My Last Few Weeks in a Few Sentences

I haven't been writing becaus I have been so busy living my life. That and well, the last few days have been very stressful with all my responsibilities. I thank the Lord for giving me the strength so that I may deliver.


Happy Sea-leventh!
Last April 5, 2006, I celebrated with my baby our eleventh month together. We had dinner at Dampa's Trinity. I did not know where he was taking me until a few minutes before we got to Dampa. I have been longing to eat at Dampa and he surprised me by taking me there. I got to taste their super yummy enselada which is now my new favorite. They overcooked my favorite inihaw na sugpo but it was still good for me hehe... I ate almost all the 1Kg of Sugpo. We had a seafood feast, My baby got three jumbo tilapias and lots of calamares! I was so full. I felt like I was just going to be rolled out of Trinity like a beach ball. After eating I just had to stand up because I was so full. I felt so guilty after. :D

Thank you baby for the wonderful eleven months. I know sometimes it's difficult for you but thank you for always understanding me. I love you soh much! I am truly blessed. I look forward for more months with you.

Movies
I am really having a difficult time trying to recall what I have been doing the past few weeks I have not blogged. So let me try to see what movies I have seen these past few weeks.

Eight Below
The dogs were awfully cute. The dogs will really steal your hearts. I thought it was going to be super corny but it wasn't. It turned out okay. I did not realize some dogs can act better than some human actors I know. The movie was a bit gruesome and violent for kids though. I mean there's a part there where the dogs ate parts of a Killer Whale. What about kids who have seen Free Willy huh? Won't they think that was Free Willy they were devouring? Disturbing.

D' Lucky Ones
My sister asked me to accompany her to see the movie. It was sheer torture. I do not know why they come up with movies such as this. I have to commend Ms. Eugene though, she did a really good job. All the rest of the cast I think lacked something and she was not able to carry them all.

I can't recall other films I have seen so maybe these are all the films I have seen over the last few weeks. I am doubtful but I can't recall anymore films.

Books
Stainless Longanisa
A new book by one of my favorite authers, Bob Ong. Another good book. I could not put it down. It's a very easy read anyway if you have a sense of humor. It's a funny but a profound book. It had a sad ending for fans like me though. :)

Scarlet Letter
Christi Fermin is Nathaniel Hawthorne reincarnated. Okay, pardon the exaggeration but really sometimes it feels that way. He is very wordy to the point that you will have to pause to catch your breath even when you're not reading aloud. He is gifted with abundance of words and I know he chose them carefully but to use them all in one sentence should be a crime. Then again who am I to judge a classic. I have not finished it yet since I am still catching my breath from the last chapter that I finished. :)

Work

I had to spend time away from all other leisurely activities because I had to focus on my duties as a teacher, CCS-Pagkamulat coordinator, Summer Camp facilitator and Practicum coordinator.

It's a nightmare that I am yet to wake up from. Hehe... Sometimes I am just so exhausted from doing all that I have to but realize everything will come to pass.

Aikido
I have recently joined together with my mom and sister the Musubi Aikido Practitioners of the Philippines. We have been attending classes for weeks now. Currently, I am at the 5th kyu. After 30 sessions I'm going to try for the dirty white belt, we'll see. So far, I am having fun. It's very exhausting since one session lasts 2.5 to 3 hours. I have learned some basic moves. I have yet to perfect them but it's a good start. I am still swimming and doing crunches and climbing stairs. Hopefully I'll lose weight soon!

Splash Island
It' pretty ironic that we were able to visit Disney World's Blizzard Beach way before we got to visit our very own Splash Island! We went just last Saturday and I had a blast. When you're a teacher, I guess you can never escape your students! I saw a student at the wave pool while the waves were on and I was wearing goggles. Wow!

Car Show
I went to a car show at the World Trade center. I had fun ogling at cars I can't afford. :) I took pictures of them with the Canon IXUS 750 that my dad bought me. I keep on forgetting. I need to charge the camera! I ran out of bat 15 minutes into the car show so i had to make do with my 6630. :) I saw a student in that auto show too! See? What did I tell you? My beau had fun taking pictures with his D70S too!














After the car show, we went to Pier One and had dinner. Of course I had to order enselada again. Yummy!!! We had sisig and sinigang... but I loved the enselada!!!

We headed for Baywalk after and went for a walk to look for a good band. Most bands were playing oldies song so we got to traverse the entire length of the Baywalk strip. I was indignant when I saw a tram on the sidewalk honking its way out of the mob. I hated it at first sight! Who thought of that? It is by far the most stupid thing that they have come up with. They should take that out before that hideous thing takes out a child. There are children on the strip too. They play there. Not to mention these mechanical gorillas are destroying the concrete tiles! Somebody has to stop that tram's operation. Maybe they can transfer it to Luneta or some place where it can be more useful.

Anyway after I fumed my heart out, we found ourselves sitting on the ledge discussing things in depth. Some of the things we discussed, we did for the first time. Our views, at least some of them were unexpected but I am grateful that we had that talk.

Holy Week
I had an apathetic holy week. I did nothing special. i just saw Tagalog movies and just really bummed around. I felt I neglected my duties as a Christian this Lenten Season. It was quite a challenge for me. I feel like I am drifting from the Lord and I do not know why. I resolve to do steps that will lead me back to Him.

I did not get to go to La Union again. I was a bit sad because I did not get to spend time with my baby. I felt bad because I did not get to do the Way of the Cross with him. The Holy Week was very difficult for me. I missed him so much and I knew I should not but I did anyway. It did not help that my mom was teasing me all the time.

Wow this is quite a lot already. I am a bit tired already. I know you are too so maybe I'd continue this next time. I'll post pictures next time. I don't think I have enough patience to do that still right now. I have to swim still.

It's amazing how we can live 24 hours of a day and 7 days in a week and 4 weeks in a month of our lives and yet be able to summarize it in a few sentences. I hope we're really just overlooking details.

Film Feast

I just realized that I have seen so many movies in the past week.

Infinity

How many times can a mirror crack before it breaks?
How many times can a vase break before you throw it away?
How many times can you throw away a cat before it never comes back?
How many times should the wave come back?
Tides will pull in and out endlessly
As the world moves around unceasingly
So does love.

D8 3T

After the outreach, I went out with my boyfriend. We have not seen each other all week, save for the Wednesday night when we got to see each other for five minutes. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I know we are both very busy and though we do not get to see each other often I know that he is in my heart and I am in his.

We saw a movie at the Powerplant for the first time. The first time we tried to see a movie there, we were not able to because Flight Plan was no longer showing, all theaters were showing Harry Potter 3! I was so disappointed then, I think we ended up going to Greenbelt instead.

The loveseat was great because it felt like a couch! We always watch movies while snuggled close to each other except for that one instance when we saw The Legend of Zorro at the Platinum Cinema at Gateway.

Before the movie we looked around the mall and then we had dinner at Monk's. We had three variants! The waiter made a mistake and prepared two chicken dishes for us. They were all good though and I am not very proud to admit that we ate all that we ordered plus the extra chicken dish!!! You should try the food there. The Hunan Chicken and the Fish and Tofu are my favorite! The Chicken Cashew was okay too.

After the movie, we had our fave ice cream, Hagen Daz and then we went to IO KTV where my baby sang his heart out. He can sing almost anything! I had a hard time singing last time, my voice was cracking probably because of the lack of sleep. I haven't been getting enough sleep for days! I had fun nonetheless. By the time I got home, I was soh sleepy already. It was after all, a long but really beautiful day! I love days like that. :D

Reaching Out

Museo Pambata with Open Heart Foundation Kids 

Yesterday morning, I went to Museo Pambata with my other students to spend half a day with children from the Open Heart Foundation. Most of the kids have been there before also with the same batch of students who were with me. I had fun with the kids! I had fun especially since it was also my first time to go there. The kid I was assigned to was very affectionate and she was not very shy so I got her to open up to me easily. She has six siblings and she is the second child. She wants to become a nurse someday so she can help the sick.

Her dream filled me with hope and I pray that there will come a day when all her dreams will come true.

It was a morning well spent. There is no better vacation than to hear the laughter and excited shrieks of those kids. I thank the Lord for giving me the chance to experience what I did last Saturday. No words can express how glad I was to be with kids and to be with real Lasallians who choose to spend the Saturday morning with the needy than to get extra hours of sleep. I have never been more proud of them. Last Saturday is their last outreach activity as students. They will be graduating this June.

Thank you Catch 2T6 for the heart you have given to the poor that you have consistently helped.

Basketbol

Ang buhay, parang basketbol. Ilang saglit ng pagaalinlangan at maaring lumipas ang pagkakataon. Ilang beses pang ipasa ang bola at ang oras mo'y aalpas. Bawat sandali ay mahalaga, bawat pasa, bawat hakbang dapat ay may kabuluhan dahil hindi maghihintay ang mga segundong dumudulas sa ating mga kamay. Maging mailap man ang bola, di dapat mawalan ng loob sapagkat tulad ng basketbol, matalo man o manalo, sa huli ang tanging mahalaga ay ang iyong lakas, puso at isip na ibinuhos mo sa iyong laro.

Subic Sabik

Last Friday was the longest day and shortest night of my life. Allow me to expound.

I could not wait for the day to be over becasue I was going to watch my boyfriend play basketball and at 4:00a.m. the following morning, he was to pick me up to go to Headstrong to ride the bus going to Subic for their company summer outing! After my PhD class, I went home to just eat and then headed straight for the gym where they play. I got lucky again because I got to see part of the second quarter again.

I saw my baby shoot three points again! He is a great player and there are some in his team who are okay too it's just that I think they lack teamwork. I don't know. I am not a player nor am I a big fan of basketball but I think there is something amiss in their team.

After the game, it was already about half past ten then, we headed for Blue Wave to have a fix of Ice Monster. It was great that there was a live band there. I had fun watching them play. I got home at around twelve already and he got home even later. We only had enough time to pack and catch a few winks. He planned not to sleep that night so he was sure he can wake up early next morn... He planned. But not all plans materialize and such was the fate of his plan.

He woke up past four and so while I hurriedly took a bath, he hurriedly drove to Taft to pick me up. It felt like we were in one of the episodes of Amazing Race! We made it one time and got seats next to each other in the bus. I was able to catch some winks while in the bus. I could not help but feel sorry for him because he had really long legs and hte space in the bus was not for people who were more than 5'2"!

A lot of my students were in the outing. I knew this was so when even before I got seated, there were those who started shouting... "Hi miss!". It was nice to see them again!

When we got to Subic, I was just soh excited. I got to use my baby's Aviator gift! I just love them! We got settled in the cottage that we were to share with other people and then we started hunting for chips that can be exchanged for prices. I went diving for chips... the pool as always got me excited. I changed into my swimsuit... splashed some sun block and was well on my way to my diving pursuit... ala Lara Croft in one of those Tomb Raider training mode haha!

I saw one of my former students after my diving challenge. She is a student turned really good friend. Who said students and teachers can never be friends? I love hanging out with this student of mine. She's more like a barkada to me than a former student really. I was glad to see my boyfriend and my friend click.

I got to meet my boyfriend's officemate and I think he clicked with my friend too because most of the time they were together. They even sat side by side on the way back to Manila.

The outing was fun there was good food, a Bohemian party where I got to wear my skirt, swimming and bowling where I got to score my first 90! I also got to play billiards with my all around athlete for a boyfriend. He also happens to be good at darts scoring triple bullseye... He is quite a freak I tell you... It's good that I can swim, at least that's where I am better than him at. We also sang our hearts out with the videoke machine! of course, lots and lots of pictures were taken.

My father sent me his gift to me already, a Canon IXUS 750. I got to take some photos... I'm still practicing. Hopefully, I'll get my very own serious Canon 20D haha :)

I also had a slight mishap when the sandals of my Nikes gave in and I had to search for a needle and thread. Thank you baby for helping me find a needle and thread. He offered to sew for me but I assured him that I can sew. I love you!

It was an awesome weekend with my baby and my students. Below are some of the pictures.


(not my shot) 

Club Morroco 

Apprentice Shot 

Got Lucky 

Club Morroco's Ceiling (not my shot) 

Grand Stairway (not my shot) 

All Mine 

Mine No Doubt 

Yet Another Attempt 

My Champ-orado!!!

Champorado! 

My boyfriend and I missed the breakfast at Subic and I found out from my former student that they served Champorado! I craved at the mere mention of champorado. I just had to have champorado before the day ended! True enough... We were able to find champorado at Tapa King and that made my day! How did we end up at Tapa King?

At around 5:30pm, we were already in Makati. I suggested that we hear mass at Greenbelt since the mass there begins at 6pm. I was still craving for champorado at this point. We first purchased a loaf of bread from Landmark as requested by his sister and after we did, I looked around for champorado. Finally we went to Tapa King and imagine my delight when I found out that they have champorado!!! Wow! I was thrilled!

After getting some champorado to go we headed for T.G.I.F. to have dinner. We had some calamares, chicken fingers and Jack Daniel's Ribs... poor Jack Daniel... tsk... How many set of ribs does he have? he
he...

We saw 16 Blocks after. The movie was okay. It's your normal action film. It definitely relied on deux ex machina. A lot of coincidences in favor of the protagonists but they can be overlooked. It left one thought: "People can change.". This can be comforting but it can also be disconcerting... Change can be for the better or for the worse. Whichever the case may be we should all be versatile enough!

Thanks for bearing with my unusual cravings! :D I was just soh happy with my champorado but I am happier that I have you!!! Thanks because everyday I feel us changing for the better as a couple.

Swimsuit Shopping

Yesterday night, I went to Glorietta to meet my beau because I was going to continue my shopping. I finally bought a pair of plain Speedo shorts to match my two-piece halter top. I also got a two-piece from NafNaf that I soh love. My boyfriend picked it out... He does have a great sense of fashion! I love shopping with him. He's the ultimate shopping assistant! Thanks baby!

After fitting half of the swimsuits in Cinderella, we went to North Park to eat my fave, Garlic Squid!

Oh, I can't wait for Subic!!! Saturday here I come err.. I can't wait for Saturday! Subic here I come! See, I told you I'm excited!!!

Three Points

Last night I got to see the team's star player and champion of my heart play basketball with his officemates. I was late as usual but I got lucky this time because at least I got to see part of the second quarter. I was soh proud as I watched from the bleachers. He looked especially cute as he tried to steal the ball from the other team. He made a three-point shot which made me beam! I love the way he walks to where I am after a game, all sweaty and exhausted. He is just soh cute!

We had dinner together after the game and then I got my dose of really, tight hugs!

I don't play basketball... but if life were basketball, you baby would be my three-point shot!

Spending Sunday

I forgot to tell you... I saw John Lloyd last Wednesday while I was with my boyfriend! I'd be lying if I told you I did not find him cute and that I was giddy hehe...

Yesterday, I went to Las Pinas to hear mass with my boyfriend and his sisters. After which we went to their house to have lunch. I got to talk to my boyfriend's mom over the phone because she greeted me a happy birthday. She is soh nice! After talking to her, my boyfriend and I headed to Southmall to exchange his gift for the Aviators that we found the night before. It took us long before we decided on a pair because the exact same color of the one I tried was unavailable. I love the pair that we got!!! It's so glamorous!!! It's almost not like me! I love it even more when I pair it with my two-piece!!!

Yes you read that right.

I am planning to wear a two piece number at our outing this Saturday! I only got the top, I am yet to decide which bottom to buy. I don't know if I should get the Speedo partner of my two-piece or if I should buy another one. Anyway, that is yet to be decided. I also bought a pair of board shorts... I can't wait for the outing... I should not eat the entire week!!! hehe... I just had taho for merienda and we're going to Dampa tonight... so much for losing weight!!!

I rode with his family as we went back to Manila. They were going to a wake of my boyfriend's aunt. His dad offered the passenger's seat in front but I digressed because it would not be right but I was glad he did. :) I like his sisters too, they're very nice. They greeted me happy birthday and we are able to have conversations already. There are times when I am still a bit aloof but they're really nice.

Lately, I am ashamed of how I am. I tend to throw tantrums. There are times when I get unreasonably sensitive about things and my baby suffers from it. I'm sorry baby if I am difficult at times. I love you. I just don't know why I'm difficult at times. I'll make it up to you one of these days. Thanks for bearing with me. Thank you for the love. I am indeed blessed to have someone like you who would listen even when I want to talk no more, who can hear even when I do not talk.

Birthday Blog

I had my 26th birthday last Saturday! An alumnus of CCS sent me a message via Friendster, greeting me Happy Birthday and that though I am already 24 I do not look it. Okay, that sounded like a Pond's commercial but it did happen. I am saving that message in my inbox forever.

I hosted the event but before I did, my special someone called me first. He woke up really early that morning (which is very unlike him) to greet me a very, happy birthday. And it was. I finished my hosting job. After which I waited for my beloved brother to come home from the airport. I was glad to see him again. I missed him! He looks so cute right now, his skin loves Hong Kong!

He gave me an adorably, cute gift. Kind of reminds me of him because it has a really round face and a big smile. It's a solar powered Odoru! It moves sideways whenever there is light! We already played with it in the faculty room. He knew exactly what I would have wanted. Had I seen this in a store, I would have really asked him to buy me this! He is my brother! It now sits on my desk, dancing from side to side on end.


Odoru 

I had a dinner date with my boyfriend. I straightened my hair and he loved it, especially when it was curling at the ends already. Unfortunately, we forgot to take pictures. I know! I can't believe it either, we, of all people, forgot to take pictures! Well, we can always use our memories to relish what was last Saturday.

In the car, he gave me his birthday card. I love it when he gives me cards! After which he brought out a nicely wrapped gift, which I was not able to photograph... darn!!! He covered my eyes as I unwrapped it. After I opened the box, I touched what was inside and already, I knew what it was... A pair of Ray-Ban aviator shades!!! I have been wanting a pair for umm... quite some time now! Thanks baby!!!

We saw Casanova and it was great! It's not sappy at all! It had a Shakespeare flavor. No! They did not use old English but the plot had a touch of Shakespeare.

After the movie, we walked to Outback only to find out that Outback was closed so we decided on Bubba Gump's instead. Which was still a good choice. The birthday song was embarassing. It was the first time a group of people sang to my face. As in to my face because they made me stand in front of them!

Before the movie, we had time to go window shopping too! He made me try out more Ray-Ban shades. I tried another pair of Aviators and he said it looked better on me and I could see they did. We both decided that we were going to have it exchanged the next day.

I love looking around with him!!! He seems to never get bored and he shows interest in the things I appreciate and like. He's a boyfriend and a shopping partner and soh many other thing rolled into one.

Bitch In Business

Last Wednesday, my class finished at 4:40pm. I was exhausted but I had a meeting in Makati so without reapplying my lipstick, or even checking myself in the mirror I waited for a cab. The first empty cab stopped before me but refused to lend me his service because there was a Women's Day Rally at Ayala. The next cab driver was nice enough to drive me to Ayala. With the instructions given to me by my boyfriend, I found the Corporate Center with no hassle.

I was on time. I met the woman who sent me an email expressing her interest to hire students. It is our requirement for companies to fill up Project Details forms to make sure students are deployed to companies that will allow them to work. They could not fill up the form, I was informed by the woman who emailed me and so I decided to talk to them. They asked me to go to their office to discuss. So inspite my exhausting day, I went there and for what?

I was led to an office that seemed to be their conference room. Their office was a quarter of a floor. Maybe it was an eigth of the floor. The woman then tells me that they want to take students but they do not have external projects. I could not digest it at first... She wanted me to go all the way to Makati while a rally is going on to tell me this? She could not just send me an e-mail? Then she called for her team lead who I think, to date is a bitch personified. If your company does not have external projects, do not get trainees. If your company does not have clients do not cover it up by pretending that you do by putting other people down. I was disgusted. At that moment, I was relieved I am in the academe and that I do not have to deal with sleazy people like her.

I was fuming as I walked to PBCom where my boyfriend worked. It was quite a treat to see him. We had dinner at Fish & Co. again, the place is easily becoming our favorite. Though Bubba Gump's still holds a dear place in my stomach :), their Fish and Chips is really good. It was just a treat being with my beau. The best part of the night? When we were stuck in traffic going to Greenbelt (my fault) I got go hug him tight. We also got to laugh a lot and it was just nice having fun with him even when there was traffic!

Trust His Heart

Panic is never good.

The sudden realization that you are so far out into the open sea where the ocean floor is fathoms away can cause rapid palpitations. You gasp for air but the giant waves will unceasingly crash into your already sunburnt face and With little sips of the salty water you can feel your body dehydrate. Frantically, you swim away from you do not know where to swim to another spot that is remotely known to you. You let every muscle in your body exert all the effort that you have, propelling you to move. It does not matter that you are really just going to where the waves take you, you swim nonetheless with all your might, tiring yourself unnecessarily, exhausting yourself until you are on the verge of muscle fatigue and cramps.

Panic is never good.

Doubt causes panic and so it is not good either.

Today, I will take things slowly. I will let the waves of His great plan take me to where I should go. My incessant strokes are just exhausting me when in fact His waves are far stronger than my strokes and His waves will take me far faster than I ever could take myself to the destination unknown to me. I should stop going against the strong current because there simply is no point. He will take care of me and so once again, I will be swept away with the hope of being washed onto the shores of the oasis of His love.

When Storms Set In

Dark clouds set in earlier that day, threatening all those beneath it. The cool breeze that was there a few months ago has disappeared. Instead it was replaced by the dry, humid air. Breathing was difficult and movement was not easy.

A ray peeked behind the gloomy cloud but only for a moment in which seemed like eternity. Hope shone through inspite its brevity and for the desperate, hope is all it takes to endure all pain, to ignore the harshness of reality.

Alas, time has raced the sun to finish and now the night is near. Still the faithful waited with much excitement but no warmth touched a surface. Instead, what came after shattered all hopes, a violent tempest was in the horizon. The winds howled, lightning stabbed the dark sky and thunder growled hungrily, devouring whatever hope that was left in the hearts of those who wait. The sun was gone and perhaps for good reason but reason is not for those devastated. Devastation does not yield easily, it stays inspite consolation, inspite explanation.

Once the violent storm calms and the gloomy sky brightens, it paints a rainbow across the sky. Again, hope begins anew and the warmth of the sun caresses all wounds. After all wounds are healed, after a glance on the rainbow above, those beneath are reminded of the many months of blossoms, flowing water and chirping birds and how all these are worth more than the pain of one cold, stormy night.

Though the sun may at times, not warm my face when I most anticipate it, I still look up and hope with all my heart that it will, every single day of my life, because I have faith in those times the sun shone on my face when I most needed it to.

Fishing

Yesterday was very exhausting. Of course, it's a Friday, you might say but no, yesterday was extra exhausting. During my breaks, I had to dub the presentation for the preconfirmation, sign endless letters of introduction as the practicum coordinator, deliver donations at LSPO as the Pagkamulat coordinator, mimeo and collate exams as a WEBDEVE teacher, conduct consultations... believe me during my PhD class I was just pooped. My brain could not absorb a thing.

After class, I had to prepare the grading sheets to be used for the INTROSE defenses. During this activity, I was coerced to go to dinner with faculty members. I did not want ot at first, thinking of the many tasks that were ahead of me... I still have to prepare a presentation for the S&T Congress, check documents and test papers, then there's still the U.N. brochure that I have not done yet because I have to come up with a mission-vision. Just to sidetrack a bit, I cannot believe how CCS-Pagkamulat has existed for so long without a documented mission-vision. I hope I will be able to come up with a good one. Anyway, going back... I agreed to go because they said they were eating at Fish and Co. and for so long I have been wanting to eat there but somehow my boyfriend and I keep on passing up the chance because he always forget to bring his Gold Card.

We had Seafood Platter Two, The Best Fish and Chips in Town, Peri Peri Shrimps and some Calamares and Seafood Rice. The Seafood Rice is good. Not astounding but good. The Seafood Platter Two had fish that seemed to be not so fresh, the rest of the shrimps were yummmy though. I loved the grilled squid but I just didn't think it was worth what we paid for. The Calamares tasted good too but it was nothing extraordinary. If you ask me the Dampa Calamares are as good. Peri Peri Shrimps is another well recommended item. Yummy shrimps with melted cheese! The price is okay compared to Conti's. The Best Fish and Chips in Town lives up to its name and I definitely recommend this to everyone.

Anyway, by the time the Calamares arrived, I checked my phone if my boyfriend has texted me already, to discover that he called me so I called him. My phone, with perfect timing, warned me that I had low battery already. Fortunately, we were still able to talk and after much convincing he agreed to drop by. I think we ate really quickly (because we were all famished from waiting in line, we were the ninth in line to get a table when we got there) or my beau took a long time to get there. Maybe both.

I missed hanging out with them. I have not eaten with them for a long time. Then again, I rarely eat out with them really because I have so much to do most of the time. It's fun to eat out with them every once in a while.

My boyfriend got to the resto when we were almost done, with every dish all wiped out already save for a shrimp that I asked my beau to try. I felt bad because he got there a bit late already. He seemed sad. It just dawned on me, as in a few seconds from now that maybe I should have set aside a plate for him. Then again, last night, I was not even sure if he was going to change his mind or if he will really show up because he seemed hesitant over the phone. I was soh guilty. At the same time, it was weird seeing my boyfriend just quiet and distant. It was like he was regretting ever going there. We got to use his gold card, he finally remembered to bring it. We got 20% off... big enough don't you think?

After I walked my friends out the resto and bid our goodbyes my beau and I walked back into the resto so he can eat. He had the Best Fish and Chips in Town and he liked it.

Sometimes I feel like there's a trench between us that we cannot fill. I feel like he wants to tell me something but can't and I am just not good at guessing. I wish I were wrong but sometimes I just could not help but worry. I don't know if I'm just reading too much for fear of neglecting to read in between the lines.

Emancipation

After my melancholic episode, I am now very giddy and excited. Perhaps I am because of the double dose of Hershey's Kisses or maybe it's because I am in love again! All of a sudden, my world is in color again. Unlike in the past few days where my days were gray, this time everything is vibrant as before. I can appreciate music and I can think again! I can finally focus on things that matter once more. I am in love again with life, with my work, with having fun and most of all with this once in a lifetime love that I have. Thanks for giving me reasons to fall in love with you over and over again. Whoever said you need to fall out to fall in?

I love you.

Ranting...

The shadow of melancholia has engulfed me. I try to evade it but to no avail. It seems that whenever I see the light, I become to frantic and almost as soon as I realize my efforts to elude has succeeded, I find myself back to where I started.

I do not know where this is all rooting from. In a society that shuns psychiatric aid, I am not among those who seek help. Could it be that I am unhappy with my work? Do I not find the sense of fulfillment anymore? How can I not when there is just so much to do? I am stressed beyond words but then again, I have to ask myself... Have I done enough to feel stress even? Once again, the mere thought of doing exhausts me and so I end up doing nothing.

I guess I don't need to pay a shrink after all.

The way I feel could also be rooting from not being able to spend time the way I want to. It seems that I have not been able to do what I want when I want to. I feel always obliged to do something for someone. The number one rule to not to get stressed is the rule I can never do. Say NO. It breaks my heart to see other people's heart break. It breaks my heart not to be able to do everything. Now I am beginning to see, that not breaking my heart is breaking me.

Could it be that I am sabotaging my happiness? I mean I can be happy right now but I am choosing not to be for some odd reason. Why am I not happy? I mean, why do I have the urge to just sulk?

I better get to work. Perhaps my lack of productivity is getting me all depressed. Not being able to swim today because of the Accenture talk is making me doubly sad. Wish I could swim but I can't.

The Notebook

I don't know what is up with me.

I think I am still mourning over the loss of my Samsung notebook (not a computer, just a trusty made-of-paper notebook). I love that notebook. That notebook made made me productive. Never mind that it was unreasonably thick that I cannot put it in my unreasonably small bag. The latter is probably one of the reasons why I lost it in the first place. That notebook made my tasks fun like it had good chi or something. I have acquired a new, smaller, more colorful notebook but it's not just the same. The notebook I am using now is something I got as a birthday gift from a friend and I have been saving it for something special. Still, it can't replace my beloved Samsung notebook. I am still hoping that one of these days I will still find it. I need it. I have not been productive since the day I have lost it. Wah! Give me back my notebook!

On the Verge

Of Dementia
I have been in recess for the longest time mainly because I have so much to do. Lately, I feel like I am suffering from a slight case of dementia due to too much stress. Juggling all my tasks has proven to be difficult.

Of Recognition
Things though are starting to look up. I mean, Pagkamulat, the organization I am a coordinator of is going to partner with the United Nations so that they can support our Computer Literacy Program. This is good news because after seven years, the program will be recognized finally.

Of Heart Break
The practicum coordinatorship has kept my hands full but so far it has done nothing but break my heart.

Of Neglection
I have been neglecting my PhD research for the tasks that I have to do. The UN-CLiP partnership has really kept me very busy. It's good that I have another week to prepare for my next report. Though I know I should read more papers with or without an upcoming presentation, I cannot because I have so much work to do.

Of Stress
As an LSCS adviser, I have an upcoming seminar that I need to conduct. Sometimes, I feel like I am too approachable to a fault. I mean, students come up to me for an activity to be signed anywhere, at any time. I hate to admit it but sometimes, even that stresses me out.

Of Exhaustion
I have a bunch of test papers to check, I also have an exam to write, a presentation and a brochure to prepare for the Emerging Technology Congress 20/20, a presentation for the S&T Congress and a bunch more. It is extremely difficult for me. I have a bunch of projects to check too... So you do the math. I am exhausted.

Of Losing Touch
I don't get to hear mass everyday anymore... Sometimes I have meetings to attend to and other things that I need to do. My lack of connection with the Lord is taking its toll too. It has also been ages since I have attended a prayer meeting... I need that right now but my car isn't at the condo so I can't. I hope I can attend one soon.

Of Sisterhood Bonding
It's great though that my relationship with my sister is quite a breeze. We get to spend a lot of quality moments together. She's fun to be with and I think she becomes better company as she gets older.

Of Dealing
My boyfriend continues to put a smile on my face. Lately though, we have not seen each other much, thanks to our busy schedule. There are times when I cannot even text him right away. It sucks but I have to deal.

Of Catching Up
Basically this is my current state... As to my previous happenings well here are the highlights.


Last, last Sunday (yes, it has been that long since I last blogged) I went to his house in Las Pinas to hear mass and videoke with him and his sisters.


Last Monday, I went to RCBC plaza to meet with people from UN. I did some shopping after. I finally got to buy a 3,000 Php pair of shoes for 1,000 Php. I have been wanting the cute pair of shoes but somehow cannot convince myself that its cuteness is worth 3K... Imagine what a treat it was when I got it for 1K! We are soh meant to be! I also got a pair of leather shoes Manolo style that I love too! They have easily become my fave black shoes. At this point, it is not very difficult to achieve that status because I have worn out all my black shoes. There are a couple of pairs that I never like to wear so there you have it. Did you know that the shoe shop I Am at Greenbelt 3 offers a 1 year warranty for their shoes?

Last Tuesday and Thursday I just had to do lots and lots and lots of work! Save for the three hour videoke session with my co-faculty members. ;)

Of Revolution
Last Friday, no classes was declared by CHED because of Feb. 24. I was fuming when GMA announced the national state of emergency. Then, rallyists were ordered not to rally anymore because they are revoking all permits. Randy David and other two men were arrested. The rallies became violent, it was scary. People got hosed down. These could have been avoided if GMA had the slightest delicadeza. Unfortunately, delicadeza does not come easy these days, especially on politicians. I hate her.

Of Aging
Last Saturday was my little err... youngest sister's birthday. She's a grown up now. I have to keep on reminding myself. We spent the day at the mall. We saw the movie Closer to You and it got us all giddy. I really enjoyed watching the film! I think Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd both performed very well.

Of Wondering
My day with my baby! We went to Greenhills Shoppesville to visit the dentist. If you are ever at Dental City look for Dr. Cabading. She'll take care of you! *plugging* After which, my baby took some pictures for his assignment in his photography workshop. We also had my fave Strawberry Ice and he had Choco Banana Ice which in my opinion did not look very tempting. He took pictures of me eating, of me wearing my bumble bee shades... I was just glad hanging out with him. I love him so much. Sometimes I'm afraid of the possibility that I might love him more than he loves me. I just love him too much it's scary. I know he loves me. There was never a time that I have doubted that. I just don't know who loves who more. I guess I am mortified because for the first time in my life I love somebody so much.

Of Rallying
That night also, a conflict ensued at Fort Bonifacio because an officer named Miranda has been rumored to be relieved from his duty. From what I heard from the radio, an officer named Mayuga says that Miranda chose to relieve himself. I doubt it though. I really believe that he was forced to give up his post. It makes my blood boil how Arroyo is treating the people of the Philippines. Yes. I am seriously contemplating joining a rally soon. Just to appease the inner voice inside me.

Of Panic
My mom asked me to withdraw some money because the machines might start running out of money. I think that happened during the EDSA revolution. My mom was in the verge of panic. I think I was also. My beau was making fun of me for panicking but can I be blamed? I brought the money back home and then we went on to continue our date.

Of Missing
I love being with him. I have missed his laughter, his smile, his gaze. I missed just leaning on his strong shoulders, or linking our arms. I miss having my hands in his. I have missed hugging him tight and being hugged back. I missed him so much. After all, I have not been with him for six days... It felt like six months though.