Aspects of Love

2000 at the Republic of Malate Theater
after 3 hours of videoke at Music 21

The theater reminded me of the theaters during the time of William Shakespeare as portrayed in the movie Shakespeare in love. The theater was very small, it was slightly bigger than two classrooms combined... but never mind how the theater looked, it was made classy by the ambiance and the people who attended... but never mind that either. Those things are but superficial what mattered was the actual experience of the musical and how it brought us to journey with Rose, Alex, George, Giulietta and Jenny. The five characters whose love life seemed to be entangled in some sick twist. This might easily have been the inspiration of all those teen shows like Melrose Place, The O.C., Dawson's Creek and the list goes on.

The musical had a very mature topic and I am really grateful that I did not bring my little sister. Besides, the music might not be upbeat enough for her.

I shall no longer discuss how the story went for that may be looked up on the net. I shall no longer rave about how great Monique Wilson was in her role because that is to be expected. I shall not comment about how tireless and extremely talented the pianists were. I will refrain from stating the obvious that is the Filipinos are truly excellent and brimming with talent in the arts. Instead, allow me to state some things that played on my mind as I saw the musical.





Love changes everything

It changes the way you look at life and the way you live. It can mess up your world and from that moment you know it will never be the same. It can change your life, both for the good and bad. Love makes a fool of everyone and sometimes if you are lucky being a fool can make you wise.

Not so many are lucky though...



Seeing is Believing

Though hearing the sweetest of words can make one's feet leave the solid ground, there is nothing compared to the hard truth and reality of somebody's actions.


Take a Risk, Take a Ride
Sure, loving is about taking risks but there are times when the ride is well-worth it. Sometimes you don't necessarily end up where you want to go but the ride in itself can be its own reward.


There's More To Love
I think the reason why we never grow tired of discussing love is because it is beyond all of us. There is more to love than we could ever fathom as mere mortals but to just experience part of the whole, can already be unforgettable.


Love Knows No Boundaries
Love does not see age, race, face... it can only see nothing. It is how one would want to paint it.




Love has been good to me these past few months and I pray that it will continue to be good to me. As the song goes:


If you reach
For the moon,
If you aim
For the stars,
Then the moon
And the sky,
Can be yours --
Come on and try!

There's a prize
To be won
Take a risk,
Take a ride,
Right this way,
Have a go,
Try your luck --<
And step inside!
-Aspects of Love

Colossal Christmas Party

Every little thing he does is magic
Every little thing just turns me on

This song crept into my dream and suddenly jolted me into consciousness... I have a phone call. I did not have to look at my LCD to know who it was, as that ring tone is dedicated to one person. I groggily, but cheerfully answered the phone, "Hello! Gumorning! You're up early.". And it was at that moment that it dawned on me... He was going to pick me up at half past eight this morning to go the Amkor's christmas party with his sisters. Panic striken, I hurriedly gathered my stuff, and took a hurried bath. I thought of not going anymore but he insisted that I still go. After the quick bath, I got dressed quicker than I thought I would. It was just last night when I could not make up my mind what to wear. This morning, I was able to figure out right away!

A few minutes later I found myself in the car with his sisters. I feel more comfortable around them already, they are both really nice. I was very excited as this was the first time I was going to a company christmas party held at, believe it or not... Araneta Coliseum! (Trivia: I just found out that there are two ways to spell this Coliseum and Colosseum... cool) I didn't think it was for real until I got there... The mass was not until 12noon but at half past nine, already, there were people there, lots of them! That might even be an understatement.



 

I had so much fun being with my baby and watching MYMP, Toni Gonzaga, Iya Vilania, and Martin Nievera. They all performed very well! Especially Martin, who really made us laugh! Though his first few songs were rather ancient, some of the songs I have never even heard 'til this afternoon! Oh and yeah, before I forget, Jon Santos also did an impersonation of Kris Aquino! He did great, I laughed so hard!

All in all, the experience was a wonderful one. Having been able to share it with my baby made it all the more significant.

There were some moments in the show when he'd just hold me and I would close my eyes and thank the Lord for giving him to me. Some moments I would just stare at him in awe of how beautiful he is. I really thank the Lord for giving him to me. I love him with all my heart. I love him in a way I never thought I could.

P.S.

He looks especially cute when he's taking pictures with his Nikon D70S :D

Hapburdee!!!

 

All week, I have been tossing and turning wondering what gift to give him, wondering how I can make his birthday special and memorable for him. I wanted to make him feel really special 'coz after all that is how he is to me. Extraordinarily special!

I've decided on a gift that I was sure he would be thrilled to have because for months now, every time we went to the mall he would ogle at this piece of work. He would marvel at it for a few minutes like a little boy wanting a puppy would.

His birthday is December 1 but on November 30 I found myself on a bus to Filinvest. We spoke on the phone and already I asked him if he could pick me up later that night. I was supposed to be in Makati but I did not know how to squeeze in my shopping time in my schedule...

Sorry Lord, I promise to make it up to you. It was supposed to be a group reading about the gospel for this coming Sunday. I will read it in advance Lord to make it up to you.

Going back...

He had no idea I was going to go to Filinvest besides he was busy playing bowling. I was at the Filinvest mall, good thing I made it there before the mall closed. I purchased the much contemplated gift and bought a quick-wrap at Shopwise. I was so pressed for time that I wrote the message on my card as I was in line. I bought the card days ago... It took me forever to choose a card. I always take forever when choosing a card. I want something that says exactly how I feel or at least says what is closest to how I feel.

When I arrived at the lanes, it was his turn. After his turn he went back to his seat. A female teammate called for him but he waved and just kept on going. The female teammate called again but he just did the very same thing. The female friend, now a bit anxious called him again and told him I was there... Much to my delight he was very surprised! Finally, I was able to surprise him!!!

It thrilled me so much that it didn't matter that his game that night was not going very well.

He kept on peeking into the wrapped gift but I didn't want to show him yet. It was after all, officially not his birthday yet. He kept on making guesses though his first guess was right according to him it was wild one and he wasn't really expecting that that was the gift. I told him they wre a bunch of neckties hehe... I wish I could have caught his expression on video. He looked so disappointed and desperately trying to hide it.

He finally got to open the gift a few minutes after twelve, when we got the condo. He was so surprised. Maybe he was happy but I was surely ecstatic... I know now that giving indeed is better than receiving. I felt like it was my birthday instead of his. We spent the eve of his birthday together! Cool!!!

The following night, we celebrated his birthday at Friday's. I had people sing him a birthday song. There were only two of us and I just realized that there were also just the two of us when I had my birthday. He did not have a clue that it was my birthday then though. But that birthday I remember was such a great one!

We ate so much last night. It was quite a feast for both of us. He also brought his new Nikon D70S and took lots of pictures of me. Darn my eyes are so sensitive to the flash... I think I ruined every picture!

The waiter, Mico, if you're at T.G.I.F. Glorieta you might want to look for him 'coz he's really okay, he even got us a Gold Card for free!!!

All in all, the birthday of my baby was soh fun, it could have been my birthday yesterday for all I care because I had fun, maybe more fun than he had.

I love you baby!
Happy birthday!

I'm so glad we found each other and that we recognized love the instant our eyes met.

Let's celebrate more birthdays of yours together, okay?

Tagaytay Weekend Blast

Tagaytay has always been a romantic place but it has not been as beautiful as it was this weekend.

We left Manila at half past six in the evening and made our way to Las Pinas so he can pack. We had dinner there. Manang graciously offered us dinner. After dinner... it took him an hour to get his stuff packed after which we hailed a tricycle, our first ride together... it was cozy in the tricycle hehe :) another kilig moment for me! I find the kilig moments in the weirdest of places!

We alighted at Cecile's BF and waited for the rest of the people at Grazelle's. *** was going to drive the van of a female badminton friend. There was another Vitara and a Honda car. We all went up to Tagaytay all excited about the weekend! His friends were all nice to me in fact, there was never a moment that I felt out of place. Every moment was just pure, sheer fun! They were all very accommodating!

The moment we got there, somebody already set up the Magic Sing and we sang the 'til three a.m.! We had to wake up at five in the morning but I ended up waking up at six in the morning. The water was not that cold since am used to taking a shower without heater. In a few moments and a breakfast later, we were all crammed in one van and were on our way to Taal!!! It was such a fun ride because we were all in the van and all excited to go see the crater!

We met a manong along the way who charged us 3,500 for the boat going to the island. I think he also charged 600 for the tour. We all had a grand time going to the island. We were taking pictures here and there... Super trip!!!

When we got to the island, it was a typical province, the smell of horses and pigs and their manure were in the air. A horse going to the crater costs 600 which was too much if you ask us so we all agreed to just walk. And what a fun, tiring walk it was. It was a 4km hike to the crater and another 4km hike going down. It was hard because there were horse poops everywhere plus there were some horses that you had to dodge on the way up. We were actually lucky because there weren't so much horse traffic on our way up because as we were going down, more and more horses were going up because the Korean tourists were on their way up.

If you are planning to go there, I suggest you hike so you can appreciate the view more and you can even touch the craters too! Plus you get to bond with your friends more. Just don't forget to put on sunblock, wear hiking shoes or sandals, wear comfortable shoes and bring water! Don't forget a fully charged digital camera because the view going up is breathtaking! The view from the top is remarkable! Really! Every step was definitely worth the view!!! Of course it helped that my baby was with me and our first kiss on the mountain top definitely topped the highlights of the weekend!

Our tour guide was rather enthusiastic and even brought us to a cliff... He was overly enthusiastic that I later on found the love of my life, my soulmate, the one that I have waited for years and years before I met at the edge of the cliff. My stomach churned and flipped and somersaulted... I realized then and there that if something happens to him, I literally would not know what I would do. There is nobody who can ever take his place in my heart. He is precious and I don't think he knows that. At that moment I just had to clench my fist and pray that he will be kept safe. Thank you Lord for looking after him.

A few minutes later, we found ourselves in the boat again filthy as we could be! :)

We went back to Tagaytay and had lunch at Leslie's where his two female friends gave their birthday blowout. Yum!!! After lunch, we went back to the house and got our badminton, tennis, and swim gear. Yup, all those activities during that same day at Tagaytay Royale! My baby and I got to swim together for the first time in the pool!!!

I had fun with his friends in the pool too!

After swimming, we had dinner at Bag of Beans and then after which we all had some drinks at Starbucks where we had another chat.

After that, it was time for bed again and then in the morning we found our way back to LP.

You'd think the day ends there huh?

Not yet. Not with my Energizer hunny!!!

We heard mass in Makati and saw Harry Potter. Yup I did. I saw Harry Potter with him. It was not as horrible as I thought it would be but some parts were rather dragging... We had dinner before Harry Potter and then had some ice cream after the movie... A full weekend it was for me!!!

Thanks baby!!!

Thanks mom for letting me go!

Arabian Nights

Oh I come from a land from a far away place it's barbaric but hey... it's home.
Come on by, step on by, hop a carpet and fly, to another Arabian night...

Perhaps this will pass... perhaps it won't. All I know is that if a carpet flies by me I'd definitely hop on and experience that Arabian night once more.

A Case of Melancholia

I have been melancholic lately. I would love to say it's for an unknown reason and end this post right here but then I'd be lying to myself and in the end, I would not be helping myself at all.

I am sad because I do not seem to appreciate things happening around me. Lately, my glass is not half-full but half-empty. I see the pot holes and not the magnificent flower beds by my road. I get easily disappointed when I have so much to be grateful for. But that's all over because today, I will not be melancholic. I will not march through this day like a hollow zombie. I want to taste every crumb of my cake today.

Things I am grateful for:

• My wonderful and patient boyfriend who puts up with my topaks


• My family


• The Lord who has never forsaken me


• All the firsts that we have shared together





• LRT ride


• Gateway movie


• Tukneneng & Penoy


• Prayer meeting


• ...and soh much more





• For the promise of another tomorrow!


Thank you baby for putting up with my erratic mood swings. Please remember that I do love you. My topaks have nothing to do with you, it's mainly with me and my unidentified mental disorder.



• My job

Love Will Always Win

Yesterday, for our sixth month together, we opted to ride the MRT going to Gateway. It was my idea (though he claims he was thinking of it already way before I came up with it), what with the gas price hiking up like mercury in a thermometer placed in a pot of boiling magma, I could not expect him to drive so far with his car when there's a cheaper, more interesting and if you ask me, romantic way to go to where we want. We have never taken the MRT together and I saw this as a chance to go. I think it's romantic to ride the train with the man of my dreams making sure that I am safe.

On our way to the MRT ticket booth, we passed by a tukneneng shop called Balut Eggspress. I have always been fond of those quail eggs wrapped in orange batter. I pointed thme out and perhaps, seeing the longing in my eyes, he asked if I wanted some.

I had my fill of tuknenengs with vinegar and a glass of black gulaman when my attention was called by an article about how the owner got the place started. Something that I have noticed about myself, I do not bother much about the details. And so, as I read the article with my beau feeding me Penoy with orange batter I understood from skimming that they were not welcomed by the malls and so they had to settle with MRT stations.

Later that evening, on our way home in his car, we were discussing the stand and we could not agree among ourselves which it is really:

Alam mo naman kung 'di ka sikat di ka papansinin ng mga malls

or

Alam mo naman kung 'di ka sikat di ka papansinin sa mga malls

We ended up betting. My idea, since I was hell-bent sure taht I'm absolutely right. I remember the article discussing how malls won't welcome them. The wager: Another date to the Globe Platinum Cinema at Gateway and dinner. If he won I would have to pay up for the date otherwise he would have to pay again. You see, that night was our first time at Gateway adn we both enjoyed the luxurious La-Z Boy seats in the cinema while watching The Legend of Zorro. It would have been more enjoyable though if we were side by side one another instead of having a round table between us. In spite the table, we held each other's hands. We had dinner at Teriyaki Boy.

Who won?

We had our prayer meeting and mass at the AFP theater last Sunday at 10:30am. We had to wake up at 7am and then we took the LRT and MRT as agreed upon by a female co-faculty and the rest of us. The talk was great and even better it was because my baby was with me. I like it when we attend prayer meetings together.

On the way home, though exhausted, we passed by the Ayala MRT station and checked out the stand. And there, as clear as a Swarovski crystal can be, I was right.

Surprisingly though, I did not do a dance of joy. I did not gloat to my heart's content. Instead, a part of me felt bad that he lost. Then it hit me. It did not matter anymore who won or lost. It was not about winning for me anymore. This was a first for me because I am not the kind who will let up. I will gloat on end when I know I am right. But I did not. I might have been too tired but deep inside, the yearn to celebrate was not there at all but a feeling of satisfaction that what I said was right. More than that though, I have proven to myself that I do love this man and even my ego agrees.

I love you baby!

It All Started with An E-mail

I got an email last night saying that I should text back.

I was frantic when I saw the message. I was invited to go the following morning at 8am! Oh my! I texted to see if I could still confirm. I was able to. Then it dawned on me, I have nothing to wear. I got all my outfits out. Nothing seemed to be good enough. I packed them anyway.

The following morning, I woke up early. Half awake and half asleep I found my way to a gay bar called The Government in Makati Avenue.

Believe it or not, I got to the place at quarter to eight in the morning and got to go home, fifteen minutes past six in the evening.

I heard mass after.

No I have not decided finally, that I am gay.

And no, I was not there to pick up a gay person.

Definitely no, I did not pick up a macho dancer.

I went to my first ever T.V. shoot as an extra!!! I got a photo shoot too where I was not an extra. I hope they don't cut it out of the segment.

Power to Hurt

Last Sunday, he was going to drop by the unit after he drives his parents to the terminal however, my mom and my sis were still at the condo and so he chose not to drop by anymore. I understood that it was already late at night and my mom would probably not love him for dropping by at that time of night. Yeah, my brain understood but not my cheating emotions that knows no logic. I was disappointed. Very disappointed.

I guess I was not only disappointed. At the back of my mind, I was still wondering about the argument that we had last Wednesday. I was wondering if he took my negative reaction to heart. I was wondering if I tarnished our perfect relationship. I was wondering if I have blown everything again.

I have blown it alright... I have blown it out of proportions.

Sunday night, I was soh depressed that I cried. Come Monday, a colleague approached me asking if I cried. Yup!!! My eyes were that swollen. I did not want to keep it inside that Sunday night and so I talked to *** and informed him of my apprehensions. He did tell me before of wanting transparency. I did not understand why I was being such a baby about the whole thing myself... I bet he was beginning to think I was a psycho from a mental institution.

He patiently explained to me that he was not at all bothered by the discussion that we had last Wednesday. He assured me that my weight has not changed anything between us, in fact he does not think I was fat. Yes. I told him about that too. I mean if I wanted to bring things into the open, I might as well bring that up. I love him for patiently answering my questions, for lovingly assuring me and for doing it over and over again until finally I felt better. We both slept at 3am.

I know I was unreasonable but I was really depressed. It was a major PMS if you ask me.

Monday night, I was soh sad again but I did not want to bother him anymore. I thought he needed his sleep but I cried again that night. I slept with Proxy, the bear he gave me. Though my mom has instructed me not to hug that bear anymore, I knew I would go crazy if I did not hug that bear that night. I really missed him.

Tuesday night he said he was going to visit me and he did, but it took him a long time before he did and I almost thought he wasn't going to come anymore. I understand that he had a lot of work at the office and given the long weekends, he's got to finish a lot of deadlines but I guess my brain just refuses to understand when I have hormonal imbalance.

He texted me:

Sorry baby, something came up.

I felt myself grow cold with anger and disappointment. I already had food delivered and I really waited for him. I hate waiting, especially if I am doubting if the person is really going to show up.

He texted again:

ME! Please open the door, I am already here.

And he was.

I should have been joyous but I was not.

I was disappointed that he did not even text me when I have asked several times whether he was coming or not.

I got hurt because he knew how much I was wanting to see me and I felt he exploited that feeling.

Or is it my fear of getting hurt kicking in. I love him soh much and I know that gives him the power to hurt me.

He confessed that he wanted it to be a pleasant surprise.

I was too fragile for it I guess.

I cried again last night. Arrgghh!!! I have become the girl I have always loathed.

He was very amiable that night and he really explained to me again, so lovingly that he would never say he'd be there when he's not going to make it. He also emphasized that he has never disappointed me in any way and that I should never have doubted him. Nonetheless I cried and I was also as cold as could be for quite some time. He was awfully sweet that I finally melted in his arms. It was sweet making up too!

I love him. I do. So why do I punish him so?

I feel better tonight. Maybe because I got to see him last night. Maybe because I was soh busy tonight to even worry.

I have to trust what we have.

Thank you for being strong baby.

Lord Of War

The conscience is a good man's gift and an evil man's curse.

It rewards you with peace if you know you do what is right.

It torments you on end if you know what you do is wrong.

The conscience can haunt you, even the Lord of War.

You never go to war against yourself because it's a war you'll never win.-Yuri Oslov

Because that is your conscience built against the rock solid foundation for morality and values. Your superego.

He sold weapons, first to gangs, then to countries. Countries used his weapons against each other. In every war, he was always the sure winner.

Was he really?

He lost his wife and son, they left him after his wife found out about his deals.
He lost his parents.
He literally lost his brother.
All he ever had left in the end? His money and his weapons.

He never went to war against himself... so he never won.

***
I went to his bowling tournament. I got to play but I did horribly... I really must work on my bowling skills.

After which we went to Greenbelt 3 to see a movie.

Knowing Where Your Place Is

Last Thursday I lost my ring...

The night before, I got upset by his constant joke of turning me into a housewife cleaning and cooking after him. Blech!!! Most nights I would just laugh about it but that night I could not just let it go... The wheels in my head began to turn, what if he jokes with the intent to condition my mind that someday I will eventually turn into that housewife?! It was just simply unacceptable in my feminist mind. Feminist as in not going for equality but rather world domination bwahaha!!! *sinister laugh* Just kidding!!!

Actually, I would not really mind cooking and cleaning after my future husband however, I would not want him to have me do it all the time and I would definitely not want him to be lying on the couch watching me do back breaking chores.

After the conversation, though we have talked it over and he finally convinced me that he was just really kidding and that he would never dream of turning me into his personal slave, I was still upset. It takes me a while to get over things.

I washed my face and cleaned up. I took off my ring and fell asleep. I normally sleep with my ring on, but that night I thought I'd sleep without it to free my mind of the discussion that we had earlier.

Morning came and as I went to my class I noticed the ring he gave me on our first month was not where it should be. I shrugged since I would be late if I came back for it still.

Later in the afternoon, I went to my unit to get my swim gear. I still did not wear my ring because I was going to swim and I do not want it to corrode.

That evening, I realized it was missing and he was coming over!!! I was so upset. I was looking for it in the usual places where it should be and it was not there. I was close to tears when he got to the unit. He did not get upset when he realized I lost it, while helping me look for it he comforted me that he could always get a new one. I told him I did not want a new one. A new one will never fit as perfectly as what I have lost does in my finger. It will never be able to replace that warm feeling I get when I look at it. Already, I was missing the feeling of having it in my ring finger. After probably more than an hour of searching, I said a quiet prayer and decided to check my bed. Lo and behold! There lay my missing ring!!! How it got there, I really do not know! I never take my ring off in bed. But it was there and I could not care less how it got there. I was just too happy to find it.

There are times when little problems, tend to make us brush something so important aside. Losing my ring made me realize that I should never take what we have for granted because no matter how young the relationship is, it has become a very big part of me. Though I can always enter into another one, it will never feel the same way as I do in this relationship. Quietly, I vowed to always mind where I place my ring and my relationship. My ring in my jewelry box and my relationship in my heart.

So Happy Together

 

For the past three Saturdays, my little sister, *** and me have been going out together. *** and I try to cheer her up 'coz she's going through a lot in school lately.

I think she had a blast last Sunday because there was a mallwide sale at Megamall and the moment she got there she went to Comic Alley to go on an anime shopping spree! I have not had anything at all when I left the house because I swam first and then by the time I got to the unit, *** was almost there already and my sister was eager to leave. I only got to have my lunch around 4pm!

We had lunch at Sukhothai. The food there is great, I really recommend it plus the food there is not that pricey! The most fun part of lunch was when we finished the Chicken Satay and we started using the sticks as Pick Up Sticks. To those not familiar with the game, the sticks are scattered by bundling the sticks with one hand and letting the sticks go such that they are spread on the table. The object of the game is to get all the sticks without moving the other sticks. I could tell, *** and my sister are getting along well... very well!

After semi-dinner, we went bowling. Surprisingly, my sister played really well. I still suck but at least I got a 50+ and a 60+! Yahoo... my average score is 30! :D

After bowling, we had DQ dipped cones, while *** had a mudpie Blizzard. While still eating, we went inside Cinnabon to eat some more!!! Talk about pigging out!

We all went home at around 12 midnight already. There was a midnight sale and so we got to stay at the mall longer than usual!

It was a great day! My two favorite people, laughing and having fun together! I wish I caught everything on video!!!

Friday Fahtty!!!

Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo was really great! It was soh funny, I think we laughed from beginning to end with very short, negligible pauses to breathe! We saw the movie last Friday.

I felt so fat that day I swear! That's why, instead of writing about our date, I wrote some nonsense in my entry. I really felt ugly, I swear. And the weirdest thing? I thought he felt the same way and of course that only made me feel worse. He might have just realized that he has a psycho for a girlfriend when I told him about how I felt the following day but then again, maybe he has known this all along. I even called him up at two in the morning I think, just to say nothing. I was just too sad and he was too sleepy to talk a whole lot. All he could muster was some groggy 'i love you's' and some 'let's get some more sleep'. Normally, I would not think of waking him up in the middle of the night, but I was just soh sad. Usually calling him up cheers me up but at that moment, it hardly even helped. I was still sad. So I blogged away.

Badminton Birthday

 

I got to go to the birthday party of Vince's friend's girlfriend. It was a badminton tournament party. I have not played for a year already but Vince and I had a game of our own during the break. i realized that it is a fun sport and yes, I would want to play again. In fact, I plan to get my own racket soon!!! I got to be a line man and he got to be a line man and sometimes the umpire. It was my first time to see him play. He was pretty good!!! We were together the whole day!

Vince's friend took care of the logistics of the tournament. He looked so stressed, that if you ask me, I don't think he enjoyed at all. It was sweet of him to do it though. I can see that he loves his girlfriend very much. If I were the girlfriend though, I do not think I'd enjoy such party because seeing my boyfriend enjoy my party with me would be better.

The party started at 10 am and we left at around 7pm (yup the party wasn't over yet at this time). We had to leave to catch the mass at San Isidro. We both got super excited about the return of the Twister Fries and so we ate at McDo.

My mom was nice to him when we got home. She even offered him Domino's Pizza. Hmm... I hope they'd get back to how they used to be.

Lay Bare Your Heart for My Wall

Gabby Barredo's Exhibit 


 

Gabriel Barredo launched his art exhibit yesterday at the Ayala Museum. ***'s family was invited because Gabby is a family friend. *** then asked me to tag along. It was a different kind of experience. The art pieces there were spectacular. They conjured thoughts in our playful minds. The pieces were mainly made from metal scrap... Though if you really do not look hard enough, they are not scrap at all... Most pieces were of the human body. I cannot upload the pictures now but perhaps in my next post I can show you some of the pieces. There were some pieces that were mechanical which I think appealed to the engineer in ***. He was asking questions like, how does this piece work, how do the gears make it work, where is the power coming from. I was for a moment afraid he might take them apart hehe... I can imagine my father doing the very same thing.


 

It was a good learning experience for me. It somehow cleared my mind for a while, the music produced by some of the mechanical pieces played in my ear and soothed my thoughts... for a while at least. Yesterday night, Gabriel Barredo bore his mind, soul and heart to his guests. Some people took the time to understand them, some just passed them by, some disregarded the pieces of confession of thoughts and ideals as another artwork but in the end, it does not matter what other people think. He crafted with his hands his dreams, emotions, feelings and frustrations and to be able to do that, for me, is an accomplishment and a reward on its own. The joy,I wonder, to be able to touch your feelings, to literally hang your dreams on a wall and to melt and mold your frustrations, must be immensely immeasurable.

***
Yesterday night was also another opportunity to be with his family. His family is nice as I have said. I have gotten to talk to his older sister. His father is rather quiet but he is nice. His younger sister seems to be nice also but we have not gotten to talk much yet. We had dinner at Big Buddha. After which, *** drove me home.

Nocturnal Contemplation of Oblivion

Rescue me from this reverie that I have enveloped myself in. My mind is a labyrinth I cannot seem to walk out of. I am trapped within the walls of my own abyss. I pant, and I panic, but everywhere I turn seems to be a wall I walk into. Shatter the glass that encapsulates me, I want to break free and breathe once again. Slowly, my own breath is becoming the poison that kills me. I suppose this is the fate of one who chooses solitude, a lonely death and a silent one. I scream, yet no one seems to hear. I cannot blame anyone for screaming has become nothing but opening of my mouth. Nothing but silence comes out. The most deafening scream of silence that no one can hear, this is my call for urgency. I cannot breathe, and the will to do so is fading into nothingness. My chest is heavy from the invisible anvil it carries. My head whirls from unseen concerns that make my insides stir into discomfort. I am in despair and yet I myself am disconcerted, doubtful if I really am. I dove to fathom the depth of my being and now I am drowning in the silence of this reverie. I am where nobody can reach me but that One who has made me into being. Take me out of the box from where I have placed myself in. Break me free from the chains that bind me, eradicate the boundaries that I have set for myself for You have made me a free soul, meant to soar the limitless sky, dive the unfathomable sea, and explore the vastness of the universe and what is beyond it. Remove from me the brand that has marked my mortal flesh, that has haunted me from birth. Liberate me from the judgement of my own condescending eyes. Let love emanate from my very core, and let it shine into my being, that it may shed light to the darkest pits of my very soul. Let the light of wisdom, solve the enigma that is me. Let the brightness of the light shine forth to this nocturnal contemplation of nothingness, of void and of oblivion.

Pardon the cheesy piece above, I am sappy perhaps because I am moved to be so due to the circumstance my sister is in. Of course, this episode could also be attributed to the excessive narcissism that has become the pitfall of my spirit. I have gained weight and I feel ugly. Is acceptance in this lifetime beyond the grasp of every human being?

Paint a Rainbow for Her

I wish I could hold you in my arms and melt all your fears away.

Whisper in your ear words that will make everything okay.

I need you to know I am here for you. I will love you no matter what. I don't want you to fear tomorrow. I wish to assure you everything will go your way but I cannot. I do not have the power to do that.

I am a mere mortal like you and all the comforting words that I can manaage is, "Let's pray.". The Lord will not forsake you. He will do what's best for you. I know He will help you but I also want to help you. I hope that in my little ways I am doing that.

I love you, sis!

Rendezvous

 

I had my haircut today and I was going to meet him tonight.

I was so excited to see him because tonight, the stylist had my hair blown dry straight. My heart skipped when I saw him approach me. Gosh! After all these months... he still takes me breath away! Somehow when I see him, all the blood I have rushes to my face and involuntarily makes my lips spread across my face, and my eyes twinkle in delight. I guess this is love. I know this might be hard to believe since I have had two boyfriends in the past, but this is the first time I am feeling this. It is enthrilling! I want to hug him all the time. I want to be next to him and feel the warmth of his tight, strong embrace. Somehow, in his arms, I feel secure, loved and safe. This is the feeling of being with the one. Or at least I would like to think so.

We saw Transporter 2. The action scenes were superb but the story is not that impressive. I'd still recommend it to those who are into action flicks though.

After the movie, we ate at Sentro. It was my first time there and yes, I was impressed by the impeccable service and the Sinigang na Corned Beef was yummy. Next time though I plan to have Tilapia in Coconut Milk.

I love eating sinigang with *** because I get to have all the okra and the eggplant. I don't understand how he can find those disgusting. They're my favorite!

During dinner, I asked him, out of the blue who his first crush was and so on... Though it took place several years ago, there are times when I wish I were there. I wish I were the one he speaks of. I wish I were the one he has given his first roses to or the one he has given his first love letter to... But that is silly because then the timing will be off. I want to thank the Lord for making us meet at such perfect timing. I love him for being honest and for being oh so open about things of the past.

We went ballistic with the phone camera again... We have once again taken tons of pictures. Especially today that my hair is straight!

Trimming of the Shrew

Snip
There goes another inch.

How long has it been? More than eight months! Last time I was on this chair, I did not know what were ahead of me. I did not know there were big surprises in store for me.

Snip
They say people cut their hair because their hearts are broken or because they want to forget.

I cut my hair because it was Chinese New Year, because I wanted a new beginning. And that was what I got precisely. A new beginning to a new story. The chapters have been good to me. Thank you Lord.

Snip
Today I got my haircut again, no longer seeking a new beginning. I wanted my hair to look as before. I want the way things are and I do not want them to change. I know change is inevitable but holding on and hoping things will stay the way they are can be too.

Snip
Looking in the mirror, I know I have changed. I am happy now. My face may have more lines, my eyes may have darker circles or my forehead seems higher but my eyes dance with glee for the Lord has blessed me.

Several times in the past, I have been trimmed, blown dry, trimmed again, and again and again... Every now and then I still have to be heated enough to force me to yield but that is His hand working, styling me into perfection.

Snip... Snip...

My SohTirDay(Soh Tiring Day)

Early Saturday I had a CLiP tutorial on Excel. After which I prepared myself to go to the Habitat Outreach activity where we were going to build houses! I invited *** to come and surprisingly he obliged!

It was our first outreach activity together and he had all my students awed by his strength! I was more amazed that he chose to be there when he could have just chosen to stay at home and relax.

The housepartners (the beneficiaries) talked to us and a woman cried while thanking us making tears well up my eyes... Thank goodness I was able to contain them or my students would have seen. I know there is no shame in crying but I did not feel like crying at that time.

After the outreach, we were supposed to have a movie date but my sister needed a little cheering up so I suggested that we bring her along and that we watch Corpse Bride instead because it was what my sister wanted to watch.

To my delight, all three of us had a grand time! We had dinner at Kitchen, after which we went to TimeZone and played there! My sister laughed so hard that night. Maybe it's escapism, maybe it's just pure joy... I'd like to think it's the latter. It's a treat to have two of my favorite people in one place, having fun!

*** won tickets for my sister so she can get the prize that she wants. We all played Time Crisis, *** was good at it, my sister was okay and I sucked hehe! We raced on the Daytona too... I actually thought all the while that I was going to win, my rank was after all 1 all throughout the race but then again *** snuck up on me in the last few seconds and he won! When am I going to win a race with this guy? The best part was bowling though... The miniature bowling. *** is a good bowler and well he took the mini game rather seriously! My sister and I were laughing so hard for fear that the machine might collapse any time soon. *** scored most of the tickets from there!

After Time Zone, we went to see the movie. It's another masterpiece by Tim Burton. The music was great! I would even consider getting a copy of the OST! The movie is morbid as expected but really artistic in every sense of the word. There are a lot of "get it... get it" jokes too! It's an entertaining film!

My Saturday was an exhausting one but it was definitely worth every drop of energy!I was sick the whole of Saturday but I had to gather my strength to be able to deliver.

Goozfrabah

tick tock... tick tock...

I should still be in bed right now.

tick tock... tick tock...

Don't they know I am not feeling well today?

tick tock... tick tock...

The clock is taunting me.

tick tock... tick tock...

Tsk. Making me wait like this. This is going to be a long day of lecture on tahdah! Excel! *yawn*

It's an outreach activity that I have always gotten myself into but today I am just not feeling well and it's bugging me that the people are still not here. I should have slept some more... Or maybe... eaten breakfast? I have not taken my medication because I have not eaten because I thought I was already late for this thing... and yet what do I have? An empty room with just computers and an SA.

Goozfrabah...

Give Me Five!

Five months! *woot*

December of 2004, *** left for the States because he had to attend a wedding. This was a few days after he allegedly texted me after my friend gave my number to him. I never replied according to him. It could have ended there. While he was in the States, he met a friend's boss at Anaheim. The boss liked his resume and wanted to hire him. Unfortunately, he has already returned to the Philippines when the boss sent him an e-mail that he wanted to hire him already. Then, he could not return right away. He had to wait for six months.

A few weeks after he got back, he got to meet me, first via YM through a common friend and then in person. After we first met, things started to just snap into place. It was like we were meant to find each other in this lifetime.It was as though his love was that love I have waited for, for so long. That one true love I wished existed.

Now, almost eight months later, he received an email again from Anaheim. Could it be that the Lord just wanted us to meet before he starts working abroad. I do not wish to stop him from leaving. I do not want to chain him and keep him away from his dreams because from the moment I have fallen in love with him, his dreams also became mine. I just want him to be happy. I know and believe that the Lord led us to one another and that our love will be able to endure distance and time. True love transcends distance and time, right? I pray that the Lord lead him to where he should go. I trust that once again, what the Lord gives us is good.

Food Trip

For the past two weeks we have been dining out to several restos haha... No wonder we're both gaining weight. I guess all that jogging makes us feel we have the right to eat more haha! Whoever said jogging will make you lose weight has not met people like us. I wonder if this is also true for other people.

North Park 
Sept. 29, we ate at North Park.Hearty meal but we got to finish in time to get us home before Pinoy Big Brother! We are hooked to that show lately. I don't understand why but we are haha! I know it's really low but can you blame us, I guess there is a hint of voyeurs in all of us. Or is it just us?

Seafood Club 
Sept. 30, we ate at The Seafood Club. It took so long before they served our food... we almost missed the beginning of the film Dubai. Okay before you start rolling with laughter, it was actually a decent film except for the part where Aga Muhlach started a monologue at another guy's wedding... it was not even his wedding! The groom never got to speak in the scene... Can't blame Star Cinema though, airfare is expensive and visa processing is a hassle so they just got some guy from Dubai though he cannot act hehe... It was not a love story though, as some people might think... not the romantic love story at least, it's a love story of siblings. We all know how the sibling topic can be a tear jerker at times... At least those with siblings would know anyway. Going back to Seafood Club... it took them a long time before they can serve our food that by the time our food arrived, we have already two origami crabs sitting on the table and lots of pictures taken in the resto. Their food was not bad though... just don't order chicken there haha :)) The seafood fondue was good... The dipping part was a bit tiring though.
Oct. 1, my graduation we ate at the umm... what's the name of the resto at Blue Wave? umm... The Great Pallate? It serves seafood too. We ate there with my family. *** finally got to meet my father. Papa seems to like him. :) After Blue Wave we went to EK which is my previous entry already.

Oct. 4, we ate at the Shawarma Snack Center at Malate. They have the yummiest Shawarma there!!! Super!!! You have to try it... Now if only I can remember what street it is in... It's the street before Pedro Gil coming from Luneta, in front of the L.A. Cafe. It's not hard to find.

Oody's 
Oct.5, our 5th month we ate at Oodys! This was soh funny coz this month we had techie gifts for one another... He gave me an MMC card for my 6630 and I gave him a flash drive coz he lost his! I was thrilled! More pictures to store in my phone!!! After dinner we also got movie tickets for Into The Blue. The story as expected is not that impressive. There is one character there whose purpose is unknown, although I must say her character kept us guessing... I suppose we were hoping that there's more to the story than there actually was. Noteworthy however, were Jessica Alba's buns! They are just way too perfect! Wow! How is that humanly possible? :) Before we saw the movie, we also got to play at Time Zone. We got to shoot some hoops and then we played Grand BishiBashu hehe... If you have not tried that, you should. It's super fun! We wanted to do Daytona but we ran out of time. We almost (yet again) missed the beginning of the film. We're habitual buzzer beaters!

Enchanted Saturday

Last Saturday morning I got my wings! Finally! Of course, for some it would seem so anticlimactic but not for me. I had anxiety attacks for days. There were nightmares of me forgetting my own graduation and not having an academic gown to wear. Those things... horrible really... But all that is behind me now. After going through what I had to I need not say I was ecstatic to actually finally graduate and have my hand shaken by Brother Armin.

To top it all, my father came! I was soh touched! He finally got to meet the love of my life!

Speaking of my love, he picked me up at 7:30 in the morning so I would not have to take the cab because my family does not want to take me there. Is he not the sweetest?

After my graduation, we went to Blue Wave to eat. My papa gave me my gifts and after eating we parted ways. Mom went home and so did my father. Jet had a gimmick to go to and my lil sis and I were going to EK. The plan was for me to stay with Janine the whole day but somehow when mys sister got to spend time with *** she wanted *** to come with us which was great! I got to spend time with two people I absolutely love.

Heavy flow of traffic welcomed us to SLEX and it was not an easy drive for *** given that he barely had any sleep at all...

Why?

We were out 'til early morning. We had a dinner at the Seafood Club at Greenbelt 3 and saw Dubai.

We had so much fun at EK. For the first time my little sister posed for pictures and actually smiled! Even *** was happy that she seems comfortable around him. She also chose to ride Anchors Away also for the first time! We had soh much fun!

Going home, I was very worried that *** might fall asleep because he does seem very exhausted. He has not been getting enough rest and his work has not been easy the past few days. Nonetheless, he saw us through. He got us home safe and sound.

On the way home, the streets to our house was flooded. I was amazed by how he just braved the water... I was a bit embarassed that he had to go through that much trouble considering that we ambushed him to come with us. Good thing he always has rugged clothes in his car just in case he plays Badminton.

After he left, I tried calling him to keep him awake but to no avail. His phone could not be reached. I distinctly remember that his phone was on... I thought of the worst things that could happen and of course I was worried sick. I am such a worry wart! I went as far as calling his house. I was afraid I might wake up somebody but I felt I had no choice... Nobody answered.

I found out this morning that his phone has not been working perfectly last night. Whew! I love him so much! You cannot imagine the relief I felt when I heard him say hello on the other line. I do not think I can go back to not having him in my life.

Light Up My Life

I am a drift wood aimlessly floating in the open sea.

Every morning I wake up and I go about my routine like the gears of a clock systematically move every second of the minute of the hour of the day. Where have all the drive and passion for what I do gone? Has the fire been extinguished by the cold gush of the rigors of the previous months?

I feel cold, eyes unable to focus in front of the minds I need to feed. Can they tell? Can the see my hollow self as I bare the syllabus in front of them. I want to give more and yet to no avail. My spirit is unwilling.

Lord light up my desire again to serve in Your name, to glorify You.

You have planted me here and I wish to bloom and grow for You. Shower me with guidance for I am beginning to wilt...

Amazing... that's what You are. A few minutes after I wrote you have answered my call. Thank You for taking the time to direct me to a course again. Thank you for reminding me why I do what I do. Leave me never my Lord for I am lost without You.

Let's Get Physical (Physical)

I had fun yesterday jogging at the sports complex with tananantanan... my baby!:) Yes, after more than a month we got to jog again!

Whew!

Tiring but nonetheless refreshing afterwards. Hope we can consistently do this! We were so tired and hungry that we found ourselves at Wai Ying later that evening munching on some dumplings and other oh so heavenly yet sinful food hehe... maybe not that sinful since some of our orders were steamed and not fried.

After jogging he dropped to do some push-ups... wow can he do push-ups!I was daring him to do crunches. I positioned myself and he refused to do it with me since he just finished a round of push-ups. I started mine while he was trying to check if there were contractions in my abdomen and well... there was minimal contraction and that was when he showed me how to do it really. Darn! The correct way was indeed much more difficult. Whew! my abs feel tighter today. I should keep on doing that.

Yesterday he posted a friendster testimonial for me. Call me cheesy, but I cried reading it. I was surprised and I was touched by the words that he said.

I really feel blessed. I do. I pray that the Lord continues to shower us with love, joy, trust and understanding.

I Need A Hero!!!

After the 4:30pm mass a co-faculty of mine and I went to the Center for Arts Foundation, Inc. They were opening the new venue near GMA (near is a relative word... I should remember that). We got off the GMA station and went down the wrong side so on we went to climbed three gargantuan flights of stairs. Afterw which, we walked a gigantic block and then we saw the sign.

The concert was okay but it was hard to have fun when I was also thinking how I was going to get home. I thought my cofaculty was going to take me home. It was only that night that he made clear to me that he was not taking me home. I could take the jeep from EDSA but... well it scared me of course especially since it was already late. I felt bad but I also understood that my cofaculty lives in Laguna. Still a part of me was gritting... I did not want to call *** for favors like this. I did not want to disturb his relaxation at home. I also do not want to be overly dependent and needy and I know he needs his rest but I was left with no choice. I texted him if maybe he could pick me up...

Where have all good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

He texted me an instant yes. My heart jumped because though I would have understood if he texted me a no, I'd be hurt. I was holding my breath until he texted me that he can pick me up. He was going to pick me up! I told him I'll take the MRT with my cofaculty to Ayala and then I can just wait somewhere near Oakwood. A few minutes later I called him up, he was already in Ayala. He said he would wait for me at the escalator going to SM. Wow! I cannot believe this guy... To think he was watching a TV show when I texted him. He did not even wait til the show was over. He is my hero, my prince, my true love. I only had to text him once... I did not even have to call to ask him to pick me up.


Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me


Up Where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there’s someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood


I really thank the Lord each day that He gives me with him. I am and will always be grateful that our paths met.

Thank you for being the hero I have always hoped for. I have always known there's one out there especially made for me.

I love you so much baby. I mean it every time.

Holding On To A Hero - Footloose

Footloose

Last Saturday was such a blast!!!

In the morning I woke up invigorated, I thought I might jog with my baby that morning but I saw how topsy turvy the unit was and I did not want my mom to hit the roof again because everything's a mess so I decided to clean up rather than call *** right away. We both slept late because I attended the prayer meeting while he went to Gilligan's Festival Mall with his officemates to eat and have a few drinks. He got home really late because he had to drive his friends home.

It was already eleven by the time I finished cleaning up and it was only at that time that I called ***. We were supposed to jog that morning but when I called him up I got "Uhhhh... Hello? Hmmm..."*cracking voice* I knew then no jogging was going to take place. I didn't mind though, I got to clean the unit already and that's as good as any exercise for me! Whew!!!

He picked me up past twelve... I wore the new dress my mom bought me. I particularly like it coz it's sporty so I wore it with a pair of rubber shoes. :)I love rubber shoes... I'll wear them all the time if I could get away with it except when I have to swim of course.

We got to videoke from 1:30pm to 5:30 pm with some of my co-faculty members. It was fun. I hope *** had as much fun. I enjoyed just sitting side by side with him. These days, I miss him more than usual. It's like I want to be beside him all the time but I know that should not be the case.

After the videoke, we went to the Meralco Theater to get our tickets. We had to get there an hour before the show to get the tickets because I just reserved through the phone. *** got us there in 30 minutes. He's a very skilled driver, unlike me. :) Let me rephrase that we have different skill sets... where his skill set includes getting us to where we need to go without getting lost, mine includes evading cops after counterflowing and beating the red light. Which one of us is a better driver? I'll leave that up to you!

We picked up the tickets, I went to the restroom and lo and behold, JR and Iya were standing there signing some autographs. I immediately went through my bag for a pen and I had them sign my tickets. They were nice enough... I even had my picture taken with JR. Iya was really nice calling JR to sign the tickets for me. My boyfriend was soh supportive the whole time hehe... That's what I like about him, I can be myself around him. I don't have to pretend at all.

We went out to Pho Hoa to have some dinner and then we went back to the Meralco Theater. *** was nice enough to get the car for us coz we were all running late. We made it in time though with lots of time to spare. We were supposed to sit with Aga according to the ticket guy. I was able to get the Center tickets because there were people who backed out... I was given the tickets beside Aga supposedly... I found out later on that Aga was not Aga Muhlach but some old guy hehe... Nah... There were two vacant seats so perhaps they were supposed to sit there. We had the best seats in the house!

The musical was great! I had fun watching it. It amazed me how much hardwork they really put into it. I can imagine how difficult it was to master the steps, the delivery, the coordination of everything. The creativity of stage acting and production has never ceased to amaze me!

I was also very glad that *** and I were able to share this together. For a while I thought musicals do not interest him but as it turns out, he enjoyed it as well as I did. It feels good to be able to share with him something I enjoy. I really should learn how to bowl...

On the downside... I got to see my second ex there with his ex who happens to be a former classmate of *** whom I think liked *** back in high school. You might need a diagram for that. It was awkward but I think everyone handled that well enough.

My Saturday was amazing. Everything kept falling into place. We would look for a good parking and a nice spot will suddenly become available. We wanted the best seats in the house and suddenly we can have them. We could have gotten there late but we arrived minutes before. It was the death anniversary of my beloved lola last Saturday. I have a feeling that it was her who was also looking after us. She was always the generous and loving lola. I love you lola. I know you are in the loving arms of the Father Almighty.

Thank you baby for the wonderful time! My words are not enough to paint my happiness last Saturday. You are everything I have every dreamed of in a person. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I look forward to more moments with you! I love you very, very much!

A Day of Gold

 

Today is the 50th birthday of my favorite aunt of ***. She's so bubbly! I like her husband too. I got to see Mama again as we all fondly call his grandmother who is already 82 but can still host a party and have everyone sing and laugh, teach line dancing to the tune of Don't Break My Heart My Achy Breaky Heart, sing and dance 'Til There Was You, read and commentate for masses, not to mention that she's always all made up and dressed up... She can put Imelda Marcos to shame! I wish I could be as kewl as her when I reach my golden years err... platinum?!

I was soh nervous and anxious on the way to the party. We had to drop by at the airport because my fave tito and his son (***'s godson) were waiting for a lechon from Cebu. For the one and a half hour that we were waiting inside the running car (My fave tito of his did not want to turn off the engine because it was hot) my tummy was doing a world-series gymnastic routine... I was fearful of meeting his mom for the first time. Yep, today was the day...

When we got to the party, almost all the guests were there already. His mom and his sisters were there already. I greeted Mama first and then I was introduced to his mom. I kissed his mom and his mom's other two cousins. His mom was warm and friendly. We occupied another table with his sister and his sister's boyfriend. I was a bit thankful for this because I was at this point still afraid of his mom.

The program began with the speeches. Followed by the dancing. His mom asked me to dance with Mama and I did not refuse hehe... Being the game person that I am I boogie-d with Mama until she told me she was exhausted already. I panicked when she told me because she has just been to the hospital the the week before due to over exhaustion and mild stroke. She asked me to dance with ***'s mom. We danced and we both seemed to have a great time.

His elder sister plays the organ at St. Joseph and that afternoon, she had to play for a wedding so we all went to go to St. Joseph. It was my first time to get so close to the bamboo organ, I even got to touch the keys... I was tempted to play Mary Had A Little Lamb hehe... I had fun. I even got to meet ***'s teachers because they were distributing report cards today too!

We left St. Joseph after the meet and greets and proceeded to ***'s house in LP because my beloved has not taken a bath yet. He failed to do so because early that morning he was already asked to pick up the lechon and that took up most of the morning... by the time we all got to the party he could not leave anymore because the people there would not let him.

It was also my first time to go to his house. They had three very aggressive dogs but they did not do anything to me so that was okay. I got to meet Manang, their househelp who was also very nice to me. Now, I don't have to fear calling *** at home because now we're friends.

Once he was all freshened up, we (***, his sister, his sister's bf and myself) went back to the party as his mom instructed us to have dinner there still. We sang on the videoke some more, line danced, danced the swing and the boogie, had dinner and then watched Big Brother.

Saturday was indeed a great day... :)

Hope to the Lord his family likes me coz I sure like them a whole lot!

After I got home, everything went downhill... My mom was pissed.

Is she jealous? I really don't know. Things have not been the same lately. She seems to be always on our (*** and me) case. I hope things will fall back into place so we can all be happy again.

And So On And So Fourth...

 

I had it all planned out. I had a surprise that I wanted for him. He has been surprising me for so long... This time around, I wanted to do something for him. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen turn of events, I was unable to carry out my plan. Being the person who rarely plans, I was immensely disappointed when the way I envisioned things did not materialize. I consoled myself but I guess concealing is not among my talents.

He had to pick up his parents and my surprise required us to be at a certain place by 7pm. By 7pm he had to be home to pick his parents up. He fetched me at 530pm to get some fruits so we can visit his friend who was found to have a malignant tumor in his thyroid. The flow of traffic was rather heavy so going to UST was already impossible. Instead, he drove me back to the condo. He wanted me to come along to pick his parents up but the idea of sitting in a car with his parents scared me... I mean what do we talk about? I don't want them to think also, if ever *** fails to get there before 7 that it was all because of me. I just want my slate as spotless as possible.

While we were in traffic, he gave me an orange gerbera from Designer Blooms. There was a card attached to it and I was glad because the last time I got a card from him was months ago... :) I gave him a card and a letter (being the wordy person that I am). I did not have a gift for him since the gift was supposedly the surprise... Oh well... Maybe next month.

I gave him a wallet instead which took me a while to find. :) But finally I found it and I do hope he liked it. He was looking for a wallet a few days back and I also saw that his wallet was a bit worn out already.

Our fourth month celebration lacked the luster that our previous months had but it reminded me that we don't need a flashy celebration for us to be happy.

He came back for me after he drove his parents to the terminal. After he picked me up I was okay. I was very glad that we are together and happy.

The following day, I asked him to pick me up from RP because I had to buy drinking water for the house. After he left the unit at around 1am, I heard the bell ring. I looked in the peep hole and saw nothing. I was a bit alarmed because if that were him, he could have shown his face. I was thinking it was him, that maybe he forgot something. I even called my brother and my brother was so alarmed he almost called security. A few more minutes, *** called. I asked him if he was the one who rang our bell. He said yes. I told him I did not open the door. He asked me to open the door, and there... I saw a giant bear clad in a blue striped sweater. Similar to the small bear he gave me when I finished my thesis. I was so surprised I gasped out loud and let out a shriek... the units along the all must have heard it for it echoed for a while.

I named the small bear Thesis because he gave that to me as a congratulations gift for finishing my thesis. I named the big bear, Proxy because he's his substitute for when he cannot be around for me to hug. He smells of his perfume... hmm... I am so in love with him. I love hugging Proxy!

A Saturday of Firsts

This Saturday was a bunch of firsts... I didn't know so many firsts can be crammed up into one Saturday but hey I am not one to complain. I am glad we shared the following firsts last Saturday:

• FX ride together


• Trip to Binondo together


• Dine at Wai Ying together


• Walk in the rain under one umbrella together


• Trip to Divisoria together


• Shopping at 168


• TAS Trans bus ride together


• Singles Apostolate Prayer Meeting together

The trip was great.

It actually started out as a small talk at the Singles Apostolate Encounter Weekend. My co-apostolates were talking about 168, a mall that sells really cheap shoes. Being the thrift that I am I just had to go. By thrift, I mean buying stuff when they are cheap, regardless of whether I need them or not.

Anyway, I told *** about my plan of going to Divi to go to 168 and then he offered to go with me. He is soh sweet!!! I love that guy soh much! DV shopping is supposed to be stressful but not for me, well at least not when I am with my baby. He took care of everything carrying everything I bought... He is not the typical guy who hates shopping... well maybe if he actually does hate it, he doesn't show it. He never showed disinterest in what we were doing, in fact on several occassions (most of the time actually) he was helping me decide.

We rode the FX going to Binondo because I did not want him to drive to Divi given that I do not know where in Divi 168 really is and I know getting a vehicle in that area is like banging your head to a jagged boulder.

We had our first FX ride going to Binondo, it was a relatively smooth ride and we even saw the manager of La Casita. We asked him where 168 was but he was unable to give us instructions... I was optimistic though that we will be able to find our way. I suggested to eat lunch at Wai Ying since I promised a few months back that I will bring him there when I am done with my thesis. Lo and behold, finally I am! :)

We had a heavy, hearty, yummy lunch (Those adjectives are all the juvenile words that I can muster to describe our feast)! It rained as we ate and it was still drizzling after we got out of the restaurant. It was a good thing I brought an umbrella. The people we asked said we can walk to 168. Fortunately, a woman was able to give us a more detailed set of instructions and my boyfriend was sensible enough to pay attention and remember them. If it were not for him we could have gotten lost and found our way to Recto or some other remote, unheard of area. As we walked, he held the umbrella over our heads. He really took care of me.

When we got to 168, my eyes where sparkling with delight or at least I felt like they were because I was ecstatic (there were no mirrors around at the time)! I wanted to buy one pair of girly shoes, but I ended up buying three pairs of shoes and two girly bags! All for my budget of 1210!

We went home by riding a jeep outside 168 and then we alighted in front of Manila City Hall and took a TAS Trans bus from there. It was fun how he never really lost his cool though it was a bit humid and it was raining. It took a while too before we could get a ride but he was fine with it. He even said we could always go back again.

We put everything that I bought in the unit and then we proceeded to St. James to attend the Singles Prayer meeting. He was reluctant to attend because he knew no one but he yielded after I asked him over and over. The prayers and even the songs were ok with him save for somebody whom he thought gave him a cold shoulder... That guy has some explaining to do... But I'd like to think he just did not have a good day.

He drove me back home to Taft where we hung out for a while.

Thank you baby for that amazing Saturday!

I had so much fun!

Reason To Teach

If you think being a teacher is the craziest and rewardless profession, read on:

To the dearest +++,

One fo the most supportive teachers I have met in college, she has been a professor who has left a great mark in me. She would not probably know about it and I would like to take this opportunity to reveal this all to you.

Of the professors, I have always hoped she would be my teacher again and again. Unfortunately, I only became her student in one course, I like the way she teaches. She does not give pressure to students and she teaches as if the subject is very easy. What is best is that we learn from her and we enjoy studying with her.

I admire her faith to the Almighty. I have always admired how she would go to mass everyday no matter how tired and how busy she is, how she would commit herself to anything for God, how she has committed to FORMDEV classes, how she shared her faith to students. I have learned a lot form her. In times, when I had a hard time hanging on to my faith afer He has taken my dad away, she was one of the people who have taught me to stay with my faith. I did not need direct words from her but her actions spoke more than her words. And her actions were enough to encourage me. She did not know this, but whenever I see her at mass, she was there walking gracefully, her face full of joy as if she had no problems at all. She walks with God's light radiating in her and I would always admire, that I would want to be an inspiration like her too as I was tearfully crying in the back. Yes, I have learned a lot from her when it comes to faith.

From the moment that I was acquainted with a professor named +++, she has been confident of my potentials. Although, I would not believe hat I could do a lot, she has been the person who always believes I can do it. She puts a lot of trust in her students. She has guided me a lot in my college life. She has guided me in ways she would not have probably remembered. Her smile, her words of wisdom, words of encouragement and words of support have always made me take and overcome challenges in my college life.

I only wish the best for her. I hope you continue to inspire and encourage students like how you have inspired me. Thank you so much. Words could not express how truly grateful I am to have known you. :) God bless you always. You will always be in my prayers.

With all love,

###

This is a letter from my student who is now working at HP. A leadership awardee and president of a professional organization. She is a masterpiece really.

This letter is enough reason for me to stay in the academe.

End of the Tunnel

Finally, it is over.

I have gotten to the finish line.

I now bask in the sunlight after reaching the end of the tunnel. The warmth is too overpowering but I find joy in it. I slowly regain energy engulfed by the love that I feel strongly now for life, and for those who stayed with me even in the dark. The darkness, as ironic as can be, brought me into the realization of the immense love that surrounds me.

I am glad I never threw the baton. I am glad I risked failing for the slightest chance, possibility to make it to the finish line.

Thank you baby for cheering me on, for keeping me going, for believing in me.

I love you so much.

Thank you to those who prayed, helped and supported me.

My emotional, physical, and mental strength alone could not have carried me to the finish line.

Of Strikes and Spares

 


Today is his bowling finals tournament and I am happy because I am going to get to watch him play. Tonight, I will rest from my thesis first because tonight is my baby's night. I will cheer for him! He is quite a bowler actually... Last week (I just had to see him play, I promised to be there) I saw him play. He would look at me and tell me, "This strike is for you" before he goes up to his lane and he will score a strike. Wow! So that's how it feels like to have someone score for you! Kewl! I can get used to this haha! He did play better when I was there, so much better that everyone in his team was teasing him about bringing me again to the next game which is tonight... He scored 170 and 173 in his last two games while in his first game he scored 143 I think... His past games have not been really as good as his last two games so I am inclined and would like to think so that I really do inspire him. I'm looking forward to tonight's game!!!

After bowling last week, we went to see a concert or what was remaining of the concert hehe... He got free tickets to the MTV Right to Royalty Concert and all we got to see were the oldies... like Kuh Ledesma, Mitch Valdez singing songs that the old ones would enjoy. It was fun nonetheless because I was with my baby. That was the first concert that we saw together. Anyway, after the concert, I was still at a partying mood. I was in a partying mood before the concert, in fact I was looking forward to dancing in the concert but the songs sang were very close to "Dito ba? O dito ba?... " I don't know what comes next... anyway needless to say I wanted to go and party still... so we went to Malate. I drove because I had to drive to Rockwell because I was going to go there late. My classes end at 440 and he had to be htere at 5pm. I drove us to Malate and partied until 3am. After which I drove him back to his company so he can get his car. I thought he was going to go home already so I waved goodbye after I got into SLEX. To my surprise he followed me all the way to the condo! He got home at around 430 am already. I thought that was just too sweet!

Today, we also celebrate our 3rd month of loving each other... Hmm... Wonder where we're going to hang out tonight after the tournament. It doesn't matter where... so long as I am with him.

Happy 3rd Month

 

I have written a blog for this day but since I cannot wait to post about this event, let me just write another. It has been, after all, a very long time since I last posted anything so allow me to demonstrate how blog-starved I am.

I was at the faculty room, getting really annoyed already with the printer and the FinePrint software that I was using for the booklet that I was to give him for a 3rd month gift. I compiled sons in the CD, those that expressed my feelings for him. However, my computer and its memory were not cooperating. I think I had to print four times and restart more than that number. I finished past 12 already and the guard was ready to evict me.

Thirty minutes after I got home, I heard some knocks on the door, and lo and behold my handsome prince was standing outside holding the most colorful flowers I have ever seen. He brought me, five dozens of roses wrapped in orange abacca... It was the biggest bouquet so far... and the most colorful too. Unfortunately for me, I had colds so I could not smell the flowers. Though the very next day I brought the flowers to the faculty room, everybody told me that they were very fragrant... Anywa, going back... He brought with him also a gift. I could not put down the flowers because they were so pretty. I did not want to mess up the petals of the roses. I settled them in between the armrests of our two couches so they are standing up.

He asked me to guess what the gifts were... So there was more than one. Hmmm... He gave me two cluess: 1) It's our first 2) It's your second... I racked my brain for an answer but nothing came. As it turned out, it was an original Hitch DVD. It was our first movie that we watched together with a friend and it is now my second original DVD, the first one being My Fair Lady which my father gave me. He is soh sweet! The second gift according to him is something that I have been looking for, for so long. This I was able to guess, the instant he told me the clue. It was the Dimsum CD. I have been looking for it from different malls but to no avail. I wanted to get one because I liked TY4URLV and because the female vocalists were classmates of mine from St. Paul. I can't believe he was able to find a copy. This guy is just too sweet!

I gave him my gift, though the label was not in place yet, I was going to place our picture as the CD label but because I was running out of time already, I had to give it to him already. That day was going to be very hectic for me and I knew I will no longer be able to work on it anymore. He accepted and I hope he did like it because it did take me a while before I could put it together.

That night, he had a Finals Bowling Tournament and I was late. I had to do a project with a cofaculty... I did not do much really though because I did not find the time to do it during the week with my thesis on top of my class preparations. I only got to see his last game.

He won two medals!

After the game, we went to Greenbelt III because we wanted to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Before we got to the theater, there was a girl who cannot get her car out because some other car, doubleparked his car opposite her har. I came back to the car to get my shoes, because I forgot I was still wearin slippers... When I came back *** was already inside the car helping out the girl. He got her out of trouble alright. He looked so cute and I could not have been more proud to stand there as his girlfriend. My boyfriend has such a big heart. Hopefully, it's not too big that girls would start snatching it from me.

After the movie that we had so much fun watching, we went to his company to get his car because I drove the entire evening so we can stay in one car. We drove back to my place to have dinner and watch some TV and just hang out. We wanted every second because the next day I will be too busy again. I am always busy because of my thesis and a million other things that I need to do.

It's amazing how it has been three months and I am still soh happy with this man. He is simply the best boyfriend in the world and I love him oh so much.

Thank you baby for the three months. I pray that we will have more months together, that will become more years, that will become decades, that will form a lifetime.

I love you.

Tribute to Antoine de Sainte-Exupery's Muse

Three months have passed since you took my heart for you to love and take care of and you have done nothing short of that. These past three months, I have never felt as loved as I have ever been in my life. It's amazing because this trimester has been the most hectic trimester for me, with the new subject I am teaching right now, the Saturday classes I have been taking, the target to finish my thesis among the many other stressors and yet you were able to keep me calm. I had my moments when I just broke down and cried but you were there to comfort me, it did not matter wherever you were with whomever.

Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for never faltering. Your thoughtfulness, like bringing me ice cream when I'm so stressed, or offering to check papers touch me deeply. Thank you for driving all the way to Taft just so you can give me a hug when I really need one badly. Thanks for finding time during the day to call me and to check if I'm sleeping again instead of working... Thanks for always reminding me to eat when I am forgetting... Thanks for reminding me that I still need to exercise and take a breather from time to time. Thank you for allowing me to party right after I submitted my documents. Thank you for making the most out of the stolen moments that we had while I was still doing my thesis. Just a bit more baby and I will be able to give you more of my time...

I am truly grateful to have someone like you in my life. You have proven to me that indeed "True love consists not of gazing at each other's eyes but in looking towards the same direction".

Believe

Not a day goes by
Not a minute ticks to fly
Not a wink of an eye
Without my sigh
Of love,
Of joy,
Of hope.

A sigh of love
For the thought
Each day I am showered with
For the laughter
Planted in me each day
For the tears shed
Stifled just so I can smile

A sigh of joy
For knowing how it is to love
Without fret
For knowing how to fly
Soaring into the limitless sky
For knowing you
So beautiful and true

A sigh of hope
For the bright future
To share with you
For the emotions
We will bare
For you and me
We share


I'm sorry I'm insensitive. I will try to work on it. I love you so much! What we have is too important for me and tonight I fear I might have hurt you. You never say anything but I hear it in your voice. I am soh sorry. Sometimes I don't know when to shut up and listen. I am never there when it matters.

Aaaagggghhhh!!!

I am tired beyond description. I was never a frail person but somehow even the most resilient will yield at a certain point. I have not. And I wish not to. I am at the final stretch already but there are times when I just feel like throwing the baton. I feel like just resting a while. I know stopping will give me horrible cramps and I know I will be unable to face myself in the mirror without seeing shame but sometimes it seems a much more attractive choice. I can no longer ignore this but I know soon it will be over. I just hope I will be standing still after all this.

No Cinderella

One of my closest friends from high school had her son baptized yesterday at St. Andrew the Apostolate Church, Makati. I went with *** and my friend who introduced me to him (Thanks friend! *big hug*). My friend and I were both godmothers to our friend's son. I introduced *** as my boyfriend to most people there and I was really happy that he shared his time with us. I like it that he's always there for me.

It's funny how things turn out sometimes. A few months ago, I was at a friend's wedding, loveless. I was riding with my friend and her mom when they suddenly brought *** up. They wanted to introduce me to him. I am glad that my friend and her mom were used as God's instruments so that my love story, the one that the Lord wrote for me so carefully may unfold. I am thankful I did not bring a car that day. I am thankful that I rode with them. Most thankful am I that I was very open to meeting someone new.

I did not get to meet him after that though. I just told my friend she could give my number to him if she wanted to. He never texted though (He says he did, well maybe he did but I overlooked it). He was leaving for the States in a few days. Never to come back, my friend said. Oh well.

Two months later, at Starbucks ATC, I finally got my first live conversation with the man of my dreams. I did not know then yet that he is the man of my dreams but he was interesting and funny. We already got to talk using YM before and I was not at all surprised that he was funny and interesting in person. And the rest was love story...

After the Christening, we heard mass with my friend, drank some refreshments at The Java Man Powerbooks, Greenbelt, and then went to G4. We walked my friend to Glorietta 2 because she had to go to SM.

The highlight of my day yesterday:

I was walking on the 3rd floor of G4 on our way to Rustan's when one of my stilleto's heels got caught in between the metal connectors on the floor. I lost my heel hehe... the litlle square black thing. He saw it and so we came back for it and then he put it back into the shoe. That was soh sweeet. He was not at all embarassed to do that for me. That made my heart melt. When I am with him, I always find my heart skipping a beat but it's moments like this that shakes me into the reality that yes, this man IS the man of my dreams. I'm no Cinderella but I know that this prince will pick up my heel everytime it gets caught in between metal connectors.

Happy 2nd!!!

 

Puzzle Of My Love

Everyone dreams of a beautiful love story

I used to wonder if that was to become a

reality for me. I doubted. I fear at

times. I was beginning to lose hope that

it would happen anymore



But still I waited...



Why?



I knew love is like a puzzle. It seems

to be vaque and unimaginable at first

but when you patiently try to connect

the different pieces, you'll see the

clearer and beautiful picture that's in

store for you.



True enough, I saw the pieces of my

love leading to you. I'm so glad our

paths have crossed, that we met, developed

a great connection, and eventually sharing

a love that's true and pure. You are

everything I've ever wanted. I thank God

for giving you into my life.



I know that a puzzle would not be complete

if one or more pieces is missing. Have no

worries that ours is incomplete, that one piece

is missing 'Coz I've taken that single and

most important piece of you... your Heart...

to take care of, safeguard it and shower

it with love and affection.



I love you soh much 'bi!!!



Hoping to make our love story work, be complete, happy and last a lifetime.



Uhmm... *hugs* mwuaah... *kisses*



He composed this and wrote it at the back of a pink frame that he wrapped with a pink gift wrapper. (Pink is my favorite color. I used to deny it but I have come to terms with it.) I cried as I read it. These were the words I have longed to hear from him way before he asked me to be his girl. I did not realize that the gift was a framed puzzle... call me really slow but the poem must have really struck me too darn hard! I flipped the frame so I can see the picture and saw a little girl on a bike and a little boy on a bike kissing. It was the cutest picture! Then I saw that a piece that belonged to the chest of the little girl was missing, in place of the piece was a mesage that says: "I'll keep this piece of you safe and loved always". I cried again. I just had to. How can I not? I am soh blessed with such a thoughtful boyfriend.

He called me while I was still in bed. I thought he was on his way to work but I was wrong. He was on his way to my unit. I figured as much when he rang my bell twice and I peeked in the peep hole and saw his ring flashing at me. I opened the door and once more there were two dozens of fragrant orange roses on the floor. I did not notice right away the gift he had in his hand. He stayed for a while and then left again. I wanted to open the gift right in front of him but he did not want to.

I did not even have anything for him at that time because I did not get the chance to get something for him yet. I was planning to do that that afternoon. I have been so busy too... I love him, I hope he knows that even if he is more thoughtful and more creative than I am. hehe...

I can't believe he slept at 3am because of his preparations for today. He only got 2hours of sleep. This man is unbelievable. I love him for it. I do. I have been truly blessed.

To think last night, I was feeling crappy because I could not reach his phone. I thought he was lying to me when he told me his battery died. I was really wondering already as to whether our relationship has gone haywire. I was silly to think so.

In spite his lack of sleep he came by tonight to have dinner with me. To make up for this morning, I took care of our dinner and got him a gift. It's not as thoughtful as his but I thought it suits him. It's a pillow that says "World's Greatest Boyfriend". That pillow has his name written on it.

I love you so much baby!