Thursday, September 21, 2006

Missing the Beat

What do you do when you begin to question what is? Is it a reason to panic when doubt eats you up because you begin to wonder if everything that you have worked so hard for is beginning to fall apart?

I have always been the pragmatic one. I look ahead and I worry of what is to come. When I worry of what is out there, then I begin to doubt what is in the now. In the past, I have taken trips into the future, but lately, the loneliness in the struggle to paint a better picture of what is to be is taking its toll.

When finally, this was brought into the open. Gently, the cold fact revealed itself to me, I realized that I will just have to learn how to look past this because though we may be dancing to the same music, we were dancing in a different beat. While dancing in the same beat without stepping on the other's foot is already difficult, it gets harder when you are not in the same beat.

It is not my wish to stop dancing, nor do I pray to follow a different beat. I do not wish for another partner but I do pray for acceptance, that I may see beyond this and that we may eventually, without forcing ourselves find our feet one day move to a common beat, the beating of our hearts united as one.

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