I got an email last night saying that I should text back.
I was frantic when I saw the message. I was invited to go the following morning at 8am! Oh my! I texted to see if I could still confirm. I was able to. Then it dawned on me, I have nothing to wear. I got all my outfits out. Nothing seemed to be good enough. I packed them anyway.
The following morning, I woke up early. Half awake and half asleep I found my way to a gay bar called The Government in Makati Avenue.
Believe it or not, I got to the place at quarter to eight in the morning and got to go home, fifteen minutes past six in the evening.
I heard mass after.
No I have not decided finally, that I am gay.
And no, I was not there to pick up a gay person.
Definitely no, I did not pick up a macho dancer.
I went to my first ever T.V. shoot as an extra!!! I got a photo shoot too where I was not an extra. I hope they don't cut it out of the segment.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Power to Hurt
Last Sunday, he was going to drop by the unit after he drives his parents to the terminal however, my mom and my sis were still at the condo and so he chose not to drop by anymore. I understood that it was already late at night and my mom would probably not love him for dropping by at that time of night. Yeah, my brain understood but not my cheating emotions that knows no logic. I was disappointed. Very disappointed.
I guess I was not only disappointed. At the back of my mind, I was still wondering about the argument that we had last Wednesday. I was wondering if he took my negative reaction to heart. I was wondering if I tarnished our perfect relationship. I was wondering if I have blown everything again.
I have blown it alright... I have blown it out of proportions.
Sunday night, I was soh depressed that I cried. Come Monday, a colleague approached me asking if I cried. Yup!!! My eyes were that swollen. I did not want to keep it inside that Sunday night and so I talked to *** and informed him of my apprehensions. He did tell me before of wanting transparency. I did not understand why I was being such a baby about the whole thing myself... I bet he was beginning to think I was a psycho from a mental institution.
He patiently explained to me that he was not at all bothered by the discussion that we had last Wednesday. He assured me that my weight has not changed anything between us, in fact he does not think I was fat. Yes. I told him about that too. I mean if I wanted to bring things into the open, I might as well bring that up. I love him for patiently answering my questions, for lovingly assuring me and for doing it over and over again until finally I felt better. We both slept at 3am.
I know I was unreasonable but I was really depressed. It was a major PMS if you ask me.
Monday night, I was soh sad again but I did not want to bother him anymore. I thought he needed his sleep but I cried again that night. I slept with Proxy, the bear he gave me. Though my mom has instructed me not to hug that bear anymore, I knew I would go crazy if I did not hug that bear that night. I really missed him.
Tuesday night he said he was going to visit me and he did, but it took him a long time before he did and I almost thought he wasn't going to come anymore. I understand that he had a lot of work at the office and given the long weekends, he's got to finish a lot of deadlines but I guess my brain just refuses to understand when I have hormonal imbalance.
He texted me:
I felt myself grow cold with anger and disappointment. I already had food delivered and I really waited for him. I hate waiting, especially if I am doubting if the person is really going to show up.
He texted again:
And he was.
I should have been joyous but I was not.
I was disappointed that he did not even text me when I have asked several times whether he was coming or not.
I got hurt because he knew how much I was wanting to see me and I felt he exploited that feeling.
Or is it my fear of getting hurt kicking in. I love him soh much and I know that gives him the power to hurt me.
He confessed that he wanted it to be a pleasant surprise.
I was too fragile for it I guess.
I cried again last night. Arrgghh!!! I have become the girl I have always loathed.
He was very amiable that night and he really explained to me again, so lovingly that he would never say he'd be there when he's not going to make it. He also emphasized that he has never disappointed me in any way and that I should never have doubted him. Nonetheless I cried and I was also as cold as could be for quite some time. He was awfully sweet that I finally melted in his arms. It was sweet making up too!
I love him. I do. So why do I punish him so?
I feel better tonight. Maybe because I got to see him last night. Maybe because I was soh busy tonight to even worry.
I have to trust what we have.
Thank you for being strong baby.
I guess I was not only disappointed. At the back of my mind, I was still wondering about the argument that we had last Wednesday. I was wondering if he took my negative reaction to heart. I was wondering if I tarnished our perfect relationship. I was wondering if I have blown everything again.
I have blown it alright... I have blown it out of proportions.
Sunday night, I was soh depressed that I cried. Come Monday, a colleague approached me asking if I cried. Yup!!! My eyes were that swollen. I did not want to keep it inside that Sunday night and so I talked to *** and informed him of my apprehensions. He did tell me before of wanting transparency. I did not understand why I was being such a baby about the whole thing myself... I bet he was beginning to think I was a psycho from a mental institution.
He patiently explained to me that he was not at all bothered by the discussion that we had last Wednesday. He assured me that my weight has not changed anything between us, in fact he does not think I was fat. Yes. I told him about that too. I mean if I wanted to bring things into the open, I might as well bring that up. I love him for patiently answering my questions, for lovingly assuring me and for doing it over and over again until finally I felt better. We both slept at 3am.
I know I was unreasonable but I was really depressed. It was a major PMS if you ask me.
Monday night, I was soh sad again but I did not want to bother him anymore. I thought he needed his sleep but I cried again that night. I slept with Proxy, the bear he gave me. Though my mom has instructed me not to hug that bear anymore, I knew I would go crazy if I did not hug that bear that night. I really missed him.
Tuesday night he said he was going to visit me and he did, but it took him a long time before he did and I almost thought he wasn't going to come anymore. I understand that he had a lot of work at the office and given the long weekends, he's got to finish a lot of deadlines but I guess my brain just refuses to understand when I have hormonal imbalance.
He texted me:
Sorry baby, something came up.
I felt myself grow cold with anger and disappointment. I already had food delivered and I really waited for him. I hate waiting, especially if I am doubting if the person is really going to show up.
He texted again:
ME! Please open the door, I am already here.
And he was.
I should have been joyous but I was not.
I was disappointed that he did not even text me when I have asked several times whether he was coming or not.
I got hurt because he knew how much I was wanting to see me and I felt he exploited that feeling.
Or is it my fear of getting hurt kicking in. I love him soh much and I know that gives him the power to hurt me.
He confessed that he wanted it to be a pleasant surprise.
I was too fragile for it I guess.
I cried again last night. Arrgghh!!! I have become the girl I have always loathed.
He was very amiable that night and he really explained to me again, so lovingly that he would never say he'd be there when he's not going to make it. He also emphasized that he has never disappointed me in any way and that I should never have doubted him. Nonetheless I cried and I was also as cold as could be for quite some time. He was awfully sweet that I finally melted in his arms. It was sweet making up too!
I love him. I do. So why do I punish him so?
I feel better tonight. Maybe because I got to see him last night. Maybe because I was soh busy tonight to even worry.
I have to trust what we have.
Thank you for being strong baby.
Lord Of War
The conscience is a good man's gift and an evil man's curse.
It rewards you with peace if you know you do what is right.
It torments you on end if you know what you do is wrong.
The conscience can haunt you, even the Lord of War.
Because that is your conscience built against the rock solid foundation for morality and values. Your superego.
He sold weapons, first to gangs, then to countries. Countries used his weapons against each other. In every war, he was always the sure winner.
Was he really?
He lost his wife and son, they left him after his wife found out about his deals.
He lost his parents.
He literally lost his brother.
All he ever had left in the end? His money and his weapons.
He never went to war against himself... so he never won.
***
I went to his bowling tournament. I got to play but I did horribly... I really must work on my bowling skills.
After which we went to Greenbelt 3 to see a movie.
It rewards you with peace if you know you do what is right.
It torments you on end if you know what you do is wrong.
The conscience can haunt you, even the Lord of War.
You never go to war against yourself because it's a war you'll never win.-Yuri Oslov
Because that is your conscience built against the rock solid foundation for morality and values. Your superego.
He sold weapons, first to gangs, then to countries. Countries used his weapons against each other. In every war, he was always the sure winner.
Was he really?
He lost his wife and son, they left him after his wife found out about his deals.
He lost his parents.
He literally lost his brother.
All he ever had left in the end? His money and his weapons.
He never went to war against himself... so he never won.
***
I went to his bowling tournament. I got to play but I did horribly... I really must work on my bowling skills.
After which we went to Greenbelt 3 to see a movie.
Knowing Where Your Place Is
Last Thursday I lost my ring...
The night before, I got upset by his constant joke of turning me into a housewife cleaning and cooking after him. Blech!!! Most nights I would just laugh about it but that night I could not just let it go... The wheels in my head began to turn, what if he jokes with the intent to condition my mind that someday I will eventually turn into that housewife?! It was just simply unacceptable in my feminist mind. Feminist as in not going for equality but rather world domination bwahaha!!! *sinister laugh* Just kidding!!!
Actually, I would not really mind cooking and cleaning after my future husband however, I would not want him to have me do it all the time and I would definitely not want him to be lying on the couch watching me do back breaking chores.
After the conversation, though we have talked it over and he finally convinced me that he was just really kidding and that he would never dream of turning me into his personal slave, I was still upset. It takes me a while to get over things.
I washed my face and cleaned up. I took off my ring and fell asleep. I normally sleep with my ring on, but that night I thought I'd sleep without it to free my mind of the discussion that we had earlier.
Morning came and as I went to my class I noticed the ring he gave me on our first month was not where it should be. I shrugged since I would be late if I came back for it still.
Later in the afternoon, I went to my unit to get my swim gear. I still did not wear my ring because I was going to swim and I do not want it to corrode.
That evening, I realized it was missing and he was coming over!!! I was so upset. I was looking for it in the usual places where it should be and it was not there. I was close to tears when he got to the unit. He did not get upset when he realized I lost it, while helping me look for it he comforted me that he could always get a new one. I told him I did not want a new one. A new one will never fit as perfectly as what I have lost does in my finger. It will never be able to replace that warm feeling I get when I look at it. Already, I was missing the feeling of having it in my ring finger. After probably more than an hour of searching, I said a quiet prayer and decided to check my bed. Lo and behold! There lay my missing ring!!! How it got there, I really do not know! I never take my ring off in bed. But it was there and I could not care less how it got there. I was just too happy to find it.
There are times when little problems, tend to make us brush something so important aside. Losing my ring made me realize that I should never take what we have for granted because no matter how young the relationship is, it has become a very big part of me. Though I can always enter into another one, it will never feel the same way as I do in this relationship. Quietly, I vowed to always mind where I place my ring and my relationship. My ring in my jewelry box and my relationship in my heart.
The night before, I got upset by his constant joke of turning me into a housewife cleaning and cooking after him. Blech!!! Most nights I would just laugh about it but that night I could not just let it go... The wheels in my head began to turn, what if he jokes with the intent to condition my mind that someday I will eventually turn into that housewife?! It was just simply unacceptable in my feminist mind. Feminist as in not going for equality but rather world domination bwahaha!!! *sinister laugh* Just kidding!!!
Actually, I would not really mind cooking and cleaning after my future husband however, I would not want him to have me do it all the time and I would definitely not want him to be lying on the couch watching me do back breaking chores.
After the conversation, though we have talked it over and he finally convinced me that he was just really kidding and that he would never dream of turning me into his personal slave, I was still upset. It takes me a while to get over things.
I washed my face and cleaned up. I took off my ring and fell asleep. I normally sleep with my ring on, but that night I thought I'd sleep without it to free my mind of the discussion that we had earlier.
Morning came and as I went to my class I noticed the ring he gave me on our first month was not where it should be. I shrugged since I would be late if I came back for it still.
Later in the afternoon, I went to my unit to get my swim gear. I still did not wear my ring because I was going to swim and I do not want it to corrode.
That evening, I realized it was missing and he was coming over!!! I was so upset. I was looking for it in the usual places where it should be and it was not there. I was close to tears when he got to the unit. He did not get upset when he realized I lost it, while helping me look for it he comforted me that he could always get a new one. I told him I did not want a new one. A new one will never fit as perfectly as what I have lost does in my finger. It will never be able to replace that warm feeling I get when I look at it. Already, I was missing the feeling of having it in my ring finger. After probably more than an hour of searching, I said a quiet prayer and decided to check my bed. Lo and behold! There lay my missing ring!!! How it got there, I really do not know! I never take my ring off in bed. But it was there and I could not care less how it got there. I was just too happy to find it.
There are times when little problems, tend to make us brush something so important aside. Losing my ring made me realize that I should never take what we have for granted because no matter how young the relationship is, it has become a very big part of me. Though I can always enter into another one, it will never feel the same way as I do in this relationship. Quietly, I vowed to always mind where I place my ring and my relationship. My ring in my jewelry box and my relationship in my heart.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
So Happy Together
For the past three Saturdays, my little sister, *** and me have been going out together. *** and I try to cheer her up 'coz she's going through a lot in school lately.
I think she had a blast last Sunday because there was a mallwide sale at Megamall and the moment she got there she went to Comic Alley to go on an anime shopping spree! I have not had anything at all when I left the house because I swam first and then by the time I got to the unit, *** was almost there already and my sister was eager to leave. I only got to have my lunch around 4pm!
We had lunch at Sukhothai. The food there is great, I really recommend it plus the food there is not that pricey! The most fun part of lunch was when we finished the Chicken Satay and we started using the sticks as Pick Up Sticks. To those not familiar with the game, the sticks are scattered by bundling the sticks with one hand and letting the sticks go such that they are spread on the table. The object of the game is to get all the sticks without moving the other sticks. I could tell, *** and my sister are getting along well... very well!
After semi-dinner, we went bowling. Surprisingly, my sister played really well. I still suck but at least I got a 50+ and a 60+! Yahoo... my average score is 30! :D
After bowling, we had DQ dipped cones, while *** had a mudpie Blizzard. While still eating, we went inside Cinnabon to eat some more!!! Talk about pigging out!
We all went home at around 12 midnight already. There was a midnight sale and so we got to stay at the mall longer than usual!
It was a great day! My two favorite people, laughing and having fun together! I wish I caught everything on video!!!
Friday Fahtty!!!
Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo was really great! It was soh funny, I think we laughed from beginning to end with very short, negligible pauses to breathe! We saw the movie last Friday.
I felt so fat that day I swear! That's why, instead of writing about our date, I wrote some nonsense in my entry. I really felt ugly, I swear. And the weirdest thing? I thought he felt the same way and of course that only made me feel worse. He might have just realized that he has a psycho for a girlfriend when I told him about how I felt the following day but then again, maybe he has known this all along. I even called him up at two in the morning I think, just to say nothing. I was just too sad and he was too sleepy to talk a whole lot. All he could muster was some groggy 'i love you's' and some 'let's get some more sleep'. Normally, I would not think of waking him up in the middle of the night, but I was just soh sad. Usually calling him up cheers me up but at that moment, it hardly even helped. I was still sad. So I blogged away.
I felt so fat that day I swear! That's why, instead of writing about our date, I wrote some nonsense in my entry. I really felt ugly, I swear. And the weirdest thing? I thought he felt the same way and of course that only made me feel worse. He might have just realized that he has a psycho for a girlfriend when I told him about how I felt the following day but then again, maybe he has known this all along. I even called him up at two in the morning I think, just to say nothing. I was just too sad and he was too sleepy to talk a whole lot. All he could muster was some groggy 'i love you's' and some 'let's get some more sleep'. Normally, I would not think of waking him up in the middle of the night, but I was just soh sad. Usually calling him up cheers me up but at that moment, it hardly even helped. I was still sad. So I blogged away.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Badminton Birthday
I got to go to the birthday party of Vince's friend's girlfriend. It was a badminton tournament party. I have not played for a year already but Vince and I had a game of our own during the break. i realized that it is a fun sport and yes, I would want to play again. In fact, I plan to get my own racket soon!!! I got to be a line man and he got to be a line man and sometimes the umpire. It was my first time to see him play. He was pretty good!!! We were together the whole day!
Vince's friend took care of the logistics of the tournament. He looked so stressed, that if you ask me, I don't think he enjoyed at all. It was sweet of him to do it though. I can see that he loves his girlfriend very much. If I were the girlfriend though, I do not think I'd enjoy such party because seeing my boyfriend enjoy my party with me would be better.
The party started at 10 am and we left at around 7pm (yup the party wasn't over yet at this time). We had to leave to catch the mass at San Isidro. We both got super excited about the return of the Twister Fries and so we ate at McDo.
My mom was nice to him when we got home. She even offered him Domino's Pizza. Hmm... I hope they'd get back to how they used to be.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Lay Bare Your Heart for My Wall
Gabby Barredo's Exhibit
Gabriel Barredo launched his art exhibit yesterday at the Ayala Museum. ***'s family was invited because Gabby is a family friend. *** then asked me to tag along. It was a different kind of experience. The art pieces there were spectacular. They conjured thoughts in our playful minds. The pieces were mainly made from metal scrap... Though if you really do not look hard enough, they are not scrap at all... Most pieces were of the human body. I cannot upload the pictures now but perhaps in my next post I can show you some of the pieces. There were some pieces that were mechanical which I think appealed to the engineer in ***. He was asking questions like, how does this piece work, how do the gears make it work, where is the power coming from. I was for a moment afraid he might take them apart hehe... I can imagine my father doing the very same thing.
It was a good learning experience for me. It somehow cleared my mind for a while, the music produced by some of the mechanical pieces played in my ear and soothed my thoughts... for a while at least. Yesterday night, Gabriel Barredo bore his mind, soul and heart to his guests. Some people took the time to understand them, some just passed them by, some disregarded the pieces of confession of thoughts and ideals as another artwork but in the end, it does not matter what other people think. He crafted with his hands his dreams, emotions, feelings and frustrations and to be able to do that, for me, is an accomplishment and a reward on its own. The joy,I wonder, to be able to touch your feelings, to literally hang your dreams on a wall and to melt and mold your frustrations, must be immensely immeasurable.
***
Yesterday night was also another opportunity to be with his family. His family is nice as I have said. I have gotten to talk to his older sister. His father is rather quiet but he is nice. His younger sister seems to be nice also but we have not gotten to talk much yet. We had dinner at Big Buddha. After which, *** drove me home.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Nocturnal Contemplation of Oblivion
Rescue me from this reverie that I have enveloped myself in. My mind is a labyrinth I cannot seem to walk out of. I am trapped within the walls of my own abyss. I pant, and I panic, but everywhere I turn seems to be a wall I walk into. Shatter the glass that encapsulates me, I want to break free and breathe once again. Slowly, my own breath is becoming the poison that kills me. I suppose this is the fate of one who chooses solitude, a lonely death and a silent one. I scream, yet no one seems to hear. I cannot blame anyone for screaming has become nothing but opening of my mouth. Nothing but silence comes out. The most deafening scream of silence that no one can hear, this is my call for urgency. I cannot breathe, and the will to do so is fading into nothingness. My chest is heavy from the invisible anvil it carries. My head whirls from unseen concerns that make my insides stir into discomfort. I am in despair and yet I myself am disconcerted, doubtful if I really am. I dove to fathom the depth of my being and now I am drowning in the silence of this reverie. I am where nobody can reach me but that One who has made me into being. Take me out of the box from where I have placed myself in. Break me free from the chains that bind me, eradicate the boundaries that I have set for myself for You have made me a free soul, meant to soar the limitless sky, dive the unfathomable sea, and explore the vastness of the universe and what is beyond it. Remove from me the brand that has marked my mortal flesh, that has haunted me from birth. Liberate me from the judgement of my own condescending eyes. Let love emanate from my very core, and let it shine into my being, that it may shed light to the darkest pits of my very soul. Let the light of wisdom, solve the enigma that is me. Let the brightness of the light shine forth to this nocturnal contemplation of nothingness, of void and of oblivion.
Pardon the cheesy piece above, I am sappy perhaps because I am moved to be so due to the circumstance my sister is in. Of course, this episode could also be attributed to the excessive narcissism that has become the pitfall of my spirit. I have gained weight and I feel ugly. Is acceptance in this lifetime beyond the grasp of every human being?
Pardon the cheesy piece above, I am sappy perhaps because I am moved to be so due to the circumstance my sister is in. Of course, this episode could also be attributed to the excessive narcissism that has become the pitfall of my spirit. I have gained weight and I feel ugly. Is acceptance in this lifetime beyond the grasp of every human being?
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Paint a Rainbow for Her
I wish I could hold you in my arms and melt all your fears away.
Whisper in your ear words that will make everything okay.
I need you to know I am here for you. I will love you no matter what. I don't want you to fear tomorrow. I wish to assure you everything will go your way but I cannot. I do not have the power to do that.
I am a mere mortal like you and all the comforting words that I can manaage is, "Let's pray.". The Lord will not forsake you. He will do what's best for you. I know He will help you but I also want to help you. I hope that in my little ways I am doing that.
I love you, sis!
Whisper in your ear words that will make everything okay.
I need you to know I am here for you. I will love you no matter what. I don't want you to fear tomorrow. I wish to assure you everything will go your way but I cannot. I do not have the power to do that.
I am a mere mortal like you and all the comforting words that I can manaage is, "Let's pray.". The Lord will not forsake you. He will do what's best for you. I know He will help you but I also want to help you. I hope that in my little ways I am doing that.
I love you, sis!
Rendezvous
I had my haircut today and I was going to meet him tonight.
I was so excited to see him because tonight, the stylist had my hair blown dry straight. My heart skipped when I saw him approach me. Gosh! After all these months... he still takes me breath away! Somehow when I see him, all the blood I have rushes to my face and involuntarily makes my lips spread across my face, and my eyes twinkle in delight. I guess this is love. I know this might be hard to believe since I have had two boyfriends in the past, but this is the first time I am feeling this. It is enthrilling! I want to hug him all the time. I want to be next to him and feel the warmth of his tight, strong embrace. Somehow, in his arms, I feel secure, loved and safe. This is the feeling of being with the one. Or at least I would like to think so.
We saw Transporter 2. The action scenes were superb but the story is not that impressive. I'd still recommend it to those who are into action flicks though.
After the movie, we ate at Sentro. It was my first time there and yes, I was impressed by the impeccable service and the Sinigang na Corned Beef was yummy. Next time though I plan to have Tilapia in Coconut Milk.
I love eating sinigang with *** because I get to have all the okra and the eggplant. I don't understand how he can find those disgusting. They're my favorite!
During dinner, I asked him, out of the blue who his first crush was and so on... Though it took place several years ago, there are times when I wish I were there. I wish I were the one he speaks of. I wish I were the one he has given his first roses to or the one he has given his first love letter to... But that is silly because then the timing will be off. I want to thank the Lord for making us meet at such perfect timing. I love him for being honest and for being oh so open about things of the past.
We went ballistic with the phone camera again... We have once again taken tons of pictures. Especially today that my hair is straight!
Trimming of the Shrew
Snip
There goes another inch.
How long has it been? More than eight months! Last time I was on this chair, I did not know what were ahead of me. I did not know there were big surprises in store for me.
Snip
They say people cut their hair because their hearts are broken or because they want to forget.
I cut my hair because it was Chinese New Year, because I wanted a new beginning. And that was what I got precisely. A new beginning to a new story. The chapters have been good to me. Thank you Lord.
Snip
Today I got my haircut again, no longer seeking a new beginning. I wanted my hair to look as before. I want the way things are and I do not want them to change. I know change is inevitable but holding on and hoping things will stay the way they are can be too.
Snip
Looking in the mirror, I know I have changed. I am happy now. My face may have more lines, my eyes may have darker circles or my forehead seems higher but my eyes dance with glee for the Lord has blessed me.
Several times in the past, I have been trimmed, blown dry, trimmed again, and again and again... Every now and then I still have to be heated enough to force me to yield but that is His hand working, styling me into perfection.
Snip... Snip...
There goes another inch.
How long has it been? More than eight months! Last time I was on this chair, I did not know what were ahead of me. I did not know there were big surprises in store for me.
Snip
They say people cut their hair because their hearts are broken or because they want to forget.
I cut my hair because it was Chinese New Year, because I wanted a new beginning. And that was what I got precisely. A new beginning to a new story. The chapters have been good to me. Thank you Lord.
Snip
Today I got my haircut again, no longer seeking a new beginning. I wanted my hair to look as before. I want the way things are and I do not want them to change. I know change is inevitable but holding on and hoping things will stay the way they are can be too.
Snip
Looking in the mirror, I know I have changed. I am happy now. My face may have more lines, my eyes may have darker circles or my forehead seems higher but my eyes dance with glee for the Lord has blessed me.
Several times in the past, I have been trimmed, blown dry, trimmed again, and again and again... Every now and then I still have to be heated enough to force me to yield but that is His hand working, styling me into perfection.
Snip... Snip...
My SohTirDay(Soh Tiring Day)
Early Saturday I had a CLiP tutorial on Excel. After which I prepared myself to go to the Habitat Outreach activity where we were going to build houses! I invited *** to come and surprisingly he obliged!
It was our first outreach activity together and he had all my students awed by his strength! I was more amazed that he chose to be there when he could have just chosen to stay at home and relax.
The housepartners (the beneficiaries) talked to us and a woman cried while thanking us making tears well up my eyes... Thank goodness I was able to contain them or my students would have seen. I know there is no shame in crying but I did not feel like crying at that time.
After the outreach, we were supposed to have a movie date but my sister needed a little cheering up so I suggested that we bring her along and that we watch Corpse Bride instead because it was what my sister wanted to watch.
To my delight, all three of us had a grand time! We had dinner at Kitchen, after which we went to TimeZone and played there! My sister laughed so hard that night. Maybe it's escapism, maybe it's just pure joy... I'd like to think it's the latter. It's a treat to have two of my favorite people in one place, having fun!
*** won tickets for my sister so she can get the prize that she wants. We all played Time Crisis, *** was good at it, my sister was okay and I sucked hehe! We raced on the Daytona too... I actually thought all the while that I was going to win, my rank was after all 1 all throughout the race but then again *** snuck up on me in the last few seconds and he won! When am I going to win a race with this guy? The best part was bowling though... The miniature bowling. *** is a good bowler and well he took the mini game rather seriously! My sister and I were laughing so hard for fear that the machine might collapse any time soon. *** scored most of the tickets from there!
After Time Zone, we went to see the movie. It's another masterpiece by Tim Burton. The music was great! I would even consider getting a copy of the OST! The movie is morbid as expected but really artistic in every sense of the word. There are a lot of "get it... get it" jokes too! It's an entertaining film!
My Saturday was an exhausting one but it was definitely worth every drop of energy!I was sick the whole of Saturday but I had to gather my strength to be able to deliver.
It was our first outreach activity together and he had all my students awed by his strength! I was more amazed that he chose to be there when he could have just chosen to stay at home and relax.
The housepartners (the beneficiaries) talked to us and a woman cried while thanking us making tears well up my eyes... Thank goodness I was able to contain them or my students would have seen. I know there is no shame in crying but I did not feel like crying at that time.
After the outreach, we were supposed to have a movie date but my sister needed a little cheering up so I suggested that we bring her along and that we watch Corpse Bride instead because it was what my sister wanted to watch.
To my delight, all three of us had a grand time! We had dinner at Kitchen, after which we went to TimeZone and played there! My sister laughed so hard that night. Maybe it's escapism, maybe it's just pure joy... I'd like to think it's the latter. It's a treat to have two of my favorite people in one place, having fun!
*** won tickets for my sister so she can get the prize that she wants. We all played Time Crisis, *** was good at it, my sister was okay and I sucked hehe! We raced on the Daytona too... I actually thought all the while that I was going to win, my rank was after all 1 all throughout the race but then again *** snuck up on me in the last few seconds and he won! When am I going to win a race with this guy? The best part was bowling though... The miniature bowling. *** is a good bowler and well he took the mini game rather seriously! My sister and I were laughing so hard for fear that the machine might collapse any time soon. *** scored most of the tickets from there!
After Time Zone, we went to see the movie. It's another masterpiece by Tim Burton. The music was great! I would even consider getting a copy of the OST! The movie is morbid as expected but really artistic in every sense of the word. There are a lot of "get it... get it" jokes too! It's an entertaining film!
My Saturday was an exhausting one but it was definitely worth every drop of energy!I was sick the whole of Saturday but I had to gather my strength to be able to deliver.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Goozfrabah
tick tock... tick tock...
I should still be in bed right now.
tick tock... tick tock...
Don't they know I am not feeling well today?
tick tock... tick tock...
The clock is taunting me.
tick tock... tick tock...
Tsk. Making me wait like this. This is going to be a long day of lecture on tahdah! Excel! *yawn*
It's an outreach activity that I have always gotten myself into but today I am just not feeling well and it's bugging me that the people are still not here. I should have slept some more... Or maybe... eaten breakfast? I have not taken my medication because I have not eaten because I thought I was already late for this thing... and yet what do I have? An empty room with just computers and an SA.
Goozfrabah...
I should still be in bed right now.
tick tock... tick tock...
Don't they know I am not feeling well today?
tick tock... tick tock...
The clock is taunting me.
tick tock... tick tock...
Tsk. Making me wait like this. This is going to be a long day of lecture on tahdah! Excel! *yawn*
It's an outreach activity that I have always gotten myself into but today I am just not feeling well and it's bugging me that the people are still not here. I should have slept some more... Or maybe... eaten breakfast? I have not taken my medication because I have not eaten because I thought I was already late for this thing... and yet what do I have? An empty room with just computers and an SA.
Goozfrabah...
Friday, October 07, 2005
Give Me Five!
Five months! *woot*
December of 2004, *** left for the States because he had to attend a wedding. This was a few days after he allegedly texted me after my friend gave my number to him. I never replied according to him. It could have ended there. While he was in the States, he met a friend's boss at Anaheim. The boss liked his resume and wanted to hire him. Unfortunately, he has already returned to the Philippines when the boss sent him an e-mail that he wanted to hire him already. Then, he could not return right away. He had to wait for six months.
A few weeks after he got back, he got to meet me, first via YM through a common friend and then in person. After we first met, things started to just snap into place. It was like we were meant to find each other in this lifetime.It was as though his love was that love I have waited for, for so long. That one true love I wished existed.
Now, almost eight months later, he received an email again from Anaheim. Could it be that the Lord just wanted us to meet before he starts working abroad. I do not wish to stop him from leaving. I do not want to chain him and keep him away from his dreams because from the moment I have fallen in love with him, his dreams also became mine. I just want him to be happy. I know and believe that the Lord led us to one another and that our love will be able to endure distance and time. True love transcends distance and time, right? I pray that the Lord lead him to where he should go. I trust that once again, what the Lord gives us is good.
December of 2004, *** left for the States because he had to attend a wedding. This was a few days after he allegedly texted me after my friend gave my number to him. I never replied according to him. It could have ended there. While he was in the States, he met a friend's boss at Anaheim. The boss liked his resume and wanted to hire him. Unfortunately, he has already returned to the Philippines when the boss sent him an e-mail that he wanted to hire him already. Then, he could not return right away. He had to wait for six months.
A few weeks after he got back, he got to meet me, first via YM through a common friend and then in person. After we first met, things started to just snap into place. It was like we were meant to find each other in this lifetime.It was as though his love was that love I have waited for, for so long. That one true love I wished existed.
Now, almost eight months later, he received an email again from Anaheim. Could it be that the Lord just wanted us to meet before he starts working abroad. I do not wish to stop him from leaving. I do not want to chain him and keep him away from his dreams because from the moment I have fallen in love with him, his dreams also became mine. I just want him to be happy. I know and believe that the Lord led us to one another and that our love will be able to endure distance and time. True love transcends distance and time, right? I pray that the Lord lead him to where he should go. I trust that once again, what the Lord gives us is good.
Food Trip
For the past two weeks we have been dining out to several restos haha... No wonder we're both gaining weight. I guess all that jogging makes us feel we have the right to eat more haha! Whoever said jogging will make you lose weight has not met people like us. I wonder if this is also true for other people.
North Park
Sept. 29, we ate at North Park.Hearty meal but we got to finish in time to get us home before Pinoy Big Brother! We are hooked to that show lately. I don't understand why but we are haha! I know it's really low but can you blame us, I guess there is a hint of voyeurs in all of us. Or is it just us?
Seafood Club
Sept. 30, we ate at The Seafood Club. It took so long before they served our food... we almost missed the beginning of the film Dubai. Okay before you start rolling with laughter, it was actually a decent film except for the part where Aga Muhlach started a monologue at another guy's wedding... it was not even his wedding! The groom never got to speak in the scene... Can't blame Star Cinema though, airfare is expensive and visa processing is a hassle so they just got some guy from Dubai though he cannot act hehe... It was not a love story though, as some people might think... not the romantic love story at least, it's a love story of siblings. We all know how the sibling topic can be a tear jerker at times... At least those with siblings would know anyway. Going back to Seafood Club... it took them a long time before they can serve our food that by the time our food arrived, we have already two origami crabs sitting on the table and lots of pictures taken in the resto. Their food was not bad though... just don't order chicken there haha :)) The seafood fondue was good... The dipping part was a bit tiring though.
Oct. 1, my graduation we ate at the umm... what's the name of the resto at Blue Wave? umm... The Great Pallate? It serves seafood too. We ate there with my family. *** finally got to meet my father. Papa seems to like him. :) After Blue Wave we went to EK which is my previous entry already.
Oct. 4, we ate at the Shawarma Snack Center at Malate. They have the yummiest Shawarma there!!! Super!!! You have to try it... Now if only I can remember what street it is in... It's the street before Pedro Gil coming from Luneta, in front of the L.A. Cafe. It's not hard to find.
Oody's
Oct.5, our 5th month we ate at Oodys! This was soh funny coz this month we had techie gifts for one another... He gave me an MMC card for my 6630 and I gave him a flash drive coz he lost his! I was thrilled! More pictures to store in my phone!!! After dinner we also got movie tickets for Into The Blue. The story as expected is not that impressive. There is one character there whose purpose is unknown, although I must say her character kept us guessing... I suppose we were hoping that there's more to the story than there actually was. Noteworthy however, were Jessica Alba's buns! They are just way too perfect! Wow! How is that humanly possible? :) Before we saw the movie, we also got to play at Time Zone. We got to shoot some hoops and then we played Grand BishiBashu hehe... If you have not tried that, you should. It's super fun! We wanted to do Daytona but we ran out of time. We almost (yet again) missed the beginning of the film. We're habitual buzzer beaters!
North Park
Sept. 29, we ate at North Park.Hearty meal but we got to finish in time to get us home before Pinoy Big Brother! We are hooked to that show lately. I don't understand why but we are haha! I know it's really low but can you blame us, I guess there is a hint of voyeurs in all of us. Or is it just us?
Seafood Club
Sept. 30, we ate at The Seafood Club. It took so long before they served our food... we almost missed the beginning of the film Dubai. Okay before you start rolling with laughter, it was actually a decent film except for the part where Aga Muhlach started a monologue at another guy's wedding... it was not even his wedding! The groom never got to speak in the scene... Can't blame Star Cinema though, airfare is expensive and visa processing is a hassle so they just got some guy from Dubai though he cannot act hehe... It was not a love story though, as some people might think... not the romantic love story at least, it's a love story of siblings. We all know how the sibling topic can be a tear jerker at times... At least those with siblings would know anyway. Going back to Seafood Club... it took them a long time before they can serve our food that by the time our food arrived, we have already two origami crabs sitting on the table and lots of pictures taken in the resto. Their food was not bad though... just don't order chicken there haha :)) The seafood fondue was good... The dipping part was a bit tiring though.
Oct. 1, my graduation we ate at the umm... what's the name of the resto at Blue Wave? umm... The Great Pallate? It serves seafood too. We ate there with my family. *** finally got to meet my father. Papa seems to like him. :) After Blue Wave we went to EK which is my previous entry already.
Oct. 4, we ate at the Shawarma Snack Center at Malate. They have the yummiest Shawarma there!!! Super!!! You have to try it... Now if only I can remember what street it is in... It's the street before Pedro Gil coming from Luneta, in front of the L.A. Cafe. It's not hard to find.
Oody's
Oct.5, our 5th month we ate at Oodys! This was soh funny coz this month we had techie gifts for one another... He gave me an MMC card for my 6630 and I gave him a flash drive coz he lost his! I was thrilled! More pictures to store in my phone!!! After dinner we also got movie tickets for Into The Blue. The story as expected is not that impressive. There is one character there whose purpose is unknown, although I must say her character kept us guessing... I suppose we were hoping that there's more to the story than there actually was. Noteworthy however, were Jessica Alba's buns! They are just way too perfect! Wow! How is that humanly possible? :) Before we saw the movie, we also got to play at Time Zone. We got to shoot some hoops and then we played Grand BishiBashu hehe... If you have not tried that, you should. It's super fun! We wanted to do Daytona but we ran out of time. We almost (yet again) missed the beginning of the film. We're habitual buzzer beaters!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Enchanted Saturday
Last Saturday morning I got my wings! Finally! Of course, for some it would seem so anticlimactic but not for me. I had anxiety attacks for days. There were nightmares of me forgetting my own graduation and not having an academic gown to wear. Those things... horrible really... But all that is behind me now. After going through what I had to I need not say I was ecstatic to actually finally graduate and have my hand shaken by Brother Armin.
To top it all, my father came! I was soh touched! He finally got to meet the love of my life!
Speaking of my love, he picked me up at 7:30 in the morning so I would not have to take the cab because my family does not want to take me there. Is he not the sweetest?
After my graduation, we went to Blue Wave to eat. My papa gave me my gifts and after eating we parted ways. Mom went home and so did my father. Jet had a gimmick to go to and my lil sis and I were going to EK. The plan was for me to stay with Janine the whole day but somehow when mys sister got to spend time with *** she wanted *** to come with us which was great! I got to spend time with two people I absolutely love.
Heavy flow of traffic welcomed us to SLEX and it was not an easy drive for *** given that he barely had any sleep at all...
Why?
We were out 'til early morning. We had a dinner at the Seafood Club at Greenbelt 3 and saw Dubai.
We had so much fun at EK. For the first time my little sister posed for pictures and actually smiled! Even *** was happy that she seems comfortable around him. She also chose to ride Anchors Away also for the first time! We had soh much fun!
Going home, I was very worried that *** might fall asleep because he does seem very exhausted. He has not been getting enough rest and his work has not been easy the past few days. Nonetheless, he saw us through. He got us home safe and sound.
On the way home, the streets to our house was flooded. I was amazed by how he just braved the water... I was a bit embarassed that he had to go through that much trouble considering that we ambushed him to come with us. Good thing he always has rugged clothes in his car just in case he plays Badminton.
After he left, I tried calling him to keep him awake but to no avail. His phone could not be reached. I distinctly remember that his phone was on... I thought of the worst things that could happen and of course I was worried sick. I am such a worry wart! I went as far as calling his house. I was afraid I might wake up somebody but I felt I had no choice... Nobody answered.
I found out this morning that his phone has not been working perfectly last night. Whew! I love him so much! You cannot imagine the relief I felt when I heard him say hello on the other line. I do not think I can go back to not having him in my life.
To top it all, my father came! I was soh touched! He finally got to meet the love of my life!
Speaking of my love, he picked me up at 7:30 in the morning so I would not have to take the cab because my family does not want to take me there. Is he not the sweetest?
After my graduation, we went to Blue Wave to eat. My papa gave me my gifts and after eating we parted ways. Mom went home and so did my father. Jet had a gimmick to go to and my lil sis and I were going to EK. The plan was for me to stay with Janine the whole day but somehow when mys sister got to spend time with *** she wanted *** to come with us which was great! I got to spend time with two people I absolutely love.
Heavy flow of traffic welcomed us to SLEX and it was not an easy drive for *** given that he barely had any sleep at all...
Why?
We were out 'til early morning. We had a dinner at the Seafood Club at Greenbelt 3 and saw Dubai.
We had so much fun at EK. For the first time my little sister posed for pictures and actually smiled! Even *** was happy that she seems comfortable around him. She also chose to ride Anchors Away also for the first time! We had soh much fun!
Going home, I was very worried that *** might fall asleep because he does seem very exhausted. He has not been getting enough rest and his work has not been easy the past few days. Nonetheless, he saw us through. He got us home safe and sound.
On the way home, the streets to our house was flooded. I was amazed by how he just braved the water... I was a bit embarassed that he had to go through that much trouble considering that we ambushed him to come with us. Good thing he always has rugged clothes in his car just in case he plays Badminton.
After he left, I tried calling him to keep him awake but to no avail. His phone could not be reached. I distinctly remember that his phone was on... I thought of the worst things that could happen and of course I was worried sick. I am such a worry wart! I went as far as calling his house. I was afraid I might wake up somebody but I felt I had no choice... Nobody answered.
I found out this morning that his phone has not been working perfectly last night. Whew! I love him so much! You cannot imagine the relief I felt when I heard him say hello on the other line. I do not think I can go back to not having him in my life.
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