Day 1: Update

I was able to do an update of an important document today which is really part of my to-do list today. I also came up with little steps towards an experiment for my dissertation. I was unable to completely do all that I have planned as the table I use for my laptop was occupied by New Year fruits. I have 364 days left until the end of my sabbatical. I intend to make each day count. 

I have hopes for this year and I do pray that the Lord may will them to materialize into fruition. 

Tomorrow, I need to build a temporary model so I can try and see if my "adaptive and intelligible" model will work. 

For now, will try to get some sleep. 

Thank You dear Lord for the brand new year. Thank You because each year You give us a promise of a brand new beginning. Thank You for never forsaking me. Mama Mary, thank you for always interceding for me. 

Grateful for a Great Day

Thank You Lord for the great day You have given so I can ride my bike all I want.

Thank You Lord for the great company You have sent me so that I don't have to be alone on my bike rides.

Thank You Lord for the able hands that fixed my bike.

Thank You for the gift of hugs from little angels You showered with so much charm and love.

Thank You for such a great day.

Phone Call

My heart stopped for a few seconds today. 

I got an unexpected phone call. 

I had tears of joy in my eyes Lord. 

Thank You for the answered prayer. I continue to pray because I know You will continue to see me through. 

Thank You.

Bike to the Future

So I got my new bike and got to take it out for a spin last Sunday. It took me back to my yesteryears. I love the feel of the wind against my cheeks. I hated of course that there were so many cars but it was great. Looking forward to riding again soon! Okay, my behind was  sore after riding. I do not remember getting my behind soh sore before but then my bike was so much nicer then. Then again, maybe it's also because I am so much heavier now... Then again we must take the good with the bad. 

BTW, I started doing Muay Thai this week. My knee is of a deep purple shade, my elbow is leaning towards the maroon band of the spectrum and my shin well, it has bruises scattered around the area too. I also got a bit of hand tremors straight after practice but it's beginning to go away. Notwithstanding all that has been said, it was fun! My Adidas gloves are pink too so that kind of helps hahaha!!!

Oh and the term is about to end. 

Thank goodness for that too! 

Today was as exhausting as ever! I just cannot wait for the break!

Lord, carry me to the end of the term please. 

Over

... And now I'm almost over you... 

Is my song for the trimester. I am almost over this trimester!!!

I cannot wait to just finish all the things I need to. This helluva week is almost over and maybe, just maybe next week will be easier on me. 

Thank You Lord. 

I am still enjoying my Paperwhite! 

Planning on getting a new bike as well!

Life is goooohd!

On The Brink

I am about to drop because of the many things I need to do this week. I just need to get through this week and I *breathe* will *breathe* be *breathe* fine. 

I think I may have had an anxiety attack last night. I could not breathe. Then again, maybe I just need to run. 

On the amazing side of things, I got my Paperwhite last Saturday! 

It is uh-may-zing!!! I now believe that the Kindle may be the best invention of mankind next to electricity because without that I cannot charge my Kindle hahahahahah!!!

Okay. 

Back to work!

Anticipating

Dear Paperwhite,

Can you not get here any faster? I want to hold you in my hands and look at you all day!!! 

Gah!!!

I cannot believe I have to wait until next year... 

Paperwhite

I have taken the big leap. 

I have ordered Paperwhite via Amazon finally. I have tried asking friends to buy for me but it is eternally out of stock and so hard to find. I am trying out Johnny Air for the first time. Hopefully, all will go well. I am soh stoked! :) 

It will not arrive to Manila until next year since my delivery will only get to NY by December 31, 2012. The Paperwhite is too popular so it will not be available for shipping until December. 

I hope the wait is worth it. :) 

No-stalgic

I have thought of spending the long weekend in Bangkok, after all I was there until October 31 and had the option of extending. I have the fondest memories of Bangkok and of course the coconut juice is hard to resist. I am glad I chose not to extend my stay because I am sure I got to save moolah and also, because rather than being nostalgic over events of the past, I got to make new memories. 

Thank You Lord for a beautiful long weekend. 

As always You went out of Your way to put a smile on my face and on my soul. 

Bangk-OK!

I will be going to Bangkok! 

My schedule is jam-packed so I am not sure if I can really do so much. I would be satisfied to just have coconut juice, visit H&M (cannot get enough of H&M), drink more coconut juice! *hahaha!!!*

I hope I can buy fermented mangoes and durian chips. Well not really so much durian chips... Just the mangoes will do. ;) 

Sabbatical

Many of my colleagues count down to their sabbatical leave. I on the other hand, have managed to do without it for eleven years. I have been putting it off for so long and now, for reasons I would rather not divulge because I do not want to get into a fit so late at night, I have to take it. 

I feel like I am going to retire. I am racking my brain for what I want to do in one year's time. Of course, the idea of spending many days in Bora, Palawan, Cam Sur, Coron, Batanes comes to mind. However, in my heart, my sabbatical was never about this. It was not even about going abroad to study. I want to use my sabbatical for something meaningful in my life. 

Since I have nothing to do, I might as well do my dissertation. So I am off to do something that a lot of people tell me is difficult to do. Trust me. I tried to tell my panelists. I spent three hours telling them what they ask of me is too much... To no avail. 

Hence, I am left with no choice but to trudge on and trust that the Lord will provide for me as He has always have. 

Truth be told. I am a bit excited. :) 

Best Weekend Award Goes To...

Last weekend was the best weekend ever!

Last Saturday, I was transported to the home of my favorite girls and we had all day to hang out. I got to win a basketball match which is an amazing feat for someone who does not understand the mechanics of the game. I think I am getting the hang of it *hahaha!!!*. I was able to try really great ribs and hang out for a bit more. Great conversations and laughter. 

Last Sunday was pure R&R. I love finding simple joys. It's always the company you keep that makes everything extraordinary. 

Thank You Lord. 

Keep me in Your company always. Thanks for sending angels my way. :) 

Second Chances

In 2007 I went to Budapest, Hungary and fell in love with the city. It was a nice blend of modern and classic. It was romantic like Paris minus the smell. 

While there I was able to explore the city and the hills. I wanted to go to the Libego in the mountains and I was able to go there. However, they were closing - so dramatic I know, just like in the movies. I was too late. I was crushed because the chances of me visiting Hungary again was slim to none. 

Fast forward to 2012 - because I want to ignore some of the events that happened in between then and now, I got to go to Hungary again!  This time, I went there for the opening of the Libego. It was the last tourist spot I visited before I left. Now, I can say I have closure. I would love to be back again though. I think I might have loved the city even more now that I know more people there. 

Thank You Lord for second chances.

What's Cooking

I cooked my first sour soup pork yesterday! 

I am supposed to cook Filipino food on the final night at the summer school I am going to in Hungary. I am very grateful to my Kitchen Boss who lent me a kitchen and taught me how to make the soup. I was able to download a recipe but my KB had another recipe in mind. I thought it worked since real people liked my sour soup! Oh yes!!!

I just finished reading My Life in France by Julia Child. Maybe, I can be a Julia Child. :) I hope our cooking lesson won't end even after Hungary. :) Maybe we can bake too. :) 

I also had a blast playing with my fave little friends. 

Yesterday was perfect. 

Lemme just review what I did yesterday:

Pork Sinigang Recipe or Pork Sour Soup

Ingredients:

1. Knorr Sinigang Mix with Gabi (1 packet)

2. Knorr Pork Cube (1 cube)

3. 3/4 Kilo pork belly (liempo) cut in 2 inches strips

4. String beans (because other veggies may not be available in Hungary)

5. Salt

6. Onion (one big one, must not be soft to touch) Cut in four pieces

7. Tomato (5 small pieces) Cut in eight pieces

8. Garlic (I know!!! Did not know garlic went into sinigang) Dice finely.

9. Oil (just a little bit)

10. Siling haba or Capsicum

11. Radish (Cut thinly)

Step1: Rinse the pork (I did not know this had to be done)

Step 2: Put in so much salt and rub on the pork and rinse right away

Step 3. Pour just enough water to cover all the pork

Step 4: Pour in half spoon of salt

Step 5: Boil the pork ( I did this for one hour)

The nice thing about pork is that this does not overcook and it gets cooked quickly. I had to boil it for a long time so that it will be tender. Also, I have to tell myself to watch the pot so that it does not overflow. The pot overflowed and I ended up messing up KB's brand new oven. *sheepish grin* Did not mean to do that. Was so embarrassed. 

Step 6: Get a separate pot. Saute garlic and tomato first and then the garlic. DO NOT BURN THESE. (use high heat). 

Step 7: Lower the heat, pour the pork. Boil again.

Step 8: Put in the pork cube

Step 9: Pour the Sinigang mix. TASTE.

Step 10: Put in the Siling haba 

Step 11: Remove scum. The bubbles. These are fat. Yuck.

Step 12: Put in radish

Step 13: Put in string beans 

et voila, my very first sinigang!!! :) 

Blue Danube

The Lord is my Shepherd 

I shall not want

In green pastures He leads me

Beside clear waters He gives me rest

I do good for His goodness sake

Thank You dear Lord for all the blessings. 

You provide for me even before I ask. 

I am going back to Hungary again! Yey! :) 

Hungary is one of the most romantic places I have been to. I love the Danube River, the old castles, the funicular on the hill, the Church on the hill, the little quaint cafes. I am going to pack my running shoes, I'm sure there will be a nice place where I could run and think. 

I really need this now.

Thanks! 

Thrown

I walked under a bus

Got hit by  a train

It felt so good

I want to do it again.

Stupidity at its finest. 

Chat

There is nothing like chatting with little girls online. Wish I could
hug them though. :)

Thank You for the early morning surprise.

Just Girls

Today was just wonderful!

I was able to spend hours on end with two cute, smart and talented
little girls. I could have spent more time with them but I had to go
lest I might wear out my welcome. I hope I can do that again. I really
had a wonderful time with the kiddies.

Thank You dear Lord for the gift of kids. They bring so much happiness
to me. I love how their imagination can make anything fun.

I had a wonderful day.

THE Bag

I have a serious crush on the pink D-bag of Tod's. Argh... Why do you
have to be so expensive purrrtye bag? Why?! :)

Night Cap

I was about to go to bed when I realized there is something that I
would like to remember.

The homily of Fr. Vester, the priest who officiated my friend's
wedding was really good. He started off by saying that the creatures
made by God are happiest when they do what they are supposed to do.
Birds are happiest when they fly because they were created to fly.
People were made to love, hence, they are happiest when they love. He
then quoted Corinthians, the part where it says no matter what you do,
no matter how good you were, it does not matter if you have not loved.

He said, you know if you have loved if you sacrifice for the one you
love. If you have not sacrificed for the person then you have not
loved that person. Secondly, you should will the good of the other
person. It must be the other person's welfare first before your own.
Thirdly, you should be best friends. He said, you know your marriage
is on the rocks when you are no longer friends.

His final advice is that you should not love the other person because
he or she is your spouse, rather, love the person as your best friend
because that lasts forever.

His homily made me want to cry.

He did succeed in making me want to cry before the program at the reception.

He asked me if I was married before. I told him it's complicated. I am
processing some stuff at the tribunal and I knew he understood right
away.

He said, maybe it was never God's will for you to marry. Remember, he
said, at the end of the day, the most important is you. He wants you
to be happy. If the Lord has to change His plans for you, let him.

Thank You dear Lord because through him, I felt You.

Weekend at a Glance

Friday

My little friend really came last Friday and I had a blast with her.
Parting was again bittersweet. She gives the sweetest hugs. I am
hooked for life. :)

We had yoghurt and then we went to my cubicle to have more fun and to
play with my colleagues. She is such a charmer! I hope to see her
again very, very soon!!! I am missing her terribly.

Saturday

I went up to Tagaytay and ate buffet at Bag of Beans, went to
Paradizoo (which was too expensive 299Php for entrance fee) and ate at
Nanay Dorie's in one of their bahay kubos! :)

We just slept for half a day hahaha!!! Soh lazy!!!

Paradizoo offers a camp site, this is interesting and also affordable
at 500 Php per night per person, entrance fee included.

Sunday

A friend of mine got married. It was the most sincere, sweetest, most
personal wedding I have ever witnessed. I was their emcee as well, it
was exhausting but it went well I think. I had a blast. :)

Monday

Another little friend of mine has been asking her aunt for a letter
from me. Soh cute!!! She remembers me! :) I gave her aunt a letter and
a picture of us together. :) I even drew her a butterfly and some
hearts because she likes that. I hope to see her soon as well!

I miss her too.

This afternoon, I got to hang out with a sweet little boy of five
years. :) He was looking for me earlier today and when he saw me he
said, "You're here!!!". So sweet!!! :) He stayed at my cubicle for
most of the time that he was there.

Giddy Bear

I am going to see my favorite little friend later. She's coming from
Laguna later this afternoon. *giddy* I cannot wait to give her a tour
of the campus. Might take her to a yoghurt place later. *gushes* I am
really soh excited!

On an unrelated note, I have wasted this week. I was unable to work on
my dissertation at all.

Boo.

Kid Trip

The last few days have been a blast. I was in Laguna and Tagaytay last
Saturday with friends. I was able to hang out with two very cute kids!
The highlight of my trip though was seeing my most favorite kid in the
whole world! It was just pure coincidence that her family was at Bag
of Beans as well. We were going to have hot choco when I saw her mom
(a colleague of mine). I did not say hi right away because I did not
want to disturb her date with her husband if she was there with only
her husband (another colleague and a panelist). When I panned towards
the other side of the restaurant I saw my little friend wave. At this
point, I was just bubbling with excitement so hard to contain.

The night before I was already wishing I would bump into her at Paseo
because she lives in Sta. Rosa. Lo and behold, she was right there.
She gave me a tight hug and sang for me a song. She just turned 4 last
October but she is the coolest, smartest kid I know.

Before we parted she kissed me soh many times and hugged my waist and
then my thighs. She did not want us to part....

That kid is the sweetest!!!

I am missing her already.

The following day, I got to talk to two small little girls too... very
short chat but sweet nonetheless, thanks to my friend.

*sigh*

I just love being around kids. I should really get on with my
dissertation so that I can move towards my real dream. :)

Surreal

The sampaguita ice cream was different.

The tocino, longganisa and egg were ordinary.

The place was quaint.

The company was perfect.

And that made all the difference.

Losing It

Losing things when all that I should be losing is the extra weight I
put on after not being able to exercise for weeks after my operation.

I am totally out of my element today.

This sucks.

Just when the term is coming to a close. Seriously. I have been acting
crazy since yesterday. I have to get it together!!!

*screams*

Okay, maybe that will do it!

Cerebral Hemorrhage

Was what I had yesterday. My defense lasted for four and a half hours!
It was excruciating! I had fun at first and then after three hours of
rapid fire questions, I felt myself wanting to gather my things and
say, "Thank you, but I think I have changed my mind. Thanks for your
time.".

And so it begins, this journey called the dissertation. Yes, that was
just the beginning.

Before I braved the storm, I had a little angel visitor and got to
play with her for a bit. She hugged me and gave me the sweetest smile!
I hope she visits again soon. I wish I could keep her *hehehe!*! I was
able to buy some fun time because another angel, a slightly bigger one
took care of the other logistics like carrying a giant pizza box and a
couple of hot wings boxes and three bottles of mineral water.
Seriously, I appreciated it. Beyond, beyond measure.

Also, it was nice to have people waiting after I was asked to step out
for the panel's deliberation. It felt nice to exhale.

Thank You dear Lord for a wonderful night cap last night after a
horrendous defense. :) Thank You for giving me the answers. Thank You
for helping me explain myself.

Thank You.

Please bless my work and the road that will lead me to its completion.

Whatcha-March-allit

March all in all has been so eventful.

I have been blessed to see how compassionate Jesus can be up close
some weeks ago. I am so grateful. I hope that this chapter may end
soon so that I may be able to start writing a brand new one.

I bought siomai from 7-11 and it had mold already. I am really not
good at tasting mold. It was good that I shared the food with a friend
and so I only got to eat one piece. This caused me to be sick for one
whole week!

I celebrated the day before my birthday with friends at Red Box and
then at Shakey's. It was fun!

I celebrated my birthday on the day. *big grin* I realized that while
people give gifts, the best gift is still the gift of time.

The sisters of MACE gave me gifts and even celebrated on my behalf. I
was unable to come because of a surgery I had to undergo.

I had my right breast excision which was scary. Glad to say that the
cyst was found to be benign. I am still recovering because I never
really got to rest. The day after the surgery I was already up and
about going to defenses. *ouch it's hurting as I type* This experience
however, made me see the people who really cared. Thank You for
surrounding me with people who care.

I am to emcee three times this month.

I am a bit exhausted already. If all the above mentioned is not
enough, I am also to have my dissertation proposal defense on March
30!

This month is packed!

Birthday

Best birthday ever.

Thank You Lord. :) I really felt special today. Thank You because those who matter remembered and took the time to make today a special one. Thank You for giving me gifts every single day just because.

I want to always remember the feeling. *sigh*

Sent from my iPod

Sunny Day

It was really a tad bit cloudy and it even drizzled but it was a sunny Sunday as far as I am concerned. Granted I was unable to do Yoga. Not withstanding I had to hear mass alone. Ignoring the fact that I had to cancel my cards because my wallet was missing. Last Sunday was peachy.

For many reasons.

My Declamation Piece

Happy Valentine's Day people!

This is my first attempt at writing a declamation piece. Let me know what you think. My vision here is for the declaimer to experience some sharp pains as she narrates her story. I really want to perform this but at my age I will no longer be able to pull this off. This declamation piece that I wrote is really for young people because mostly they are the ones who need a piece. I also wanted to share with them a lesson. I hope that this would at least make them aware of possible consequences of too much passion. ;) 

Also, I do not have the venue *haha!!!*. I would be so thrilled to know if anyone uses this. Please leave me a message if you do use this. :) 

Let me know if you want it improved in anyway. 

Labor Pains

Surprise Squared

Today was such a pleasant surprise.

The surprise came from an unexpected source which made it all more a surprise. Today was an amazingly happy day.

Balloons, cake, ice cream, uber cute kids, wonderful people, shopping.

Thank You Lord.

Sent from my iPod

Right In Front of Me

I was re-reading Joshua Harris' I Kissed Dating Goodbye last night.
Okay, I was not really re-reading, I was simply reading the summary.
This is enough for me because I have already read this book back in
college and then a few years after I graduated from college.

I was reminded that the book is telling me to wait and to trust in the
plans of the Lord. You'd be surprised at how much I suck at waiting.
As I was reflecting on the book, I remembered a conversation I had
with a good friend of mine. We have been friends since 1995.

We were then talking about my budding relationship with my third
boyfriend who will eventually be my husband and then not. Wow. I can
finally write that down. Maybe I will write about that some more later
on. That will do for now. I digress.

I was so giddy and could not wait to get into a relationship. My good
friend had to remind me to slow down. She said, until I do not learn
what the Lord wants me to learn, He will continue to teach me. I may
get hurt in the process and it will hurt more and more until I learn.
Of course, during that time, I just ranted about my lack of
discernment when, right then and there, through my friend, the Lord
was already talking to me. Telling me to slow down and not rush. To
think things through... *sigh*

You know what? I am done regretting. I am done wondering. I am where I
am because this is where I need to be right NOW. While I would rather
be somewhere else, who am I to claim that I know better? The Lord has
great plans for me, all I need to do is sit back and relax. That
should not be too hard. I simply need to take in the view and to
relish the moment that I am in.

All I need to become, all I need to experience, all I need and want
will be given to me because:

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.
In green pastures he leads me.
In restful waters he restores my soul.
He leads me to do good for his namesake.
Though I walk through the darkest valley,
I am unafraid because He is with me.
His rod and staff comfort me.
He prepares my table in front of my enemies
He anoints me with oil
Goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life
I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Thank you for the promise of tomorrow.

Online Business

At this day and age, anyone can put up his or her business online. I myself, am thinking of putting up an online business. However, for the online business to really take off it is important that payment will be made easy for the clients. Most of the time, the credit card companies will not immediately give small businesses a chance. It is fortunate though that there is a site for high risk businesses .

This site will find a credit card processor for your business. While there are other processors in existence, they would normally charge you exorbitant rates because your startup business is considered as high risk. This site will find a processor for you that will charge a smaller processing fee for your business. What makes this deal even sweeter is that, if you do not want to do business with the processor found for you, you do not have to. There are no strings attached, you are free to walk away.

To get started, you just need to send the details of your business so that they have a clear picture of what you want to do. After which High Risk Accounts will put you through with a processor and you will be ready to take your business to new heights. With credit cards, you will have a wider reach which translates to more money! Now, I have to really start conceptualizing that new business I have been thinking about.

Not So Bored Games

I have become addicted to board games lately... No thanks to a
hobbyist friend. I have played Monopoly Deal, Bhonanza, Guillotine and
Wasabi. While it is an absolute joy to play, it also eats a great deal
of my time. And their time. We should really do try to do something
about this. :)

Weeked!

This week was weeked! :)

Got to talk to one of my fave little gurls! It was so sweet that she remembered my name. Aww...

I was able to work on part of my prototype as well. I got to watch Underworld at the Platinum cinema. I forgot to bring my shawl (again!!! haist!!!) but I got a free lease on a cozy jacket! *yehey!!!*

Early this week I got to spend quality time with my mom and I also go to play Monopoly Deal (Finally!!!)! :)

Sent from my iPod

More Time

Suddenly I have more time in my hands. Or it feels like it. Underload
for this term. I am anticipating the many units in the next few terms.
Must make the most of this trimester. :)

Me

Today was "me" day in so many ways.

I was happy all day not withstanding my open gums and the fact that I
cannot chew food or ingest foods with small particles.

Thank You.

Music

I have come to realize that I cannot work without music. I need it to
fuel me. I thought before that I can work at coffee shops because of
the environment. I worked better at coffee shops because I always
listened to my own music.

Thank You for the gift of music.

Coined

Three coins made me smile today.

From this I learned the following:

1. It pays to clean because one can uncover the sweetest of things.
2. It IS the thought that counts.
3. I will not look at a one peso coin the same way again.

I just found out that I have to defend second week of classes! This
week is the second week of classes!

*panic attack*

I have to submit my document by Monday! I have five days.

Chill-dren

I got to play with two beautiful and smart girls today. It was such a
joy being with them. I really had a wonderful time, I did not expect
today to be this beautiful. Thank You. As if playing with these two
bundles of joy was not enough, I also got to ride a seesaw! *woot!* It
has been a long time since I last rode a seesaw and I had such a
blast. After the seesaw, we had an isaw fest. I have forgotten how
yummy the isaw was until today so I had to steal another isaw
*hehehe!!!*, well, it was more of a donation. Thanks! :) I also got to
have a red velvet cupcake which is my most favorite cupcake flavor
hands down. *yummy!!!* I also got to see a kid I used to play with her
when she was three, she is twelve now. She called me Tita Friend and
my other friend Tito Monster back then. She still remembers me. I was
touched.

In between all these, I had great company and so much laughter.

I thank You dear Lord for this wonderful day.

You truly are my Lord and my Shepherd, I shall not want. In verdant
pastures You give me rest and beside still waters you restore my soul.

Thank You.

Happy Birthday Jesus! :)

Petition

Dear Lord, please let me be able to channel all my focus and effort on
this one project that I am doing right now. I really need to.

Thanks a bunch!

Love,
Me

My Playlist

I just realized that the playlist of my life has changed. I am glad.

Thank You.

Ghost

I do not like ghosts but today, I find a new meaning in the word ghost.

Thank You.

PS. I had my hair cut really, really short yesterday and so far, I
think I like it. I am not sure how other people feel about it but I
really am liking it *crazy laugh*!

Usurfer Surfing Trip

I was not able to do what I was supposed to do today. *Boo!!!*

I instead, obsessed on the coming surf trip's logistics. While I was
able to get that out of my to do list. I have my Chapter 1 to rewrite.
I hope to be able to finish it soon! *Arrgh!!!* Hopefully, before the
surf trip so I can have my adviser look at it.

Tomorrow, I have two classes but I hope to squeeze in dissertation
time tomorrow.

Thank You Lord.

I know You will help me.

Inching Away or Inching Closer?

I just do not want to forget this quote by Asha Tyson:

Your journey has molded you for your greater good.
And it is exactly what it needed to be.
Dont think that you have lost time.
It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now.
And now is right on time.

I need to remember this all the time because I find myself often
ridden with regret. Quite a different version of me from the younger
me. Perhaps because so many years ago, I did not see myself as wiling
time away. Now, more than often, I seem to think that I am watching
Father Time carry me farther and farther into the void of old age. :)

Through this quote I realize that I am where I am and I must continue
to trudge on because each day brings me closer to who I need to be.

Ex-cited and Exhausted

I am strangely excited for class tomorrow.

It's sad that though I brought my dumbbells out, I was unable to use
them... I hope to do Yoga tomorrow. Colds, please go away.

Thank You dear Lord for allowing me make it to mass today. *whew!* It
was a late notice from the coordinator and I had to be the substitute
commentator. I thank You Lord because I am less nervous now and I
still get to enjoy the mass.

I thank You dear Lord because I know little by little You are changing me.

I hope I can keep this up.

Thank You for so many things but today I am most grateful for my
family, my mom in particular.

Thank You so much for my mommy and for Mama Mary. I feel Your love
through them.

Oh and yeah, I am happy I am getting published on Springer!!! *woot!*
Never mind that I won't be able to download the paper because I do not
have an account on Springer *hehe!!!* First!!! :)

I now have an IEEE and a Springer!!! *woot!!!*

When oh when will I get a Journal? :)

Huggies

I love hugs!

I also love moments like this:

Me: *singing Marry Me by Train* Maaaaareeeeeh meeeeh....
Sister: Halloween is over, why are you still trying to scare me? (In
the vernacular)

Priceless.

Three Blind Men

The homily today was about the blind men who told Jesus Christ, "Lord
have pity on us.". They did not directly ask the Lord to heal them.

The priest said, more often than not we ask the Lord for exactly what
we want. We think we know better than Him. When we do not get what we
ask for we get disappointed. The priest said it's normal to be
disappointed. However, we have to remember that the Lord gave us the
best that He had, His Son. He gave us His Son. That should clue us in
that He will always give to us what is best.

I am among those who ask for exactly what she wants. I have always
believed in another passage, "Ask and you shall receive, know and the
door shall be opened.". I realized today that the source of my
frustration is precisely this. I have to be humble and trust in the
Lord. I am at His mercy after all.

Today's Psalm response was "The Lord is my light and my salvation.".

I shall not trust on mortals but on the Lord who has mercy.

Oh and yeah... On a very happy note, I have found the medal!!! *yahoo!!!*

Another realization that I had, I am pretty. :) *haha thick face!!!*
Seriously though, today I realized that I am pretty, lovable and sexy.
If you have not realized that about yourself, it is not yet too late!
:)

Ciao! :)

Lost

I cannot believe I have lost the medal after a week. I seriously
cannot find it. I even thought of going home to get it when I realized
I did not have it in my pocket. When I checked where I usually place
it, it was not there. I checked all my pants' pockets and it was
nowhere to be found. I am still hoping I can find it tomorrow. I am
beginning to wonder if I really did take it with me the day I wore my
formal clothes but forgot where I placed it exactly. I can distinctly
remember carrying it with me last Sunday though... *tsk...*

I am not liking myself right now.

Apart from the medal, I feel like I am losing my sense of self as
well... Not liking this at all.

Must get my act together.

Then again, maybe I just need to run and swim. It has been two weeks
after all. *sigh*

I need endorphins.

Rainbow After The Rain

Last Sunday was a great day for me because I got to go see my college
buddies again. It was surreal to see their kids. I can still vividly
remember snippets of our college days. Who would have thought that in
a few years our lives would be like this. It is always a joy for me to
hold in my embrace kids. The more I hold kids in my arms, the more I
realize that I should be teaching younger minds. The more I am
reminded that I also want my own kids... But I do not want to whine
tonight... Actually, I am sick of whining in my head. I just have to
put everything unto Him and He will take care of everything.

As if being with kids was not enough, I had another sweet surprise
waiting for me that night. It was just what I needed after two weeks
of agony. I know, I know I am such a brat. I understand that other
people are in much more pain but we all have different thresholds
okay. Mine is not that great. Don't be hatin'.

Today was another nice bonus. I was not particularly cheerful this
morning but this afternoon and evening was a blast. I got to see
somebody's dream come to fruition. Congratulations! I am so happy and
proud of you!

Medal

I was at PGH today to see my dentist and I got there an hour early. I
was pleased to know that they have a 1215 mass at their chapel so I
decided to hear mass. There was somebody who talked about Our Lady of
the Miraculous Medal. I was unable to listen to the rest of the talk
because my mom called but Our Lady made an apparition and has been
interceding for many years now.

They gave out medallions after the mass. I waited for my medallion
before going to see my dentist. I was pleased. I finally understood
the reason for the medallions. At St. Paul, they used to give out the
medallions every October (Universally known as the month of the Holy
Rosary) but I never knew until today that there is Our Lady of
Miraculous Medal behind it. I hope I will not lose my medallion. :)

The homily was again about trials, and chaos and how after all this,
everything will be better.

I thank You dear Lord for the comforting message. I thank You for
always sending me people and comforting words and love.

Yesterday, the homily was about becoming happier and holier. I think
the last few days of turmoil has indeed made me, ironically, happier
and holier. Through the last few days, I was able to take a peek of
somebody who was in emotional anguish. Suddenly, I understood people I
used to not understand. Suddenly, I was more forgiving, more
sympathetic. During the last few days, I felt more love than I have
from the usual and the unusual places. So while the last few days were
horrific and I had moments in the morning when I did not want to get
up, I felt loved.

I realized that sometimes we demand love in the one place where we
cannot get it and totally ignore the abundance of love in other places
that are totally within our reach. We exhaust ourselves obsessing only
to realize in the end that there is more than enough love for you to
go around. Just not in the one place you are expecting it to be but
sometimes, that is fine. You would be surprised that, in time, that
one place may give you some love when you stop obsessing.

Thank You.

I guess it is true that only in the heat of the fire, and the
bludgeons of heavy steel can you forge the finest of swords. Dear
Lord, I also realized in the last few days, that I am fine with the
idea that I am not the best of swords... Enough of the heat and the
bludgeons please. :)

Thanks! :)

I only have 12 days left until my deadly deadline. I better really get
crackin'!!!

Tonight I sleep, tomorrow I work like crazy! :)

*excited!!!*

Crossroads?

I signed up for GodWhispers.com many months ago. Lately, I have bee
going through a rough patch and this email was in my inbox today:

When an obstacle is in front of you, it simply means there are better
paths elsewhere. Paths that are a hundred times better, a thousand
times better, a million times better!

Yippee,

God

P.S. So excited for you, Rhia.

Incidentally, today's homily was also about difficulties. According to
the priest, difficulties are encountered so that better things may
come. While difficulties may sometimes be caused by evil, to triumph
over this always results to a better you, a happier you and a holier
you.

What does this all mean? I am confused...

Shall I do what I normally do? Stand by and watch things unravel?
They say, when You let the Lord do what He does best, You will be
surprised. Please do Your work dear Lord because I am not sure how
long I can withstand being like this... This is driving me nuts.

Let things start getting better.

Please.

Please.

Please.

I really can use a break from all this. *takes a whiff of happiness from bottle*

Cloudy and High

I am giddy happy. I have not been this way in a long time.

I am not sure if it has to do with the Snow Lady and Custle Pao intake.

In the meantime, let me get back to my dissertation.

*floats in my own nimbus cloud of happiness* Isn't it ironic that I
call it nimbus when nimbus as been associated to rain and rain has
been associated to turmoil. Let me change that. *floats in my own
cumulus cloud of happiness* Hmm... but then cumulus are relatively low
clouds. Puffy, yes but they are low... I feel high... *floats in my
own stratus cloud of happiness* Then again, this one has snow and rain
and often not so puffy... *I am in cloud nine enough said*. I don't
understand why but I am and that's all I care about for now.

Super Saturday

Yes, the kind with a red cape and an underwear worn outside. That kind
of super! :)

Tonight was eriously one of the best nights ever!!!

Tonight was loaded and packed with so many sweet surprises! Soh going
to my bottle. :) That makes me sound like a witch *hahaha!!!*. Please
see older entries for context.

I have never been this happy to hear my name said out loud. I never
liked my first name much but hearing it from one of the two oh so cute
and innocent kiddos was priceless. *sigh* I wanted to take the
munchkins home *hahaha!!!*.

I also got a red velvet cupcake. Seriously a great night.

Oh and the movie was funny, I cried and cried laughing.

Thank You Lord!

Now on to the more serious stuff.... Ack.

Little Packages of Cheer

There is no sound on this Earth that beats the sound of happy children.

Thank You for the gift of allowing me to hear innocent kids shriek and
giggle and laugh. My heart melts as I think about it now. Highlight:
One cute little girl said " I love you." to me. *sigh*

This is going straight to my happiness bottle around my neck. :)

Oh and yeah, started programming my prototype today. Am not sure
what's going to happen but it feels nice to be programming. :)

Time Capsule

Today was another blast. I can get used to this. :) Today felt like I travelled back in the past. I was smiling like crazy. I am still smiling like crazy. I want to bottle up all my happiness and memories and wear it as a necklace so I can take a whiff of it whenever I want to remember today.

Thank You. :)

*smiling like crazy*

Sent from my iPod

ROM

Thank You for a beautiful day.

I want to burn today to my memory.

Miss

I miss having a hand to hold. I miss my hand being held. i miss having a hand search for my hand. I miss being wanted. I miss being assured every single day without my bidding. I miss having someone to lean against. I miss being pulled close in an embrace. I miss being longed for. I miss being able to stare into somebody's eyes and seeing myself in delight. I miss feeling warm lips against mine. I miss being wanted. I miss being acknowledged. I miss being somebody's world.

Missing all these make me feel I am missing out on life. I have to stop missing these because life is right in front of me happening. It is not going to wait.

I have to move on, regardless whether I will ever have all that I am missing. I trudge on, wandering listlessly hoping and dreaming.

I dream of being able to dream aloud with another. I dream of staring in the same direction and painting the same picture. I dream of long conversations in silence. I dream of a lifetime of love and laughter and adventure. Others are able to find it, I hope I can too. I want beyond what I miss. I want my dream.

I look around now and I wonder where do I go from here?

Sent from my iPod

Le Sick

Is me.

I just saw my All Laser Lasik Surgery video.

What the hell was I thinking subjecting myself to such a risky operation?!

They cut a flap on my eye and used a metal stick to lift it. That flap
could have torn or there could have been folds and stuff and then that
would have messed things up. I am not saying the doctors were
careless... I am saying many things could have gone wrong. I thank the
Lord because of my recovery. I was praying as I went through the
entire harrowing experience.

I am glad and grateful that my eyes are doing okay according to the
doctor. I can now go back to my usual activities save for swimming. I
have put on my eye cream again... It has been seven days since I last
used it and I can really feel the lack of moisture taking its toll...
Vanity again.

I also found out today that I can still sky dive and scuba dive and
expose myself in high pressure areas even after Lasik. Initially, I
thought they were going to put in lenses in my eyes but apparently,
they just laser the lens of my eyes to fix the refraction.

I could see fear in my eyes as the machine did its thing. I squirmed
as I saw the metal apparatuses on on my eyes and how they treated my
eyes as though it were some sturdy object... Those are my eyes!!!

If I saw a video like this before I had my eyes done, I would never go
through with it...

So far I have just been experiencing drying of the eyes, which I
expected. I hope it does not worsen though... Apart from that, I think
I am okay. I still see some halos when I look at the light directly
but other than that I am fine.

I am delighted by the clearness of things and the fact that I need not
remove my lenses and wear eye glasses. I can take a bath and see my
body parts *info overshare*, I can plank and do other mat exercises
and not have my eye glasses falling off my face. I cannot wait to run!
;)

Hmm... I think I will invite my sister to run this Sunday so she can
also prepare for her HSBC run. :)

2M2M

There was a time when it was not tack to write down too many too
mention but then that was a time when very few things were considered
tacky... Like... Hmm... I am sure there were a few things but there
isn't a single one coming to me now. Blame it on the memory... or
perhaps the lack of taste *relatively!* back when I was young.

A lot has happened to me the past few days. I had my first ever trip
to Vietnam. I am not sure when the next one will be but I am darn sure
it will be for a business trip again because otherwise I will not go
and visit again. I found myself cooped up in one place most of the
time. Their city is nice but then again, I am not that big a fan of
cities... except New York City but that is understandable. :)

I had my Lasik Surgery after I got back from Vietnam and that got me
consumed. Also, I had to finish my machine project in my online class
at Stanford U. Ack... That ate my time. Big time. Now I have another
one. I hope I can do this faster because I have to get back to my
dissertation. I want to kick myself already. I have this feeling that
this should not be as hard as I am making it look. I am just
sensationalizing this and I am hating myself for it.

I am happy I do not have to wear glasses anymore and that the first
thing that I see in the morning is the picture of clarity. That and of
course everything in disarray but clear disarray mind you not the
blurry botch of mixed palette of colors. Happiness!

I went and had my surgery alone. I got into a taxi and got home alone
and most people scolded me because they said I should have asked
somebody to come with me. I did not want to inconvenience another
person and besides I figured whomever I bring along will just freak
and it will not help my nerves either. Besides, my mom did take
herself to the hospital to deliver all three of her children.

I really have to work double time... I do not like the idea but I have
to *heheheh!*.

Thank You dear Lord for a basketful of sweet goodies yesterday. They
made my day. They were so good. :) Thank You for always keeping me
safe and also my loved ones. Thank You for surrounding me with so much
love.

I pray that I may be able to go back to my normal routine very soon
because I can feel my body fat sneaking up on me already. That and the
aging process is beginning to get to me... Arrgh!!!

Then again, I am happy. I guess that is what matters at the end of the
day. That and the number of people I have made happy. Which reminds
me... I do not think the number of the latter is that high yet.

I better sleep. Will try to work on the machine project tomorrow and
get my eyes checked. It has been a week since my Lasik procedure. I
hope everything is fine. I hope both eyes are still 20/20. :)

Sweets

Good morning sa inyo...

My morning was beautiful... sweet, creamy, chilly, chocolatey hehehe...

Thank You Lord for the surprise. It made my morning. I also appreciate another sweet surprise midweek.

Thoughtfulness has always made me smile like crazy. Thank You Lord for making my heart smile. :)

Sent from my iPod

At Peace

I am strangely at peace today. Perhaps it's because it's the feast day of St. Francis of Asissi or maybe the Lord has finally answered my prayer.

Thank You for this gift.

Sent from my iPod

Class

I have just enrolled in and had my first class in one of the online
courses at Standford University. I have been following the professor
for a while now via iTunesU and I am glad I enrolled because it really
gives me a feel of an actual lecture class with recitation and quizzes
haha!!! So far I am doing well. I had two quizzes already. I had to
recall my Calculus. Gah! I think I need to read Leithold TC7 again. :)

Can you tell I am excited? We just did linear regression today and
gradient descent (and how this works if used for linear regression). I
do not teach this in class but maybe I should perhaps this would help
them understand other concepts in machine learning more particularly
global optimum/minimum, convergence, and why in the world we use
functions. I only hope I can find time to religiously follow the
classes. :) If not, I always have iTunesU but the materials online are
guhreat! I signed up for an advanced class so there will be
programming classes. Their classes are more algorithmic and
mathematical and I am used to applied ones. I hope I survive! :)

Cheers!

Random Topic

I had a chat with two guys tonight. One is about to get married and
the other one has a girlfriend. I do not know how we got to talking
about how they make their girlfriend feel secure after a severe bout
of jealousy but somehow our nonsense talk veered towards this
direction. They both said the same thing. They try their best to woo
the girl after a moment of doubt. They try to convince the girl that
the girl is the only one for them. While they are convinced that
everybody knows that no amount of assurance will help, they do it
anyway until the girl feels all better.

I thought this was really sweet.

I wish them all the best. Their partners are fortunate. I am thinking,
they are too, for finding a person that they do not tire of assuring
and more importantly loving.

Today, while I was super tired because my day was nonstop from 9am
until 6pm, I am surprisingly at peace. Thank You Lord. :)

Meet Joe Black

I actually got this from a post by one of my students.

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say,
fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who
will love you the same way back. How do you find him? Well, you forget
your head, and you listen to your heart. To make the journey and not
fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all. But you
have to try, cause if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."

Hmm...

I'm not sure. :)

Nooneenoo for the Day

You do not fall in love with a person because he or she is the most beautiful person you know. You fall in love with the person just because. It is something you just accept like a phenomenon or a conundrum. Like gravity and how because of it life on Earth is possible, and how because of it cosmic bodies are going around their respective orbits. How because of it everything is just right.

Love, while very difficult to grasp and explain is a gift. It is there whether you want it or not, whether you believe or not, so might as well trust it and be pulled. You never stood a chance against it anyway.

Sent from my iPod

Sticks and Stones Break Bones

I hank You for all my positive thoughts dear Lord. Please keep them coming. :)

When bones break and they have to heal you put them in a cast to set them right. The skin gets itchy and of course the cast itself is heavy but in the end, if you wait for the right time, the bones will set and not before long everything is back to normal.

Thank you for the rainbow, the sunrise, the promise of another tomorrow. Thank You for the gift of hope. Thank You for allowing us to heal in Your time. Thank You for always providing a way to set things straight.

Whenever I feel itchy ease me, whenever the cast feels heavy please support me and whenever I tire of waiting, send me a rainbow, a sunrise, a promise of another tomorrow. My hope is in You alone.

Thank You. :)

PS:

Thank You for giving me such a colorful rainbow. :) It is so vibrant, I cannot wait! :)

Sent from my iPod

Burn Baby Burn

Dear Lord, I thank You for the fuel. The past two days have been amazing. Please keep the fuel burning. I really feel like I just might be ready.

I have to do away with mediocrity and for once just go for gold haha! I cannot, cannot stop. Must not lose momentum. Hopefully, inertia is great enough.

Sent from my iPod

Testing

Hello!

Just testing something. Ignore. :)

Xiao!

I was able to taste this amalgamation of meat and soup paradise
wrapped in dimsum wrapper in Taipei. I almost missed it so I can go
around the city some more... You know how I can be when in a foreign
place but the Taiwanese professor I was in partnership with urged me
to come with them to a famous restaurant that turned out to be Din Tae
Fung. I was able to try their first ever restaurant. We ordered
different types of dimsum, I will post the pictures here as soon as I
find them in my hard disk. The dimsums I tried are the best ever I
have tried.

In 2010, I was happy to have been able to go to Hong Kong because Din
Tae Fung has a branch there. I was able to try the Silver Cord branch
at Kowloon. The branch did not disappoint. I was so happy because I
was able to allow my family to try the Xiao Long Bao there.

In the Philippines, I have tried some restaurants that serve Xiao Long
Bao. I have decided to write about them here so I will not forget. :)

There is Suzhou in Mabini. The wrapper is too thick for me but other
than that, this is actually alright. The price is 90Php per four
pieces. I love their ginger sauce. The place is not upscale but the
food is great.

I have also tried Shilin and I must say this is the closest to Din Tae
Fung. The price is 250 for every 10 pieces if I am not mistaken. This
is located at the Podium.

Today, yesterday and three days ago (Yes, I have been frequenting
Golden Bay), I was able to try the Xiao Long Pao at Golden Bay in
Macapagal. I was disappointed all three times, the Xiao Long Pao does
not have enough soup inside and it does not have the same flavor.
Their sauce is not as good as the sauce provided by Suzhou too... I
love their Snow Lady though. (An absolute must try!)

I would like to try Crystal Jade restaurant in Greenhills. I have not
tried that place yet. I hope too soon though. :)

Xiao! :)

Paper Writing

The reason why my proposal writing keeps on taking a backseat is
because I write papers. I am so excited about the paper that I am
writing right now. I initially thought the deadline was today but
fortunately deadline is almost a month from now *whew!*! I hope the
paper gets in, not because I am excited to go out of the country again
but because I really, really want this paper to get published. I am
really happy with our findings and I want it to be out there. I want
the paper to be reviewed by the experts. :)

The other paper that I have been praying for to get accepted, got
accepted *woohoo!!!*. This is going to get published by Springer and I
am soh happy!!! This conference will be at Diliman and I will not be
going out of the country for this, and yet, notice how happy I am, I
think I am maturing as a researcher *haha*! This conference was
organized by Osaka University. :)

I will be leaving the country some time this October for Hanoi,
Vietnam for a conference. I have also been praying for the paper to
get into this conference. Thank You Lord for your generosity. :) I
have never been to Vietnam and yes, I am excited! I hope I get to do
some fun stuff while there.

Okay, back to the paper that I was writing! :)

P.S.

Yesterday and the day before have been above average wonderful. Thank
You dear Lord for the surprises that You bring my way. It makes me
giddy. Truly, You have blessed me. Please help me take care of Your
blessings. Sometimes I doubt because it is hard to believe that You
have given somebody as lowly as me so much. I realize that You do this
so that I may be able to channel Your love to others. Thank You for
entrusting me with so much. :)

You make me happy. I smile for You and because of You.

Silver Lining

I have been out of my element lately!

As I left my friend's car tonight, I caught myself tangled with the seatbelt and my jacket! Seriously! I ended up laughing my heart out, out of sheer frustration! *aargh!!!* What is wrong with me?

I am growing constellations of pimples (understatement!) on my chin. I have accidentally overwritten a file that is soh important to me I cannot even begin to describe. For a while, I thought I would keep it to myself, thinking my friends would judge me. The minute I saw my closest friend though, everything just poured out. I almost cried. My friend did not judge me. Instead, he found possible solutions to my problem. I was so relieved. I am glad he was able to see my pain. Not only did he try to provide solutions, he also cheered me up with his magic tricks.

Thank You for sending me people who are really there to help out. While today was such a stressful day, I was not able to hear mass and all, I felt Your presence through the people who were there for me.

Thank You because through them, I feel Your love.

Gift of Present

Another trimester has ended and I have once more given the grades of my students. They have given me the things that they have learned in the Personal Effectiveness subject that I teach.

I am amazed at how much they have put the things I have presented in class to practice. Now, if only I can do that too... *haha* The best perk of being a teacher is to hear the sincere "Thank You" of the students. I really am grateful for being in this profession.

Another perk is being able to join the swim meet! :)

I had my second swim meet today!

I won first place out of two swimmers! :) Not bad *hahaha*! My time is 55 seconds. Still not the 30 seconds I am gunning for but hopefully with practice I will get there. Now, everyone has been heckling me about being a swimming champion this year and last year (where I had nobody to swim against) *haha*! I told them I will get a jacket that says Back-to-Back. They told me they'll get a three-peat shirt for next year *haha*.

It was fun swimming but I was a nervous wreck the night before because I had to be conscious about my sleeping position lest my left shoulder might hurt. I also had this bad case of palpitations because of a caffeinated drink a friend gave me. Being the glutton that I am, I drank the Figaro drink, as a result, I was palpitating until I fell asleep. I was up until three in the morning! Early this morning, I was still having difficulty breathing and my heart rate has not normalized completely but I had to get myself together. I was still able to do two laps before we competed. :)

Since I have been up until three in the morning, I really should be going to bed now.

Good night world!

Thank You Lord for the gift of the present. May I always remember that I should worry not what tomorrow brings because You got my back. :)


P.S.
The homily last Friday was beautiful. In a way, I think it might be an answer to a question that has long been lingering in my neurotic head.

The gospel was about Jesus saying how the highest of commandments are, "Love God above all else. Love others as you love yourself.".

The priest said something that struck me (not verbatim, his version was soh much nicer): "Sometimes we are afraid to love because we are afraid of getting hurt. We think that by not loving, we will not get hurt. This is true, but to love is to live and so to not love is to not reach life's full potential."

I quite agree. To love is to give others the power to hurt us.

Cue in music. *And I'm ready to take a chance again, ready to put my love on the line... * *wahahaha*

Seriously though, my application is to think about this. I am not sure if this is an answer to a question in my head. If it is, I thank You Lord.

Baggage Free

I have finally done what I should have done for a long time. De-clutter. I am not sure why I have kept them for so long *haha!*. I feel so light!

This is considering that I have not been running lately. :)

The One

Everybody can go back on their word. All, save for one. That is Jesus. He will always keep His promise and for that I am grateful. And hopeful.

Sent from my iPod

Lolo Duh-ed's

Oh yeah, I almost forgot... maybe because I have been trying so hard to forget... *hehe!*

My friends and I tried the Eat-All-You-Can Sirloin, Wagyu, US Ribeye, Prawns, Risotto, Mashed Potato, Rice at Lolo Dad's Brasserie for only 1200 Php+ 10%.

It was a rather disappointing experience. The beef were not consistent in size. I am talking drastic inconsistencies here. Too bad I did not take pictures because I did not bring with me a decent camera. Some were of decent size, some were really like meat scraps.

I was served rare instead of medium well once. My friend was served grilled instead of baked prawns (twice!). When we told the server it was wrong, the waiter wanted my friend to eat it. When my friend refused, the server just left it on the table for us to still eat it... Talk about force feeding. Our orders got switched. The sirloin was not tender. At all. There were wagyus that were decent but most of it was not tender either. Sauce got spilled on the table cloth so the waiter took my friend's table napkin to cover the mess! It took a really long time before food came out. I was served cold steak. If Gordon Ramsay were there, he would just switch off the kitchen.

I had high expectations because I have heard wonderful things about Lolo Dad's along Quirino Avenue. The 6750 Lolo Dad's sucks. We even saw a cockroach on the window. Yes, it was inside the restaurant. Service sucked big time. The only time there were waiters waiting was the time when Tony Boy Cojuangco was inside. the restaurant.

The waiter volunteered the information that the chefs were at a competition. My theory is that since the chefs were at the competition, the waiters had to cook and random strangers waited on tables. This explains the bad food and the bad service.

To conclude, we are not going to go back.

Here Comes The Sun

I am now, yet again, basking in sunshine. I realized that the reason why I was not feeling warm is because I have been hiding far too long underneath the shed. Silly me thought, I was going to get the sun to come in eventually if I stayed hidden long enough. It is good that it has finally dawned on me that the sun is too cosmic, too hot, too significant for a mere mortal like me to will it to come inside my cold hole.

Being happy is a choice.

Recognizing your blessings is a choice.

For a while, I have forgotten this.

Thank You for sending people to remind me that this is the secret to happiness.

Thank You for the acts of thoughtfulness that abound each day.

Eclipse

Efforts are not in vain. I am sorry I focus on mistakes. They almost eclipsed the most beautiful thing. I am such an ingrate. I have to do more reminiscing to see how fortunate I am.

I muwt put this eclipse behind me. Like the eclipse, this does not happen often. I can certainly overlook a moment of darkness for many years of sunshine.

Thank You Lord for the experience, may we really learn from it.

Sent from my iPod

Victor Hugo

While his works known to me are tragic because he is not one to sugarcoat and pretend happy endings will always happen, there is one page in Les Miserables that made me realize that through all the harsh realities this is what you can revel in:

You are loved in spite and despite of who you are. Loved more tha. you can ever understand and cared for more than you possibly deserve.

I think it is also quie amazing if I can also feel the same towards another:

To love in spite and despite of, more than I can underetand and care for more than the other deserves.

because in the end this is the kind of love that the Lord gives. We were built in His likeness and so we are probably built to love like Him as well.

Sent from my iPod

Progress Report

We are going to have a meeting tomorrow and I am not very pleased with what I have accomplished in the last few days. I could have done more had I not been so glued to the television which conveniently is just a few inches from me! Aargh!

I need to go to a research retreat and really, really think about things. I just need to prepare all my materials, say for example, a completed RRL. I cannot say I have done well because I am still lacking greatly I think in materials. I have now, a memory of a goldfish so I need to keep on reviewing the papers. This might be a good thing, hopefully, by the time (which SHOULD be next term) I defend, I would know them by heart.

I might not do Hidden Markov Model anymore because most readings say I need a representation that is human readable. I still need a probabilistic approach but definitely it has to have first order predicate logic somewhere. Wow, I make it sound like I understand it *haha!*. I have no friggin' idea yet how to do this but hopefully, I will get there.

My papers are more or less organized (leaning more towards LESS), I still have a tall pile to read but I have to attend the meeting by tomorrow already and I haven't got the time to continue reading some more. My output will just have to do.

I have to go and catch some winks, tomorrow is a full day. I do not like defense week. Nobody does. So why do we have it again?

Answered Call, Answered Prayer

I woke up today a bit later than I wanted to. I woke up at ten in the morning but I was a tad bit sleepy still and then the phone rang. That phone call woke me up faster than a pitcher of ice cold water fresh from the refrigerator. It was a call I have been praying for. That call was an answered prayer.

Please let everything just fall into place. I am tired and forlorn. I am not sure for how long I can still withstand this. I have much that I need to attend to and this is consuming me. Please let everything be normal again.

Through You everything is possible. I raise everything up to You, I know You have me in the Palm of Your Hands.

Thank You.

Suspension

I think the government has to rethink the guidelines for class suspension for the different levels. These guidelines have been there since i was young and our environment has changed greatly since then. A signal number 2 can already cause waist deep floods whereas before this might not have been the case.

The guidelines are there to protect the youth. They have to revisit every now and then especially since we are going through climate change. I thought after Ondoy this should be done without them being told.

Sent from my iPod

Pollution

I hope I am not as annoying as this person. I really hope I do not sound as irritating because if I do, I should start hating myself. I would wear earphones but I am waiting for my advisees to call for me...

Aargh...


How much longer do I need to listen to this?

Cons

I do not know how many contact lens wearers will be reading this post but no matter how small the number is, I still want to do my part in raising the awareness for GPC or Giant Papillary Conjunctivitis. I am greatly disappointed in optometrists and optical shops for never informing contact lens wearers or prospective contact lens wearers of the risks that they face if they choose to wear contact lenses.

Last Wednesday, my right eye wept for half a day because it was rejecting my right contact lens. I know I am also at fault here for being irresponsible and not going to see an opthalmologist right away. It is ironic that a friend of mine for the longest time IS an opthalmologist *hehe!*. But her clinic is just too far away ... I digress. I thought it would go away because normally it does but this time around, it just would not quit even if I use my Aquify eye drops from Ciba. I had to go home to remove my lenses.

The following day, after much prodding from a close friend, I went to the hospital. I was told that I have GPC. Chronic contact lens wearers suffer from this. Essentially, wearing contact lens regularly makes one an automatic candidate. This condition has ten levels and I was told that I was in the 2nd level.

GPC causes your eyes to dry because this inflames the inner layer of the eyelid making the surface rough. This leads to dry eyes and discomfort. The cornea, which is the transparent layer of the eye gets its nutrients from the air and from the tears coming form the tear ducts. GPC makes your eyes produce less tears, hence, the cornea will dry up and if GPC gets really bad, it can get brittle and easily get scratched. I am fortunate because my cornea has no signs of abrasions.*whew*

The deal with my doctor is this, I cannot wear contacts for a week. After that, I have to reduce my contact lens wear from seven days to only five days a week. My friend told me not to wear contacts all together. My doctor proposed this as well in order to banish the symptoms. However, my doctor understands that this is impossible for me. I cannot give up wearing lenses. I do not want to wear glasses while I run. I do not want to swim blind. I know, I know I can get prescriptive goggles but... okay fine... maybe I will get a pair... *sigh*. So, while my friend insists that I do not wear contacts anymore, I was able to haggle and convince that I can wear contacts whenever I run or I swim. I will try my utmost best to not wear contacts. *haha*

This morning I accidentally wore them because I have programmed myself to be this way.

Oh and yeah, my doctor got me Genteel it's an eye drop product by Novartis. It has to be refrigerated so I am not sure how to go about using it at least four times a day when I need to keep it cool. I bring it with me nonetheless so I can use it.

I hope my eyes get better. I miss my contacts already. :)

SONga (State of Ngayon)

I was visiting memory lane and saw a list of things I wanted to do for 2006 and I realize that I was able to do most of it.


Still read books for leisure
I still do read for leisure. In fact, I think I am less stringent in terms of the books that I read. I am less discriminating. I sill would not read a Harry Potter to save my life but I still find reading as one of the most entertaining things to do.


Remember that my younger sister is no longer a baby
She is now a professional and has a boyfriend. I still have my big sister syndrome but I am proud to say that yes, I have now accepted that she is no longer a baby. :) *wahahah!!!* She can't push me around anymore. :)

Be more organized, organized, organized!
*hehe!* Relatively, yes. I am now more organized. I do use an electronic and a paper planner now. I have recently, (thnk last night) started a new filing system for the papers that I am referencing for my RRL. I have a special folder in my hard disk for all the papers, grouped in specific topics mind you, so that should say enough about how much I have improved. My desk still looks like a hurricane ransacked it but a slightly forgiving hurricane.


Be more punctual!
I am now more punctual in my classes. I have not been late for my class for a while now and I have not forgotten any of my classes during the beginning of the term. :) *beams*

Stick to my thrice a week 20-lap swimming, once a week 30 min jog and thrice a week crunches
I now just swim 10 laps instead of 20. My schedule will only permit me this much and at least once a week... I rarely get to swim more than once actually. I get to run at most thrice a week and at least once a week. It used to be 9KM but then it went down to 5KM and then now to 2.5KM but I have been doing intervals so that should count for something. I do not do crunches but I now do Barre3. My blood pressure if 90/60 for crying out loud! I think I am doing fine. :)


Earn PhD units
Twice more than the required actually. Talk about overkill.

Publish a paper
Check! :)

ERCIM tie up

I do not even remember this *wahaha* but I was able to have a project with ICT-Asia through a French institution and I had as partners universities from Korea, Thailand, Taiwan and Singapore. I am also in partnership with the Psychology department right now and I have an ongoing DOST-PCASTRD project. I guess I did okay.

Make classes informative but exciting and fun
I do my best. I hope I am doing this. I can't believe I used to have this much passion. Enough at least to put this on my list hehe...

Propose an improved Computer Literacy Program as Pagkamulat Coordinator
We were able to improve the materials. Also, before I stepped down I was able to partner with MACE Learning Center and now every year we go there to give gifts to the kids and we also sponsor some kids there so they can go to school. I am still an active member of Pagkamulat and I love it.

Be responsive to calamity victims
We rarely have drives now.

Encourage more faculty involvement in Pagkamulat
This caused me much frustration before. I thnk the new coordinator is doing a much better job. :)

Be a good Practicum coordinator
I am proud to say that I have really improved in this area. I love my job. I love my students. I cannot say more. :)

Complain less :)
This blog is a testament to how much of a miserable failure I am in this department.

Less topaks for my boyfriend to worry about
No comment.

Continue to be an active lector
I stopped for a while but I am now back as a commentator.

Become a better badminton player
I still suck but I think my hand-eye coordination improved. I have learned how to play Ultimate Frisbee, pingpong and I did score one of the highest scores at Laser Extreme when I played with a bunch of my friends. But yeah, I still suck at badminton.

Join a fun run
I joined more than one actually. My last time was 30 minutes for 5K and 1hour for 10K I think. I stopped running because registration fees are just prohibitive. I would rather spend on my gear than on the registration.

Skate again
I did. On the ice and on pavements. I do not skate now, however. I do not know if I will skate again.

Sing more
We still do have our videoke sessions. We have a magic sing which we now rarely use but I still do sing. :)

Read more, learn more
I still read a lot... of papers :) I read and watch educational stuff and I talk to educated and well-read people so yeah, I grab every chance to learn.

I will come up with a new list of things I want to do and keep doing soon. :)

Progress Bar

I got to run again today! I did intervals again which is the most abhorring thing ever invented by runners, I think. It is really draining and it makes me feel like my lungs are going to explode! So why do it at all, you might ask? It gives me the workout I want in less time. Also, I think it will teach me how to sprint. I am more of a stamina runner/swimmer and I want to learn how to sprint to prepare me for an upcoming meet! :) *nervous*

Last night, I was able to see these sites that gave me tips on how to improve my stroke count. This gives a list of things to do and while some of the tips here, contradict with the eleven-time Olympic medalist *whoah!* Natalie Coughlin, I find the tips helpful nonetheless.

Okay enough of that.

I want to be well-rounded. :) I am doing such a good job considering I have been munching on banana chips *soh good!*. I digress. I am working on my dissertation proposal again. I decided to go back to the literature most similar to what I want to do and work my way from there. I know there will be a lot that I need to go through but these are the papers I will start with first.

I won't bore you anymore with details. I just really wanted to report what I am going to finish by tonight. I will not rest until I really finish all these because I have to finish my chapter one by Friday. Fortunately for me, I do not think I have to work tomorrow.

Over and out. :)

Moving Target

I feel like I keep on doing things over in my dissertation but I think
I might have finally, finally found the specific problem I want to
drill in. I will need to do more RRL again. I swear my friend would
pound my head already. We have been working side by side and my friend
has made giant strides while I slept *wahaha*! I have been utterly
lazy because I was lost for a long time. I was trying to solve a load
of problems when I need to just solve one specific problem!!!

Focus!!!

Next term I will defend my proposal and pass.

I will finish this.

Endor-fins

I got to run today yahoo!!!

I was badly in need of endorphins this morning and it was indeed a blessing to have somebody listen to my sob stories. It was a great opprtunity to be able to have time to err... make time to run. It gave me the endorphin boost that I needed.

I guess I will not just workout for physical fitness anymore but mental fitness and emotional fitness as well. Oh and yeah I have to practice swimming...

Sent from my iPod

Drawing

They say women have this special intuition where you just get a feeling that people are betraying you. Then again, where do you draw the line between intuition and paranoia? A close friend of mine mocked me for even discussing this. He said I am supposed to be a scientist and intuition does not fall under science.

Hmm... I guess. So best to gather evidence, conduct experiments and perform observations before drawing conclusions.

Sent from my iPod

Swimming Ariel

My sister showed me this video and I have been wanting this doll since! I have always loved the Little Mermaid. I saw the movie when I was nine and I have kept on watching it over and over. I memorized her songs and up to this very day, I still sing her song Part of Your World every time we go to a karaoke place.

I wanted an Ariel doll before but I was a stingy kid and my parents gave me money to spend. I saw one that really looked like Ariel in Bahrain before but I was too stingy to buy it. I think it was 10 Dinars which was roughly 1000Php then and it was early nineties... So no. I did not get the doll.

Fast forward to today... I want the Swimming Ariel!!! :) Can I please, please swim with Ariel the next time I am at the pool.

Oh and yeah, Santa, if you can read my blog, may I also have my mermaid fins?! :)

*Swimming Ariel... Swimming Ariel song from the TV advertisement*

Cool-pon Shopping!

I have just discovered the joys of buying coupons online in exchange of different deals! If you want to try getting good deals for services like massages or buffets at your fave hotels or even great deals for holidays you can try clicking on this link. Check Deals!

If you are wondering what I have bought already: *hehe!*

I was able to get buffet coupons at 50% off at Sofitel's Spiral and I was able to get 90% off at a local spa and a nice holiday for only 2,700Php! Cool huh?! If you are looking for gifts they provide nice gifts as well! :)

Life's Oxymorons

I find it truly amazing how people far from each other are closer. I guess it's pretty much like how when your voice is softer people hear you louder. Is it the challenge? Or is it the crave to conquer and to overcome? Is it because humans are designed to break down walls, and defeat limitations?

Whatever force it is that makes people this way, I am grateful.

Because of this force, the Berlin wall went down on November 9, 1989, the world became flat and people continue to strive to break down barriers of distance, space and time.

Thank You.

WAW!

I am now an official emcee under Weddings At Work! *woot!*

I hope I get booked soon! I am trying to figure out what to put on my new website. I am collecting all my pictures from all the weddings I have been an emcee for. I will also be collecting pictures from all the corporate events I have also hosted. I am mighty excited and I hope this really pushes through because it will be fun and it will give me additional income!

*yehey!!!*

Sunshine

I woke very disappointed because I woke up vey late and then like the sun that peeked out after a heavy rain, I received a message and all was bright and sunny again!

Thank You, it really, really made my day! :) I am off to finish tasks! :)

Sent from my iPod

The Sweetest Thing

Somebody eating your leftover.

Hahaha!!! Am I weird or what?!

Seriously though, I appreciate acts of kindness and cavalry when they are really needed, when they matter because then you know it is not just for putting on a show.

Oh and yeah, for the record I really find eating off of a plate of someone sweet. Be that person be a sibling, a parent, a close friend (otherwise it is creepy and disturbing) or a partner (loved one sounds wrong coz all the others previously mentioned are loved too). It shows a certain level of intimacy and trust.

PS.

I had a cute sweet kid to play with today and it made my day. She remembered my name and our mini adventures! This kid will go rock climbing and swimming with the sharks with me someday. :)

Sent from my iPod

First Major Quiz

Melancholia hits me.

I am now in a pensive mood after such a nice day.

*sigh*

Days sometimes can feel like weeks and weeks like months and months like years and years like a lifetime and a lifetime like forever and forever like... I think I have established my point.

Waiting has never been my forte but each day I am learning and I feel stronger each day.

Stroke of Bad Stroke

I swam today and had my sister take my video so I know how stroke looks. My camera phone sucks and my stroke too. Aargh!!! Really?! 60?! For a friggin' 50m?! I know it is ridiculous but I have to aim for a 30!!! So hmm... I have my period so no swimming for me next week but I have to do land training. Hopefully period will end by Saturday and that should let me swim. I have to look at videos for swimming. I was unable to maximize my glide because I was moving my arms too fast.

Next week should be better...

I hope my sister can get me on video again. :)

Sent from my iPod

La-Z Girl

I need to jump start myself. I have been lazing around, not for days mind you but for months. I want to kick myself in the butt. I really must get myself to work. Aargh...

I did not even get to run yesterday! Yes, I have gotten that lazy. I am going to run tomorrow. I must run tomorrow. My sister has warned me how my figure now can change ever so abruptly if I start slacking off again. Needless to say, I am soh very happy with how I look right now! Vanity of vanities!!! :) Better to be happy with how you look than to loathe it, at the end of the day, there is really nothing much you can do with the raw materials you were given with. Harness it and love it or hate it and well be miserable wahaha!!!!

So I am making a deliberate choice to lavett!!!

Thank You Lord for the blessings that just come pouring in. Thank You for the opportunities that You present me with every single day to love You more. More importantly, thank You for the love You send me through the people You have sent my way. Please bless them all.

Nosebleed

I got another nosebleed again this morning. I was not speaking in English and yet... Hmm... Odd.

I also want to learn how to cook. Haha! Something is messing with my system. Must be due to watching too close to the screen at Resort World. Transformers might have screwed with my system.

Still contemplating on running in a while. :)

Sent from my iPod