While strolling in a mall half-awake yesterday with my sister, I had a eureka moment. I realized that I never like where I am. I am always worrying about tomorrow that I do not get to enjoy the moment. When I was single, I wanted to be in a relationship. Eventually, I was able to fix this when I became an active member of the Singles Apostolate and Center for Arts Foundation and many other organizations. Those times were the best times of my single life. Really. I am glad I went through that phase. Best of times!
When I was in a relationship, I wanted to get married. With all the books that I have read about being single and about getting married, you would think I already understand what I was asking for. Clearly, no, I had no clue. Reading books is different from actually being in the situation. Except of course, being in the situation means you just have to live with it.
When I got married, all I could think of was wanting to become a mom. I am never in a phase while really being in the phase. I am always wishing I were in another phase. That totally ruins the experience. So now, I am simply going to enjoy the limbo where I am in. I will live my life a day at a time and see where the Lord will take me. After all, what parent will wish his child ill? Clearly not the Father.
I think yesterday, I finally realized that I have to give my life to the Potter's Hand.
I would be the most terrible of clay to mold but He is the best Potter there is.