So on to explaining how he did the thing that I could hardly wait for. I swear, I thought he would never ask! I know it has only been two years but you see, I am already 27 years old and I made a deal with my best friend that if at 27 I am still not bound to marry, I will go to a sperm bank and make an in vitro baby! Well, a few years after, I realized (with the help of my brother) that it is unfair to bring a baby into this world without a father. As you know, in sperm banks, you cannot know who the donor is. The kid and myself will never know who the real father is and is it not the right of the kid to at least know who his or her father is. Upon this new realization, I knew that I should not turn 27 without a husband! Of course this an order too tall since there are a lot of jerks walking on the planet. I was just blessed that the right man came into my life more than two years ago.
I know I am dragging the story needlessly... So let me continue.
June 20, 2008, it was a day as normal as any, I did not feel like taking a bath yet, I was still in bed when the phone rang. It was my boyfriend. He was making sure I was awake. Normally, he would call and I would hear busy people on the background, this time it was quiet. He said he just got to the building and he does not know where everybody was. This also happens to our faculty room so I just shrugged it off and moved on to the next topic.
He nonchalantly asked me what time my classes were for the day and I answered because it's a habit of his to ask about my schedule even if it were to really just that, to ask me. He reminded me not to be late for my 1140 class so after I hung up, I procrastinated for a few minutes and then braved the warm shower.
An hour later, I got into our faculty room and already, some of my colleagues were smiling widely, asking me about what I did wrong. Lo and behold, there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my messy table! The bouquet had carnations and gerbera and stargazers my favorite! It smelled lovely in my cubicle! There was a card that said, "I hope this will make you smile" Hugs and Kisses, vince. I was surprised that he was able to leave the flowers on my table. I do not know when he left them.
I was wondering what was the occasion yet no matter how much I rack my brain, nothing was coming. It was definitely not my birthday and most definitely not our anniversary. I just could not figure it out until I realized, it was almost time for class.
The class went well, we just discussed the thesis guidelines and such. After class, there he was when I turned for the stairs. I was so surprised to see him clad in jeans and a blue shirt and white sneakers. With him was his laptop and charming smile! I was so surprised, I think I yelped!
We had lunch at the Animo Canteen where we first had lunch together. (This was two days after I saw him for the first time), that time we had Japanese food. This time, we had Japanese food again! :) We spent lunch discussing my class and how I was going to deliver it. I was still thinking of how to go about it. I thought of a charades game over lunch so it would be fun for the students in my personal effectiveness class.
After lunch, I gathered my things and went straight to class. He followed me because he said he really wanted to sit in. So I let him. He just sat on one side of the room. He also participated in the activities.
We had the charades game first and the students had to charade words like love, respect, trust, partner, marriage, engagement, infidelity, commitment, faith, boyfriend. It was fun because the students really felt comfortable and were shouting words like sex, intercourse, virgin, etc.! Very candid and relaxed was the class!
My students were very participative that day because we were discussing relationships. Some students shared their past heartaches and why they ended the relationship. Some described painful breakups and so on. It was very touching that they shared. I really liked it that they chose to share.
I did not know that there are defined stages of a relationship:
- Sampling This is when you are finding someone interesting or attractive
- Bargaining This is when you try to evaluate a person and the consequences to come should you choose to go deeper into a relationship with the person. You analyze the cost and rewards.
- Commitment This is the part where you will leave all the others behind and choose just one you really want to have a serious relationship with.Evaluation of the person and the relationship will not stop here.
- Institutionalization This is when you sign a contract that says you will really work on the relationship. This is when you recognize that you want the relationship to be permanent.
Some of the other things that were discussed the phases of relationship failures:
- Lack of tolerance for the other
- Drifting Apart
I asked the students to form a human collage that will show a scene of a stage in a relationship. They were supposed to just pose and then the class was to guess what they were posing... This was also fun particularly because a group insisted on moving! We were calling them gif's! (Well now it sounds corny but we were having a great time then) And yes, my boyfriend participated in this activity as well!!!
We also discussed climates where a relationship can thrive:
- openness and trust
- not imposing on the other your opinion
There was also the ABC on love. Each letter has to have some tips to use to make relationships work. The students were also asked to come up with the words.
After I have handed out the assignments, I asked the students if there were any questions, they answered no but Vince raised his hand. He said he had a question but he wanted to charade the question. So he did, Sounds like: Wheel You Merry Me? I was like an idiot on the platform because I did not know what he was acting out I was screaming "Bike" instead of Wheel! It really helped that the students figured it out. I was flustered and I did not know what was happening really. All I know is that I wanted to throw things at him for making me think he was not up to something! I forgot that I was supposed to say yes, and that I was supposed to stand still so he can kneel. He was able to catch me and he held my hand, he knelt and asked me again, "Will you marry me?" I answered, "Yes.". And with his hand really cold and trembling, he put the diamond tiffany set ring (after a few attempts) on my left ring finger! I wanted to cry but I could not cry in front of my students. I was maroon from blushing!
My female students were so giddy about what happened and they were screaming "I want to be a teacher too!", another said, "I am going to tell my mom of what happened" (I hope her mom takes it well, I don't think Vince asked the Vice-Dean if he could do it in class). My male students yelled, "Right place, right time. Galing!". Yup, my boyfriend will forever be those kids' hero.
I love you baby!
Thank you for risking and laying your dignity on the line. Thanks for making your proposal so memorable for me and for my students.
Thanks for choosing to take our relationship to the next level. I don't know how things will go or what the future holds. One thing is for certain though, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you so let's get through this wedding thing.
Thank you Lord for leading me to him and him to me. This has always been my prayer over the years (started when I was in high school). Finally, I am in the arms of the one who loves me and the one I love so much. Lets hope that won't change as we begin to plan the wedding.
It's hard to express love in words as the letters disrobe it of its too profound meaning we spend a lifetime of discovering.
And so the planning begins...