Friday, June 17, 2005

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1030-1600 Mall
I have put off shopping with her at least three times this month and since I was really able to see a window in my schedule for our girl bonding activity. It was soh much fun... We went on a cosmetics shopping spree! I love shopping with my mom! I love my mom! She got me to buy clothes too. I did not get her to buy clothes though, it's so hard to get her stuff... she's soh picky. I hope she had as much fun as I did.
1600-1630 Gox
I went to our unit after my mom dropped me off to put all the Soya Milk bottles in the ref, hide any sign that I went shopping and prepare my swimming gear. Why did I have to hide signs that I shopped? My brother hates it when I acquire new items because it adds to the clutter that is already most of our 39 sq.m. abode. Went to Gox to check on my thesis adviser as we were supposed to discuss my thesis that day. He was busy with other work so I decided to swim first.
1630-1730 Swimming Pool
I walked to the pool, did my usual 20 lap workout + my 1/8 lap butterfly (I will get it right someday... I believe) and then took a shower. I felt soh tired and breathless which was weird because last week, the program barely exhausted me... I think it's because the water is colder now. I was still catching my breath hours after i swam... Weird.
1730-1800 PGP Chapel
I checked on my thesis adviser again and saw that he was not ready yet so I decided to hear mass first. I was late, yet again... It takes me forever to take a shower. I spend roughly 27 minutes swimming... all the rest of the time I am in the locker room... I have tried to cut down on the shower time but I just can't. I have to check my processes again and do some streamlining.
1800-1945 Consultation Room
My adviser and I talked about the thesis. I have a really long to-do list that I will be working on after this post. It's nice to have someone to talk to about my thesis. Enthusiasm is infectious and to have someone who really wants to hear about my work is really amazing. For so long, I have been working alone. It was horrible! Most o fthe time I was just guessing if what I am doing makes sense at all to the rest of the academic community. Affirmation, corrections, clarifications are most welcome. I am grateful to my adviser for having me and for doing his job. May God bless him.
1945-2000 Unit
I was having a hard time breathing and my heart rate I think has not slowed down since I swam. No, I do not think I was palpitating due to some medical condition... I was just exhausted from my workout. My baby called because it was his youngest sister's birthday and she was treating us dinner at Zong along with their cousins, sister, aunt and uncle. *** had a basketball game at 8pm and he just called so we could discuss the gift. I did not want to go to Zong without a gift and his youngest sister explicitly asked him for a gift from me and him. I was panicking... HP was closed already. I had no gift ideas. It dawned to me... we can bring a cake. Worse comes to worst, we can just give her a birthday cake. Bizu will definitely still be open. I like cakes. Since I was little, I felt a birthday was incomplete without a cake and a candle to blow. I like closing my eyes and making a wish. I don't usually remember what I wish for so I can't tell you if birthday wishes do come true.
2000-2130 Greenbelt 3
I got to the parking lot of GB3. The electronic board outside the basement parking said Full but I did not think walking from Park Square or Greenbelt1 will help either. I took my risk. As soon as I got the parking card, a Revo left a slot and just like that, I felt shopping will go smoothly. It did. I got a Marks and Spencer Aloe Vera Body Lotion and a Marks and Spencer Shower Gel and the biggest Samba Bizu cake. It was hot walking from GB3 to GB2 and back. The walk from Bizu to the parking was enough to make me sweat it out... well not the I-just-got-back-from-the-gym look but I felt really unfresh.
2130-2215 Unit
The trip from GB to the unit was not as smooth as I had hoped because there was a big volume of cars. Anyway, I got to our parking slot and then I had to climb three flights of stairs as our elevators from the parking are still out of order.
2215-1130 Zango
Going to Zango, I had to reply to his youngest sister's text messages because he was driving. His youngest sister strikes me as someone really intimidating. Perhaps it's because I seem to think the youngest are the ones harder to please, or maybe it's just the aura she exudes. I have no idea, what I do know is that she frightens me. Anyway, it did not help that we were two hours late for the party and she was texting *** that she wants to go home already. She texted him that they were closing Zong already and that they were the only ones left there. I was soh embarassed because they might think we're late because of me. She even texted *** in one of her messages that *** should have asked me to go ahead to Zong so *** will not have to pick me up at the unit anymore. *** did suggest that earlier that evening. I passed it off as a joke. It did not cross my mind that *** will drive them home and we may not all fit in his car. I realized this only as I was parking my car back at the condo. I suggested to him that I bring my car but he dismissed it since he said we were going to fit because Mao did not come. I felt bad when I read her message because of the following reasons:
  • it's her birthday and we're pissing her off
  • i do not want a bad impression, that I'm prima donna, making everybody wait... believe me, this is the last thing i want!
  • i wanted things to be perfect for her because her boyfriend was not going to be there and I know how terribly lonely that can be
  • his aunt was there
  • I hate it when things do not go as planned in spite my efforts

I was tired and frustrated and sad. Though I like acting on stage, I am not quite an actress off the stage. I am a very transparent person and so when I am sad, it really shows. I become very quiet (for my very noisy nature, this is very difficult to overlook). *** noticed right away from the far away look, blank stares, silence... He was trying to get me to talk about what was bothering me though I knew that he knew also why I was being that way. He was constantly reassuring me that everything was going to be fine. I knew he was trying his best to make things better for me but it just won't cut it for me at the time. A part of me was wishing to not have come at all. Had I known the evening will turn out as such, I should not have agreed to come. I wanted to evaporate right then and there... Can the aircon filter just suck me in? Anyway, we got to Zong and when I saw the youngest sister's face I just really wanted to disappear. She really looked pissed. I pasted a smile on my face though, it felt like eternity standing there, my facial muscles trembling almost to the point of cramps... I greeted his aunt and I sat adjacent to his big sister. I greeted the youngest sister happy birthday though she did not look so happy thanks to us being late. I don't think the gift made her smile though. She made a joke about Cello's and Bizu being always where I get what I give them... Maybe I really should have brought Red Ribbon instead as advised by ***. I wanted last night to be special for her. Oh well, I thought. Things can't always go as you plan them. I greeted his female cousin with whom I was fond of because she is always soh happy and she seems very easy to talk to and is always bubbly and animated. His uncle came and so I stood up and reached for his hand so I can shake it, he extended his other hand instead so I can bless. He seemed nice. He was teasing us all night about getting married and having a kid. I was just smiling. That broke the ice for me that night. After meeting his uncle, I felt better already.
It helped that *** was very patient. He did not throw a tantrum when he saw that I was not in the mood to talk. He was always reaching for my hand, holding it, reassuring me that he's there and that he will not leave me. I was on the verge of tears in the car because of frustration but while I was at Zong, I was on the verge of tears because of gratitude that I have somebody like him in my life. I saw his youngest sister smile for the first time that night (that was not camera flash-induced) when she opened the box and she saw that the cake had her name on it. Thank goodness I asked *** for the correct spelling of her name a few weeks ago!
1130-1215 Starbucks Fort
Before going home, we went to Starbucks. *** treated us to drinks. By this time, though I was still aloof, I did not think she was mad at us for being late anymore. Well... I hope... I sat at the back and we had his male cousin sit in front. They gossipped about certain people in their family. I could relate because I can remember some of the stories from ***. It was also fun hanging out with them. Just listening to his female cousing is enough to keep me entertained.
It touched me that though *** was around his cousins and his sisters he was still very, very sweet. He was always checking on me and never forgetting me. I love him so much for that. Last night started seemingly a bad experience but it turned out to be fun.
1215-0130
Sta. Mesa
Going home took a longer time than expected... My left foot became numb during the ride but I did not realize this until I stood up. My foot was unable to keep its balance in my stilettos, I think I got a sprain from this accident. I transferred to the front passenger seat after the cousins were dropped off. My foot hurt all the way. It still hurts up to now and so I am limping around feeling and looking stupid. I really hate it. I hope it gets better soon.

It was truly a hectic day for me yesterday and an even more hectic night. I was glad I got to do something for him for a change because it's him who always does something for me. He appreciated what I did and to me, though it should not be that way, that mattered more than the appreciation his sister showed.

***

Went to the emergency room today after my mom threatened me that if my ankle has fractured bones, there is a possibility that I will get operated on. I wouldn't want that since:
  • i like inline skating
  • i like stilettos (though i may deny it)
  • i am not a fan of stitches on my skin

Anyway, it turns out I do not have fractures whatsoever so I am going to be fine, unless the pain persists after 2 to 3 days, then I will have to go back and see an ortho. I finally got to use the FortuneCare card. I thought that was really useless... Hmm... It came in handy today.

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