Written June 10, 2004 :
I have always wanted to become a newscaster but I took up Computer Science. I was afraid I might end up jobless after I graduate so I took up a course that seemed to be in demand in 1997. I thought, if I really wanted to be a newscaster, I can still be a newscaster even if I took up Computer Science.
I did not find my course easy but I managed somehow and was able to snatch an honorable mention in the end. You would think after I graduate I would go after my dream, that was what I thought too but no, I stayed in my comfort zone teaching college students. It’s fun. I enjoy it but there is a missing part of me, it has stayed locked in my heart where my deepest desire was. I still wanted to newscast.
Time and again, there would be advertisements calling for newscasters but I will never even try to pass my resume. I saw auditions as a tiresome process to achieve masochistic pleasure. A window of opportunity for people to reject and hurt you. All these changed after reading The Alchemist. I have a dream and I must run after it, it was all that I could think of after reading it. I became restless. I have only a few years on earth and I am not spending these years wandering about, thinking what might have been.
I auditioned for a newscaster position at Wazzup Wazzup. It’s a crazy news show. I met a lot of people there, some of whom I still communicate with. I felt closer to some of them than I did to some people I have spent years with. We all had common dreams and we were all there to see if we can make them come true. I passed the first and second screening but did not quite make it since they never called me. I was rejected. But I was not broken inside as I expected. I have never felt so complete and feisty at the same time.
Until the day of the audition, I have never been so starved yet full at the same time, exhausted yet energized, I have never felt so alive. I do not know yet the feeling of fulfilling my dream but what I am sure of is, my dream sure beats anything I have ever tried in my life.