I am a drift wood aimlessly floating in the open sea.
Every morning I wake up and I go about my routine like the gears of a clock systematically move every second of the minute of the hour of the day. Where have all the drive and passion for what I do gone? Has the fire been extinguished by the cold gush of the rigors of the previous months?
I feel cold, eyes unable to focus in front of the minds I need to feed. Can they tell? Can the see my hollow self as I bare the syllabus in front of them. I want to give more and yet to no avail. My spirit is unwilling.
Lord light up my desire again to serve in Your name, to glorify You.
You have planted me here and I wish to bloom and grow for You. Shower me with guidance for I am beginning to wilt...
Amazing... that's what You are. A few minutes after I wrote you have answered my call. Thank You for taking the time to direct me to a course again. Thank you for reminding me why I do what I do. Leave me never my Lord for I am lost without You.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Let's Get Physical (Physical)
I had fun yesterday jogging at the sports complex with tananantanan... my baby!:) Yes, after more than a month we got to jog again!
Whew!
Tiring but nonetheless refreshing afterwards. Hope we can consistently do this! We were so tired and hungry that we found ourselves at Wai Ying later that evening munching on some dumplings and other oh so heavenly yet sinful food hehe... maybe not that sinful since some of our orders were steamed and not fried.
After jogging he dropped to do some push-ups... wow can he do push-ups!I was daring him to do crunches. I positioned myself and he refused to do it with me since he just finished a round of push-ups. I started mine while he was trying to check if there were contractions in my abdomen and well... there was minimal contraction and that was when he showed me how to do it really. Darn! The correct way was indeed much more difficult. Whew! my abs feel tighter today. I should keep on doing that.
Yesterday he posted a friendster testimonial for me. Call me cheesy, but I cried reading it. I was surprised and I was touched by the words that he said.
I really feel blessed. I do. I pray that the Lord continues to shower us with love, joy, trust and understanding.
Whew!
Tiring but nonetheless refreshing afterwards. Hope we can consistently do this! We were so tired and hungry that we found ourselves at Wai Ying later that evening munching on some dumplings and other oh so heavenly yet sinful food hehe... maybe not that sinful since some of our orders were steamed and not fried.
After jogging he dropped to do some push-ups... wow can he do push-ups!I was daring him to do crunches. I positioned myself and he refused to do it with me since he just finished a round of push-ups. I started mine while he was trying to check if there were contractions in my abdomen and well... there was minimal contraction and that was when he showed me how to do it really. Darn! The correct way was indeed much more difficult. Whew! my abs feel tighter today. I should keep on doing that.
Yesterday he posted a friendster testimonial for me. Call me cheesy, but I cried reading it. I was surprised and I was touched by the words that he said.
I really feel blessed. I do. I pray that the Lord continues to shower us with love, joy, trust and understanding.
Monday, September 26, 2005
I Need A Hero!!!
After the 4:30pm mass a co-faculty of mine and I went to the Center for Arts Foundation, Inc. They were opening the new venue near GMA (near is a relative word... I should remember that). We got off the GMA station and went down the wrong side so on we went to climbed three gargantuan flights of stairs. Afterw which, we walked a gigantic block and then we saw the sign.
The concert was okay but it was hard to have fun when I was also thinking how I was going to get home. I thought my cofaculty was going to take me home. It was only that night that he made clear to me that he was not taking me home. I could take the jeep from EDSA but... well it scared me of course especially since it was already late. I felt bad but I also understood that my cofaculty lives in Laguna. Still a part of me was gritting... I did not want to call *** for favors like this. I did not want to disturb his relaxation at home. I also do not want to be overly dependent and needy and I know he needs his rest but I was left with no choice. I texted him if maybe he could pick me up...
Where have all good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
He texted me an instant yes. My heart jumped because though I would have understood if he texted me a no, I'd be hurt. I was holding my breath until he texted me that he can pick me up. He was going to pick me up! I told him I'll take the MRT with my cofaculty to Ayala and then I can just wait somewhere near Oakwood. A few minutes later I called him up, he was already in Ayala. He said he would wait for me at the escalator going to SM. Wow! I cannot believe this guy... To think he was watching a TV show when I texted him. He did not even wait til the show was over. He is my hero, my prince, my true love. I only had to text him once... I did not even have to call to ask him to pick me up.
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Up Where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there’s someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood
I really thank the Lord each day that He gives me with him. I am and will always be grateful that our paths met.
Thank you for being the hero I have always hoped for. I have always known there's one out there especially made for me.
I love you so much baby. I mean it every time.
Holding On To A Hero - Footloose
The concert was okay but it was hard to have fun when I was also thinking how I was going to get home. I thought my cofaculty was going to take me home. It was only that night that he made clear to me that he was not taking me home. I could take the jeep from EDSA but... well it scared me of course especially since it was already late. I felt bad but I also understood that my cofaculty lives in Laguna. Still a part of me was gritting... I did not want to call *** for favors like this. I did not want to disturb his relaxation at home. I also do not want to be overly dependent and needy and I know he needs his rest but I was left with no choice. I texted him if maybe he could pick me up...
Where have all good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
He texted me an instant yes. My heart jumped because though I would have understood if he texted me a no, I'd be hurt. I was holding my breath until he texted me that he can pick me up. He was going to pick me up! I told him I'll take the MRT with my cofaculty to Ayala and then I can just wait somewhere near Oakwood. A few minutes later I called him up, he was already in Ayala. He said he would wait for me at the escalator going to SM. Wow! I cannot believe this guy... To think he was watching a TV show when I texted him. He did not even wait til the show was over. He is my hero, my prince, my true love. I only had to text him once... I did not even have to call to ask him to pick me up.
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Up Where the mountains meet the heavens above
Out where the lightning splits the sea
I would swear that there’s someone somewhere
Watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
And the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach
Like a fire in my blood
I really thank the Lord each day that He gives me with him. I am and will always be grateful that our paths met.
Thank you for being the hero I have always hoped for. I have always known there's one out there especially made for me.
I love you so much baby. I mean it every time.
Holding On To A Hero - Footloose
Footloose
Last Saturday was such a blast!!!
In the morning I woke up invigorated, I thought I might jog with my baby that morning but I saw how topsy turvy the unit was and I did not want my mom to hit the roof again because everything's a mess so I decided to clean up rather than call *** right away. We both slept late because I attended the prayer meeting while he went to Gilligan's Festival Mall with his officemates to eat and have a few drinks. He got home really late because he had to drive his friends home.
It was already eleven by the time I finished cleaning up and it was only at that time that I called ***. We were supposed to jog that morning but when I called him up I got "Uhhhh... Hello? Hmmm..."*cracking voice* I knew then no jogging was going to take place. I didn't mind though, I got to clean the unit already and that's as good as any exercise for me! Whew!!!
He picked me up past twelve... I wore the new dress my mom bought me. I particularly like it coz it's sporty so I wore it with a pair of rubber shoes. :)I love rubber shoes... I'll wear them all the time if I could get away with it except when I have to swim of course.
We got to videoke from 1:30pm to 5:30 pm with some of my co-faculty members. It was fun. I hope *** had as much fun. I enjoyed just sitting side by side with him. These days, I miss him more than usual. It's like I want to be beside him all the time but I know that should not be the case.
After the videoke, we went to the Meralco Theater to get our tickets. We had to get there an hour before the show to get the tickets because I just reserved through the phone. *** got us there in 30 minutes. He's a very skilled driver, unlike me. :) Let me rephrase that we have different skill sets... where his skill set includes getting us to where we need to go without getting lost, mine includes evading cops after counterflowing and beating the red light. Which one of us is a better driver? I'll leave that up to you!
We picked up the tickets, I went to the restroom and lo and behold, JR and Iya were standing there signing some autographs. I immediately went through my bag for a pen and I had them sign my tickets. They were nice enough... I even had my picture taken with JR. Iya was really nice calling JR to sign the tickets for me. My boyfriend was soh supportive the whole time hehe... That's what I like about him, I can be myself around him. I don't have to pretend at all.
We went out to Pho Hoa to have some dinner and then we went back to the Meralco Theater. *** was nice enough to get the car for us coz we were all running late. We made it in time though with lots of time to spare. We were supposed to sit with Aga according to the ticket guy. I was able to get the Center tickets because there were people who backed out... I was given the tickets beside Aga supposedly... I found out later on that Aga was not Aga Muhlach but some old guy hehe... Nah... There were two vacant seats so perhaps they were supposed to sit there. We had the best seats in the house!
The musical was great! I had fun watching it. It amazed me how much hardwork they really put into it. I can imagine how difficult it was to master the steps, the delivery, the coordination of everything. The creativity of stage acting and production has never ceased to amaze me!
I was also very glad that *** and I were able to share this together. For a while I thought musicals do not interest him but as it turns out, he enjoyed it as well as I did. It feels good to be able to share with him something I enjoy. I really should learn how to bowl...
On the downside... I got to see my second ex there with his ex who happens to be a former classmate of *** whom I think liked *** back in high school. You might need a diagram for that. It was awkward but I think everyone handled that well enough.
My Saturday was amazing. Everything kept falling into place. We would look for a good parking and a nice spot will suddenly become available. We wanted the best seats in the house and suddenly we can have them. We could have gotten there late but we arrived minutes before. It was the death anniversary of my beloved lola last Saturday. I have a feeling that it was her who was also looking after us. She was always the generous and loving lola. I love you lola. I know you are in the loving arms of the Father Almighty.
Thank you baby for the wonderful time! My words are not enough to paint my happiness last Saturday. You are everything I have every dreamed of in a person. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I look forward to more moments with you! I love you very, very much!
In the morning I woke up invigorated, I thought I might jog with my baby that morning but I saw how topsy turvy the unit was and I did not want my mom to hit the roof again because everything's a mess so I decided to clean up rather than call *** right away. We both slept late because I attended the prayer meeting while he went to Gilligan's Festival Mall with his officemates to eat and have a few drinks. He got home really late because he had to drive his friends home.
It was already eleven by the time I finished cleaning up and it was only at that time that I called ***. We were supposed to jog that morning but when I called him up I got "Uhhhh... Hello? Hmmm..."*cracking voice* I knew then no jogging was going to take place. I didn't mind though, I got to clean the unit already and that's as good as any exercise for me! Whew!!!
He picked me up past twelve... I wore the new dress my mom bought me. I particularly like it coz it's sporty so I wore it with a pair of rubber shoes. :)I love rubber shoes... I'll wear them all the time if I could get away with it except when I have to swim of course.
We got to videoke from 1:30pm to 5:30 pm with some of my co-faculty members. It was fun. I hope *** had as much fun. I enjoyed just sitting side by side with him. These days, I miss him more than usual. It's like I want to be beside him all the time but I know that should not be the case.
After the videoke, we went to the Meralco Theater to get our tickets. We had to get there an hour before the show to get the tickets because I just reserved through the phone. *** got us there in 30 minutes. He's a very skilled driver, unlike me. :) Let me rephrase that we have different skill sets... where his skill set includes getting us to where we need to go without getting lost, mine includes evading cops after counterflowing and beating the red light. Which one of us is a better driver? I'll leave that up to you!
We picked up the tickets, I went to the restroom and lo and behold, JR and Iya were standing there signing some autographs. I immediately went through my bag for a pen and I had them sign my tickets. They were nice enough... I even had my picture taken with JR. Iya was really nice calling JR to sign the tickets for me. My boyfriend was soh supportive the whole time hehe... That's what I like about him, I can be myself around him. I don't have to pretend at all.
We went out to Pho Hoa to have some dinner and then we went back to the Meralco Theater. *** was nice enough to get the car for us coz we were all running late. We made it in time though with lots of time to spare. We were supposed to sit with Aga according to the ticket guy. I was able to get the Center tickets because there were people who backed out... I was given the tickets beside Aga supposedly... I found out later on that Aga was not Aga Muhlach but some old guy hehe... Nah... There were two vacant seats so perhaps they were supposed to sit there. We had the best seats in the house!
The musical was great! I had fun watching it. It amazed me how much hardwork they really put into it. I can imagine how difficult it was to master the steps, the delivery, the coordination of everything. The creativity of stage acting and production has never ceased to amaze me!
I was also very glad that *** and I were able to share this together. For a while I thought musicals do not interest him but as it turns out, he enjoyed it as well as I did. It feels good to be able to share with him something I enjoy. I really should learn how to bowl...
On the downside... I got to see my second ex there with his ex who happens to be a former classmate of *** whom I think liked *** back in high school. You might need a diagram for that. It was awkward but I think everyone handled that well enough.
My Saturday was amazing. Everything kept falling into place. We would look for a good parking and a nice spot will suddenly become available. We wanted the best seats in the house and suddenly we can have them. We could have gotten there late but we arrived minutes before. It was the death anniversary of my beloved lola last Saturday. I have a feeling that it was her who was also looking after us. She was always the generous and loving lola. I love you lola. I know you are in the loving arms of the Father Almighty.
Thank you baby for the wonderful time! My words are not enough to paint my happiness last Saturday. You are everything I have every dreamed of in a person. Thank you so much for coming into my life. I look forward to more moments with you! I love you very, very much!
Saturday, September 17, 2005
A Day of Gold
Today is the 50th birthday of my favorite aunt of ***. She's so bubbly! I like her husband too. I got to see Mama again as we all fondly call his grandmother who is already 82 but can still host a party and have everyone sing and laugh, teach line dancing to the tune of Don't Break My Heart My Achy Breaky Heart, sing and dance 'Til There Was You, read and commentate for masses, not to mention that she's always all made up and dressed up... She can put Imelda Marcos to shame! I wish I could be as kewl as her when I reach my golden years err... platinum?!
I was soh nervous and anxious on the way to the party. We had to drop by at the airport because my fave tito and his son (***'s godson) were waiting for a lechon from Cebu. For the one and a half hour that we were waiting inside the running car (My fave tito of his did not want to turn off the engine because it was hot) my tummy was doing a world-series gymnastic routine... I was fearful of meeting his mom for the first time. Yep, today was the day...
When we got to the party, almost all the guests were there already. His mom and his sisters were there already. I greeted Mama first and then I was introduced to his mom. I kissed his mom and his mom's other two cousins. His mom was warm and friendly. We occupied another table with his sister and his sister's boyfriend. I was a bit thankful for this because I was at this point still afraid of his mom.
The program began with the speeches. Followed by the dancing. His mom asked me to dance with Mama and I did not refuse hehe... Being the game person that I am I boogie-d with Mama until she told me she was exhausted already. I panicked when she told me because she has just been to the hospital the the week before due to over exhaustion and mild stroke. She asked me to dance with ***'s mom. We danced and we both seemed to have a great time.
His elder sister plays the organ at St. Joseph and that afternoon, she had to play for a wedding so we all went to go to St. Joseph. It was my first time to get so close to the bamboo organ, I even got to touch the keys... I was tempted to play Mary Had A Little Lamb hehe... I had fun. I even got to meet ***'s teachers because they were distributing report cards today too!
We left St. Joseph after the meet and greets and proceeded to ***'s house in LP because my beloved has not taken a bath yet. He failed to do so because early that morning he was already asked to pick up the lechon and that took up most of the morning... by the time we all got to the party he could not leave anymore because the people there would not let him.
It was also my first time to go to his house. They had three very aggressive dogs but they did not do anything to me so that was okay. I got to meet Manang, their househelp who was also very nice to me. Now, I don't have to fear calling *** at home because now we're friends.
Once he was all freshened up, we (***, his sister, his sister's bf and myself) went back to the party as his mom instructed us to have dinner there still. We sang on the videoke some more, line danced, danced the swing and the boogie, had dinner and then watched Big Brother.
Saturday was indeed a great day... :)
Hope to the Lord his family likes me coz I sure like them a whole lot!
After I got home, everything went downhill... My mom was pissed.
Is she jealous? I really don't know. Things have not been the same lately. She seems to be always on our (*** and me) case. I hope things will fall back into place so we can all be happy again.
Monday, September 05, 2005
And So On And So Fourth...
I had it all planned out. I had a surprise that I wanted for him. He has been surprising me for so long... This time around, I wanted to do something for him. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen turn of events, I was unable to carry out my plan. Being the person who rarely plans, I was immensely disappointed when the way I envisioned things did not materialize. I consoled myself but I guess concealing is not among my talents.
He had to pick up his parents and my surprise required us to be at a certain place by 7pm. By 7pm he had to be home to pick his parents up. He fetched me at 530pm to get some fruits so we can visit his friend who was found to have a malignant tumor in his thyroid. The flow of traffic was rather heavy so going to UST was already impossible. Instead, he drove me back to the condo. He wanted me to come along to pick his parents up but the idea of sitting in a car with his parents scared me... I mean what do we talk about? I don't want them to think also, if ever *** fails to get there before 7 that it was all because of me. I just want my slate as spotless as possible.
While we were in traffic, he gave me an orange gerbera from Designer Blooms. There was a card attached to it and I was glad because the last time I got a card from him was months ago... :) I gave him a card and a letter (being the wordy person that I am). I did not have a gift for him since the gift was supposedly the surprise... Oh well... Maybe next month.
I gave him a wallet instead which took me a while to find. :) But finally I found it and I do hope he liked it. He was looking for a wallet a few days back and I also saw that his wallet was a bit worn out already.
Our fourth month celebration lacked the luster that our previous months had but it reminded me that we don't need a flashy celebration for us to be happy.
He came back for me after he drove his parents to the terminal. After he picked me up I was okay. I was very glad that we are together and happy.
The following day, I asked him to pick me up from RP because I had to buy drinking water for the house. After he left the unit at around 1am, I heard the bell ring. I looked in the peep hole and saw nothing. I was a bit alarmed because if that were him, he could have shown his face. I was thinking it was him, that maybe he forgot something. I even called my brother and my brother was so alarmed he almost called security. A few more minutes, *** called. I asked him if he was the one who rang our bell. He said yes. I told him I did not open the door. He asked me to open the door, and there... I saw a giant bear clad in a blue striped sweater. Similar to the small bear he gave me when I finished my thesis. I was so surprised I gasped out loud and let out a shriek... the units along the all must have heard it for it echoed for a while.
I named the small bear Thesis because he gave that to me as a congratulations gift for finishing my thesis. I named the big bear, Proxy because he's his substitute for when he cannot be around for me to hug. He smells of his perfume... hmm... I am so in love with him. I love hugging Proxy!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
A Saturday of Firsts
This Saturday was a bunch of firsts... I didn't know so many firsts can be crammed up into one Saturday but hey I am not one to complain. I am glad we shared the following firsts last Saturday:
The trip was great.
It actually started out as a small talk at the Singles Apostolate Encounter Weekend. My co-apostolates were talking about 168, a mall that sells really cheap shoes. Being the thrift that I am I just had to go. By thrift, I mean buying stuff when they are cheap, regardless of whether I need them or not.
Anyway, I told *** about my plan of going to Divi to go to 168 and then he offered to go with me. He is soh sweet!!! I love that guy soh much! DV shopping is supposed to be stressful but not for me, well at least not when I am with my baby. He took care of everything carrying everything I bought... He is not the typical guy who hates shopping... well maybe if he actually does hate it, he doesn't show it. He never showed disinterest in what we were doing, in fact on several occassions (most of the time actually) he was helping me decide.
We rode the FX going to Binondo because I did not want him to drive to Divi given that I do not know where in Divi 168 really is and I know getting a vehicle in that area is like banging your head to a jagged boulder.
We had our first FX ride going to Binondo, it was a relatively smooth ride and we even saw the manager of La Casita. We asked him where 168 was but he was unable to give us instructions... I was optimistic though that we will be able to find our way. I suggested to eat lunch at Wai Ying since I promised a few months back that I will bring him there when I am done with my thesis. Lo and behold, finally I am! :)
We had a heavy, hearty, yummy lunch (Those adjectives are all the juvenile words that I can muster to describe our feast)! It rained as we ate and it was still drizzling after we got out of the restaurant. It was a good thing I brought an umbrella. The people we asked said we can walk to 168. Fortunately, a woman was able to give us a more detailed set of instructions and my boyfriend was sensible enough to pay attention and remember them. If it were not for him we could have gotten lost and found our way to Recto or some other remote, unheard of area. As we walked, he held the umbrella over our heads. He really took care of me.
When we got to 168, my eyes where sparkling with delight or at least I felt like they were because I was ecstatic (there were no mirrors around at the time)! I wanted to buy one pair of girly shoes, but I ended up buying three pairs of shoes and two girly bags! All for my budget of 1210!
We went home by riding a jeep outside 168 and then we alighted in front of Manila City Hall and took a TAS Trans bus from there. It was fun how he never really lost his cool though it was a bit humid and it was raining. It took a while too before we could get a ride but he was fine with it. He even said we could always go back again.
We put everything that I bought in the unit and then we proceeded to St. James to attend the Singles Prayer meeting. He was reluctant to attend because he knew no one but he yielded after I asked him over and over. The prayers and even the songs were ok with him save for somebody whom he thought gave him a cold shoulder... That guy has some explaining to do... But I'd like to think he just did not have a good day.
He drove me back home to Taft where we hung out for a while.
Thank you baby for that amazing Saturday!
I had so much fun!
- FX ride together
- Trip to Binondo together
- Dine at Wai Ying together
- Walk in the rain under one umbrella together
- Trip to Divisoria together
- Shopping at 168
- TAS Trans bus ride together
- Singles Apostolate Prayer Meeting together
The trip was great.
It actually started out as a small talk at the Singles Apostolate Encounter Weekend. My co-apostolates were talking about 168, a mall that sells really cheap shoes. Being the thrift that I am I just had to go. By thrift, I mean buying stuff when they are cheap, regardless of whether I need them or not.
Anyway, I told *** about my plan of going to Divi to go to 168 and then he offered to go with me. He is soh sweet!!! I love that guy soh much! DV shopping is supposed to be stressful but not for me, well at least not when I am with my baby. He took care of everything carrying everything I bought... He is not the typical guy who hates shopping... well maybe if he actually does hate it, he doesn't show it. He never showed disinterest in what we were doing, in fact on several occassions (most of the time actually) he was helping me decide.
We rode the FX going to Binondo because I did not want him to drive to Divi given that I do not know where in Divi 168 really is and I know getting a vehicle in that area is like banging your head to a jagged boulder.
We had our first FX ride going to Binondo, it was a relatively smooth ride and we even saw the manager of La Casita. We asked him where 168 was but he was unable to give us instructions... I was optimistic though that we will be able to find our way. I suggested to eat lunch at Wai Ying since I promised a few months back that I will bring him there when I am done with my thesis. Lo and behold, finally I am! :)
We had a heavy, hearty, yummy lunch (Those adjectives are all the juvenile words that I can muster to describe our feast)! It rained as we ate and it was still drizzling after we got out of the restaurant. It was a good thing I brought an umbrella. The people we asked said we can walk to 168. Fortunately, a woman was able to give us a more detailed set of instructions and my boyfriend was sensible enough to pay attention and remember them. If it were not for him we could have gotten lost and found our way to Recto or some other remote, unheard of area. As we walked, he held the umbrella over our heads. He really took care of me.
When we got to 168, my eyes where sparkling with delight or at least I felt like they were because I was ecstatic (there were no mirrors around at the time)! I wanted to buy one pair of girly shoes, but I ended up buying three pairs of shoes and two girly bags! All for my budget of 1210!
We went home by riding a jeep outside 168 and then we alighted in front of Manila City Hall and took a TAS Trans bus from there. It was fun how he never really lost his cool though it was a bit humid and it was raining. It took a while too before we could get a ride but he was fine with it. He even said we could always go back again.
We put everything that I bought in the unit and then we proceeded to St. James to attend the Singles Prayer meeting. He was reluctant to attend because he knew no one but he yielded after I asked him over and over. The prayers and even the songs were ok with him save for somebody whom he thought gave him a cold shoulder... That guy has some explaining to do... But I'd like to think he just did not have a good day.
He drove me back home to Taft where we hung out for a while.
Thank you baby for that amazing Saturday!
I had so much fun!
Friday, August 26, 2005
Reason To Teach
If you think being a teacher is the craziest and rewardless profession, read on:
To the dearest +++,
One fo the most supportive teachers I have met in college, she has been a professor who has left a great mark in me. She would not probably know about it and I would like to take this opportunity to reveal this all to you.
Of the professors, I have always hoped she would be my teacher again and again. Unfortunately, I only became her student in one course, I like the way she teaches. She does not give pressure to students and she teaches as if the subject is very easy. What is best is that we learn from her and we enjoy studying with her.
I admire her faith to the Almighty. I have always admired how she would go to mass everyday no matter how tired and how busy she is, how she would commit herself to anything for God, how she has committed to FORMDEV classes, how she shared her faith to students. I have learned a lot form her. In times, when I had a hard time hanging on to my faith afer He has taken my dad away, she was one of the people who have taught me to stay with my faith. I did not need direct words from her but her actions spoke more than her words. And her actions were enough to encourage me. She did not know this, but whenever I see her at mass, she was there walking gracefully, her face full of joy as if she had no problems at all. She walks with God's light radiating in her and I would always admire, that I would want to be an inspiration like her too as I was tearfully crying in the back. Yes, I have learned a lot from her when it comes to faith.
From the moment that I was acquainted with a professor named +++, she has been confident of my potentials. Although, I would not believe hat I could do a lot, she has been the person who always believes I can do it. She puts a lot of trust in her students. She has guided me a lot in my college life. She has guided me in ways she would not have probably remembered. Her smile, her words of wisdom, words of encouragement and words of support have always made me take and overcome challenges in my college life.
I only wish the best for her. I hope you continue to inspire and encourage students like how you have inspired me. Thank you so much. Words could not express how truly grateful I am to have known you. :) God bless you always. You will always be in my prayers.
With all love,
###
This is a letter from my student who is now working at HP. A leadership awardee and president of a professional organization. She is a masterpiece really.
This letter is enough reason for me to stay in the academe.
To the dearest +++,
One fo the most supportive teachers I have met in college, she has been a professor who has left a great mark in me. She would not probably know about it and I would like to take this opportunity to reveal this all to you.
Of the professors, I have always hoped she would be my teacher again and again. Unfortunately, I only became her student in one course, I like the way she teaches. She does not give pressure to students and she teaches as if the subject is very easy. What is best is that we learn from her and we enjoy studying with her.
I admire her faith to the Almighty. I have always admired how she would go to mass everyday no matter how tired and how busy she is, how she would commit herself to anything for God, how she has committed to FORMDEV classes, how she shared her faith to students. I have learned a lot form her. In times, when I had a hard time hanging on to my faith afer He has taken my dad away, she was one of the people who have taught me to stay with my faith. I did not need direct words from her but her actions spoke more than her words. And her actions were enough to encourage me. She did not know this, but whenever I see her at mass, she was there walking gracefully, her face full of joy as if she had no problems at all. She walks with God's light radiating in her and I would always admire, that I would want to be an inspiration like her too as I was tearfully crying in the back. Yes, I have learned a lot from her when it comes to faith.
From the moment that I was acquainted with a professor named +++, she has been confident of my potentials. Although, I would not believe hat I could do a lot, she has been the person who always believes I can do it. She puts a lot of trust in her students. She has guided me a lot in my college life. She has guided me in ways she would not have probably remembered. Her smile, her words of wisdom, words of encouragement and words of support have always made me take and overcome challenges in my college life.
I only wish the best for her. I hope you continue to inspire and encourage students like how you have inspired me. Thank you so much. Words could not express how truly grateful I am to have known you. :) God bless you always. You will always be in my prayers.
With all love,
###
This is a letter from my student who is now working at HP. A leadership awardee and president of a professional organization. She is a masterpiece really.
This letter is enough reason for me to stay in the academe.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
End of the Tunnel
Finally, it is over.
I have gotten to the finish line.
I now bask in the sunlight after reaching the end of the tunnel. The warmth is too overpowering but I find joy in it. I slowly regain energy engulfed by the love that I feel strongly now for life, and for those who stayed with me even in the dark. The darkness, as ironic as can be, brought me into the realization of the immense love that surrounds me.
I am glad I never threw the baton. I am glad I risked failing for the slightest chance, possibility to make it to the finish line.
Thank you baby for cheering me on, for keeping me going, for believing in me.
I love you so much.
Thank you to those who prayed, helped and supported me.
My emotional, physical, and mental strength alone could not have carried me to the finish line.
I have gotten to the finish line.
I now bask in the sunlight after reaching the end of the tunnel. The warmth is too overpowering but I find joy in it. I slowly regain energy engulfed by the love that I feel strongly now for life, and for those who stayed with me even in the dark. The darkness, as ironic as can be, brought me into the realization of the immense love that surrounds me.
I am glad I never threw the baton. I am glad I risked failing for the slightest chance, possibility to make it to the finish line.
Thank you baby for cheering me on, for keeping me going, for believing in me.
I love you so much.
Thank you to those who prayed, helped and supported me.
My emotional, physical, and mental strength alone could not have carried me to the finish line.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Of Strikes and Spares
Today is his bowling finals tournament and I am happy because I am going to get to watch him play. Tonight, I will rest from my thesis first because tonight is my baby's night. I will cheer for him! He is quite a bowler actually... Last week (I just had to see him play, I promised to be there) I saw him play. He would look at me and tell me, "This strike is for you" before he goes up to his lane and he will score a strike. Wow! So that's how it feels like to have someone score for you! Kewl! I can get used to this haha! He did play better when I was there, so much better that everyone in his team was teasing him about bringing me again to the next game which is tonight... He scored 170 and 173 in his last two games while in his first game he scored 143 I think... His past games have not been really as good as his last two games so I am inclined and would like to think so that I really do inspire him. I'm looking forward to tonight's game!!!
After bowling last week, we went to see a concert or what was remaining of the concert hehe... He got free tickets to the MTV Right to Royalty Concert and all we got to see were the oldies... like Kuh Ledesma, Mitch Valdez singing songs that the old ones would enjoy. It was fun nonetheless because I was with my baby. That was the first concert that we saw together. Anyway, after the concert, I was still at a partying mood. I was in a partying mood before the concert, in fact I was looking forward to dancing in the concert but the songs sang were very close to "Dito ba? O dito ba?... " I don't know what comes next... anyway needless to say I wanted to go and party still... so we went to Malate. I drove because I had to drive to Rockwell because I was going to go there late. My classes end at 440 and he had to be htere at 5pm. I drove us to Malate and partied until 3am. After which I drove him back to his company so he can get his car. I thought he was going to go home already so I waved goodbye after I got into SLEX. To my surprise he followed me all the way to the condo! He got home at around 430 am already. I thought that was just too sweet!
Today, we also celebrate our 3rd month of loving each other... Hmm... Wonder where we're going to hang out tonight after the tournament. It doesn't matter where... so long as I am with him.
Happy 3rd Month
I have written a blog for this day but since I cannot wait to post about this event, let me just write another. It has been, after all, a very long time since I last posted anything so allow me to demonstrate how blog-starved I am.
I was at the faculty room, getting really annoyed already with the printer and the FinePrint software that I was using for the booklet that I was to give him for a 3rd month gift. I compiled sons in the CD, those that expressed my feelings for him. However, my computer and its memory were not cooperating. I think I had to print four times and restart more than that number. I finished past 12 already and the guard was ready to evict me.
Thirty minutes after I got home, I heard some knocks on the door, and lo and behold my handsome prince was standing outside holding the most colorful flowers I have ever seen. He brought me, five dozens of roses wrapped in orange abacca... It was the biggest bouquet so far... and the most colorful too. Unfortunately for me, I had colds so I could not smell the flowers. Though the very next day I brought the flowers to the faculty room, everybody told me that they were very fragrant... Anywa, going back... He brought with him also a gift. I could not put down the flowers because they were so pretty. I did not want to mess up the petals of the roses. I settled them in between the armrests of our two couches so they are standing up.
He asked me to guess what the gifts were... So there was more than one. Hmmm... He gave me two cluess: 1) It's our first 2) It's your second... I racked my brain for an answer but nothing came. As it turned out, it was an original Hitch DVD. It was our first movie that we watched together with a friend and it is now my second original DVD, the first one being My Fair Lady which my father gave me. He is soh sweet! The second gift according to him is something that I have been looking for, for so long. This I was able to guess, the instant he told me the clue. It was the Dimsum CD. I have been looking for it from different malls but to no avail. I wanted to get one because I liked TY4URLV and because the female vocalists were classmates of mine from St. Paul. I can't believe he was able to find a copy. This guy is just too sweet!
I gave him my gift, though the label was not in place yet, I was going to place our picture as the CD label but because I was running out of time already, I had to give it to him already. That day was going to be very hectic for me and I knew I will no longer be able to work on it anymore. He accepted and I hope he did like it because it did take me a while before I could put it together.
That night, he had a Finals Bowling Tournament and I was late. I had to do a project with a cofaculty... I did not do much really though because I did not find the time to do it during the week with my thesis on top of my class preparations. I only got to see his last game.
He won two medals!
After the game, we went to Greenbelt III because we wanted to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Before we got to the theater, there was a girl who cannot get her car out because some other car, doubleparked his car opposite her har. I came back to the car to get my shoes, because I forgot I was still wearin slippers... When I came back *** was already inside the car helping out the girl. He got her out of trouble alright. He looked so cute and I could not have been more proud to stand there as his girlfriend. My boyfriend has such a big heart. Hopefully, it's not too big that girls would start snatching it from me.
After the movie that we had so much fun watching, we went to his company to get his car because I drove the entire evening so we can stay in one car. We drove back to my place to have dinner and watch some TV and just hang out. We wanted every second because the next day I will be too busy again. I am always busy because of my thesis and a million other things that I need to do.
It's amazing how it has been three months and I am still soh happy with this man. He is simply the best boyfriend in the world and I love him oh so much.
Thank you baby for the three months. I pray that we will have more months together, that will become more years, that will become decades, that will form a lifetime.
I love you.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Tribute to Antoine de Sainte-Exupery's Muse
Three months have passed since you took my heart for you to love and take care of and you have done nothing short of that. These past three months, I have never felt as loved as I have ever been in my life. It's amazing because this trimester has been the most hectic trimester for me, with the new subject I am teaching right now, the Saturday classes I have been taking, the target to finish my thesis among the many other stressors and yet you were able to keep me calm. I had my moments when I just broke down and cried but you were there to comfort me, it did not matter wherever you were with whomever.
Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for never faltering. Your thoughtfulness, like bringing me ice cream when I'm so stressed, or offering to check papers touch me deeply. Thank you for driving all the way to Taft just so you can give me a hug when I really need one badly. Thanks for finding time during the day to call me and to check if I'm sleeping again instead of working... Thanks for always reminding me to eat when I am forgetting... Thanks for reminding me that I still need to exercise and take a breather from time to time. Thank you for allowing me to party right after I submitted my documents. Thank you for making the most out of the stolen moments that we had while I was still doing my thesis. Just a bit more baby and I will be able to give you more of my time...
I am truly grateful to have someone like you in my life. You have proven to me that indeed "True love consists not of gazing at each other's eyes but in looking towards the same direction".
Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for never faltering. Your thoughtfulness, like bringing me ice cream when I'm so stressed, or offering to check papers touch me deeply. Thank you for driving all the way to Taft just so you can give me a hug when I really need one badly. Thanks for finding time during the day to call me and to check if I'm sleeping again instead of working... Thanks for always reminding me to eat when I am forgetting... Thanks for reminding me that I still need to exercise and take a breather from time to time. Thank you for allowing me to party right after I submitted my documents. Thank you for making the most out of the stolen moments that we had while I was still doing my thesis. Just a bit more baby and I will be able to give you more of my time...
I am truly grateful to have someone like you in my life. You have proven to me that indeed "True love consists not of gazing at each other's eyes but in looking towards the same direction".
Friday, July 15, 2005
Believe
Not a minute ticks to fly
Not a wink of an eye
Without my sigh
Of love,
Of joy,
Of hope.
A sigh of love
For the thought
Each day I am showered with
For the laughter
Planted in me each day
For the tears shed
Stifled just so I can smile
A sigh of joy
For knowing how it is to love
Without fret
For knowing how to fly
Soaring into the limitless sky
For knowing you
So beautiful and true
A sigh of hope
For the bright future
To share with you
For the emotions
We will bare
For you and me
We share
I'm sorry I'm insensitive. I will try to work on it. I love you so much! What we have is too important for me and tonight I fear I might have hurt you. You never say anything but I hear it in your voice. I am soh sorry. Sometimes I don't know when to shut up and listen. I am never there when it matters.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Aaaagggghhhh!!!
I am tired beyond description. I was never a frail person but somehow even the most resilient will yield at a certain point. I have not. And I wish not to. I am at the final stretch already but there are times when I just feel like throwing the baton. I feel like just resting a while. I know stopping will give me horrible cramps and I know I will be unable to face myself in the mirror without seeing shame but sometimes it seems a much more attractive choice. I can no longer ignore this but I know soon it will be over. I just hope I will be standing still after all this.
Monday, July 11, 2005
No Cinderella
One of my closest friends from high school had her son baptized yesterday at St. Andrew the Apostolate Church, Makati. I went with *** and my friend who introduced me to him (Thanks friend! *big hug*). My friend and I were both godmothers to our friend's son. I introduced *** as my boyfriend to most people there and I was really happy that he shared his time with us. I like it that he's always there for me.
It's funny how things turn out sometimes. A few months ago, I was at a friend's wedding, loveless. I was riding with my friend and her mom when they suddenly brought *** up. They wanted to introduce me to him. I am glad that my friend and her mom were used as God's instruments so that my love story, the one that the Lord wrote for me so carefully may unfold. I am thankful I did not bring a car that day. I am thankful that I rode with them. Most thankful am I that I was very open to meeting someone new.
I did not get to meet him after that though. I just told my friend she could give my number to him if she wanted to. He never texted though (He says he did, well maybe he did but I overlooked it). He was leaving for the States in a few days. Never to come back, my friend said. Oh well.
Two months later, at Starbucks ATC, I finally got my first live conversation with the man of my dreams. I did not know then yet that he is the man of my dreams but he was interesting and funny. We already got to talk using YM before and I was not at all surprised that he was funny and interesting in person. And the rest was love story...
After the Christening, we heard mass with my friend, drank some refreshments at The Java Man Powerbooks, Greenbelt, and then went to G4. We walked my friend to Glorietta 2 because she had to go to SM.
The highlight of my day yesterday:
I was walking on the 3rd floor of G4 on our way to Rustan's when one of my stilleto's heels got caught in between the metal connectors on the floor. I lost my heel hehe... the litlle square black thing. He saw it and so we came back for it and then he put it back into the shoe. That was soh sweeet. He was not at all embarassed to do that for me. That made my heart melt. When I am with him, I always find my heart skipping a beat but it's moments like this that shakes me into the reality that yes, this man IS the man of my dreams. I'm no Cinderella but I know that this prince will pick up my heel everytime it gets caught in between metal connectors.
It's funny how things turn out sometimes. A few months ago, I was at a friend's wedding, loveless. I was riding with my friend and her mom when they suddenly brought *** up. They wanted to introduce me to him. I am glad that my friend and her mom were used as God's instruments so that my love story, the one that the Lord wrote for me so carefully may unfold. I am thankful I did not bring a car that day. I am thankful that I rode with them. Most thankful am I that I was very open to meeting someone new.
I did not get to meet him after that though. I just told my friend she could give my number to him if she wanted to. He never texted though (He says he did, well maybe he did but I overlooked it). He was leaving for the States in a few days. Never to come back, my friend said. Oh well.
Two months later, at Starbucks ATC, I finally got my first live conversation with the man of my dreams. I did not know then yet that he is the man of my dreams but he was interesting and funny. We already got to talk using YM before and I was not at all surprised that he was funny and interesting in person. And the rest was love story...
After the Christening, we heard mass with my friend, drank some refreshments at The Java Man Powerbooks, Greenbelt, and then went to G4. We walked my friend to Glorietta 2 because she had to go to SM.
The highlight of my day yesterday:
I was walking on the 3rd floor of G4 on our way to Rustan's when one of my stilleto's heels got caught in between the metal connectors on the floor. I lost my heel hehe... the litlle square black thing. He saw it and so we came back for it and then he put it back into the shoe. That was soh sweeet. He was not at all embarassed to do that for me. That made my heart melt. When I am with him, I always find my heart skipping a beat but it's moments like this that shakes me into the reality that yes, this man IS the man of my dreams. I'm no Cinderella but I know that this prince will pick up my heel everytime it gets caught in between metal connectors.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Happy 2nd!!!
Puzzle Of My Love
Everyone dreams of a beautiful love story
I used to wonder if that was to become a
reality for me. I doubted. I fear at
times. I was beginning to lose hope that
it would happen anymore
But still I waited...
Why?
I knew love is like a puzzle. It seems
to be vaque and unimaginable at first
but when you patiently try to connect
the different pieces, you'll see the
clearer and beautiful picture that's in
store for you.
True enough, I saw the pieces of my
love leading to you. I'm so glad our
paths have crossed, that we met, developed
a great connection, and eventually sharing
a love that's true and pure. You are
everything I've ever wanted. I thank God
for giving you into my life.
I know that a puzzle would not be complete
if one or more pieces is missing. Have no
worries that ours is incomplete, that one piece
is missing 'Coz I've taken that single and
most important piece of you... your Heart...
to take care of, safeguard it and shower
it with love and affection.
I love you soh much 'bi!!!
Hoping to make our love story work, be complete, happy and last a lifetime.
Uhmm... *hugs* mwuaah... *kisses*
He composed this and wrote it at the back of a pink frame that he wrapped with a pink gift wrapper. (Pink is my favorite color. I used to deny it but I have come to terms with it.) I cried as I read it. These were the words I have longed to hear from him way before he asked me to be his girl. I did not realize that the gift was a framed puzzle... call me really slow but the poem must have really struck me too darn hard! I flipped the frame so I can see the picture and saw a little girl on a bike and a little boy on a bike kissing. It was the cutest picture! Then I saw that a piece that belonged to the chest of the little girl was missing, in place of the piece was a mesage that says: "I'll keep this piece of you safe and loved always". I cried again. I just had to. How can I not? I am soh blessed with such a thoughtful boyfriend.
He called me while I was still in bed. I thought he was on his way to work but I was wrong. He was on his way to my unit. I figured as much when he rang my bell twice and I peeked in the peep hole and saw his ring flashing at me. I opened the door and once more there were two dozens of fragrant orange roses on the floor. I did not notice right away the gift he had in his hand. He stayed for a while and then left again. I wanted to open the gift right in front of him but he did not want to.
I did not even have anything for him at that time because I did not get the chance to get something for him yet. I was planning to do that that afternoon. I have been so busy too... I love him, I hope he knows that even if he is more thoughtful and more creative than I am. hehe...
I can't believe he slept at 3am because of his preparations for today. He only got 2hours of sleep. This man is unbelievable. I love him for it. I do. I have been truly blessed.
To think last night, I was feeling crappy because I could not reach his phone. I thought he was lying to me when he told me his battery died. I was really wondering already as to whether our relationship has gone haywire. I was silly to think so.
In spite his lack of sleep he came by tonight to have dinner with me. To make up for this morning, I took care of our dinner and got him a gift. It's not as thoughtful as his but I thought it suits him. It's a pillow that says "World's Greatest Boyfriend". That pillow has his name written on it.
I love you so much baby!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Speedy Blog
I have worked for hours on my thesis!!!
Yahoo!!!
Now that is quite a feat and it feels good too. It was quite an adrenaline rush. I think it has died down because my brain is slowing down. Perhaps the fact that it is five minutes to twelve midnight has something to do with it. I'm leaving at 12 so that means I have five minutes to get everything out of me.
I now dub thee, Speedy Blogging.
Hmm... So many things has happened.
Last Week:
Monday: I spent six hours in the library reading about Gateway Protocols. I had fun. I should go to the library more often. If only I could just work there I think I'd be able to work on my thesis faster because it's so peaceful there.
Tuesday: I have been busy with my thesis Well last week Tuesday, *** came to see me at around 11pm because he knew I really had to work on my thesis. He even brought me dinner. He really just wanted to see me. Isn't he the sweetest?
Wednesday: I really have no memory whatsoever of what happened last Wednesday... Oh wait. Hold up! I worked on my thesis again the whole time, in fact I almost was not able to say my novena so I said my novena in my desk. I had a deadline supposedly which was why I had to work overtime last Tuesday.
Thursday: I had to host for a Recognition Night. Spent hours on the phone with him. It was a greate conversation but I felt guilty afterwards because I was supposed to work that time hehe :) But it was well worth it!
Friday: It was Manila Day and we were not supposed to have work but I came to school nonetheless because I had to do my thesis. I got stuck ni heavy rain that day and it was beginning to flood. Good thing the rain stopped and so he was still able to come and visit. We saw the Spurs vs. Piston replay. This time around I ordered him dinner because he was coming from a shootout game where he qualified for the finals!
Saturday: Swam and then I worked on my thesis a miniscule bit because I was really not in the mood and I was too nervous to really think because I was going to meet the rest of his clan that day. It was hsi cousin's victory party for passing the CPA board exam. I was going to meet his lola and I just found out that day that I was to ride with his aunt and her family with his lola too. That did not push through but I sill rode with his dad and his two sisters. They're all nice. Yup even his younger sisteris nice, she just seems intimidating at first but she's nice. His whole family is nice. His lola is way kewl! She can still dance and sing Til There Was You! She's soh hip! I like her aunt too and she is easily becoming my fave in his family. Apart from his female cousin who is soh kalog and of course the male cousin who passed the board exam. He even called me that morning to invite me to go to the party. He said he texted me but I did not reply. Yup! They are all nice! We sang on the MagicSing and then we had dinner. He was driving and I sat at the back with his sisters, all the while he was glancing at me at the rear view mirror from time to time and when he saw a chance he'd text me too. I am soh lucky to have him!
Sunday: I had to be a driver to my beloved sister. I had to drive her to ATC with my limping foot. It still hurts a bit but I drove okay... Well... okay is a relative term. *** met us at southmall, yes my sister asked me to drive to Southmall to look for her Anime stuff. He was pretending to look around Comic Alley too when I noticed him standing there. He is soh cute!!! My sister had fun around him. He cracks the funniest jokes and he is just soh fun to be with. I like it that he is sensitive to my sister.
I know I saw him Saturday and Sunday and that I really should not miss him but how could I not, when the whole time we were together, we were so near yet so far? hehe :)
It's already 12:15! Oh well soh much for speedy blogging!
Yahoo!!!
Now that is quite a feat and it feels good too. It was quite an adrenaline rush. I think it has died down because my brain is slowing down. Perhaps the fact that it is five minutes to twelve midnight has something to do with it. I'm leaving at 12 so that means I have five minutes to get everything out of me.
I now dub thee, Speedy Blogging.
Hmm... So many things has happened.
Last Week:
Monday: I spent six hours in the library reading about Gateway Protocols. I had fun. I should go to the library more often. If only I could just work there I think I'd be able to work on my thesis faster because it's so peaceful there.
Tuesday: I have been busy with my thesis Well last week Tuesday, *** came to see me at around 11pm because he knew I really had to work on my thesis. He even brought me dinner. He really just wanted to see me. Isn't he the sweetest?
Wednesday: I really have no memory whatsoever of what happened last Wednesday... Oh wait. Hold up! I worked on my thesis again the whole time, in fact I almost was not able to say my novena so I said my novena in my desk. I had a deadline supposedly which was why I had to work overtime last Tuesday.
Thursday: I had to host for a Recognition Night. Spent hours on the phone with him. It was a greate conversation but I felt guilty afterwards because I was supposed to work that time hehe :) But it was well worth it!
Friday: It was Manila Day and we were not supposed to have work but I came to school nonetheless because I had to do my thesis. I got stuck ni heavy rain that day and it was beginning to flood. Good thing the rain stopped and so he was still able to come and visit. We saw the Spurs vs. Piston replay. This time around I ordered him dinner because he was coming from a shootout game where he qualified for the finals!
Saturday: Swam and then I worked on my thesis a miniscule bit because I was really not in the mood and I was too nervous to really think because I was going to meet the rest of his clan that day. It was hsi cousin's victory party for passing the CPA board exam. I was going to meet his lola and I just found out that day that I was to ride with his aunt and her family with his lola too. That did not push through but I sill rode with his dad and his two sisters. They're all nice. Yup even his younger sisteris nice, she just seems intimidating at first but she's nice. His whole family is nice. His lola is way kewl! She can still dance and sing Til There Was You! She's soh hip! I like her aunt too and she is easily becoming my fave in his family. Apart from his female cousin who is soh kalog and of course the male cousin who passed the board exam. He even called me that morning to invite me to go to the party. He said he texted me but I did not reply. Yup! They are all nice! We sang on the MagicSing and then we had dinner. He was driving and I sat at the back with his sisters, all the while he was glancing at me at the rear view mirror from time to time and when he saw a chance he'd text me too. I am soh lucky to have him!
Sunday: I had to be a driver to my beloved sister. I had to drive her to ATC with my limping foot. It still hurts a bit but I drove okay... Well... okay is a relative term. *** met us at southmall, yes my sister asked me to drive to Southmall to look for her Anime stuff. He was pretending to look around Comic Alley too when I noticed him standing there. He is soh cute!!! My sister had fun around him. He cracks the funniest jokes and he is just soh fun to be with. I like it that he is sensitive to my sister.
I know I saw him Saturday and Sunday and that I really should not miss him but how could I not, when the whole time we were together, we were so near yet so far? hehe :)
It's already 12:15! Oh well soh much for speedy blogging!
Monday, June 20, 2005
Of Sprains and Fear
I saw Batman Begins last Saturday. The whole movie tackled the most overrated topic, fear.
"What do you fear?"
I fear a lot.
I fear my thesis. Perhaps that's why I keep on running away from it. I keep on pushing it away. It has been haunting me for years already. So why am I not doing anything about it? I realize now that this is my little way of dealing with unpleasant things. I run away from them. I do not deal with them. Have I written about this before. I feel like I have. Or was it just in my head? I keep on running away but lately I feel that it's closing in on me... about to swallow me whole. So today, I will not run. I will seize the fear. Face it head to head. So what in the world am I doing here? I better get back to work.
---
I promise after this I will get to work... After I hear the mass... I have acetate duties today at the chapel.
I sprained my ankle so he visited me Friday night. He noticed the humongous mountain of trash already piling up so he asked me where the garbage chute was. After he found out where the chute was, he was off to throw the trash. Hmm... extended demo period? hehe... Every part of me is really hoping that this is the release version.
He looked at my foot and massaged it. He was touching it and it just felt nice to have his warm hands touch my calloused (eww... ) foot. He leaned over my foot and kissed it. I was soh embarrassed! There were butterflies in every corner of my stomach. This man just kissed my foot. I don't know any other guy who has done that... Not counting people who kissed my foot when I was still a baby.
We saw Batman Begins last Saturday. We spent a few minutes finding the nearest parking slot because he did not want me to walk too far because I was still limping. He is an amazingly sweet and thoughtful person. Before we saw the movie he asked if we could drop by a drugstore. I did not understand why he wanted to go there but I obliged. When we got there I found out he was going to get some liniment for my foot. When we got home he massaged some of the ointment on my foot. My foot is feeling better now. Thank you very much baby! :) Everything you do for me does not go by unnoticed. Not a day passes without me thanking the Lord for sending you to me. I love you soh much!
To my baby, thanks for making me smile, for calming me in times when I feel like freaking out. You don't always know when but without you doing anything, just your mere presence in my life is enough to make it more worthwhile and more bearable.
"What do you fear?"
I fear a lot.
I fear my thesis. Perhaps that's why I keep on running away from it. I keep on pushing it away. It has been haunting me for years already. So why am I not doing anything about it? I realize now that this is my little way of dealing with unpleasant things. I run away from them. I do not deal with them. Have I written about this before. I feel like I have. Or was it just in my head? I keep on running away but lately I feel that it's closing in on me... about to swallow me whole. So today, I will not run. I will seize the fear. Face it head to head. So what in the world am I doing here? I better get back to work.
---
I promise after this I will get to work... After I hear the mass... I have acetate duties today at the chapel.
I sprained my ankle so he visited me Friday night. He noticed the humongous mountain of trash already piling up so he asked me where the garbage chute was. After he found out where the chute was, he was off to throw the trash. Hmm... extended demo period? hehe... Every part of me is really hoping that this is the release version.
He looked at my foot and massaged it. He was touching it and it just felt nice to have his warm hands touch my calloused (eww... ) foot. He leaned over my foot and kissed it. I was soh embarrassed! There were butterflies in every corner of my stomach. This man just kissed my foot. I don't know any other guy who has done that... Not counting people who kissed my foot when I was still a baby.
We saw Batman Begins last Saturday. We spent a few minutes finding the nearest parking slot because he did not want me to walk too far because I was still limping. He is an amazingly sweet and thoughtful person. Before we saw the movie he asked if we could drop by a drugstore. I did not understand why he wanted to go there but I obliged. When we got there I found out he was going to get some liniment for my foot. When we got home he massaged some of the ointment on my foot. My foot is feeling better now. Thank you very much baby! :) Everything you do for me does not go by unnoticed. Not a day passes without me thanking the Lord for sending you to me. I love you soh much!
To my baby, thanks for making me smile, for calming me in times when I feel like freaking out. You don't always know when but without you doing anything, just your mere presence in my life is enough to make it more worthwhile and more bearable.
Friday, June 17, 2005
My So-Called Life
1030-1600 Mall
I have put off shopping with her at least three times this month and since I was really able to see a window in my schedule for our girl bonding activity. It was soh much fun... We went on a cosmetics shopping spree! I love shopping with my mom! I love my mom! She got me to buy clothes too. I did not get her to buy clothes though, it's so hard to get her stuff... she's soh picky. I hope she had as much fun as I did.
1600-1630 Gox
I went to our unit after my mom dropped me off to put all the Soya Milk bottles in the ref, hide any sign that I went shopping and prepare my swimming gear. Why did I have to hide signs that I shopped? My brother hates it when I acquire new items because it adds to the clutter that is already most of our 39 sq.m. abode. Went to Gox to check on my thesis adviser as we were supposed to discuss my thesis that day. He was busy with other work so I decided to swim first.
1630-1730 Swimming Pool
I walked to the pool, did my usual 20 lap workout + my 1/8 lap butterfly (I will get it right someday... I believe) and then took a shower. I felt soh tired and breathless which was weird because last week, the program barely exhausted me... I think it's because the water is colder now. I was still catching my breath hours after i swam... Weird.
1730-1800 PGP Chapel
I checked on my thesis adviser again and saw that he was not ready yet so I decided to hear mass first. I was late, yet again... It takes me forever to take a shower. I spend roughly 27 minutes swimming... all the rest of the time I am in the locker room... I have tried to cut down on the shower time but I just can't. I have to check my processes again and do some streamlining.
1800-1945 Consultation Room
My adviser and I talked about the thesis. I have a really long to-do list that I will be working on after this post. It's nice to have someone to talk to about my thesis. Enthusiasm is infectious and to have someone who really wants to hear about my work is really amazing. For so long, I have been working alone. It was horrible! Most o fthe time I was just guessing if what I am doing makes sense at all to the rest of the academic community. Affirmation, corrections, clarifications are most welcome. I am grateful to my adviser for having me and for doing his job. May God bless him.
1945-2000 Unit
I was having a hard time breathing and my heart rate I think has not slowed down since I swam. No, I do not think I was palpitating due to some medical condition... I was just exhausted from my workout. My baby called because it was his youngest sister's birthday and she was treating us dinner at Zong along with their cousins, sister, aunt and uncle. *** had a basketball game at 8pm and he just called so we could discuss the gift. I did not want to go to Zong without a gift and his youngest sister explicitly asked him for a gift from me and him. I was panicking... HP was closed already. I had no gift ideas. It dawned to me... we can bring a cake. Worse comes to worst, we can just give her a birthday cake. Bizu will definitely still be open. I like cakes. Since I was little, I felt a birthday was incomplete without a cake and a candle to blow. I like closing my eyes and making a wish. I don't usually remember what I wish for so I can't tell you if birthday wishes do come true.
2000-2130 Greenbelt 3
I got to the parking lot of GB3. The electronic board outside the basement parking said Full but I did not think walking from Park Square or Greenbelt1 will help either. I took my risk. As soon as I got the parking card, a Revo left a slot and just like that, I felt shopping will go smoothly. It did. I got a Marks and Spencer Aloe Vera Body Lotion and a Marks and Spencer Shower Gel and the biggest Samba Bizu cake. It was hot walking from GB3 to GB2 and back. The walk from Bizu to the parking was enough to make me sweat it out... well not the I-just-got-back-from-the-gym look but I felt really unfresh.
2130-2215 Unit
The trip from GB to the unit was not as smooth as I had hoped because there was a big volume of cars. Anyway, I got to our parking slot and then I had to climb three flights of stairs as our elevators from the parking are still out of order.
2215-1130 Zango
Going to Zango, I had to reply to his youngest sister's text messages because he was driving. His youngest sister strikes me as someone really intimidating. Perhaps it's because I seem to think the youngest are the ones harder to please, or maybe it's just the aura she exudes. I have no idea, what I do know is that she frightens me. Anyway, it did not help that we were two hours late for the party and she was texting *** that she wants to go home already. She texted him that they were closing Zong already and that they were the only ones left there. I was soh embarassed because they might think we're late because of me. She even texted *** in one of her messages that *** should have asked me to go ahead to Zong so *** will not have to pick me up at the unit anymore. *** did suggest that earlier that evening. I passed it off as a joke. It did not cross my mind that *** will drive them home and we may not all fit in his car. I realized this only as I was parking my car back at the condo. I suggested to him that I bring my car but he dismissed it since he said we were going to fit because Mao did not come. I felt bad when I read her message because of the following reasons:
I was tired and frustrated and sad. Though I like acting on stage, I am not quite an actress off the stage. I am a very transparent person and so when I am sad, it really shows. I become very quiet (for my very noisy nature, this is very difficult to overlook). *** noticed right away from the far away look, blank stares, silence... He was trying to get me to talk about what was bothering me though I knew that he knew also why I was being that way. He was constantly reassuring me that everything was going to be fine. I knew he was trying his best to make things better for me but it just won't cut it for me at the time. A part of me was wishing to not have come at all. Had I known the evening will turn out as such, I should not have agreed to come. I wanted to evaporate right then and there... Can the aircon filter just suck me in? Anyway, we got to Zong and when I saw the youngest sister's face I just really wanted to disappear. She really looked pissed. I pasted a smile on my face though, it felt like eternity standing there, my facial muscles trembling almost to the point of cramps... I greeted his aunt and I sat adjacent to his big sister. I greeted the youngest sister happy birthday though she did not look so happy thanks to us being late. I don't think the gift made her smile though. She made a joke about Cello's and Bizu being always where I get what I give them... Maybe I really should have brought Red Ribbon instead as advised by ***. I wanted last night to be special for her. Oh well, I thought. Things can't always go as you plan them. I greeted his female cousin with whom I was fond of because she is always soh happy and she seems very easy to talk to and is always bubbly and animated. His uncle came and so I stood up and reached for his hand so I can shake it, he extended his other hand instead so I can bless. He seemed nice. He was teasing us all night about getting married and having a kid. I was just smiling. That broke the ice for me that night. After meeting his uncle, I felt better already.
It helped that *** was very patient. He did not throw a tantrum when he saw that I was not in the mood to talk. He was always reaching for my hand, holding it, reassuring me that he's there and that he will not leave me. I was on the verge of tears in the car because of frustration but while I was at Zong, I was on the verge of tears because of gratitude that I have somebody like him in my life. I saw his youngest sister smile for the first time that night (that was not camera flash-induced) when she opened the box and she saw that the cake had her name on it. Thank goodness I asked *** for the correct spelling of her name a few weeks ago!
1130-1215 Starbucks Fort
Before going home, we went to Starbucks. *** treated us to drinks. By this time, though I was still aloof, I did not think she was mad at us for being late anymore. Well... I hope... I sat at the back and we had his male cousin sit in front. They gossipped about certain people in their family. I could relate because I can remember some of the stories from ***. It was also fun hanging out with them. Just listening to his female cousing is enough to keep me entertained.
It touched me that though *** was around his cousins and his sisters he was still very, very sweet. He was always checking on me and never forgetting me. I love him so much for that. Last night started seemingly a bad experience but it turned out to be fun.
1215-0130
Sta. Mesa
Going home took a longer time than expected... My left foot became numb during the ride but I did not realize this until I stood up. My foot was unable to keep its balance in my stilettos, I think I got a sprain from this accident. I transferred to the front passenger seat after the cousins were dropped off. My foot hurt all the way. It still hurts up to now and so I am limping around feeling and looking stupid. I really hate it. I hope it gets better soon.
It was truly a hectic day for me yesterday and an even more hectic night. I was glad I got to do something for him for a change because it's him who always does something for me. He appreciated what I did and to me, though it should not be that way, that mattered more than the appreciation his sister showed.
***
Went to the emergency room today after my mom threatened me that if my ankle has fractured bones, there is a possibility that I will get operated on. I wouldn't want that since:
Anyway, it turns out I do not have fractures whatsoever so I am going to be fine, unless the pain persists after 2 to 3 days, then I will have to go back and see an ortho. I finally got to use the FortuneCare card. I thought that was really useless... Hmm... It came in handy today.
I have put off shopping with her at least three times this month and since I was really able to see a window in my schedule for our girl bonding activity. It was soh much fun... We went on a cosmetics shopping spree! I love shopping with my mom! I love my mom! She got me to buy clothes too. I did not get her to buy clothes though, it's so hard to get her stuff... she's soh picky. I hope she had as much fun as I did.
1600-1630 Gox
I went to our unit after my mom dropped me off to put all the Soya Milk bottles in the ref, hide any sign that I went shopping and prepare my swimming gear. Why did I have to hide signs that I shopped? My brother hates it when I acquire new items because it adds to the clutter that is already most of our 39 sq.m. abode. Went to Gox to check on my thesis adviser as we were supposed to discuss my thesis that day. He was busy with other work so I decided to swim first.
1630-1730 Swimming Pool
I walked to the pool, did my usual 20 lap workout + my 1/8 lap butterfly (I will get it right someday... I believe) and then took a shower. I felt soh tired and breathless which was weird because last week, the program barely exhausted me... I think it's because the water is colder now. I was still catching my breath hours after i swam... Weird.
1730-1800 PGP Chapel
I checked on my thesis adviser again and saw that he was not ready yet so I decided to hear mass first. I was late, yet again... It takes me forever to take a shower. I spend roughly 27 minutes swimming... all the rest of the time I am in the locker room... I have tried to cut down on the shower time but I just can't. I have to check my processes again and do some streamlining.
1800-1945 Consultation Room
My adviser and I talked about the thesis. I have a really long to-do list that I will be working on after this post. It's nice to have someone to talk to about my thesis. Enthusiasm is infectious and to have someone who really wants to hear about my work is really amazing. For so long, I have been working alone. It was horrible! Most o fthe time I was just guessing if what I am doing makes sense at all to the rest of the academic community. Affirmation, corrections, clarifications are most welcome. I am grateful to my adviser for having me and for doing his job. May God bless him.
1945-2000 Unit
I was having a hard time breathing and my heart rate I think has not slowed down since I swam. No, I do not think I was palpitating due to some medical condition... I was just exhausted from my workout. My baby called because it was his youngest sister's birthday and she was treating us dinner at Zong along with their cousins, sister, aunt and uncle. *** had a basketball game at 8pm and he just called so we could discuss the gift. I did not want to go to Zong without a gift and his youngest sister explicitly asked him for a gift from me and him. I was panicking... HP was closed already. I had no gift ideas. It dawned to me... we can bring a cake. Worse comes to worst, we can just give her a birthday cake. Bizu will definitely still be open. I like cakes. Since I was little, I felt a birthday was incomplete without a cake and a candle to blow. I like closing my eyes and making a wish. I don't usually remember what I wish for so I can't tell you if birthday wishes do come true.
2000-2130 Greenbelt 3
I got to the parking lot of GB3. The electronic board outside the basement parking said Full but I did not think walking from Park Square or Greenbelt1 will help either. I took my risk. As soon as I got the parking card, a Revo left a slot and just like that, I felt shopping will go smoothly. It did. I got a Marks and Spencer Aloe Vera Body Lotion and a Marks and Spencer Shower Gel and the biggest Samba Bizu cake. It was hot walking from GB3 to GB2 and back. The walk from Bizu to the parking was enough to make me sweat it out... well not the I-just-got-back-from-the-gym look but I felt really unfresh.
2130-2215 Unit
The trip from GB to the unit was not as smooth as I had hoped because there was a big volume of cars. Anyway, I got to our parking slot and then I had to climb three flights of stairs as our elevators from the parking are still out of order.
2215-1130 Zango
Going to Zango, I had to reply to his youngest sister's text messages because he was driving. His youngest sister strikes me as someone really intimidating. Perhaps it's because I seem to think the youngest are the ones harder to please, or maybe it's just the aura she exudes. I have no idea, what I do know is that she frightens me. Anyway, it did not help that we were two hours late for the party and she was texting *** that she wants to go home already. She texted him that they were closing Zong already and that they were the only ones left there. I was soh embarassed because they might think we're late because of me. She even texted *** in one of her messages that *** should have asked me to go ahead to Zong so *** will not have to pick me up at the unit anymore. *** did suggest that earlier that evening. I passed it off as a joke. It did not cross my mind that *** will drive them home and we may not all fit in his car. I realized this only as I was parking my car back at the condo. I suggested to him that I bring my car but he dismissed it since he said we were going to fit because Mao did not come. I felt bad when I read her message because of the following reasons:
- it's her birthday and we're pissing her off
- i do not want a bad impression, that I'm prima donna, making everybody wait... believe me, this is the last thing i want!
- i wanted things to be perfect for her because her boyfriend was not going to be there and I know how terribly lonely that can be
- his aunt was there
- I hate it when things do not go as planned in spite my efforts
I was tired and frustrated and sad. Though I like acting on stage, I am not quite an actress off the stage. I am a very transparent person and so when I am sad, it really shows. I become very quiet (for my very noisy nature, this is very difficult to overlook). *** noticed right away from the far away look, blank stares, silence... He was trying to get me to talk about what was bothering me though I knew that he knew also why I was being that way. He was constantly reassuring me that everything was going to be fine. I knew he was trying his best to make things better for me but it just won't cut it for me at the time. A part of me was wishing to not have come at all. Had I known the evening will turn out as such, I should not have agreed to come. I wanted to evaporate right then and there... Can the aircon filter just suck me in? Anyway, we got to Zong and when I saw the youngest sister's face I just really wanted to disappear. She really looked pissed. I pasted a smile on my face though, it felt like eternity standing there, my facial muscles trembling almost to the point of cramps... I greeted his aunt and I sat adjacent to his big sister. I greeted the youngest sister happy birthday though she did not look so happy thanks to us being late. I don't think the gift made her smile though. She made a joke about Cello's and Bizu being always where I get what I give them... Maybe I really should have brought Red Ribbon instead as advised by ***. I wanted last night to be special for her. Oh well, I thought. Things can't always go as you plan them. I greeted his female cousin with whom I was fond of because she is always soh happy and she seems very easy to talk to and is always bubbly and animated. His uncle came and so I stood up and reached for his hand so I can shake it, he extended his other hand instead so I can bless. He seemed nice. He was teasing us all night about getting married and having a kid. I was just smiling. That broke the ice for me that night. After meeting his uncle, I felt better already.
It helped that *** was very patient. He did not throw a tantrum when he saw that I was not in the mood to talk. He was always reaching for my hand, holding it, reassuring me that he's there and that he will not leave me. I was on the verge of tears in the car because of frustration but while I was at Zong, I was on the verge of tears because of gratitude that I have somebody like him in my life. I saw his youngest sister smile for the first time that night (that was not camera flash-induced) when she opened the box and she saw that the cake had her name on it. Thank goodness I asked *** for the correct spelling of her name a few weeks ago!
1130-1215 Starbucks Fort
Before going home, we went to Starbucks. *** treated us to drinks. By this time, though I was still aloof, I did not think she was mad at us for being late anymore. Well... I hope... I sat at the back and we had his male cousin sit in front. They gossipped about certain people in their family. I could relate because I can remember some of the stories from ***. It was also fun hanging out with them. Just listening to his female cousing is enough to keep me entertained.
It touched me that though *** was around his cousins and his sisters he was still very, very sweet. He was always checking on me and never forgetting me. I love him so much for that. Last night started seemingly a bad experience but it turned out to be fun.
1215-0130
Sta. Mesa
Going home took a longer time than expected... My left foot became numb during the ride but I did not realize this until I stood up. My foot was unable to keep its balance in my stilettos, I think I got a sprain from this accident. I transferred to the front passenger seat after the cousins were dropped off. My foot hurt all the way. It still hurts up to now and so I am limping around feeling and looking stupid. I really hate it. I hope it gets better soon.
It was truly a hectic day for me yesterday and an even more hectic night. I was glad I got to do something for him for a change because it's him who always does something for me. He appreciated what I did and to me, though it should not be that way, that mattered more than the appreciation his sister showed.
***
Went to the emergency room today after my mom threatened me that if my ankle has fractured bones, there is a possibility that I will get operated on. I wouldn't want that since:
- i like inline skating
- i like stilettos (though i may deny it)
- i am not a fan of stitches on my skin
Anyway, it turns out I do not have fractures whatsoever so I am going to be fine, unless the pain persists after 2 to 3 days, then I will have to go back and see an ortho. I finally got to use the FortuneCare card. I thought that was really useless... Hmm... It came in handy today.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Stupid Person + Mobile Phone
revisited
I wanted to clarify the previous post since a lot seems to wonder who might that jerk be. I have reason to believe that the stupid texter is my first ex boyfriend. Obviously since the texter seemed to be very fond of my ex and he's the only one I know who is that fond of himself. Really. To feed the curiosity of everyone, he is not at all goodlooking... Though I am tempted to post his picture here for everyone to lambast or better yet to tell you his friendster account name, for the sake of whatever kindness and respect is left for other people's privacy, i will, restrain myself from doing so.
Some people texted me, emailed me about my post feeling sorry for me. I was actually fuming with anger and the night I got all these messages, I was shaking and wanting him to just drop &#@&! I was disturbed but at the same time I could not really tell anyone. I was playing with the idea of telling my boyfriend. I did not want him to get hurt or to be affected but I did not want a big gap between us because I was not telling him something that was troubling me greatly. I am glad I told him because he was able to make me feel better as always. He just laughed about it and as soon as I heard laughter bubbling out of him I just could not help but find the humor in what happened. I am glad he's very positive. A friend of mine told me we make a pretty good combination. I seem to be always worrying while he comforts me. He's the only one who has that effect on me. He just says the right words at the right time. One of the many things that endeared me to him is his infallible self-confidence. I feel like nothing can make him insecure. This comforts me because this will assure me that jealousy fits will be kept at bay always. He said he was glad that I replied to the messages the way I did.
I wanted to at first post his phone number here so that I can request all of you to pester him for me but I won't do that because I realized I have so much to thank him for. I thank him first and foremost for letting me go. The moment he let me go, he lifted from me a curse of putting up with him and his lies, a curse of living a miserable, nightmare of a life. When he let me go, he gave me another chance at life, a new hope of finding a love that is true. I thank him for not depriving me of that opportunity. I am truly grateful that he hurt and lied to me. I thank him for being the jerk that he was and still is because he made me see the difference between a big, fat, ugly toad and a chivalrous prince. It's amazing how sometimes we confuse these two. Hold up. Let me speak for myself. It's amazing how I tend to confuse these two. So, in spite of the things he did to me and despite the things he did not do for me, I thank him. I am not angry at you. In fact, I could not care less what he does in his life so long as he does not hurt the ones i love and he does not interact with me, I am fine with that. I am grateful because if it were not for him and the series of unfortunate events he led me to, I would not have met, fell in love with, and love the man that I love so dearly right now.
So to the Stupid Texter, you may not be as stupid as I might think. Or if you really are, for once your stupidity worked to my advantage.
Some people texted me, emailed me about my post feeling sorry for me. I was actually fuming with anger and the night I got all these messages, I was shaking and wanting him to just drop &#@&! I was disturbed but at the same time I could not really tell anyone. I was playing with the idea of telling my boyfriend. I did not want him to get hurt or to be affected but I did not want a big gap between us because I was not telling him something that was troubling me greatly. I am glad I told him because he was able to make me feel better as always. He just laughed about it and as soon as I heard laughter bubbling out of him I just could not help but find the humor in what happened. I am glad he's very positive. A friend of mine told me we make a pretty good combination. I seem to be always worrying while he comforts me. He's the only one who has that effect on me. He just says the right words at the right time. One of the many things that endeared me to him is his infallible self-confidence. I feel like nothing can make him insecure. This comforts me because this will assure me that jealousy fits will be kept at bay always. He said he was glad that I replied to the messages the way I did.
I wanted to at first post his phone number here so that I can request all of you to pester him for me but I won't do that because I realized I have so much to thank him for. I thank him first and foremost for letting me go. The moment he let me go, he lifted from me a curse of putting up with him and his lies, a curse of living a miserable, nightmare of a life. When he let me go, he gave me another chance at life, a new hope of finding a love that is true. I thank him for not depriving me of that opportunity. I am truly grateful that he hurt and lied to me. I thank him for being the jerk that he was and still is because he made me see the difference between a big, fat, ugly toad and a chivalrous prince. It's amazing how sometimes we confuse these two. Hold up. Let me speak for myself. It's amazing how I tend to confuse these two. So, in spite of the things he did to me and despite the things he did not do for me, I thank him. I am not angry at you. In fact, I could not care less what he does in his life so long as he does not hurt the ones i love and he does not interact with me, I am fine with that. I am grateful because if it were not for him and the series of unfortunate events he led me to, I would not have met, fell in love with, and love the man that I love so dearly right now.
So to the Stupid Texter, you may not be as stupid as I might think. Or if you really are, for once your stupidity worked to my advantage.
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