Thursday, April 07, 2005


You say you love me. You say you want to court me. Yet the time on your watch isn't in my time zone. I have been had before. Too many times already. I will not give away my heart to someone who will just trample over it.

It's so easy for you to be nice. It's effortless for you to spend the whole day at work. Invite me to eat dinner and watch a movie. Wash my week's worth of dishes. Hangout til the wee hours listening to my ramblings. Sharing your stories. Making me laugh. How do I trust this? Are you for real? Is this some demo version? Is it just a matter of time before your blue screen of death appears?

You say you have not felt what you are feeling for the longest time. That I'm special to you. Yes, I saw you adjust your watch in front of me. Sure. Like that takes care of it. LIke that will push every fear I have in my head away. It haunts me. I tried to look away and ignore it. Believe me I have. But I know if I do, it's only a matter of time that I hate myself.

I am not a doormat.

Are you saying you like me because I am here? Because I am near, convenient and accessible? You can't court us both. You have to choose. If you are not going to choose, I will have to choose for you.

One week. We are not speaking or seeing each other for a week.

I miss you already and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. I hate that this is happening to me. I hope you get to sort things out for yourself, for me and that other girl.

His last two messages:

It pains me not to be holding you when I know my heart beats and longs for you. It's harder to imagine not talking or seeing you when my mind keeps on thinking about you. Worst of all it's a torture of letting you go when deep down inside, you are really the one I love. But for sure that love will lead me back to you. Yess... I do love you! :)


... If we're really meant to be the way we want, fate willl lead us back together no matter what. And of course I want you to be really happy. This is hard. Really hard. But I know we should take it coz in the end there's something more beautifulwe are to receive or experience. I fervently pray it's you whom I'll share it with still. :)


I miss you. I know I just have to be strong. I wish you all the best and all the happiness. I am glad our paths have crossed. You are a beautiful person.


- she - said...

awww, sweetie... :(

Cherie said...

Is it just a matter of time before your blue screen of death appears?

You just had to put that in didn't you? haha... comsci na comsci ang dating... haayyy... i know you're in a dilemma right now pero, blue screen of death? ok, ok that's enough... be strong girl! if it's meant to be it will happen and like what Sheryl said, to love is to hurt, di pwede masyadong sigurista pagdating sa pag ibig, you just have to take that leap and leave some things to chance, good luck, hope you find true love and happiness ;-)

dRaMaQuEeN said...

Thanks! :)

I think I'm feeling better today. I just have to trust that what the Lord gives is good.