Wednesday, October 07, 2009


i have read some of my entries from the past and I just realized how sloppy my blogs have become. I used to really pause for a while and organize my thoughts, now I just rant and rave without thinking about structure. I really must fix this problem.

I took a trip down memory lane and it is quite surprising how things really do not end up as one plans. Sometimes we feel like we know what is in store and yet years later, you find out that all there was was an illusion. Is the illusion of a future but an incentive for us to keep on trudging on to the unknown? I know you might say I am still not over Frankl but it really makes me think. Did I convince myself to conjure up all those thoughts just so I can march on to what they call "future"? Did I sabotage my own future because of this illusion? Was it then that I had an illusion or is it now? Did I sabotage my future then or am I sabotaging it now? Such are my questions. i do not have answers and I will not even pretend to know the answers. Reading my past blogs made me realize how useless it is to pretend to have answers when we really do not have an idea what they are.

In the meantime, I have my here and now and so I shall focus on this. I know that the Lord's hands will hold me and He will never let go no matter how much I try to evade His love for me.

Good night everyone! I still have five hours to sleep. I hope the Sandman visits me as soon as I close my eyes.

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