The following day we went to Ocean Park! My fave park. I vowed that if I ever went back I will ride hte Blue Dragon coaster. I failed to ride it before because my first visit was when I was four. I failed to ride it again when I was nine because all I could stomach then was the Spider ride. I failed to ride it when I was thirteen because all I could handle was the Crazy Galleon. I failed to ride it when I was fourteen because I just had my appendectomy at the time. Before I got to the highland where the Crazy Galleon was, we had to go to the lowland first. I saw Jing-jing and An-an, the pandas under the care of WWF! They are soh cute!!! After that, I noticed that I have lost my leather camera casing which freaked me out because my boyfriend gave that to me! I frantically searched for it but to no avail.

Glumly, I still took some pictures, my mind never letting go of the fact that I have lost the camera case. I got to ride the Blue Dragon, but I am never riding it again. The coaster cars were poorly designed. The cars were too big and the seatbelts too far apart so that your head will bang left and right while the coaster is moving! I do not recommend this ride to kids.

Before the day ended, I went to their Customer Help Desk and asked if they found a Canon leather camera case and lo and behold they did. My family accompanied me to the lowland again to get the case. I was so happy that at the end of the day I got to be reunited with my boyfriend's gift again!

The following day, we just spent shopping at Causeway Bay adn other different places. The day after that was still devoted to shopping and strolling. I had so much fun!

We went to the airport at around 7pm. We had to walk a lot so we could stay at the Business Class lounge where they serve free food, and they have really cozy couches and entertainment systems. That is the life!!! :) I can get used to Business Class lounges hehe!!!

The food in the Business Class is excellent too. The entire trip we just ate. The seats were high-tech and spacious too! The lavatories had Dermatologica products and it was indeed pleasurable. The service was great as can be expected from any Cathay Pacific trip. Oh I forgot to mention that we got to meet Jose De Venecia on our way to HK. He was in Business Class too and I got to have my picture taken with him! He was nice to all of us.

I will be posting some pictures here when I find the time!


Sunday, June 04, 2006

Grains of Sand

Slowly slipping away are the grains of sand in an hour glass while we live our life each day. The clock ticks and another second goes by forcing discipline and equality amongst the children of the Universe. Rich or poor, good or bad, all are subjected to time.

As I watch the hour glass, I see my life going by. People aging every year, growing in time.

I wish I could stop time, keep the grains from falling into oblivion. Then again, if the sand stopped flowing, would life hold any meaning to me at all? Would a second or a minute be given the same value? I think not. I think what makes life worth living is knowing that every second, every minute counts.

One day when most of my sand has slipped away and all there is left to do is to recount the days gone by, I will look back to the last 525,600 precious minutes that I have shared with my boyfriend with gladness. Those little grains of sand have not fallen into oblivion but into memories housed in the deep chambers of my heart.

My first year anniversary ever, had to be spent in HK because it was the only available booking at the time the date was set. It was moved several times but at the last minute, it fell on the 5th of May. And so the night before, my boyfriend and I went out. He treated me to a dinner at Masas... I was just wearing jeans and Havaianas (I was hung over from our Bora trip)! During dinner we exchanged greeting cards. And then before he walked me to the unit, he gave me three pink roses.

I had to burn him a CD containing pictures of his officemates from Bora. I was very sad then because I did not want to leave him here. Partly, I was a bit sad because the day I have looked forward to is about to end... well technically it was about to begin but essentially, I was looking forward to celebrating the day with him.

When I stepped out of the unit to hand him the CD, he handed me a box from his clutch bag. It was a light blue box with a white ribbon. I read the card slowly, aligned with the words, yours forever was an embossed Tiffany and Co. logo.

I was already crying while opening the box. I knew what it was. The bracelet that I have wanted for years now. He had it engraved with my name and his and our anniversary. I was already crying as I thanked him and I apologized for being so glum during the night. I really did not want to leave but I knew if I did not, I'd also kick myself later.

Thanks baby for loving me beyond what I have ever dreamed.

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Boracay Bliss

Last month, my dream of going to Boracay came true! As if going there is not enough, I got to go there with my baby along with his former officemates. We went there on RORO. It was nothing short of an Amazing Race marathon.

My boyfriend and I started in Makati where we left at around 4 in the afternoon to meet up with his friends at Amkor in Sucat. We were supposed to meet them at 5pm. It was a good thing that my boyfriend was a good driver, he got us there with time to spare which we used accordingly to buy food as we did not have enough time to eat dinner. We all hopped into a van that then took us to the port of Mindoro.

From the port, we found ourselves racing for bunk beds! We spent two to three hours on the ship. While there, we climbed on the deck and marvelled at the vast sky speckled with stars. It was breathtaking... and freezing! Thank goodness my boyfriend was there to hug me tight and keep me warm.

Alas, the three hours were up and we had to race to the van that was described as yellow. To our surprise, it was not yellow at all... it's part of the Yellow Van the company! Thank goodness we found it in spite the misunderstanding.

The van ride to Kalatagan took longer. I fell asleep but I think it was around two to three hours. It was supposed to be bumpy but I was too tired and too sleepy to notice. When we got to Kalatagan, we all knew we were only one ship ride away from Katiklan! I was soh excited! This time though there were no bunk beds on the ship, so we spent the rest of the morning on the deck, under the velvet blanket encrusted with diamonds.

It did not take very long til I fell asleep. I woke up with people walking around looking out for the sunrise. We were only an hour away from Bora! I took some pictures of the people on the deck as you can see below. The journey was not that long actually but the thrill and excitement of getting to Bora made it longer than it is.

Finally we got to Katiklan where we purchased tickets for the boat ride going to Boracay. We had to pay for an Environment Fee for who knows what because according tot he local we were with, Bora was maintained by the local government and not by DOT. The lines to buy tickets for the boat ride were so long, but the local we were with, Dox was so nice he fell in line for all of us. He is so accommodating! As in. He is the best tour guide anyone could get for a tour of Boracay.

Finally our boat docked in Bora and you can just imagine my excitement the moment my toes touched the pure, white sand of Bora! It was heaven! I have never seen sand so pure in my entire life! I loved the sand so much I did not want to walk to the Roque's Place anymore. I wanted to stay there and just play with white, pure sand... Of course I could not just abandon them so I went.

Roque's Place was okay. It's near the beach front and it's new so the bathroom was very clean. Five people can fit in one room and I suppose the room is also affordable since that's where we stayed in accordance to the advice of Dox. His brother is a master diver there and has volunteered to make the necessary arrangments for us.

The food in Bora is okay but you must try the All-you-can-eat Mongolian Grill... I had fun there with my baby. The first night i was too tired to stay up but he second night we were there I think I stayed up til the wee hours in the morning. I was so wasted by the time we were leaving Bora due to lack of sleep.

I also got to try the Banana Boat with my boyfriend and his officemates! It was fun! Another must try!!! We also went island hopping and snorkeling... I did not enjoy this experience much so I won't recommend this. We were going to try out the Flying Fish but we already ran out of time.

There were so many stars their, like Richard Gomez, Lucy Torres, Jackie Castillejo, Alessandra de Rossi and the only one that mattered, Marc Nelson!!! My boyfriend forced me to have my picture taken with him. Thanks baby for your consent! ;D

While there, don't forget to try their local Halo-halo, and the Choriburger tha came highly recommended by a co-faculty. It only costs 40 Pesos, we almost paid 80 bucks for one, we thought it was 80 Pesos each. :D

After three days and two nights, it was once again time to go home. The trip home was not as long as the trip going there. I guess it's coz I'm not really in a hurry to get back to Manila.

I had fun! Not just because I have always wanted to go to Boracay but because I got to share this wonderful experience with friends and best of all... with my boyfriend whom I love dearly. Travelling with hime whether by boat, tricycle, car, is fun because I have his strong chest to lean on when I am sleepy and his hand to hold on to when I am afraid and his eyes to look into when I want to forget everything around me. I love you soh much baby! Thank you for bringing me to Boracay but most importantly, thank you for bringing me to a place more special than anything, your heart.

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Singled Out?

I am overly stressed right now. I feel like my head is bloated and is ready to explode anytime. I do not understand how I could be as stressed as this and it's my summer vacation. The term has not even begun yet.

Once again I am shunning things I must do. Fearing to get near them, thinking I can run away but to no avail. I have to face everything and know that if I do everything will come to pass. I do not know why my initial reaction to things is like this. Is it the same for other people? Or is it just me? I do not remember being like this in the past. When did I start being like this... The earliest that I can remember is my masteral thesis.


I cannot evade the inevitable.

Must get back to work.


I have a lot of beautiful events in my life to write about but right now, I am in no condition to do so. My mood will just taint the memories I have. So 'til next time when things are better for me, I will write again. For now, I have to get back to work.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

My Last Few Weeks in a Few Sentences

I haven't been writing becaus I have been so busy living my life. That and well, the last few days have been very stressful with all my responsibilities. I thank the Lord for giving me the strength so that I may deliver.

Happy Sea-leventh!
Last April 5, 2006, I celebrated with my baby our eleventh month together. We had dinner at Dampa's Trinity. I did not know where he was taking me until a few minutes before we got to Dampa. I have been longing to eat at Dampa and he surprised me by taking me there. I got to taste their super yummy enselada which is now my new favorite. They overcooked my favorite inihaw na sugpo but it was still good for me hehe... I ate almost all the 1Kg of Sugpo. We had a seafood feast, My baby got three jumbo tilapias and lots of calamares! I was so full. I felt like I was just going to be rolled out of Trinity like a beach ball. After eating I just had to stand up because I was so full. I felt so guilty after. :D

Thank you baby for the wonderful eleven months. I know sometimes it's difficult for you but thank you for always understanding me. I love you soh much! I am truly blessed. I look forward for more months with you.

I am really having a difficult time trying to recall what I have been doing the past few weeks I have not blogged. So let me try to see what movies I have seen these past few weeks.

Eight Below
The dogs were awfully cute. The dogs will really steal your hearts. I thought it was going to be super corny but it wasn't. It turned out okay. I did not realize some dogs can act better than some human actors I know. The movie was a bit gruesome and violent for kids though. I mean there's a part there where the dogs ate parts of a Killer Whale. What about kids who have seen Free Willy huh? Won't they think that was Free Willy they were devouring? Disturbing.

D' Lucky Ones
My sister asked me to accompany her to see the movie. It was sheer torture. I do not know why they come up with movies such as this. I have to commend Ms. Eugene though, she did a really good job. All the rest of the cast I think lacked something and she was not able to carry them all.

I can't recall other films I have seen so maybe these are all the films I have seen over the last few weeks. I am doubtful but I can't recall anymore films.

Stainless Longanisa
A new book by one of my favorite authers, Bob Ong. Another good book. I could not put it down. It's a very easy read anyway if you have a sense of humor. It's a funny but a profound book. It had a sad ending for fans like me though. :)

Scarlet Letter
Christi Fermin is Nathaniel Hawthorne reincarnated. Okay, pardon the exaggeration but really sometimes it feels that way. He is very wordy to the point that you will have to pause to catch your breath even when you're not reading aloud. He is gifted with abundance of words and I know he chose them carefully but to use them all in one sentence should be a crime. Then again who am I to judge a classic. I have not finished it yet since I am still catching my breath from the last chapter that I finished. :)


I had to spend time away from all other leisurely activities because I had to focus on my duties as a teacher, CCS-Pagkamulat coordinator, Summer Camp facilitator and Practicum coordinator.

It's a nightmare that I am yet to wake up from. Hehe... Sometimes I am just so exhausted from doing all that I have to but realize everything will come to pass.

I have recently joined together with my mom and sister the Musubi Aikido Practitioners of the Philippines. We have been attending classes for weeks now. Currently, I am at the 5th kyu. After 30 sessions I'm going to try for the dirty white belt, we'll see. So far, I am having fun. It's very exhausting since one session lasts 2.5 to 3 hours. I have learned some basic moves. I have yet to perfect them but it's a good start. I am still swimming and doing crunches and climbing stairs. Hopefully I'll lose weight soon!

Splash Island
It' pretty ironic that we were able to visit Disney World's Blizzard Beach way before we got to visit our very own Splash Island! We went just last Saturday and I had a blast. When you're a teacher, I guess you can never escape your students! I saw a student at the wave pool while the waves were on and I was wearing goggles. Wow!

Car Show
I went to a car show at the World Trade center. I had fun ogling at cars I can't afford. :) I took pictures of them with the Canon IXUS 750 that my dad bought me. I keep on forgetting. I need to charge the camera! I ran out of bat 15 minutes into the car show so i had to make do with my 6630. :) I saw a student in that auto show too! See? What did I tell you? My beau had fun taking pictures with his D70S too!

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After the car show, we went to Pier One and had dinner. Of course I had to order enselada again. Yummy!!! We had sisig and sinigang... but I loved the enselada!!!

We headed for Baywalk after and went for a walk to look for a good band. Most bands were playing oldies song so we got to traverse the entire length of the Baywalk strip. I was indignant when I saw a tram on the sidewalk honking its way out of the mob. I hated it at first sight! Who thought of that? It is by far the most stupid thing that they have come up with. They should take that out before that hideous thing takes out a child. There are children on the strip too. They play there. Not to mention these mechanical gorillas are destroying the concrete tiles! Somebody has to stop that tram's operation. Maybe they can transfer it to Luneta or some place where it can be more useful.

Anyway after I fumed my heart out, we found ourselves sitting on the ledge discussing things in depth. Some of the things we discussed, we did for the first time. Our views, at least some of them were unexpected but I am grateful that we had that talk.

Holy Week
I had an apathetic holy week. I did nothing special. i just saw Tagalog movies and just really bummed around. I felt I neglected my duties as a Christian this Lenten Season. It was quite a challenge for me. I feel like I am drifting from the Lord and I do not know why. I resolve to do steps that will lead me back to Him.

I did not get to go to La Union again. I was a bit sad because I did not get to spend time with my baby. I felt bad because I did not get to do the Way of the Cross with him. The Holy Week was very difficult for me. I missed him so much and I knew I should not but I did anyway. It did not help that my mom was teasing me all the time.

Wow this is quite a lot already. I am a bit tired already. I know you are too so maybe I'd continue this next time. I'll post pictures next time. I don't think I have enough patience to do that still right now. I have to swim still.

It's amazing how we can live 24 hours of a day and 7 days in a week and 4 weeks in a month of our lives and yet be able to summarize it in a few sentences. I hope we're really just overlooking details.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Film Feast

I just realized that I have seen so many movies in the past week.


How many times can a mirror crack before it breaks?
How many times can a vase break before you throw it away?
How many times can you throw away a cat before it never comes back?
How many times should the wave come back?
Tides will pull in and out endlessly
As the world moves around unceasingly
So does love.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

D8 3T

After the outreach, I went out with my boyfriend. We have not seen each other all week, save for the Wednesday night when we got to see each other for five minutes. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I know we are both very busy and though we do not get to see each other often I know that he is in my heart and I am in his.

We saw a movie at the Powerplant for the first time. The first time we tried to see a movie there, we were not able to because Flight Plan was no longer showing, all theaters were showing Harry Potter 3! I was so disappointed then, I think we ended up going to Greenbelt instead.

The loveseat was great because it felt like a couch! We always watch movies while snuggled close to each other except for that one instance when we saw The Legend of Zorro at the Platinum Cinema at Gateway.

Before the movie we looked around the mall and then we had dinner at Monk's. We had three variants! The waiter made a mistake and prepared two chicken dishes for us. They were all good though and I am not very proud to admit that we ate all that we ordered plus the extra chicken dish!!! You should try the food there. The Hunan Chicken and the Fish and Tofu are my favorite! The Chicken Cashew was okay too.

After the movie, we had our fave ice cream, Hagen Daz and then we went to IO KTV where my baby sang his heart out. He can sing almost anything! I had a hard time singing last time, my voice was cracking probably because of the lack of sleep. I haven't been getting enough sleep for days! I had fun nonetheless. By the time I got home, I was soh sleepy already. It was after all, a long but really beautiful day! I love days like that. :D

Reaching Out

Museo Pambata with Open Heart Foundation Kids Posted by Picasa

Yesterday morning, I went to Museo Pambata with my other students to spend half a day with children from the Open Heart Foundation. Most of the kids have been there before also with the same batch of students who were with me. I had fun with the kids! I had fun especially since it was also my first time to go there. The kid I was assigned to was very affectionate and she was not very shy so I got her to open up to me easily. She has six siblings and she is the second child. She wants to become a nurse someday so she can help the sick.

Her dream filled me with hope and I pray that there will come a day when all her dreams will come true.

It was a morning well spent. There is no better vacation than to hear the laughter and excited shrieks of those kids. I thank the Lord for giving me the chance to experience what I did last Saturday. No words can express how glad I was to be with kids and to be with real Lasallians who choose to spend the Saturday morning with the needy than to get extra hours of sleep. I have never been more proud of them. Last Saturday is their last outreach activity as students. They will be graduating this June.

Thank you Catch 2T6 for the heart you have given to the poor that you have consistently helped.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Ang buhay, parang basketbol. Ilang saglit ng pagaalinlangan at maaring lumipas ang pagkakataon. Ilang beses pang ipasa ang bola at ang oras mo'y aalpas. Bawat sandali ay mahalaga, bawat pasa, bawat hakbang dapat ay may kabuluhan dahil hindi maghihintay ang mga segundong dumudulas sa ating mga kamay. Maging mailap man ang bola, di dapat mawalan ng loob sapagkat tulad ng basketbol, matalo man o manalo, sa huli ang tanging mahalaga ay ang iyong lakas, puso at isip na ibinuhos mo sa iyong laro.

Subic Sabik

Last Friday was the longest day and shortest night of my life. Allow me to expound.

I could not wait for the day to be over becasue I was going to watch my boyfriend play basketball and at 4:00a.m. the following morning, he was to pick me up to go to Headstrong to ride the bus going to Subic for their company summer outing! After my PhD class, I went home to just eat and then headed straight for the gym where they play. I got lucky again because I got to see part of the second quarter again.

I saw my baby shoot three points again! He is a great player and there are some in his team who are okay too it's just that I think they lack teamwork. I don't know. I am not a player nor am I a big fan of basketball but I think there is something amiss in their team.

After the game, it was already about half past ten then, we headed for Blue Wave to have a fix of Ice Monster. It was great that there was a live band there. I had fun watching them play. I got home at around twelve already and he got home even later. We only had enough time to pack and catch a few winks. He planned not to sleep that night so he was sure he can wake up early next morn... He planned. But not all plans materialize and such was the fate of his plan.

He woke up past four and so while I hurriedly took a bath, he hurriedly drove to Taft to pick me up. It felt like we were in one of the episodes of Amazing Race! We made it one time and got seats next to each other in the bus. I was able to catch some winks while in the bus. I could not help but feel sorry for him because he had really long legs and hte space in the bus was not for people who were more than 5'2"!

A lot of my students were in the outing. I knew this was so when even before I got seated, there were those who started shouting... "Hi miss!". It was nice to see them again!

When we got to Subic, I was just soh excited. I got to use my baby's Aviator gift! I just love them! We got settled in the cottage that we were to share with other people and then we started hunting for chips that can be exchanged for prices. I went diving for chips... the pool as always got me excited. I changed into my swimsuit... splashed some sun block and was well on my way to my diving pursuit... ala Lara Croft in one of those Tomb Raider training mode haha!

I saw one of my former students after my diving challenge. She is a student turned really good friend. Who said students and teachers can never be friends? I love hanging out with this student of mine. She's more like a barkada to me than a former student really. I was glad to see my boyfriend and my friend click.

I got to meet my boyfriend's officemate and I think he clicked with my friend too because most of the time they were together. They even sat side by side on the way back to Manila.

The outing was fun there was good food, a Bohemian party where I got to wear my skirt, swimming and bowling where I got to score my first 90! I also got to play billiards with my all around athlete for a boyfriend. He also happens to be good at darts scoring triple bullseye... He is quite a freak I tell you... It's good that I can swim, at least that's where I am better than him at. We also sang our hearts out with the videoke machine! of course, lots and lots of pictures were taken.

My father sent me his gift to me already, a Canon IXUS 750. I got to take some photos... I'm still practicing. Hopefully, I'll get my very own serious Canon 20D haha :)

I also had a slight mishap when the sandals of my Nikes gave in and I had to search for a needle and thread. Thank you baby for helping me find a needle and thread. He offered to sew for me but I assured him that I can sew. I love you!

It was an awesome weekend with my baby and my students. Below are some of the pictures.

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Club Morroco Posted by Picasa

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Got Lucky Posted by Picasa

Club Morroco's Ceiling (not my shot) Posted by Picasa

Grand Stairway (not my shot) Posted by Picasa

All Mine Posted by Picasa

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