Thursday, October 29, 2009

Why?

A student asked our BS group why we believe in God. She is not an atheist but sometimes she wonders why we believe when there are others who live their lives as they please and have no care about the Lord.

This question made me think. Why do I choose to believe in the Lord?

I choose to believe because choosing to believe is choosing to be saved, not for the afterlife but rather for this life, the one I am living now. My faith has saved me from the horrors of everyday life and I am not just talking about the many miracles I have witnessed happen in my life but rather the will to live that my faith gives me. My faith promises me that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, it tells me that the Lord will never forsake me and that He carries me in the Palm of His Hand. I know I am not perfect and I err on a regular basis but the Lord is always there to receive me with open arms. He knows me more than anyone in this world and He knows what my heart desires more than I do. At the end of the day, I believe because I need to believe to survive and because I need to know that I am loved with the greatest Love of all.

Before the session ended, I shared this song to them because this says why we have to believe in spite all the science there is. Even Einstein believed in the Lord. Even if quantum Physics is considered, one has to wonder why given all the probabilities, this version of the universe was created, one where lives can be nurtured, one that endlessly provides us with beauty and hope.

The following song is one of my favorite praise songs so far...

Redeemer


Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
and Who told the ocean you can only come this far?
and Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives:
Let all creations testify
Let this, life within me cry
I know my Redeemer lives, yeah.

The very same God that spins things in orbit
runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creations testify
Let this life within we cry
I know my Redeemer, He lives
To take away my shame
And He lives forever, I'll proclaim

That the payment for my sin
Was the precious life He gave
But now He's alive and
There's an empty grave.

And I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creations testify
Let this life within me cry
I know my Redeemer,

I know my Redeemer
I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
I know that I know that I know that I know that I know my redeemer lives
Because He lives I can face tomorrow
I Know I know
He lives He lives yeah, yeah I spoke with him this morning
He lives He lives, the tomb is empty,
He lives I gotta tell everybody

This Is It - My Experience

It was for me, ethereal. My toes are still barely touching the ground, my head is till in the clouds, my breathing still irregular and my heartbeat is still too fast.

All my senses still relishes the experience that was This Is It. The excitement and the thrill of it all was very difficult to contain, I wanted to scream and wave my arms wildly into the air but that was not the norm. I succeeded in repressing all the shriek but not for long.

It was what I have imagined and so much more. Tonight, I have witnessed what I have always believed in, the genius that was Michael Jackson. He moved with such cutting edge precision, embodying the music and the beat, you just see the rhythm flow through him like electricity to a conductor. He was not just a performer, he was a visionary, hearing and seeing things that other people cannot. He was a genius with a heart, a perfectionist who sought perfection not for fame but to give more of himself and his gift.

He just did not have room for mediocrity, he does not stop polishing until everything so blindingly sparkles underneath the spotlight. He is great and yet he is humble, open to novel ideas and concepts. He gives credit where credit is due and affirmation for work done with care and love. He was aware that he was the most essential component and yet he never forgot that that was only possible because of the other talents surrounding him. This video says everything that a person has to know about how to be the King of Pop. Humility, love, dedication and a truckload of talent.

The show was truly the masterpiece of many people whose lives will forever have the mark of Michael Jackson. They will never work as they did before meeting Michael because Michael showed devotion and dedication to his craft like no other. It makes me ask if these people realize how fortunate they were for having been able to spend the last few hours of Michael with them, to be able to witness the last few moonwalks, spins and jaw dropping choreography and vocals or if disappointment is eating them up because the show never got to London. I am sure Michael was disappointed to not be able to get the show on the road for the millions of fans awaiting his return to the spotlight. He was performing not just for himself but for the millions who drew inspiration from the magic that he created. His show was nothing short of an escape from reality. He literally transformed the stage, he was not just performing, he was speaking, opening his heart to share all that he has. I admit, his voice is not as powerful as before, yet no singer with so much power can sing like he does because he sings not just with his voice but with his heart. You just feel the passion that is overflowing when he sings, when he moves, when he shares his thoughts. I have been blessed to have seen the comet that is Michael that graces the heavens once in millions of years. I am fortunate to have been able to witness his very being in flesh some thirteen years ago, and even then, he has touched my life in so many ways, through his art, music and love for others.

HIs music will live on and his rhinestone-covered glove, his beaded socks and his penny loafers will always be reminders that once upon a time, a man stood under the spotlight, in front of a mic stand and gave all he had.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Miss Universe

The universe started in chaos and then from the chaos came order. All this order will one day end in chaos and the whole thing will just start all over again. This is the macrocosm of my existence.

I am in the process of chaos right now. Still, when all this chaos ends, a new universe will form. I hope to regain order in my life, I hope to regain happiness. I long for the day when all will move around their respective orbits and life will begin to surface again.

I used to think whenever I feel I have messed this life up that in a parallel universe out there, there's a version of me who is not messing up and is doing very well. I used to think that a lot... until now.

I have to stop wondering about other versions of the universe, I am going to be happy in this universe. I choose to be happy in this version of the universe.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Life's Like Stat

Finally done with my paper in my PhD class. This is just not going to end, I have a new batch to read again tonight. Argh! I think last weekend was more stressful because I had so many things to take care of, the technical report, the PhD paper, the exams and my sister's Stat exam. I really had to multitask. One minute I was thinking Psych another, I was thinking Stat. Thank goodness I had so much help in Stat and it was so fun too. The Psych paper paled in comparison unfortunately. I guess, at the end of the day, Math excites me more. I never thought I would say that in this lifetime.

A friend of mine asked me what I would do if for example he had three boxes with three balls of two possible colors rolling down. Two of them are black and one is white. I have to pick the box with the white ball to get the jackpot. He then opens one of the boxes and shows me that there's a black box inside, he asked me if I would change my mind. I thought okay, when I first picked there was 1/3 chance that I would get the white but 2/3 chance that I would get the black. When he opened one of the boxes then that would give me a 50% chance of getting the white or black. I was torn.

i initially had 2/3 chance of getting black so chances are, I probably picked the box with a black ball the first time I picked. There was a bigger chance that the ball inside the box I chose was black! So if he asks me to switch I should because I most probably picked the box with the black ball! How kewl is that?!

Wish he were my teacher in Stat, I bet it would have been awesome!

If I had known this years before, i swear I would have switched to the other box.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Next Stop

I am on one of the steam engine trains from the past. I am anticipating to get to my stop but the train, as I grow anxious more, seems to taunt me more by moving slower. I cannot wait train, please put on some speed. I need to be where I should be soon. Time is a-ticking and I cannot be in this cabin for long. I long for the warmth of the sunlight against my skin and the gentle blowing kisses of the wind on my cheeks. End this torture dear train and get me where I should be. I need to feel the solid ground underneath my feet again. I think I see the next station already, just get me there train, fast enough for my sake.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Fun-Gulat

I was too tired to talk about this last night. I was exhausted from lack of sleep and solving but we had such a blast last night after the Stat stuff that we did. My sister and I went to bed and my brother hid under the sheets. After I lied down, he startled my sister coming out of the sheets and shouting 'Boo!'. *wahaha* My sister broke into peals of laughter! When my brother got up to go the the comfort room, my sister and I came up with a plan to startle him back. My sister tried to squeeze herself under the bed but would not fit so she settled for the space underneath the Casio keyboard. Little did we know, my brother just pretended to go to the CR but he was actually waiting for me to go to the other side of the room. He heard everything that we were trying to do! So yes, he startled my poor sister again, helpless, and with nowhere to run to! *wahahah!* i think my throat hurts from laughing too hard last night.

Still, it was really fun!

Just like the good old days. :)

I remember before, I slept later than everyone else in the household because I needed some peace and quiet to work and because I like horsing around first with my siblings before I start working a.k.a. solve endless Calculus and other Math problems. The floor of my room and other flat surfaces are always covered with yellow sheets of paper with solutions. There was one night when an alarm clock started going off and I just could not find where it was. I was desperately searching because the sound was so annoying and was to loud in the stark contrast of the silence the early dawn provided. Alas, I found the darn alarm clock wrapped in yellow sheet with the message "At sa wakas, nahanap din ng ating bidang si Chabelita ang kanina pa nagkakaingay na alarm clock". I was laughing so hard! I think I cried from laughing *haha!*!

Also, I went to school long after my siblings have gone to school. I normally left my bag on the bed of one of the rooms in the house, I did not realize that this will invite a prank from my siblings. There was a time when I went to school with a clothes hanger, a couple of big batteries, and other junk in my bag! Of course I had to stifle my laughter when I discovered I had these stuff during class lest it would have gotten me into trouble.

Fun times! I am fortunate to have fun siblings for siblings! It sure makes life more exciting and it makes it easier to laugh.

Le Stat

I saw Statistics in a whole new light tonight. It actually became a family activity and not just any other activity, it was fun! *sigh* While we were racking our brains how to solve one of the problems, I felt as though everything was right in the world.

I think this has much to do with the fact that the sun is about to rise. I had to finish my technical report after the Stat marathon with my sister.

Thank You Lord for the beautiful day You have given me yesterday. May today be as beautiful. Thank You for giving me reasons to love each day. I always feel Your love for me though I know I am imperfect and not at all the daughter You may find ideal.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Swimming Upstream

There are times when I question why things must fall when dropped or why water when exposed to sun become rain clouds that rain on our parade. I do not know why the very water that keeps us alive can be the same water that drowns us. I suppose this is just how the world works, this is just how things are and as mere mortals we must accept this without question. Still, sometimes, I like to think that while the most fundamental things have already been decided by the most powerful force in the universe, the important details of our lives are still up to us. I would like to think that even though we mistakenly jump into a river flowing downstream, we can still, if we have enough life, passion and will, choose to swim upstream before we join the great waterfall.

Some weeks ago, I have chosen to swim upstream and I am panting and fatigue is taking over me, still I know that I must go on if only to find out if indeed I can. I may drown while fighting the natural flow of things, still I know that if I let the current just carry me then I might as well have drowned right then because it would feel as though my life has been lived for me, choices made for me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I still have major swimming to do (figuratively still, unfortunately).

Friday, October 23, 2009

Still Itching to Fly

I am really itching to go. I just checked out HK tickets and I found a pretty ok deal! I want to go! Can i? Can I? :)

Though, it might be sad to be in HK all alone and with cold weather and all, it will be quite a drab.

I really should be working on my technical report already! Argh!!! Must stop thinking about leaving because I have so much work to do!

Brink of Addiction

Wow... I was experiencing blogging withdrawal symptoms already. *haha!* I could not create a new post for a while. I need rehab quick!

I was just thinking about how we should be guided by our heart. I know the Lord is our Father and He wants us to be happy and He will not want anything that will not make us happy. However, how dow we hear what our heart wants? How can we hear it loud and clear? I think I hear my heart, I just hope I am hearing it right.

I was soh anxious about posting, now that I can post, I am at a loss for words or ideas *haha*! I have so much to do. So far, all I have done since yesterday was check papers. It does not take too long for me to check my parts but I am too lazy. This week has got to be the laziest of all my weeks. I have to start gearing up. I have a technical report and a paper due for Monday. Must. I seem to always space out. I think I need time for myself. I mean, a serious break. I think I need some vacation on my own. I'm regretting not going to France again *haha*! Why did I pass that up again? Oh yeah, I was up to my neck with things I had to finish.

Tomorrow ought to be a better day. :) Looking forward to it more or less. :)

All for now.

Hope

I have a mile-long list of things to do but I cannot find the energy to do them. I keep on sleeping *haha* and no I do not have dengue. I just want to sleep and sleep and then sleep some more except when it is really time to sleep then I cannot sleep. I have the most erratic sleeping pattern the past few weeks. I do not think it has anything to do with caffeine.

It's funny how I look in the past and I realize how dense I was. Signs were all over the place but for some reason, maybe it was pride or it was sheer stupidity, I ignored them. Ignored them all. Now, I have to face my present and trudge on to the future. Which reminds me...

Tonight I had a bible study session with students and we read Romans 7 and 8. It said that it is only hope if you hope for what you have not seen because if you have seen it already then you cannot call that hope. This gave hope a new meaning for me. I wait for my future with hope.

I said before in a journal of mine when I was way younger and sad to say, wiser, that love is not an opportunity because opportunity, unlike love, knocks only once. I said this with so much conviction, now that I have seen what the world is like, I say this with hope.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Itching Feet

A friend of mine is asking me to go to Macau!

*wahaha* I am not really sure I want to go. I have never left the country and spent for myself, usually I just get deployed and so I end up not paying for my fare or accommodations. Still, I bet it would be fun. I think Hong Kong will be more fun though. *haha!*

Hong Kong is one of the best cities I have been to because it has shopping, amusement parks, cool toys, easy transportation and it's very near! If I were to pick a city where I can do almost anything it would be Hong Kong. I have never been to Macau though, still something tells me Hong Kong is the better choice.

I would actually be happy and content with Boracay or Palawan. I love the beach and the parties during the night. :) I miss dancing at night. I wonder when I can go dancing again. I should ask one of my party friends. *hahaha* Another friend of mine asked me months ago, maybe it's high time I go. :)

Duh

I wish things were just black or white. I sometimes wonder if things are gray or if I am just insisting that they are. I guess not knowing what to do is the price we pay for having free will. There are so many directions that we can go and sometimes, without a clear instruction of where to go you get lost. We have been left with a map, yes. I check the map but there are times when I do not know what to make of the map. Is it me refusing to go to where I should or is it because I am reading the map wrong? How do mere mortals find their way around in this labyrinth of a world where there are too many turns and where turning back the time is an impossibility?

I guess at the end of the day, we just do things as best we can and hope for the best.

Laugh Therapy

My sister is still busy watching How I Met Your Mother and I cannot sleep yet. Darn! :) I understand her completely though, this series is soh addictive! I remember watching this nonstop and laughing out loud in my cubicle! *wahahah!* Hilarious! It does not fail to make me laugh so hard! I just love the character played by Neil Patrick Harris. He is such a great actor! After Howser M.D. one would think he's over but no, he definitely came back with a vengeance in How I Met Your Mother.

I find the series overly romantic as well. It really portrays how difficult and complicated not to mention it's like finding a needle in a haystack, it is to find a life partner but it makes the predicament seem funnier, hence easier to take. :)

I just love the feeling of being able to laugh out loud. I love hearing my sister laugh out loud while watching. I have taken laughter for granted. It was taken away from me and now I have learned that laughter is one of the most important things in life.

:)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Just Wondering...

Hoorah! I am not late yet! Deadline is not until the 28th! Whew! Thank You Lord!!! I am actually early! Paid already to get it out of the way already. I have to get the DOST Technical Report done so I can focus on reading the PhD papers tomorrow. Got so many papers that we need to read again for next week, it's like, no it is never ending. Do not get me wrong, I have fun reading the papers. I think I really enjoy Psychology. I might take it for real in the future for the benefit of my future children and of course, my dream preschool! :) Nothing wrong with dreaming ya know!

I had fun in my class again. I love this class because they have fun and then they keep quiet when I am saying something. I really enjoy teaching their class. I am glad I took this class. I was actually planning on taking a sabbatical on the non acad classes but I think I will miss the non acad classes if I do. I almost forgot about my class today! I was busy checking exams that I have forgotten about the time. It's a good thing I finished checking before one third of my class time was up.

I have not seen the exam results of my students but am hoping that they did well. I have seen the papers of other classes and i was a bit disappointed by what I saw. i hope my class performed better.

I think there is something wrong with me. I keep on searching for something and while I see traces of what I look for. I cannot seem to find exactly what it is I yearn for. Is it really that hard to find? Is it really that difficult to achieve? I hope that in this lifetime I will be able to uncover what I am desperately searching for. Lead me to that which my heart so desire dear Lord, You know me more than I know me.

Insurance

I had a blast from the past today.

I was filled with anger, regret and then, hope.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe that all that we are and what happens are part of the tapestry that the Lord is weaving together. I may not see the design now, but all that the Lord creates is beautiful. I just have to trust in Him.

On a less formal note, I hope that my Sun Life insurance due date has not passed. I have not received their reminder. Dear Lord, I pray that I am not late yet.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Out of the Box

I move in silence so no one can hear the unspoken words that are blaring in my head. I smile my brightest so no one can see the raging river of tears that are dying to flow. I hold my head up high so no one sees the shame that envelopes me. I am trapped in a box that I have willed myself to enter. I shut the world out, I wanted them to think this is how I want things. I thought the box could be a home but it did not have the warmth and comfort of home. It was cold and dark and damp inside, I thought I could thrive in that dark pit I have stayed in, I thought my life, my warmth, will keep me alive but the walls just kept on closing in and I was choking. I knew that if I did not find a way out, I will suffer an inevitable death, my flame blown out and I will stay obscured from the colorful world I once knew.

So I crawled out.

Now that I am in the open fields I shiver to the newness of things, I have been in the dark too long. The fear of the unknown at times makes me want to turn back and I keep on asking myself if I should have stayed, if I have given it all the warmth and life I had would that box have turned into a home. I think about it for a brief while and I realize no, it was never a home for there was no love nor warmth nor laughter. I look at the box now and it is not inviting me as before. All I see are the worn walls of the damp carton stained with tears and mud and rain. I sigh because I built all my dreams and hopes around it, I thought my waking hours will be spent there but I was never meant to stay there. A minute more and I could have lost the tiny spark inside of me.

So I stand outside trying to rekindle the little spark. I walk around pretending my flame is aglow but all I have is a little dwindling light, hoping no one will notice until my spirit is ignited again enough to allow me to live with fervent hope again.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

A Friend Returns

There are times when the wound is still too fresh that you dare not let anyone near because you are afraid that they might touch it and make it bleed all over again so you retreat in a corner and nurse your open flesh on your own. As everything else in this world, healing takes time, and because this is most of the time done in solitude, it feels longer than it really takes.

After years of not talking to each other, I was able to talk to this person. Last Saturday, he came back and for the first time, we were able to look at each other and genuinely smile at each other. The circumstance was not perfect but I felt good because suddenly I remembered how good this person is.

Welcome back. I am glad you are all healed. I have much to tell you but let's save that for next time.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Blogger's Block

I cannot seem to write.

Words escape me.

Ideas evade me.

I have written many things only to delete them again.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Before Sunset

I just saw Before Sunset today thanks to my sister who watched it as she ate her lunch and then left without finishing the movie. I decided to finish it. It has been a while since I saw it last. A friend of mine recommended it to me some years ago. I enjoyed the movie still, looking at it in another perspective, now that I have been through more in my life.

I just love their conversations and spontaneity of the two characters. I would love to have conversations like that. I only know very few people who I can really talk to from sunrise to sunset not running out of things to say to each other. I love that they were so comfortable with each other, no pretenses, no judgments. They spoke their mind and the other just listened, not judging, agreeing to disagree. *wow*

I love this movie, they do not even kiss and yet I find it overly romantic. Before Sunset is a sequel to After Sunrise (I think) I also have that title but it has also been a while since I have seen it. It's not something I want to see again but it is nice to watch it first before the sequel. I want to watch the sequel again!

I have my sister to thank for reminding me of this beautiful film

And yes, my sister is one of those people whom I can talk to all day and not run out of things to do or say. :)

A nice quote from one of the characters:

It is better to be alone than to be with your lover and be lonely.

Words of Wisdom

I know I should be sleeping now but I'm having really bad palpitations. Three glasses of tea = not a good idea!!!

I wanted to post this here just so I won't forget. Words of one of the old but wise people I know.

There are sure telling signs of a good relationship:
(1) We are filled with true joy, a sense of deep peace and immeasurable hope.
(2) We feel unusually interested in and responsible for the other person.
(3) We evolve "effortlessly" into better persons. 090918 (corrected)

Relief

I am happy that my ex replied to my message. He said he appreciated my message for him.

Just glad.

On the brighter side of things, I was able to read the first of two very thick chapters for my PhD and I enjoyed it. It will be very useful in justifying what I would like to do. *woot!* I still have another chapter that I need to read. Tomorrow will be another very busy day but hopefully when I get that out of the way I can focus on the second paper. I have no plans of cramming again next Tuesday, I still have a technical report to write. I will also be spending the rest of the week checking programming! *barfs*

Still, I have much to be thankful for. Thank You Lord for all of the blessings you tirelessly bestow upon me and my family. Please continue to bless us. We are always at Your mercy.

I would also like to share this video, this made me cry. It reminded me of how much we are loved by our parents and more so, by our Father.


There are no words to describe what you're about to see. It's all about HIM!

A Son asked his father, "Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?" The father who, despite having a heart condition, says "Yes". They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on to join other marathons. The father always saying "Yes" to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his fater, "Dad, let's join the Ironman together."

To which, his father said "Yes".

For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island.

Father and son went on to complete the race together!




By the way, those are Rick and Dick Hoyt also known as Team Hoyt. Yes, this really happened. *sigh*

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Sad News

I just found out from a friend that the mom of my ex passed away. I know we have not spoken in a while but I felt really bad to hear about this. His mom was very nice and very thoughtful. She has shown me nothing but kindness during the brief moment that I was in a relationship with his son. I know she is now with our Creator in Paradise.

Please say a prayer for her soul. Please also say a prayer for the family that she has left behind, especially her spouse. I am sure he is devastated right now. My ex is a thousand miles away in Germany taking his PhD, I hope that he is handling this well.

Daily Dose

I had a very busy day today. I was almost nonstop from morning 'til night! Nonetheless, it was a beautiful day.

I had a great time teaching again today. I like the feeling of seeing my students improve every single day. I want them all to learn and to pass the subject. I hope they will really try harder. There is soh much fulfillment in seeing a student do new things that before he could not do or was afraid to do. *sigh*

I also had to meet with my favorite thesis group. They are my favorite for two reasons, first, I think they work hard and second, their topic is part of my dissertation and DOST project. I thought it was a fun meeting that we had. In between that meeting I also received good news. I hope everything really works out.

During my lull time i was able to visit the site of Chico Garcia ! i have missed Rush Hour soh much! I mean I find Delle and Chico really funny plus the Rushers and their entries are also too funny! :) It's nice that Chico compiles the Top Ten entries on his blog and I get to read them even months after the Top Ten happened. I found the possible titles for Manny Pacquiao and Sylvester Stallone's movie funny! I found these to be hilarious:
1. Pac You
2. Buksingin Mo Ako Lalaking Matapang (Akin Ka Balboa) *wahahah* Sorry, I still find it hilarious up to now! :)
3. Mani at Rambu-tan (Para Sa'yo ang Mubing Ito)
4. Get Ready to Rambo

*hahaha!*

Seriously nuts! :)

After reading this, I had to get to class again and as I was walking to my class, alone, mind you, I had this big smile pasted on my lips and when no one was looking I was still laughing! *hahaha* The titles were crazy!!! Crazy I tell you! :)

As if these were not enough, I also have the Lord to thank for my wonderful nonacad class. I have the most fun block in my nonacad class! :) I love them! They will make anything fun. I supply activities that are meant to allow them to have fun but if the block had a snooty attitude they will not work even if I brought with me Time Zone! I love that they are soh game.

After my class I had a meeting where we discussed the questions for the exam. They loved the problem that I contributed. They said it was a very cute problem. *yey* Thank You Lord, I know You have much to do with that! *wink*

Anyway to cap off my day I had a nice bible study session. I really need all the guidance and I think all the sessions help. :)

Thank You Lord, today I felt your hug not just from the outside but from the inside as well.

Thank You.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Cheeeeessssy!!!

I know this is cheesy and unoriginal but this pretty much sums up all that I am feeling right now:

Heart, don't fail me now!
Courage, don't desert me!
Don't turnback
Now that we're here
People always say
Life is full of choices
No one ever mentions fear!
Or how a road can seem so long
How the world can seem so vast
Courage see me through
Heart I'm trusting you


This is from the song Journey to the Past. Not really going anywhere, am staying here in the present, nonetheless, I need to be strong for what is ahead.

Day is going A-ok so far!

Thank You Lord. :)

Messed Up

I really did not get to do much today because I had to cram for my paper *haha*! It's not because I did not start early, it's just that the paper was too long. The next readings are even longer... argh... I got another 4.0 today! *yehey* I know it does not matter if, I'm an auditing student but it still feels good to get affirmations every once in a while.

We discussed about emotions again tonight. Apparently, those people who get uprooted from their source of support have problems regulating emotions... I can soh relate to this. *sigh*

I have nothing much to say tonight really. I do not know why. Perhaps it's because I spent most of the day reading and writing a paper. I feel unready to sleep yet and yet it's already early in the morning. My sleeping habit is all messed up and so is this entry and sadly, these are not all in my list of messed up things...

Good night!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Just a Quick One

I have a really thick paper to read! Arggh... I just finished with the other thick paper and I can feel my eye lids falling. :) Yet, I find time to blog. This is really very addictive and therapeutic. Wow, oxymoron.

I had a great time teaching today! I mean, I seriously enjoyed my lectures. :) How vain of me I know *hehe*. I had fun because I think I am getting through to them. Thank God! I hope they will practice more on their own so they can finally get it. Teaching computer programming is like teaching toddlers how to walk. It's really a very emotional process for me. It embodies all the nice and horrible things that teaching offers.

I have so many things that I need to do, the list goes on and on, but I have much to be happy about so I must not complain.

Thank You Lord.

Now going back to that paper...

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Eureka!

Whew!

Thank You Lord for providing me ideas tonight. After I took a bath, ideas came rushing in. I guess, this is a way of telling me to take a bath before I start working too. :)

I am so relieved that I was able to prepare a presentation for tomorrow for the mock DOST presentation. I was also able to think of a COMPRO exam programming problem on 1-D arrays. I was really having great difficulty thinking of a problem. Whew! I came up with the problem while I was hearing mass. Thank You Lord!!!

A man from Mindanao who also belongs to the group Mamamayan Ayaw sa Aerial Spray spoke during the mass. He was asking for support so that we will sign a petition. They are being sprayed with pesticide through the aerial spraying that was being done by plantations in Davao. I think this is really terrible. Some of the residents that got sprayed on lost their eyesight, some got skin diseases, who knows what other harmful effect the pesticides have? My sister said she will boycott the company that does this. I am yet to find out about the companies who use this. I tried looking for them on the Net but I did not get anything. I hope they will really fix this problem. This violates the Clean Air and Clean Water Act!

After mass we went straight to the mall to have dinner. Guess where? Joey Pepperoni. I know I told myself I will not return for a while but my sister requested that we dine there. I had All You Can Eat Pasta. I had two plates. I swear I felt soh guilty afterwards! I should not have eaten that much! Anyway, their service was fast at least in my experience, I had only two plates. My brother had three and he said the third plate took forever to arrive. You might be wondering why I was not there, that's because my sister and I decided to scoot after finishing our two plates. We really needed to walk off the food. I know, like that can happen *haha!*. We can wish, can't we? My sister's 2nd plate was carbonara and it was terrible according to her. My brother and mom tried it too and they too were displeased. So word to the wise, do not order carbonara. :) Meat sauce is not excellent but definitely better.

Their service improved but if you ask me, I would still go for Sbarro. I mean their pasta tastes great! I think I am saying this because I do not really eat as much as my brother. Half an order is already good for me at Sbarro! :)

Before eating, we dropped by the Marian exhibit and marveled at all the different images of Mama Mary. It's October, universally known as the month of the Holy Rosary after all. :) I should try to say the Holy Rosary this month. It has been a while. I used to say it everyday. What happened?

Lost

Waaah!!!

Got a deadline tomorrow and I need to write something but nothing is coming. All I have is a flat line. My brain has not been most cooperative lately. I really should start observing correct sleeping habit. Argh... I feel like i know what I need to write but I cannot seem to begin.

I feel like an empty vessel floating in the sea, not knowing where to go. I really need direction badly. Maybe I just need focus. I might already have a direction but I am not focusing. Must...

Must think of a reason why I am doing this. When I have that, this should all make sense.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Against the Tide

I just finished reading Time Traveler's Wife and I found the book nice. It took me such a long time to finish it because books that interested me more kept on coming, books such as Like Water for Chocolate, Man's Search for Meaning among others. Finally, I have given it the time that it deserves and somehow in between reading it and putting it down, it has grown on me.

I enjoyed the love story immensely. It was mostly about waiting and defying time. I have never been good at waiting but hopefully, with all the things that have happened to me already I have learned a thing or two about waiting.

I now wait for what the future holds. I wait with faith and with hope.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

I Am Loved!

Today marks my first bible study session this trimester. I have to look after two groups. I was actually hesitant in accepting a group, because of the things that are going on in my life. However, the head, who also happens to be one of my spiritual advisers told me that there is not enough people. I even have to take two groups this term. So I did.

Tonight we discussed Romans 3-4. I love, love these two chapters because this is really what I need right now. The chapters assure me that the Lord loved me first. Even before I was born He loved me. He is willing to forgive me all my grievances, all I have to do is have faith. All this time, I was feeling inadequate, the chapters assured me, we all are inadequate. We are all sinners but because of His grace, His greatest gift, Jesus Christ, we have all been forgiven. Truly, the Lord is soh loving.

I also love the gospel today. The gospel said, if somebody knocks on your door tonight and asks for food because he had visitors would you give him food? Even if you think at first that you do not want to give, if the guy persists, would you not eventually give him food? So much more your Father. If you sinners can give food to those in need, how much more I? Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. :)

I love it.

Beat It

OMG!

Michael Jackson beatboxing!!!



I accidentally posted this to my other blog!!! I was that excited!

Musings of the Unamused

I just saw Fame tonight and it is really amazing how the movement of the human body, the sound of a voice can touch your soul. I am being my sappy self again haha! Can't help it! These past few days, I have been too contemplative to not be oversentimental. We have been waiting for this movie and it did not disappoint me. I saw dance, I saw art, I really wanted to jump off my seat and dance *haha*! Thank God I still have some restraint left in me. Who would have thought right?!

My sister was a bit disappointed that they did not sing Fame in the movie but I thought it was alright. The songs they plugged in were good. Fame is a tad bit dated and no amount of revision will make it up to date. Sadly. It's still my favorite Videoke song though. :)

A part of the movie struck me the most though. That part where one of the characters defined success. Success is to love what you are doing, who you are working with, knowing that you are making a difference, an impact in other people's lives. To love what you do to the point that you fly out of the door to do what you do. This thought led me to introspection. I had to ask myself if I love what I do. Actually, I do but due to some personal issues, what I do seems to have taken a backseat but starting tomorrow, I am rekindling the passion. I love it that I can touch people's lives. I love it that they acknowledge that too. I forgot to post here, I got the 2008 Students Search for Outstanding Teacher. *beams* I was not expecting this at all... Apparently, if you give what you do so much love, the love comes back. I hope I am still as good as they expect me to be, lately, I have not been giving a hundred percent of me. I have been distracted and it sucks that some parts of my professional life has to suffer. It has got to stop tomorrow.

I was discussing stress in one of the nonacademic classes ( I always have three and then I get two sections of academic load) my schedule is more manageable this way plus I really enjoy these nonacad classes. Anyway, I was discussing stress and one of my students wrote something that for me is a cry for help. This is not the first time this has happened though. I will talk to her very soon.

On the brighter side of things, I took a side trip to Hush Puppies and purchased comfy but cute pair of black heels that I can wear to class. They're not the super glam type but hey, they are comfy. I think I can stroll around the mall in them. Yup, that comfy! :) I will still get my Esprit shoes repaired because I really love them and they are still in pristine condition. I gave them to my mom first for safe keeping. :)

I know these past few days I have been asking about meaning and existence. I have decided to make it more simple for me. I have decided to make my own bucket list. I think we all should make one. This way, I know I cannot hit the bucket yet because i have not done the following yet.

1. See my grandchildren and regale them of stories of my past
2. Go to France and really experience romance.
3. Explore beaches.
4. Join Amazing Race Asia *haha!* like they'd take me! Hey, this is my bucket list let me be with my imagination.
5. Go on an African Safari.
6. Go to Russia.

This is all I have for now. Will add more next time.

This bucket list made me smile a big smile this week. Frankl is right, future makes you want to live in the here and now, now matter how dreary it may be. I am exaggerating of course, my here and now is not as dreary as the others but I have definitely been better. Still, in this world, all things come to pass. This too, will come to pass. In the meantime, I have my bucket list to hold on to.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Random Rants and Raves

I am still in the middle of my work day but I find a need to blog as I am overcome with nostalgia for my younger years. Oh, how I wish I can turn back time so I can enjoy my youth. I am not even thirty yet and hear me talk much about regret. I wonder if I am where the Lord wants me to be. I wonder if all that has happened are things He really wants me to go though. If this is still all tapestry of His great plan.

This morning, I was a bit frustrated because the other morning when I presented to my class the topic on pointers I really thought (because they were so convincing) that they really understand pointers already. Lo, and behold, this morning I gave them a very easy exam and a lot of them did poorly. *wah!* I had to explain again this morning. I gave them assignments and exercises that they can sink their teeth into. I am hoping they will really try to practice. I am still hopeful. I find pointers very fun! I hope that they will also be able to appreciate them. I mean they are intimidating at first but eventually, when they get the hang of it, I am sure they will do great!

Since the typhoon, i have been fixated to Facebook. I keep on checking for updates. You cannot blame me, it can really get you hooked, why with all the videos people are sharing that are sometimes funny, amusing or tear-inducing... I remember the You Can Let Go Now Daddy video. That almost made me cry. I have also tried Farm Town, it was fun for a few days but now it has gotten old. I am not playing Fashion Wars anymore as I find it boring now. I am glad too because I have not been doing a lot of productive work since then.

I better start reading one of the papers in my PhD class. I got a 4.0 on my first paper. Which does not matter much because I am an auditing student *haha!*. Still, it makes me happy! I'm soh shallow!!! :)

I also got in touch with one of my friends today. It was so nice to hear from her after such a long time! I hope we can have a nice long chat because I have so much to tell her and so many pictures to share as well. *sinister laugh*

My favorite Esprit shoes quit on me today. I am hoping I can still get them fixed because I love, love them. I remember when I first saw them in Hong Kong, I just could not leave without them. I think I had to borrow from my little sister just so I can afford them *haha!*. I was running out of cash and I did not want to change my dollars anymore. :) I really have to get them fixed. It's a good thing, my ridiculously priced heels are here in my cubicle and they did not get wet when the university was flooded. The flood did not get into my cubicle thank goodness and very nice people placed the stuff on our desks.

Thank you so much for saving my stuff! :)

This is all for now...

I know I keep on saying goodbye but I just remembered... I am excited about something tonight! I am watching Fame tonight *yey*!!! :)

Questions

i have read some of my entries from the past and I just realized how sloppy my blogs have become. I used to really pause for a while and organize my thoughts, now I just rant and rave without thinking about structure. I really must fix this problem.

I took a trip down memory lane and it is quite surprising how things really do not end up as one plans. Sometimes we feel like we know what is in store and yet years later, you find out that all there was was an illusion. Is the illusion of a future but an incentive for us to keep on trudging on to the unknown? I know you might say I am still not over Frankl but it really makes me think. Did I convince myself to conjure up all those thoughts just so I can march on to what they call "future"? Did I sabotage my own future because of this illusion? Was it then that I had an illusion or is it now? Did I sabotage my future then or am I sabotaging it now? Such are my questions. i do not have answers and I will not even pretend to know the answers. Reading my past blogs made me realize how useless it is to pretend to have answers when we really do not have an idea what they are.

In the meantime, I have my here and now and so I shall focus on this. I know that the Lord's hands will hold me and He will never let go no matter how much I try to evade His love for me.

Good night everyone! I still have five hours to sleep. I hope the Sandman visits me as soon as I close my eyes.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

What About Love

Why is it that when we see the hero and heroine in love stories they barely talk? I mean they do talk but they do not have conversations beyond "date" conversations. The characters get to know each other by finding out about their likes, dislikes, their past, what they want in their future but after they have exhausted all these topics the story ends.

What happens after?

What do they talk about then?

I ask because I also do not know. Do they talk about the daily humdrum of life? Do they talk about happened to their respective days?And then do they sleep and wake up the next morning and go through it again? After that, what next?

What is there beyond that? Of course, you can build a family, but what of those who cannot have kids?

It makes me wonder what there is beyond all this? Do you not after a while become tired of this? What keeps monotony at bay?

Where is the meaning in all of this?

Man's Search for Meaning is screwing with my thoughts again. I better prepare for tomorrow.

Meaning

Yesterday was like the first day of classes all over again! My day was kind of hectic but I had a nice evening. It was a wonderful surprise. I actually got a first peek at one of my friends' big decision and it was flattering that I was the first to see! :)

I am happy to have been back, the last few days have been kind of depressing. i realized that much of my meaning is attached to my work and that made me feel a tad bit melancholy. I mean, is this all there is to it? I try to get my PhD, I try to write papers, I teach, what else is there?

This brings to mind Viktor Frankl and logotherapy. I need to find my meaning. I need to see my future. I have an idea of what kind of future I want but the future is unsettled, obscure and vague and right now I want something real to hold on to.

Just a thought.

I mean really... what am I here for?

Trying hard not to break into that Avenue Q song. *smiles*

Monday, October 05, 2009

Pizz-a Be With You

After hearing mass we went straight to MOA for dinner. Please do not ask me what I did all day because everything is a blur. I was too busy napping. :) Anyway, we went to Joey Pepperoni as per my sister's request. It was my first time there. I am kind of disappointed.

Firstly, the food is not as Italian as I had expected. The food was adjusted to fit the palate of the Filipino. The spaghetti bolognese was sweetened, it actually reminded me of the spaghetti served at our high school canteen. My two siblings opted for Pasta All You Can. You can choose from three types of sauces, meat sauce, pesto and alfredo (?). I opted for Chicken Parmiagna and it took them forever to serve it. I was soh hungry already so it was good that The Works pizza came already. The Parmiagna is not that impressive either.

The service was slow and poor. There were many times when they made mistakes like when they gave my brother's order to another person, they gave me Carbonara instead of the bill that I have requested for among them.

I hope they will improve their service. In the meantime, it might take a while before I go there again.

Another friend of mine at another one of their branches and was disappointed too. At least they're consistent.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Wedding - Pepeng

Pepeng did not hit Manila thank goodness!

The wedding of my friend pushed through. They had it at Saint Peter the Apostle Parish beside the school that my first ex attended *haha*! It was actually my first time there. The homily was okay though one of my colleagues thinks that the priest should have focused more on the bride and not on the French groom. This was actually fine by me, what shocked me was when the priest during consecration stopped for more than five seconds to say, "you were asked to kneel, not to sit". I felt bad because there might be people there who had bad cases of arthritis, also there were people there who might be Protestant (because the groom is Protestant). He, unfortunately, did not stop there, he also said,"If you cannot respect the customs of our Church, please get out.". I understand why he might be offended. The consecration is the most important part of the mass. This is the part where the transfiguration takes place, where the wine becomes the Blood of Christ and the bread becomes the Body of Christ. I am just disappointed because he could have said it in a nicer way. I am sure getting angry is alright. Even Jesus got angry at the merchants but I am sure before He got mad He considered so many things... Oh well... I was embarrassed for a while. We should be embracing these people who come to our Church even if they are of a different religion. I mean, it should be taken as an opportunity to show them how we do things. *yikes*

After this, we went to Dezaato Pan at MOA because reception was not until 7 in the evening and it was only past three when the ceremony ended. I had Choco Otaku which my friends liked! One of my colleagues said he was going to bring his girlfriend to that place because he loved it. After Dezaato Pan and so much laughter, courtesy of the wackiest couple that I know, we went to Time Zone and played basketball! I think I am improving, last time I was there I scored only 23 but yesterday I scored a whopping 44 points! I was only three points short of getting at tie with the best player that I know! *woot*

I also got to play Dance Maniacs with one of our youngest faculty members *haha*! I hope nobody would post that on YouTube. Somebody got it on video!!!

After TimeZone, we had to rush to Century Park Hotel where the reception was. I was the emcee so they dropped me off first. I was so nervous I had to drink red wine to calm my nerves and loosen my tongue(works every time). I think things went well! I had fun being an emcee as well. Afterwards, we still had so much supply of adrenaline and so we proceeded to the Cavern KTV and we spent three more hours singing/howling there! It was really fun! I hope the cellphones of those who took videos will never get lost! *haha!*

Another interesting thing, the bride joined us in her wedding gown! You do not see that everyday! :)

I was soooh tired when I went home but I could not sleep until three in the morning so I spent all day today trying to regain my energy!

It was a good wedding!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Paper Hangover

Whew!

I am finally done with my paper! I have to read it again to make sure that I am really making sense but i have to read it another time so I can have a more different way of looking at it. I really liked the article by Frijda on Laws of Emotions because I really think that these Laws apply for me. I have also read Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning: An Introduction to Logotherapy and their ideas really match. Even the book of Stephen Covey called Seven Habits of Highly Effective People essentially say almost the same thing. I like it that Frijda though she said that these laws are mechanisms for us to feel emotions, we can choose to be above them by using our imagination. This was seconded by Covey when he said that the only thing that separates us from animals is our imagination and consciousness. Our ability to react differently from what nature dictates to us is the natural reaction. Frankl also mentioned this; At the end of the day, when you are naked and humiliated, what you have left to live for is simply your future. Future of course may be in the form a sweetheart, a book waiting to be published or just freedom. Regardless, it is something that you look forward to, something you live for to experience. This brings to mind what my brother said years ago, he said, if you want to make a man unhappy, give the man all that he dreams of. It may be true, for after you get all you dream of, what else have you to live for. Perhaps this is the reason why human is programmed to keep on wanting more, most of the time to a fault. If we stop wanting, we just might have nothing to live for.

Another point that was raised is the fact that there is what is called Hedonic Asymmetry. This says that joy is not felt as long as sorrow is felt. When you feel liberty after years of captivity, the length of time that you will experience joy because of freedom is not as long as you have experienced anguish and sorrow in prison. This is a bit sad, however Frijda said, humans are not programmed to be happy but rather they are programmed for survival.

Another sad thing I got from Frijda is that we will succumb to habituation. This is the reason why love loses its magic. We get used to the feeling that it is no longer exciting anymore. Love is then taken for granted. This however, is the reason why we feel numb after being shown certain things we cannot stomach before. This was how the holocaust victims were able to survive their horrendous experiences during the war. This is, unfortunately, also the reason why the soldiers were able to nonchalantly torture and kill innocent people. This disturbed them at first but eventually, they get used to it. This is the sad way humans have been programmed so that humans may survive. Frijda, noted that we can rise above this by imagining how it was before. This however is unnatural and requires a great deal of conscious effort.

Schadenfreude was also mentioned in the paper of Frijda as an emotion. This was mentioned in Avenue Q as joy in other people's misery. Humans are also plagued by the Law of Comparison. We compare our situation with others and if they are better off we feel bad about ourselves. This seems to say that we are doomed to be unhappy species. It seems that we have been programmed to be sad.

I do not have a Psychology background. These are just some of the things that I have read. It saddens me that this is how we seemed to have been programmed. As much as I would like to say I am above these laws. I feel that most of the laws apply to me. I am not above them. Sadly too, there are moments in my life when I did not even try to rise above these laws.

I realize tonight that I am, while I have ineffable freedom, enslaved by the basic instinct of my psyche. How sad.

On the brighter side of things:

They say Pepeng already changed course and may leave earlier than predicted. *yey!* Please do leave and do not come back.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Another Typhoon!

After Ondoy, another typhoon is set to hit us. Tomorrow is my friend's wedding, I hope it changes its course otherwise, it will be such a hassle to everyone. She has people from Europe coming over, she even has a friend who came from Singapore just to be my co-emcee! It will be unfortunate if the wedding won't push through tomorrow but more than the wedding, there are still so many people who are rendered homeless because of Ondoy.

We have not recovered from Ondoy, I really hope and pray that Pepeng will change its course. There are still places that are still submerged, houses that cannot be inhabited because of the mud, dirt and water. Some of the streets are still impassable and if this typhoon is as strong as they say, I pray that it never really hits the Philippines. Too many people are suffering.

Please Lord, let the typhoon change its course.

Fun Day

Today may not have been so productive but I had a lot of fun!

Half of the day was spent sleeping *thwaps self*. I know I can be such a sloth when there are no classes. Afterwards, I checked my mail and I found out I had to write some things about all that kept us busy last week for our website. I was able to do all the write ups save for one because I need input from another member of the team.

After finishing, I took a bath. *hehe* I know, I do not like taking a bath right after waking up. I'm too lazy even to take a bath! Very bad! Anyway, after taking a bath I decided to check on my shoes that I have left on the floor of my cubicle because they were my teaching shoes. I bought them for an unreasonable price and I could not imagine them floating on flood water hehe... Good thing someone lifted all the things to higher places so they were not damaged at all. They are in pristine condition and I plan not to leave them on the ground again. :)

After getting the invitation for the wedding of my friend, my friends decided to eat out. I came along and I told them we could eat at Kalye Juan. They wanted what I had which is Bangusilog. Some of them even tried my salted egg with tomatoes! :) I am not sure if they were happy with their food though.

We decided to have dessert after. One of my colleagues asked us to have ice cream and so we did. I owed one of my friends an ice cream for a favor he gave me so I treated him. After eating, since this was very near an arcade place we decided to play! We got to play basketball, dance maniacs, the punching bag thing, even the one peso coin machines where you drop a peso and the one peso slides off. We also tried the machine that grabs stuffed toys. That was fun too... we got nothing haha! I also had a round of air hockey! I lost... Boo! I do not always lose. Maybe it was my bag and because the person I was playing with cheated and got first blood! :)

Still... I had so much fun! Hope we can do that again some time!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Weird

I have not taken a bath. For those who know me. I am a bit lazy to take a bath when there is no place to go to anyway much to the demise of those who want me to go to work! Haha!

I have been busy all day though because I had to finish some write-ups for the visits of the Professors, the workshops and all, basically all that kept us busy last week. So aside from Facebook from time to time (I am becoming dependent, very bad!), it was all i got to do. That and watch the contraband version of The Ugly Truth! The movie is still making me soh giddy! I love the movie! *sigh* Super chick flick! I hope my friend would watch it too so we can be super giddy together!

I have to start preparing for the emcee stint. I have emailed my co-emcee, I hope we will be able to wing it! I cannot wait for the day I just really hope I can fit into my dress!

This is all i have to write so far maybe I will write again later. :) BTW, got my Gap the other night for a road test, I think I should have gotten a pair in a smaller size, Gap's sizes are way too big really... Is that done on purpose so I would feel good about myself?! Last night, while checking out a pair of Aldo shoes, I realized I am not a 38 but a 37. All my life, I have been buying 38 shoes and last night, I was clearly a 37! Tried on a pair of Zara shoes and even there I am a 37. Can my feet shrink?! Super weird!!!

Ciao!

Mall Hopping

I spent the whole day yesterday inside the house, monitoring all the activities on Facebook and reading papers for my PhD class. When nighttime fell, I prepared for the dinner with my friends with my friend's new husband and groom (for the third time), her in-laws and family members. The dinner started pretty late so it ended late as well. No matter, we had good food and good company and I got myself some scoop that I can dish out when I do my emcee stint at their reception. I hope I do not get the details of their respective stories mixed up!

I have been doing this a lot lately. It feels like all my thoughts are scattered in different places, disorganized like most of my things. My clutter is creeping up into my brain as well. Or is my clutter merely a reflection of my thoughts? Wait a minute, I am sounding like some of the papers that I am reading. Must stop now.

Today, I got to spend part of my day with my mom and sister. Today (or so we thought) was the last day of the Citibank promo where we exchange our charge slips for movies! So, we went to MOA again to watch a movie. We opted for The Ugly Truth. I love, love, love this movie. It was so funny we were all laughing and for some, howling already because of their witty lines. I also liked the story, I was all giddy still minutes after the movie ended.

Right after the movie, I had to rush to Makati to meet up with my friends. Tonight was the despedida of a batchmate of mine who was going to Japan for his PhD. They also saw a movie but they opted to see Surrogates. Instead of watching that, I decided to just catch a chick flick and then join them for dinner. As it turns out, the Surrogates was not that great. My mom already told me it was not good so I am soh glad I got to see Butler and his sexy self in one of the funniest movies I have seen to date.

I will definitely watch it again on DVD with my sister. Another highlight of the movie was the trailer part *haha*! Yup! Michael Jackson's This Is It got us all super, duper excited!!! We already have tickets... Oh yeah I have told you about that already! We plan to watch it again and have inquired already. They will be showing this only for two weeks! We plan to get more tickets via Citibank, they are going to allow us to claim tickets until November! *yey*

When I got to Makati I still had time to stroll around GB5. I got to try on shoes, almost bought a pair of 4-inch heels! Thank goodness they did not have my size! *haha!* I felt tired after trying them on! I just had them for less than a minute! I cannot imagine being an emcee all night in them! I also got to visit the new Fully Booked at the basement of GB5. It's a charming place. I got my colleague a journal that he can use for when he goes to Japan. I am a sucker for notebooks!

When I met up with my friends they were at Time Zone and they got me to try out some arcade games! :) It was really fun hanging out with them. Afterwards, we ate at Bubba Gump's where I got to order Bourbon Street Mahi Mahi. The guys went for the Baby Back Ribs and then we had my colleagues fave dessert. While there it almost felt like we were cast of How I Met Your Mother! :)

I told them I should be Robin, but they are arguing that I am more of a Lily. *boo!* I want to be the Robin! :)

Just a side story, on my way to GB, the taxi driver of the cab I was riding was flagged down by a traffic enforcer. He was not given a ticket instead, the traffic enforcer in Makati asked for money. They got a hundred bucks off this poor driver. I cannot believe they choose to do this after a big tragedy has befallen us. *sigh* I gave the driver an extra hundred to compensate for what the enforcer got from him. When he was pulled over, the driver politely asked why he was asked to do so, and then the enforcer started yelling at him. I think something should be done bout this Mayor Binay. You tell people what a good job you have been doing at Makati and yet the traffic enforcers are like this. My taxi was not the only one that was asked to pull over, during the short time we were asked to stop, there were four other cabs that were asked to pull over as well. Shame on them really. Shame.