Hopeful and Happy

Hope is knowing that when you leave, you have a place to come home to.

Happiness is being reunited after not seeing each other for a long time.

Today, I am hopeful and happy at the same time and because I can be both, I am grateful.

Thank You.

Pool of Surprises

I am sleeping in a bit as soon as I share my uncanny experience today at the swimming pool.

Oh yeah, have not told you that.

I have gone back. The prodigal swimmer is back. I am not back to my 3.6KM swim. Right now I am just doing 1KM, 500m Freestyle, 500m Breaststroke. I still hate breaststroke but I want to even out my muscles hehe... I clocked the time it takes me to change into my suit, swim 1KM, bathe and dress and step out of the locker room and it takes 1 hour. I guess I can spare that much time to swim given that it does make me feel guhreat! :)

I digress.

I was wearing my goggles and swimming cap and most of the time my head was buried underwater because I was swimming... At the end of the pool I tumble turned to swim back to the other end. In spite this, my student still recognized me. My students from way back 2009!!! The only girl in the group went into the locker room to see if it was me. When she found out that it was me, she called her guy friends and two boys went into the locker room to say hi!!! I had to scold them. Thankfully there was no one changing into their clothes in the locker room.

These kids are nice kids, not perverts mind you. They were the same sweet kids whose class gave me a cake and a harana during our last meeting.

It was just creepy that they recognized me in spite all that I was wearing and they followed me to the locker room! :)

So that's how it feels like to be followed. :)

Chuckles...

I am officially a freak. I just cried over a Chuck episode *haha*!

Chuck is such a charming character. *sigh* And he's soh smart too! I do not know what it is but I really find smart uber sexy. :) I think I would fall for a nerd any day. It would be such a great bonus if he had the body of Thor and the face of hmm... Thor. ;)

Okay... Going back to Chuck! :) *giggles*

Friday Gate-a-Way

I forgot to mention about other things that happened last Friday because I was still being Thor-ribly distracted about the Thor-rific body of Thor.

I was able to try a really nice restaurant called Bellini's near Gateway. It's located at the Marikina Shoe Expo and while the location may mislead you into thinking that the interiors is not nice, it was actually uber nice. There were murals 2D and 3D. If you take pictures they look like they're real actually. It makes you look like you really went Roma, Firenze, Venetia, Pisa, Milan... *sigh*. The food and the live music were also great. I enjoyed my Penne al Arabiata very much! I would like to go back to that place but the commute is a bit prohibitive. I would love to bring my mom and my siblings to that place because they are such big fans of Italian food. It is owned by a Filipino and Italian couple and I do not think they have plans of franchising or opening branches... Oh well... At least I got to bring them to Cosa Nostra which is a lovely, lovely place with lovely food. :)

You know, come to think of it, last Friday was a really great day. :) I even had a hot fudge sundae which was especially sweet.

I have a sweet tooth and it does not stop there.

Thor-iffic

I got to see Thor last Friday at Gateway and I loved what I saw hehe... That Thor is really something *giggles like a school girl*! I have been this way since Friday and I just can't help it! I am drawn to guys who look loke they do not take baths.

I loved Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall and Troy, Heath Ledger in Ten Things I Hate About You, Tom Cruise in Night and Day, Hugh Jackman in Wolverine and Australia, Gerald Butler in any movie *wahaha* (he looks rugged no matter what) and Chris Hemsworth in Thor.

Even when I was younger I have always been drawn to this type: Rurouni Kenshin, Squall, Kurama... Robin Padilla hehehe...

So yeah... current apple of my eyes is Chris. :)

On a more serious note though I would like to say, the LaZ Boy seats were great but the sound system sucked, Gateway. I hope you fix that because it totally ruins the experience.

Bringing Sexy Back

I find a person who would use his brains to win an argument way sexier than a person who would use his muscles.

I just realized this about myself today.

So that's why Bonifacio never really caught my eye, Rizal has though *hehe*.

Ex-tension

The deadline was moved by one more week!!! *woot!!!* But I will go surfing this weekend so I must finish by Thursday at the latest. Stop rolling your eyes!!! :)

I want to collapse right now actually but I want to have dinner first and then fall asleep while watching Friends. I am watching the series from the very first season. I am now about to finish the second. :)

This will be all for now. I just really wanted to share the guhreat news! :)

Venti Venting

I ought to sleep already as it is almost three in the morning but I need to do this to calm my nerves. I need to exercise! I have not run in ages! Agh! I just find my self lacking in sleep every night so I could not deprive myself of the sleep late in the morning. I have noticed vast improvement on my skin and vast... well vastness around the hips *wahaha!*. So I need to run! But not tomorrow err... today because as you can see, I am going to be sleep-deprived yet again tomorrow.

I had to write a paper tonight and while I think I was able to write the major parts, I will need to review it by tomorrow so that I can improve it. In the meantime, this will have to do. The paper I submitted to a conference in the States was accepted *woot!*! Thank You Lord! :) *happy dance!* At least, I will not just attend a conference but I will get to present as well. Hopefully, I can get comments while I am there. The paper has much to do with my dissertation.

The paper I am writing right now is related to my dissertation but not as relevant as the one I just submitted. The deadline of said paper is tomorrow night *wahahah*! I know, I should be reprimanded. I was thinking if I do not make it to this conference, I will submit to another... So maybe I will submit another paper to another conference, the more papers, the more chances of getting published.

The only exercise I got the last few weeks were, wall climbing, laser tag and arcade basketball! :) I got to climb more challenging walls this time and at 44 feet at that! I want to go back very soon! I also went to play Laser Tag with my friends! I have very poor hand-eye coordination but apparently, I have improved in vast proportions! I placed third out of 24 players! Some of the people I was with were very competitive too! I was soh pleased with myself when I saw the rankings! :) I got the printout to prove it too! :) I hope to be back. I am actually thinking if we can make it into an outreach program for our social action group! :) Another proof that I have that says I have better hand-eye coordination is how much I have improved at playing arcade basketball. I scored 104! Okay, my guy friend scored 128 but he used to be soh much better than me or actually, I used to suck more compared to him! :) I think he may be a good coach that's why!

I will be going surfing this weekend and got myself a brand new rash guard and board shorts! I am soh excited! I really hope I will learn!!! I must! I must! I invested so much already. In my defense, I bought these things because I really plan to go wake boarding very soon! This outfit will be a staple in those wake boarding trips! *woot!*

I think I might go to Barre3 sometime during this week because I need the workout... Or maybe not. I just really need to work out! Agh...

Actually, what I really need right now, now is... SLEEP!!!

Blooming

I have just concluded two of my classes this trimester. Once more, tears welled up in my eyes. Fortunately, my eyes are big enough to swallow the tears again *haha!*. Every trimester, my students just really make me so grateful that I teach. I love their messages to me after the trimester ends. Even after they get their grades ( I compute their grades already during the last meeting).

Thank You Lord for leading me to this place. For planting me where I can bloom in so many ways.

Thank You for this gift.

I want to volunteer at a nearby orphanage. I hope to do this, this Saturday. Maybe I should go there tomorrow to inquire. :)

Exciting!!!

Sand Castle

A week ago, I was able to build my first, very own sand castle! I was not able to immortalize my sand castle because I was too lazy to get the camera from the room but I really think it looks better in my head now. I loved how my Arabian Nights inspired castle looked against the dusk with the tranquil sea in the background.

I built a moat around my castle (I know Arabian castles do not have moats but leave me be... build your own castle!) and as the tide rose, water started filling in the moats. This was partly assisted much to my dismay. I watched how slowly the sand castle was eaten up by the waves, gracefully melting and rejoining the bigger magnificence of the beautiful creation that is the sea.

Like my sand castle, I wish to be beautiful as well, amidst the dusk and the tranquility of the ocean as I age. I want the waves to slowly lick me and then swallow me as I gracefully melt into oblivion. I would like to fade only because fading will make way for unrivaled art.

Who would have thought that a simple act of scooping dirt and shaping it into something could create so much meaning into something I have feared for so long?

Thank you for allowing me to experience getting my hands dirty so I could build something that I did not know I could. It was such an imperfect castle but it will always be, in my mind, perfect, as the moment when it was crafted.

Until the next sand castle.

Vacay!

My head is already reeling because I need to sleep but I want to write down my thoughts before I finally give in to exhaustion.

I think I can honestly say, that I have had one of the most enjoyable vacations ever.

I finally got to try FlyFish which is soh fun! I want to try that again next time I am in Bora! :) Might go again this June for work. I hope we can squeeze it in.

Thank You for the busy and yet restful vacation that You have given me. You have given my mind, my soul and my heart rest.

Thank You.

The birthday gifts just keep on coming. :)

A Birthday Gift

This year, I got to have two cakes. One cake was from Osaka that was topped with strawberries and the other cake was from the Philippines topped with mangoes. But apart from these cakes topped with strawberries and mangoes, I got my cherry on top. Yes this is on top of all those yummy toppings! :)

I think this year, I got a gift that I did not imagine to get. The giver probably does not understand how it meant a lot to me but it did. It came least expected and it made my heart want to jump out of its cage, but in retrospect, I am just glad that it all happened.

I did not think it would ever be possible and that it would happen as it did but it did! :) Until now, as I recall all that transpired, I feel like everything was surreal. Of course, being the masochist that I am, I imagine myself saying something else or doing something else because I like to torture myself that way but I think all went relatively well. In the end, I just have to let go because none of what has been can ever be changed (and I am not just talking about this particular thing but other parts of my life as well). I have to learn to forgive myself and trust His hand. He has a greater design, a greater plan and all I have to do is to trust His heart.

So, thank you and most importantly, thank You.

On Japan

The day the horrible quake hit Tokyo was the same day I went home from Osaka. It was also my birthday. People were calling me up to check on me. Family members, colleagues and friends were calling me up, asking me if I made it back.

I did and I feel blessed. Thank You Lord for keeping me safe and for helping me make it to my flight (This is another post in itself).

When I heard that there was an earthquake in Japan, I thought to myself, "There is no way Japan will be affected. They are very prepared.". Even after they said a tsunami hit Japan, I was still very confident that Japan was able to warn everybody". My faith in the Japanese people is that great.

Unfortunately, the tsunami and the quake were too horrendous even for the most prepared. Still, as I watch them as a people, I cannot help but be amazed at how dignified they still look in spite the tragedy that hit them. How their government has responded and how they are now picking up all the pieces. Some of my friends from Tokyo were telling me how business, day after the tragedy, was going back to normal.

Even now, that there has been explosions in the nuclear plant, I still think that even that they will be able to contain soon. This is how much I look up to this nation, this group of people, more so because I have seen how they work like clockwork and how much pride they have as they do what is expected of them.

They have, over the years of their existence, triumphed over tragedies. I think this is one of those and one of these days Japan shall rise again to inspire and to awe.

Let us pray for Japan and for the rest of the world.

God bless Japan and the rest of the world.

Peachy and Clammy

Things have been peachy the past few weeks. I cannot say I was productive but all in all things have been going well in other aspects of my life. I hope to be able to make up for my lack of productivity the past few weeks this week. My week started off unproductive but today was an improvement. Vast if I may say so.

My visit to Japan is causing me anxiety. I have to really make a good presentation. *yikes* What troubles me is that I have to be in Naga for a week and then after one day of being back in Manila I will be leaving for Japan. I will practically be not in Manila for two weeks!

We have been anticipating March to be a busy month so I guess this is okay.... *inhale, exhale* Worried about my presentation so I better get crackin'.

Lost at Sea

I should really be sleeping right now but I cannot get something out of my head and out of my chest.

I have recently survived a shipwreck. After finding my way back to land after being lost at sea, I still feel all the pain. Not unscathed mind you. I have scars that remind me everyday of my reckless ways and a few bones still waiting to be set in place and heal fully that makes me feel the pain of stubbornness everyday. There are many days when I wish to run and play and just be as carefree as I used to be but cannot, as my injuries keep me shackled to where I am still day in and day out. What I went through and still going through are things I would not wish on my worst enemy.

I now see myself in somebody whom I feel might suffer the same misfortune and I cannot shout because my warning might fall on deaf ears or worse, it might fall on the wrong ears. Then again, I might just come off as a bitter voyager, envious of the adventure others might enjoy. As I stare at my scars and as I writhe in pain from some still broken bones, it hurts me and my chest is heavy ,knowing that I am helplessly watching somebody sail off to the open sea with the possibility of experiencing the most turbulent journey that will never be completed.

Then again, it could just be my trauma that I am inflicting on my imagination saying all these things. Perhaps these are nothing but delusions of a loon.

Right now, the ship is ready to sail. The champagne bottle is waiting to be smashed on the vessel.

I hope I am wrong.

Bon voyage!

Great

I am going to New York!!! :)

This is hands down my most favorite place in the US! If that is not enough I will get to spend it with a New Yorker friend! This almost feels like Sex and the City except of course there will be no sex *haha!*! She already asked me to bring with me a cute outfit because we are going to parteh! Hmm... what outfit to buhreeng?! :) I am stoked! Can you tell?!

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The recent episode of HIMYM was pretty intense. :) That is all I want to say about this. :)

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I was able to run today but I woke up late and had a morning meeting so I had to cut my run short. I got to do the Barre3 push ups still though and I was able to do dumbbells tonight but I have had four, FOUR sylvannas since my friend got back. I want to shoot myself *haha!* but it is just soh yummy! :)

I will try to not eat too much anymore because it will make me fat. That thing is made of buttah that will make my butt beeg! Which is totally uncool especially since I am going to Boracay! I tried on my swimsuit this morning and I think I should definitely run seriously again *haha!*. Still, being the vain person that I am is saying, not bad gurl! *wahaha!!!* Talk about fighting spirit! But you know, when it is all that you have, you just have to have that thing called... self-affirmation, no matter how deceitful you are to yourself. Works evuhreetime! :)

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Last night, I was fortunate enough to hear the healing mass of Fr. Joey Faller. We were blessed because he and two other priests came. He had a healing session after the mass. I was healed. Not by Fr. Faller but by the Lord, by Jesus and by the Holy Spirit. I felt a transformation take place.

I am glad I came because earlier that week I was thinking of going to my Tai Chi class instead. Yesterday, I realized that this does not happen very often and so I decided to take a rain check on my Tai Chi class and heard mass instead. I was blessed more than all the Tai Chi can give me. I was given peace more than what many years of Tai Chi practice can probably give me.

The Lord has plans for me. He will not falter. He makes great things out of imperfect things.

God is good, all the time.

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Tonight was fun too. I finally tried Punyeta buffalo wings at Charlie's. Two guys and myself tried it because one of us dared the others. No, it was not me. Two pieces each. Both were all sweaty and red. I got through without taking a sip of water, not breaking a sweat and smiling all the way through the pictures. We all had a glimpse of what it is like to be Adam on Man vs Food. His job looks fun but it is not easy. :)

Great company, great food.

Travels So Far

I have been receiving news on my travels for the year and I am thuhreelled!!! This March I will be going to Naga. I am wishfully hoping and thinking if maybe I could get to go to Donsol so that I can swim with the sharks. I am unsure how far Naga is from Donsol and how in the world I can go there. I might actually be happy with Cam Sur but I do not know if that is also feasible. I will just have to wing it. I will be there for a conference of course and getting to have fun is just cherry on top. :)

I will be going to Boracay again this year but I do not know when exactly it will be yet. I am also planning to go to Bora with friends but no date for that one yet either. I would love to go to El Nido even if I have to do it on my own. I just found out that there is a direct flight from Manila to El Nido. Going on my own might be interesting too. Well, there is nothing new to this really because I normally travel alone but going there alone on my own dime will be new.

I will be going to Osaka again this year but this time on business. I will be going to the laboratory we are in partnership with to consult with our Japanese advisers *yikes!*. I am really scared! I get clammy hands whenever I think about it. Last Saturday, my tummy ached like it never has before. I think I am becoming acidic. My friends said it is probably "stress ulcer". Fortunately, it has not recurred so that is good.

I will be going to Washington D.C. as well. I just found out yesterday. I am happy because then I will get to use my visa already and not on my own dime too. More than that, I will be able to attend a conference on my field. Hopefully, I will get to meet people working on my area and also get some insights. I am also hoping against all hopes that I will get to present my work because that can do wonders for my confidence. I would also like to catch Wicked. I hope. I hope. I hope. :)

I have been wanting to see Wicked for a long time now. :)

A Few Good Men

I have the deepest respect for men who know that no material wealth will ever make-up for character and genius. Those who live and buy within their means and aspire for more not so they can buy more but to build a bright future. They understand that there is no need for overcompensation and that a deep-seated respect is more than enough to make a simple shirt, a pair of slacks, worn out but clean shoes are enough to make them shine. They underatand that the honorable way is the only way to make money.

They will never compromise their integrity and values for any price as their desires in life go beyond those that can ever be bought from the store nor do these desires can ever be cheapened by a price tag.

These men are the fathers I hope for the future Filipinos.

Obsessions, Frustrations, Inspirations

I was so caught up with my newly-cut, temporarily straight-for-a-day hair that I forgot to mention how wonderful my Sunday went. It started out with a morning run, a nice, simple breakfast followed by a hefty, uber unhealthy lunch topped with yummy dessert, unplanned grocery trip, amazing company and bountiful laughter, raves and rants. I do not think I will tire of these things.

I opened my email today. I did not like what I saw. I have been praying for this but I did not get it. I wanted it to get comments on my work. But the thing is, I got the comments on my work. Nice comments actually, just not in the way that I wanted. I will try again though. There's bound to be another chance. *hopeful* My adviser is very encouraging and very supportive. I get most of my inspiration from her. We are blessed to have her in the laboratory. Really. :) Thank You Lord for her.

I have finally figured out the algorithm I have been trying to understand for days now. I found the dissertation where it came from and the dissertation explained it so well. Other papers were unable to explain properly.

I think I may have an algorithm already. It is not quite perfect yet but at least I am getting there. My RRL is not done yet and I have received a new paper that I have to look into. I hope to finish by next week. :) *crosses fingers*

I also want to try Bikram Yoga. I am obsessing... Really. I want to try yoga in a 38C temperature and sweat buckets! I have tried doing Tai Chi twice already in the past two weeks. I cannot say I thoroughly enjoy it but I think it is helping me be more patient. I will give it a try again next week. As for the Bikram obsession. I am really hoping I can squeeze it into my schedule. I was unable to run all week. Darn. I hope to run tomorrow. I have not been getting the right amount of sleep, perhaps yoga will help me sleep.

I hope to get myself into shape because I am going to be an emcee, a reader and a prayer leader for the wedding of the century! No, not the royal wedding but quite close! *haha!*

Straight or Gay

I am writing this post via iTouch so it is bound to be garnished with typos.

I had a hair cut today. I loved how they straightened my hair. I really looked nice. I was admiring myself all day like the real vain person that I am. *hahahha* Soh many people paid me compliments! Students, staff, faculty members, guards name it!!! I enjoyed the attention and this made me want straight hair even more. I considered this actually but they said I could not swim in the pool or in the beach. Right then and there I knew The decision was a no-brainer. I choose swimmng over vanity any day. Well... After everyone thought I looked purrty in my straight hair I began to question myself haha!!! And then my friend told me about the aquathlon at Ateneo! I am soh joining that!!! :) *prances about* Forget the straight, shiny beautiful hair! And then more people oohed and aahed and I was confused again haha!!!

But. Today I realized there are people who love me just the way I am. :) While I am now questioning their judgement * hehe*, I am extremely honored to have people like them in my life because their love transcends my imperfections. They love me inspite and despite of who I am. In weird cases even FOR my imperfections. Weird I know but I guess this is a miracle that the Lord gives me everyday.

This is on top of the kind of love He gives me, no ifs, no buts, just plain unadulterated love.

Thank You Lord for blessing me with so much even though I am ungrateful for most parts.