Pampers and Huggies

I feel like Doogie Howser M.D. typing in the dark like this. I can almost hear the faint background music except Howser's interface was way cooler because he had this black screen, green blinking prompt (was it green or am I color blind or biased because I like green better than blue?). Still not bad.

I have a confession to make. I have bummed around for the past few days. Really bad I know but I felt I deserved it because I got to submit Chapter One. I know, I might have given myself more pampering than I deserve but I will make up for this by working my ass off this week.

Just today I got to see many movies! :)

I finally got to see The Tourist. While the reviewers were not raving about this movie, I liked it. I liked how Depp was able to play the dorky American teacher so well. I love how refreshing it was for him to play a down to earth person. Jolie was ravishing in every scene. She is just overflowing with sexiness. Just the other day, my friends were talking about man crushes. Jolie is my woman crush. :)

I also got to see Little Fockers, I had little expectation and that is what I got. I was able to laugh because I am not uptight but the movie is definitely not worth going to the theaters for.

Finally, I got to see Love and Other Drugs. Men would watch this for the butt and boobs exposure. I am a woman and I found Hathaway's boobs worth looking at. Wow. :) The ending made my eyes well up a bit. But that is probably because I was a bit emotional.

Maggie: I have so many places to go.
Jamie: You will still get to go but I might have to carry you.
Maggie: I need you more than you need me. That is unfair. I can't ask you to do that.
Jamie: You didn't. Let's say there is an alternate universe and there is a couple who are healthy and whose only problem is spending their money and being guilty about having a cleaning lady. I do not want that. I want this. I want you. I want us.

Awww... I thought that was really, really sweet.

I was especially emotional last Saturday night. I do not know what is up with me but I cried. I was lonely. I should not have been I know but I was. All of a sudden, I felt alone and lonely. I missed being hugged. Do not get me wrong, I used to have these problems in the past but in the past, I was younger and so were my other siblings and it was easy to get hugs out of them and then there was Tickle Me Elmo. :) I do not think Elmo would work anymore now.

I do not know. I guess, I just wanted a reassuring hug and I could not get one and that made me sad to tears. And then I had a dream that cheered me up. Towards the end though I got shot so that woke me up.

I realized that I am a person who needs affection. While I pride myself for being self-sufficient and not clingy, I actually, need affection and warmth. Though I have always known that I am more of a hug person than a kiss person. I now know that hugs are not wants.

It does not feel great too that I am gaining weight, my hips are expanding faster than the universe is and my face is giving birth to new volcanoes everyday. I feel like Big Bang is taking place in my entire body and I want to stop all these. I think I just need a good run. I only got to run once last week. This is probably just withdrawal.

I really need to run tomorrow. No ifs, no buts.

Or maybe Tuesday.

Hmm... Tuesday might be good.

Oh and yeah, thank You Lord for the hugs. You are the only one who can hug me from the inside. :) Thank You for the gift of people who give me hugs that are beyond the physical ones. I know You will help me get through this.