Monday, January 14, 2008
She's Come Undone
I am not the kind of person who buys a lot of books. I love reading don't get me wrong, I am just a thrift when it comes to books. I always think of how big our library is and why in the world I am in wanting of a book not in the library.
This Christmas though, I got a copy of She's Come Undone from Vince's sister Veena . Thanks Veena! As I did not feel like working at all during the holidays, I decided to curl up and read the book. I finished it after two days! I could not put it down. I kept on waiting for things to get better for her. My pace should clue you in on how miserable her life was. it took that long for the character to redeem herself. *sigh*
This book should come with a warning. People easily depressed should not even touch this book. Seriously though, there are so many points in this book that one can ponder on. It was a sad read but it was still,definitely, very good. It's a story of evolution and adaptation. It portrayed how indeed, life is a jungle, the wild, where the strong preys on the weak and where the weak eventually evolves into something that can thrive in this place called society.
How to Find Your True Love
Firstly, I was disappointed to find out that Bo's book is already 350 Php. Not that it's not worth it. It's just that before, his books were just 150 Php each. I bought hte book anyway because I have been trying to find a copy for a long time. It was out of stock in most National Bookstores that I have been to! I know you might be wondering what I am doing reading this book. No, I am not trying to find another true love. I am simply checking if how I found my future husband was the right way of doing it. The answer? A resounding yes.
I think I did most of the things that he adviced in his book:
1. Take responsibility of your life.
Long before, I have resolved to save up for my life in the future as a single woman. I, like most girls, also wanted to get married but I am aware also that there is a possibility that I might not be meant to marry so instead of splurging on outfits and other things, I saved and invested.
2. Know what is stopping you inside.
This has never been my problem haha! Seriously though, I chose not to have a boyfriend during my college days so that I may be spared of the long sermons from my mom. I promised her and my dad that I will not get into a relationship until after college.
3. Talk to Lots of Guys.
Most of my friends are guys. Though I come from an all-girls school, I have had guy friends from childhood and it also helps that I have a brother. It was never hard for me to be friends with guys. Also, I joined the Singles Apostolate and I found myself having more friends there male and female. I also joined Center for Arts where I had more male and female friends.
4. Have as many friendly dates as humanly possible.
I did not have as many friendly dates as possible but I did go out on dates.
5. Be Attractive.
In Bo's definition, smile, look approachable, and put on a bit of make-up but make sure you look natural. Bo says an amazing personality never fails to capture a heart but you have to capture his attention first and it does not hurt to look attractive. Hey, Bo's words not mine. :) I think I looked okay. Though, as I recall clearly, I was in the worst state when my fiance first saw me. It was at ATC after the Discernment Seminar at St. James and we (Bhennie and I) were waiting for the prayer meeting. I was having a bad hair day. I let my hair down and I could not braid it because I had it layered and some parts were way too short. I have not seen my fiance then but we have talked a great deal with each other already. Oh, and if that is not enough, I discovered there was a hole in the right armpit sleeve of my shirt! I was not particular about how I dressed especially when I attended prayer meetings since I felt like I should just go there to pray and not for anything else. This was also a phase in my life when I was trying to practice simplicity. I refrained from buying new and branded things. (in case you are wondering, I am no longer in this stage hehe, though it may look it sometimes)
Suffice to say, I looked terrible the day I met him. I was wearing a UP shirt (so he thought I was from UP) yes, the one with the hole. A high-waist cargo pants that I have had before college. A pair of Nike running shoes, I had my hair down and it looked like a hurricane just hit it.
6. Know what you want in a spouse.
My fiance asked me to create an Excel file of all the things I want in a boyfriend and all the things I do not want. Needless to say, I did not agree to do this. Still, he found a way to ask me and so to make it fair, we alternately told each other what we wanted and did not want in a partner. The first thing i said was patience, patience and more patience. Now he knows why. :) I love you baby!
7. Enter into courtship.
My fiance was purposeful but he did not make this clear to me immediately much to my annoyance. I do not like it when guys just drop hints. For me it's say it out right or just leave me be. Anyway, after we got that behind us, he became purposeful. We knew how to create space by allowing each other to continue each other's activities. I let him do his sports he let me do mine. We do not control each other's lives and I think this is one of the real reasons why we are still together. Well, aside from his enduring patience and love. ;)
8. Trust God and enjoy life.
Being the paranoid, cynical, pessimist person that I am, I worry all the time. I know that I should not worry about tomorrow and that I should live in the now but it gets to me all the time.
I think, more or less I did it right hehe...
Oh and yeah, if there is one thing I learned in the book that I should always remember... guys love affirmations. They like being thanked and being recognized for their actions.
Now there's a tip. :)
The book really is overflowing with so many wonderful things to ponder on and put into practice. Bo though has a condition for you to read the book, that you are in your mid-twenties and above. :D