Saturday, November 07, 2009

100% Sulk

I am sorry to sound so sappy. I really tried to focus tonight to read Environmental Psychology but my mind kept on flying off to Michael Jackson. I feel like my twelve to sixteen year old self again, obsessing about him. Blame it on the idea that my sister got to see This Is It again this afternoon with her friends while I hit the gym and did some work. Okay, I am passing the blame, I am accountable for my own obsessive behavior.

I saw a lot of his videos on YouTube again, those with his kids and I feel bad for them because now they do not have a dad. MJ seemed to be a really nice dad to them. *sigh* He was a human being like all the rest of us why couldn't they treat him like that instead of a commodity that was sold and used. It is really, really sad that he was taken away so suddenly and so soon when he still had much to give.

Okay, his last few albums were not as good as the first ones, but even so, he had so much to give to his kids and to his loved ones and to those who were in need. He lost his childhood and somehow I do not think he ever got that back and now all over again, he has lost another childhood, that of his kids. *sigh* He did not get to experience that fully either.

I hope to be able to get over this and just move on. I want to slap myself back into reality. I should not even be this affected. *Arg!* Still ,I find that I am because a lot of my inspiration back when I was younger was drawn from his well of music, magic and madness.

I have lost a hero and there is no one to take his place. I am happy there are records and there are videos still, they remain constant reminders of what the world, what I, have lost.


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