Thursday, May 26, 2005

My Braaahder ees Naaaahht aaaa Peeehg!

I just realized that I really do not like it when people accuse me of something I did not do. I can tolerate other things but not a false accusation. I will argue with you up to the last drop of my saliva, to the point of jaw cramps until one of us gets really pissed off. Yup, that's how much I hate it. It does not matter how shallow the accusation may be. How flimsy the cause of it, an accusation is an accusation and I hate it.

Tonight a coworker of mine accused me of being inconsiderate. I value my name as all the rest I guess and perhaps this is the reason why I have to rise up to my defense from time to time. It was really shallow. In fact, it's too shallow for me to even expound here because it is to a point embarrassing already.


Now I know how Nora felt when she said... My brader is nat a peeg!!!

On a lighter note...

Since May 5 my account has been screaming to the whole Friendster community that I already am in a relationship my boyfriend's friendster account for so long was still advertising him as a single man. I was of course disturbed but I did not want to demand from him. I knew that in time he will change it and I know if he did it on his own it will feel so much better. Today, I braved checking again though I was no longer expecting to see In a Relationship in his account... I was actually bracing my heart already from the pain that the page will bring. Yup, it hurts every time I go there hehe... You must wonder why I still go there... Don't ask me... Okay fine! Maybe because a part of me is hoping that one of these days it will change. Well, this afternoon I was surprised to see that he has updated his account. I was very glad!

He did say before that he could not access the site from his office and that he had to use a prepaid account from his house for him to access it and update it. I was glad he did. It made my day.

This afternoon after the 5:30 mass, I went to the sacristy/chaplain's office to talk to the priest because I had to confess. You see, while I was in Galera we failed to hear the Sunday mass. The church was far and we got to Manila at 1030pm already. I was relieved that the priest allowed me to confess right then and there. I took the opportunity to ask him too if it was okay to receive communion even if I failed to hear mass... He said it was okay since that was not a mortal sin. I was relieved again because I have been receiving communion since the day after Galera. I just don't understand why I should not receive Him. A priest once said in his homily that it was okay to receive Him even if you had sins. I just had to ask the priest again to be sure.


Kiko said...

I really wanted to comment on your "checking" of your boyfriend's friendster account, but I will desist. =)

Know this (if no priest has told you yet):

1) God is not a police type of God; not going to mass because of being in Galera will not get you to hell, and neither is it counted as a sin.

2) Forgiveness per se comes from your consciousness, not from the mortal (that is the priest). Even if he absolves you from your sins, if your consciousness still bothers you, you still won't feel forgiven.

3) Your subjective moral consciousness tells you whether you are fit to receive holy communion during a mass.

dRaMaQuEeN said...

It makes me feel good to have confessed. I have always looked upon the Lord as a forgiving God but I also think that confessing is my way of saying sorry to Him. For me it's like exerting more effort to win a friend back coz you did something wrong. I don't think I confessed because I fear the fires of hell but rather, to just make amends. The way you apologize to your parents when you did something wrong. It's not for fear that they might not love you anymore but because you want them to know you love them. :)

So about my checking my boyfriend's account... Desist no more... Spill it. I'm dying to know :)

Kiko said...

A key ingredient to keeping relationships is trust. Doing anything that questions trust is a big no-no (and that includes checking your boyfriend's friendster account). If you do not have unshakeable trust, you've got yourself a relationship timebomb just waiting to go off. [ Good God, and it's just a "Civil Status" thing.. so trivial ]

Somewhere at the back of your bf's mind he's screaming "CONTROL FREAK!". Not that he'll admit it (we never will).

In general your guy will share everything and do things when he feels like it, and the only thing you can do is to produce an environment to make him comfortable enough to do just that.

If you coerce him exhorbitantly, you might give him the impression that he made the wrong choice. Of course, you could go test his patience needlessly, but that's another reason to make him leave you.

dRaMaQuEeN said...

correction: I did not demand him to change that nor did I bring the Friendster status up ever. The only time it was brought up was when he did. I don't demand anything from my boyfriend 'coz if they do it out of their own free will it feels soh much better.

I happen to fully trust my boyfriend. I really want to make this work.